I am very grateful that at the age of 25 I am able to live at home and attempt to go to college under the roof of my mom and my stepdad. Like many things in life it's not always easy. But know this, it will not be in vein, I take my completion of college very seriously because it's the only thing I had left to attempt which would lead to a future career that hopefully be able to put food on my own table. I know 25 it sorta a middle ground as far as an age when it take 3-4 yrs to complete a college, but I did what I could when I could, not everyone's parents make the decision to help pay for the child's school especially at the age of 25 when he or she should already be out on their own which I agree, unless other things happen and he or she couldn't be out on their own due to their money and living circumstances.I did my fair share of being out school after high school graduation, and I took off 2yrs to just straight up do nothing but work my ass off, and then I went to a community colleg for about a year or longer and that didn't work out so I had to wait and see if I was going to be able to go somewhere else I could afford and be able to work with also. So I found one and started when I could. I now have lots of loans building up that I gotta repay after I graduate. I will pay start paying these loans after I graduate , and I will be working 2-3 jobs if need be. I understand that I gotta look for my type of work and actually work my ass off to get something in my career that I going to school for, and some people especially my stepdad doesn't understand nor does he care that I actually do worry about being able to graduate and the having to pay loans whether I graduate or not. And I'm willing to take that risk, cuz it either works or it doesn't. And Iam going to make it work, cuz this is really the only thing that I have a passion for and slightly know. Now granite I don't know alot of the animation programs that I have to know in order to do my future jobs, but I am willing to go to school and take the time outside of school once I get my own computer and programs to practice these things over and over again until I know enough to atleast get me in the door. I think I've done good so far, not as good as I could have but good for someone like me, cuz I don't plan on making wal-mat my 10yr job, cuz I would end up losing my fucking job over going insane.I do have future plans and whether I'm by myself or within a future female I will complete my mission of being a successful male with the last name Caldwell, cuz right now we're batting 0. I do worry about my future but not to the extent where I worry so much I gott start drinking or something else just to calm myself down....atleast not yet, cuz that's just sad and if you are that person then my your soul be at rest soon. Now I have many talents but being an artist is on of them that I have truely stuck too and slowly evolved what I'm able to do when I'm given a pencil and paper, that's just who I am, I am that starving artist who works better under pressure and during the hard times come up the greatest ideas i have in my life.that's all I got for this crap

You may not think this about me but I am a lazy bastard. I always have and probably always will put things off to the very last moment but still, somehow magically, be able to pull off whatever it is that I'm supposed to do and do it to where even I don't know how I pulled it off. Now don't get it twisted, I get my work done when it's got to be done and get help when I need it, but I am a lazy bastard but I do tend want to get things done when I feel it needs to be done right away. I can be an ass when I need to be or even when I just feel like being one cuz I get tired of being Mr. Happy go fucking lucky all the time, that shit don't pay the bills. ahahaah. I can be a tease, yea that's right a friggin tease but only when others enjoy it. I don't care, if girls can do it to guys, then guys can do it to girls, it goes both ways. And if I laugh about being a tease, tought crap, I've been teased by plenty of females so now that I'm at the point where females are like oooh he's, and for some friggin reason which still puzzles me to this day find me attractive....I should be able to play that teasing game or whatever regardless whether or not that female teases me. I'd even say I'm a big flirt, why the hell not, I'll flirt till my head falls off, many females like to be flirted with whether or not it actually leads to anything. That's my mission in life, to please everyone and have their life perked up even if it's just a little bit cuz that little bit helps. If it doesn't work for them then that's their loss and their missing out on some mad freshness and good times.

Ok, I work at walmart, which there's alot to be said and has been said about it, but whatever. Here are a few things that go on when I'm there that are a continual thing..well especially the one where I work at. First, young ass bitches that come into wal-mart thare about to have a baby and are ENTIRELY too young to be spreading their legs open for some dumb young fuck who happened to find the right hole but at the time didn't have a fucking condom and the girl wasn't on any type of birth control at that time either but didn't care cuz they were under the influence of either alcohol or some drug, OR were just straight up just having sex to have sex not giving a fuck about whether or not they produce the next stupid little fucker that will do the exact same thing. Also a good majority of these young bitches smoke while their pregnant, now don't get it twiztid, I'm not hating on smoking just the fact that stupid bitches like that can't simply stop smoking as soon as they find out that they're pregnant, that's not fresh, starting your spawn off early to shit like that. To me smoking anything while your pregnant whether it's a cig, crack or a friggin tail pipe it ain't cool to do that shit SO STOP IT DUMB HOE! Also at differnt times I see differnt ages but mostly 18+ chicks and guys standing in front of the pregancy tests section looking at them, but I never see them picking out which condom to use, just which pregnancy test to use so they can get the quickest result to see if they are pregnant or if they got nothing to worry about which if the dude would have just wacked his pudd, the girl kept her legs closed OR if they would think before they act it all could have happened when it's supposed to. I constantly find empty pregnancy tes on the shelves all throughout the store randomly, and I just laugh. Mullets, I got much love for a mullet. BUT, only if and only if you properly maintain your FRIGGIN MULLET. If you can name a type of mullet(which there are many different types of them) I've seen it in my store being worn by males, females, and even little children. I actually shedded a tear when I saw this one kid that comes in the store constantly with his family and he had a mullet, then one day he came in and it was gone, I almost it, but it was kewl that he moved on and got his head straight. And I don't care what the rules about retail says, the customer isn't always right and I'll tell them to the face and I could care less about what would happen when they tell a manager cuz if they ask me my name I'll hand them my name badge and walk with them to a manager and I wouldn't be punished cuz I don't care. Also, most of the time if there's something on the shelf that isn't there, it's either in the backroom, on order or on a pallet I don't feel like getting to cuz it would take too long to get cuz you impatient ass customers can't wait 10 minutes for me to get it down. I hate liars, and I hate people that lie to my face when you know your lying and I know your lying and you act like your not lying, wtf....Also, if someone has a stuttering problem never..ever tell them to slow down and think about what they're going to say, that just makes them more eager to get the words out of their mouth, patience, try it. I used to and still often stutter but only when I really have no clue what the hell to say or have so many different ways I should say something that I can't figure out which way to say. So put that in your pipe and smoke it, I've angered myself I'm going to play something or draw. PEACE!

I have got to say, this album actually blew me away, in the sense that the album sampler that was put out for the fans doesn't do the album justice. Not only will you jock this shit hardcore if your a Tech fan, but you'll also cry a little. I got nothing but respect for Tech and his production crew for doing it like they did. I'm buying 2 copies of this tuesday when it comes out. And as always come gangsta.

I never really realized how, I  guess, "bad" my sleeping patterns are until like a few weeks ago. Long story short, I slept less than I normally do in a week, and I had school one day in the morning, well I really didn't go to bed that night before, then I went to school, and I was sitting in class for like 5 mins and I felt like I was going to puke, I went to the bathroom and I didn't puke puke, I just threw up water I drank that morning cuz I don't eat that early in the morning. this happened a couple more times. Then I remember a friend of mine that puked one time after driving so many hours in the car with me on vacation after staying awake for so long. I didn't think about that till after it happened to me at school. This is just a random thought that popped in my head this morning and I thought I would share it with whoever the hell actually reads my crap.

Ya know what, I really consider myself to be a lucky person. Lucky not as in shit always going the right way, lucky as in having people surround me that not only understand me but have always understood me. What I mean is that the people that I have remained friends with are people that have gone through some similar things throughout their lives so far no matter how old or young they are. I just found out that another one of my friends is going through anxiety/panic attacks. This is one thing that I had a big problem with when I was younger. And I explained to my friend that I have many other friends that still sometimes have them. The way that I sort of took control of my attacks was to do research on it and to understand what was wrong with me without going to some damn doctor and taking some pill that would help but could possibly cause something else to go wrong with me, cuz that's not my idea of help....So....uhhh....what I'm saying is sometimes it helps to have people with similar situations that you may have gone through, to me it makes me feel better and helps me to understand what control I have over my own mind, and just how weak my mind was when I was younger. That's it. peace.