Happy St. Bloggin's Day. For those of you who didn't already know, St. Bloggin's Day falls on the first Sunday to occur after the annual DangerCouch show, but before Christmas. Not only is this day a high holiday in the upper realms of elite comedy bloghood, but it also marks the start of Blog-onza, the hollowed festival of cultural identity and non-blogging.

St. Bloggin and acolyte at a local renaissance faire.

To do my part in commemorating these great days in online history, I will be taking a blog sabbatical until the New Year, at which time we just might have new videos and all manner of Couchly goodness.

In the meantime, please examine the videos, peruse the last year-and-half of blog posts, or come visit me at my personal blog project, the Ominous Comma.

Thank you and Happy Holidays.

Brent.

The show was killer.

The show was dope.

The show was the bomb.

The show is under investigation by the ATF, FBI, and several local law enforcement agencies.

Thanks to everyone that came, greater thanks to everyone who helped out.

If you couldn't come but would still like to donate to the orphanage, contact me at getonthecouch (at) dangercouch.com

Hello everyone, this is Ruckus MacMullit and I'm back. Jimmy seems calmed down now, so I guess it's safe to come out of hiding.

I thought things would be more tense with him, but he's been kind of preoccupied looking for something.

Not that I'm complaining.

Anyway, I sat down to write a bit for the Couch fans, but I got stuck. All that time between the pixels must have given me writers blotch.

It's a really bad case, too. I've got phosphor burn-in up and down both arms. Like those old arcade games where no matter what screen you're on, you can always see the top scores floating like number shaped clouds above the action. Except mine are in the shape of your emails.

By the way, you need to give up on that guy, he's just never going come around. You could also use a screen saver.

So I was going to give up and throw my notes away, when I found something a lot more interesting on the back side. I think it's from Wilh.

Winnona,

When I say your name, or sometimes even when I write it, my heart exceeds its usual, well-trained 80 bpm and moonwalks for joy.

Your bearing, your marksmanship, the way you hold a bayonet: all speak to me of woman who has everything, except someone to spar with.

Sometimes I like to imagine a life with you: long walks in the combat zone, picking out grenades together, cleaning our guns in front of a roaring fire.

And of course, matching and calibrated, his-and-hers bazookas.

Don't be fooled by the allure of strangers and mystery men when your battle-mate is right in front of you.

I need……………forget it.

I guess you're guaranteed to learn something whenever you tape together your scratch paper from the paper-shredder.

Anyway, I suppose that's enough for one day.

Be sure to turn off your monitor tonight, those pixels get tired.

Have you ever done something bad?

Something really bad.

Something so badly bad that you can't live near yourself.

Something so hideously awfully terribly bad that you can't sleep at night for fear that your bass player might fill your pillow with flesh-eating inchworms.

Well if so, you need help. Because you clearly are a very bad person. The kind of person that I have absolutely nothing in common with, except of course for the whole Wrath of Jimmy thing.

In fact I don't think you should be reading this, just in case the authorities bust in and somehow implicate me in your ring of unspecified evilness.

I don't know why I am telling you this. I just feel kind of close to you, especially since I started hiding in your monitor.

Yes, I'm in here and I'll tell you it wasn't easy. The hardest part was scanning myself. It's surprising how even the most advanced scanners still have problems with plaid.

So I'm kind of laying low for a while, hiding out between the pixels on your screen.

(Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about the oatmeal wresting site you like so much.)

If you see Jimmy, just act normal. Unless of course normal for you includes the tendency to holler out, "Quick Jimmy, bring the magnet! He's here in my screen." That kind of normal we can all live without.

Especially me.

-Ruckus

DangerCouch is proud to pronounce the next seven days International Jimmy James Recognition Week.

At DangerCouch we are all abut giving credit where it is due, especially when it comes to bad notes or flatulence. We are also as pleased as punch to bring to the attention of the world, (or at least the small portion of it that visits this publication) the many fine contributions, and a few really awful ones, made by "The Jimster" to the unstoppable entertainment conglomerate that is DangerCouch.

Sadly, there seems to be a lack of recognition regarding the crucial role Mr. James plays in the inner workings of DangerCouch, as well as a complete inability to recognize him in public.

This comes as a complete surprise to the rest of the band because, frankly with so many restraining orders against him, we figured there would always be someone ready to point him out in crowd.

Since this doesn't seem to be the case, allow us to provide you with a few Aids to Recognition you can use to distinguish the real Jimmy from the horde of sleazy imposters:

Jimmy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, People usually not Jimmy
Rather tall,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Rather tactful
Smooth with the ladies,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Smooth shaven
Abnormally self-confident,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Occupy reality
Reeks of charm,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Occasionally shower
Wears His Sunglasses At Night,,,,,,,Ain't Missing You At All
"Chicks dig me",,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"Please go away"
Likely to pick up on you,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Likely to spray with mace

If the chart is not working for you, try this handy visual guide:

Jimmy

Not Jimmy

Jimmy

Not jimmy

Jimmy

Not Jimmy but possibly related.

If are still having trouble with your Jimmy identification, please test your vision with the following chart until you are cross-eyed or a migraine ensues:

I
AMJ
IMMYJ
AMESYADIG

Please do your part to help make Jimmy Recognition Week a success, because it's really sad to see a grown man put up his own picture in the post office.

This is Ruckford MacMullit and I want everyone to know that I am 100% pro Nebraska.

There has been a lot of talk lately about getting rid of Nebraska, maybe having it auctioned off or even surgically removed, but I believe that a healthy Nebraska is an important part what makes this nation…however it is.

And furthermore, allow me to state that I am also:

Pro yodeling

Pro slinky

Pro tractor

Pro boscis

And even pro wrestling

But don't think I am some sort of yes man. There are several things I am adamantly against:

I am anti ABBA. ABBA exposure has been proven to cause irritability in lab animals and is not particularly pleasant for the lab technicians either. In addition I am:

Anti body

Anti matter

Anti disestablishmentarianism

And anti depressant

I am glad that I could be clear on these important issues. If you have any questions about where I stand on subways, astroturf, or hardwood flooring, feel free to contact me in care of this fine publication.