so i had an impulse to write.
as a writer i like to share.
and this is the action i put forth.
hope you receive this with an open mind and a clear heart
let me know what you think.
its called The Music.
Enjoy and god bless.

The Music



It's the music that gives me the ability to leave my self behind and free my mind from the structure and the content within that is deeply identified with the illusion that we are not the standard. The delusion that diversity must be put in a box that is labeled standard. Each and everyone of us are made through the suffering and struggle of birth. The contractions of life which must be embraced and not repressed by the guilt of man. The strongest, wisest, and most peaceful beings are the one's who have witnessed within the dream the deepest struggling and suffering.They are always being reborn in one form. Reborn in One form. It's the music that runs through the current of this being that electrifies and shocks this system of breathing and pulsing and pissing and shitting and laughing and crying and dancing and screaming and writing and painting……….and being that I am.

I will never be identified.

I will never have the ability to live life in a square or just inside the lines.

I will never live life with any label and

I will never identify with anyone else's.

It just seems to be the real dysfunction junction .

I have tried many times to conform to the rules of man and play the role that man plays. The game.

The play.

The act.

The role.

The identity of right and wrong. Good or bad. To desire power. To desire materials. To desire perfection. To not embrace Now.

Each time I try to play a role, I fail. Every time I label, I fail. Every time I judge, I fail. Every time I desire the outside, I fail. Every time I am not Here Now, I come really close to being paralyzed by the other, by the You.

The You is identified and the I is not.

Can you see this?

It's not that deep.

It's right on the surface on the peak of it all.

The music gives me the ability to overcome the failure. It is where I find the strength to fly high above the suffering that comes with the struggle of the failure. To observe what it is and that it shall and always will pass.

Inertia. ………………!

The music gives me the talent to rejoice the dissolving identified self.

And we all know we can't take any of these Things, these Identifications, these Forms, with us during the moments of waking up when we are dying.

Maybe next time champ.

It's the music that changes the eyes sight from identifying from the outside in to the inside out.

The songs of philosophers, romantics, lovers, fighters.

Songs of poets, writers, dancers, singers.

Songs from mothers and brothers and sisters in Life.

Songs from God.

Songs that come to us through the awakened heart.

Songs of a present presence.

Songs of true reality.

Songs from an ancient space in this liquid spiral masterpiece of what we identify and label as time.

Songs from Life.

The music that tells us to let go, get naked of your identity and 'Run God's children and Be Free of Your Self!'

Free your mind that keeps you shackled and chained to the egoic structure.

The starving, lonely, miserable, melancholy Demon Head.

Give it the freedom it desires so it can crawl into the deep gritty earth of gravity and allow it to breath in the burning beautiful core of Hell. Give it the power to release the two thousand year old pain.

Allow it to live free and Heal in its home of Hell.

Free your Mind.

Can you hear the music that strums from these things labeled fingertips?

The sound identified as Voice?

I will only call it's presence , Music!

I will always be present in its presence.

What a gift it is.

The past's songs of the children of Jerusalem sending currents of creativity through a modern day 21st century renaissance form.

Songs and songs and songs and the messages moving through observation and sight and joy and laughter and freedom and surrender and love.

The love of it all.

Free,Free,Free!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know that I am not right because that would make it all wrong but all reason is lost when the music is taking over thee.

Do You See…….the music???

I know nothing, I know nothing and I thank God that I know nothing.

Free!

What a merciful God to give me one more day with the music and his songs and another opportunity to get the chords right this day.

What a faithful God to love us unconditionally for just being and loving and singing what he had giving to all of we.

Loving us even when the notes may be to sharp or to flat.

When its out of tune.

What a wonderful God.

Wow, if we could be like God.

Unconditionally.

Imagine that music.

It's the music that gives me the ability to leave my self behind and free my mind from the structure and the content that is deeply identified in the illusion that we must meet some separate stadard. To judge the journey. That is not our purpose. The illusion that diversity must be put in a box. God made all of us so very different and that will always be. So why do we constantly try to find one way of being? What is so desireable about that old labeled standard box? To not live life as an always changing and evolving presence? Sitting in the palm of Christ and healing his wound as an always blooming flower. The most precious stone with different facets and so many different colors when the light shines through it. Just being one feather out of many fallen from the dove's wings into our healer's wounded palms. One now and the diversity of all nows. Each and everyone of us are made through the suffering and struggle of birth. This is truth. The contractions of life which must be embraced and not repressed by the guilt of man. It's the music that runs through the current of this being that electrifies and shocks this system of breathing and pulsing and pissing and shitting and laughing and crying and dancing and screaming and writing and painting and Loving………and being that I am. Music is Life. I love the music therefore I am.

Brothers and Sisters, Don't label me.

Lets just sit and be still and listen to the music.

Listen to Life.

 So i’ve been re-reading a new earth by Elkhart Tolle and I have also been downloading the podcast from itunes and taking the classes to get a sharper grasp and understanding of this thing we all share, the ego...:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />

The first two chapters are very conceptual, especially the 1st one.

I’m going to share w/ everyone the 3rd chapter because it really breaks things down in a practical way and even though I can be ethereal and do grasp on to things that have a more direct approach. i think we all can absorb info like that a little better.

If you have gotten to this and feel a desire to read this it means that you are ready to absorb and digest it as you may.

So here we go......................................

I will break up the chapter in sections throughout the week.

The on-line discussion and class will be next Monday 6pm pacific time.

The class will be on this chapter and the information contained in it.

anything below w/ *( )* is not what is included in the book but points of referring or responding to the ideas.

Enjoy and love this moment.

 

 

___The Core of Ego______

 

 

Most people are so identified with the voice in the head -the incessant stream of involuntary and compulsive thinking and the emotions that accompany it- that we may describe them as being possessed by their mind.

 

As long as you are completely aware of this, you take the thinker to be who you are. This is the egoic mind. We call it egoic mind. We call it egoic because there is a sense of self, of I (ego ), in every thought- every memory, every interpretation, opinion, viewpoint, reaction, emotion. This is unconsciousness, spiritually speaking. Your thinking, the content of your mind, is of course conditioned by the past: your upbringing, culture, family background, and so on. The central core of all your mind activity consists of certain repetitive and persistent thoughts, emotions, and reactive patterns that you identify with most strongly. This entity is the ego itself.

 

In most cases, when you say "I ", it is the ego speaking, not you, as we have seen *(referring to the past 2 chapters)*. It consists of thought and emotion, of a bundle of memories you identify with as " me and my story ", habitual roles you play without knowing it, of collective identifications such as nationality, religion, race, social class, or political allegiance. It also contains personal identifications, not only with possessions, but also with opinions, external appearance, long- standing resentments, or concepts of yourself as better than or not as good as others, as a success or failure.

 

The content of the ego varies from person to person, but in every ego, the same structure operates. In other words: Egos only differ on the surface. Deep down they are all the same. In what way are they the same? They live on identification and separation. When you live through the mind- made self comprised of thought and emotion that is the ego, the basis for your identity is precarious because thought and emotion are by their very nature ephemeral, fleeting. so every ego is continuously struggling for survival, trying to protect and enlarge itself.

 

To uphold the I- thought, it needs the opposite thought of "the other."

The conceptual " I " cannot survive without the conceptual " other ." The others are most other when I see them as my enemies. at one end of the scale of this unconscious egoic pattern lies the egoic compulsive habit of faultfinding and complaining about others.

 

Jesus referred to it when he said, "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye?" At the other end of the scale, there is physical violence between individuals and warfare between nations. In the bible, Jesus’ question remains unanswered, but the answer is, of course: because when I criticize or condemn another, it makes me feel bigger, superior.

 

COMPLAINING AND RESENTMENT

 

Complaining is one of the ego’s favorite strategies for strengthening itself. Every complaint is a little story the mind makes up that you completely believe in. Whether you complain aloud or only in thought makes no difference. Some egos that perhaps don’t have much else to identify with easily survive on complaining alone. When you are in the grip of such an ego, complaining, especially about other people, is habitual and, of course, unconscious, which means you don’t know what you are doing.

 

Applying negative mental labels to people, either to their face or more commonly when you speak about them to others or even just think about them, is often part of this pattern. Name- calling is the crudest form of such labeling and of the ego’s need to be right and triumph over others: "jerk, bastard, bitch" - all definitive pronouncements that you can’t argue with. On the next level down on the scale of unconsciousness, you have shouting and screaming, and not much below that, physical violence.

 

Resentment is the emotion that goes with the complaining and the mental labeling of people and adds even more energy to ego. Resentment means to feel bitter, indignant, aggrieved, or offended. You resent other people’s greed, their dishonesty, their lack of integrity, what they are doing, what they did in the past, what they said. what they failed to do, what they should or shouldn’t have done. The ego loves it. Instead of overlooking unconsciousness in others, you make it into their identity...................

 

*( this has been a very eye opening thing for me and something that has been a struggle for the past few weeks, but I’m getting better at recognizing that its the person ego that reacts in this manner, the pattern )*

 

.................Who is doing that? The unconsciousness in you, the ego. Sometimes the "fault" that you perceive in another isn’t even there. It is total misinterpretation, a projection by a mind conditioned to see enemies and make itself right or superior. At other times, the fault may be there, but by focusing on it, sometimes to the exclusion of everything else you amplify it. And what you react to in another, you strengthen in yourself.

 

Nonreaction to the ego in others is one of the most effective ways not only of going beyond ego in yourself but of dissolving the collective human ego. But you can only be in a state of nonreaction if you can recognize someone’s behavior as coming from the ego, as being and expression of the collective human dysfunction. When you realize it’s not personal, there is no longer a compulsion to react as it were. By not reacting to the ego, you will often be able to bring out the sanity in others, which is the unconditioned consciousness as opposed to the conditioned. At times you may have to take practical steps to protect yourself from deeply unconscious people. This you can do without making them into enemies. Your greatest protection, however, is being conscious.

 

Somebody becomes an enemy if you personalize the unconsciousness that is ego. Nonreaction is not weakness but strength. Another word for nonreaction is forgiveness. To forgive is to overlook, or rather to look through. You look through the ego to the sanity that is in every human being as his or her essence.

 

The ego loves to complain and feel resentful not only about other people but also situations. What you can do to a person, you can also do to a situation: make it into an enemy. The implication is always : This should not be happening ; I don’t want to be here; I don’t want to be doing this ; I’m being treated unfairly. And the ego’s greatest enemy of all is ,of course, life itself.

 

Complaining is not to be confused with the informing someone of a mistake or deficiency so that it can put right. And to refrain from complaining doesn’t necessarily mean putting up with bad behavior. there is no ego in telling the waiter that your soup is cold and needs to be heated - if you stick to the facts, which are always neutral. " How dare you serve me cold soup......" That’s complaining. There is a " me " here that loves to feel personally offended by the cold soup and is going to make the most of it, a " me" that enjoys making someone wrong. The complaining we are talking about is in service of the ego, not of change. Sometimes it becomes obvious that the ego doesn’t really want change so that it can go on complaining.

 

See if you can catch, that is to say, notice, the voice in the head, perhaps in the very moment it complains about something. And recognize it for what it is: the voice of the ego, no more than a conditioned mind- pattern, a thought. Whenever you notice that voice, you will also realize that you are not that voice, but the one who is aware of it. In fact, you are the awareness that is aware of the voice. In the background, there is awareness. In the foreground, there is the voice, the thinker. In this way, you are becoming free of the ego, free of the unobserved mind. The moment you become aware of the ego in you, it is strictly speaking no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind-pattern.

 

Ego implies unawareness. Awareness and ego cannot coexist. The old mind -pattern or mental habit may still survive and reoccur for a while because it has momentum of thousands of years of collective human unconsciousness behind it, but every time it is recognized, it is weakened.

 

 

 

............So there it is for now.

I will post the next bulletin later today or tomorrow.

Its about Reactivity and Grievances.

i apologize for any typos.

hope I’m finding anyone who got this far in a great space of NOW.

Feel free to correspond.

Always love chatting w/ people outside the superficial.

Til next flight

the SilverHawk is outta heeeeere!

Peace Love and Gratitude!!!

And so,

The sky went from blue to orange to black.

I reached the peak of the mountain from many days of strive.

Climbing it through the most garish of obstacles.

The soul came face to face w/ the ego and

in one strong swing of the sword the soul slahshed off the ego's

head.

White flags fell from the sky and the soul laid its body upon the earth

and closed his eyes and spoke aloud,

"I surrender, I surrender, I surrender."

And this is where I found peace.

And so on and so on and sewn on.                                           2/9/8  4.47a

What do I think about now?

It's Friday, or you can say late Thursday night,

January 18th, 2008.

2:54 am as I write this.

I have been going through what I call a transition

since the turn of the New Year.

To be honest, which I do value myself w/ that virtue, its been………………………a transition.

A guilty conscience pushes the honesty to the surface and can only hold the illusion of self for so long.

The truly guilty are the honest that live with regret and seek

atonement.

The guilty conscience keeps fears and control issues balanced 

Yet they do sway,

At times.

The balance of it all.

Does your conscience experience guilt?

What do I think about now?

Its hard to say.

My feelings have been wrapped in thoughts

as my thoughts have been wrapped in a numbness and a humbleness.

Knowing that I know enough to know that I do not know that much.

I ask, "WHO here does"?

What do I feel right now?

That is a question that I ask myself.

Sitting,

Typing,

My dog chewing on the largest soup bone I have ever purchased.

It's pretty ridiculous.

A good way to take care of man's best friend.

Anyways…………………..,

The New Year has come and I am in transition.

Letting go.

A year which has passed w/ gallons and gallons of water passing through my soul.

Rivers washing away the years of lost and sadness.

Confusion.

Regret.

Loneliness.

Alienation.

Heavy EGO.

The Fear.

The blue boy of have been.

What have I learned in one year.

Two years,

Three years.

In All of your years

What have you learned?

I ask people.

How are YOU prepared for the worst?

My mom always said to EXPECT the worst because if the worst does not happen you are not as disappointed.

Why have expectations?

Why have expectations?

I now ask my mother.

Why have EXPECTATIONS?

Oh, the pain of expecting.

What have you learned in

12 months

365 days

8765.81277 hours

31556926 seconds?

31 million,

556 thousand,

926 seconds?

What are you doing this second?

Reading this?

Well thank you for your time.

How many of those seconds have I let waste in one year?

If life is lived in moments, are they wasted in seconds?

Second and Seconds and seconds.

Passing by………………………..

What do I think about now?

This moment filled w/ seconds.

Running in circles trying to find truth and answers to the magnificent world and mysteries of Love.

Why must one be at their weakest and in the most lost and vulnerable state of states when the rarest peace and balance that one may experience intersects the path that has been followed?

Why do we hold onto the pain?

Why do we make excuses for our pain?

Why are we victims?

Is it the training of a warrior yet born?

The peaceful warrior of love?

How are you prepared for the worst?

That moment when your everything is lost in seconds.

Seconds Passing by.

Never skipping a beat..

Rushing through the hourglass of constant consistent change.

Faster and faster.

The sap of pain covering the skin of the soul.

Your skin.

Your soul.

In eyes.

Thick in hair.

Dripping slowly and sticky.

Suffocating and blinding.

Very tired as one must rest and dream of the transcendence of an ancient tree in a forest dead in time.

The lightness of dreams and love.

The idea of easiness.

The idealism.

The freedom to breathe again.

United we stand,

Divided we fall.

I fall?

You fall?

I stand or you fall?

You stand or I fall?

Or we both stand?

Side by side.

Equal.

Eyes to Eyes.

The illusion of love and what we love.

Is love the illusion?

I am alone.

Freedom I have.

Braking through the bars.

Bars and bars and bars and bars………………

Gay bars,

Straight bars,

White bars,

Black bars,

Girl bars,

Boy bars,

Holy bars,

and

Jail bars.

What do I think right now?

This moment filled w/ seconds.

Right now this moment I miss the touch of a love once held in me.

Right now this moment I am void yet full w/ thee.

What have I learned in two years or three years?

Four years or Five years?

Six years

and more have gone.

Years which pass where demons meet

Brain to heart,

I to I,

and the greatest wars

have taken place

inside.

Battles of the past and present.

Battles of the right and not so right.

Battles of freedom and slavery.

Battles of fear and love.

Battles of peace and war.

Battles of light and dark.

A battle deep inside where eyes can not see.

A battle that is lived and a battle that is received.

Battles that make us think, feel, and believe.

A war of boys into men.

Fairytale ideals and fantasies shifted into the wisdom and insight for the ages.

How do I feel right now in this moment?

I miss my love.

I miss my love.

I miss my love.

I wonder as a wanderer in this evolving landscape of thought and emotion.

Memories are all we have.

Pictures I hold that take me to a great park filled w/ roses where Shakespeare's name is carved into a fountain .

For lovers so lovers can love

And love and love.

Young innocent untainted love.

I miss my love.

The laughter  resonates inside and echoes through my mind.

Through my heart.

Every memory has been sown and colors etched within every action.

Every do and do and do and thought and thought and thought and

I shall and must be silent now.

The effort to heal and move forward.

The dreaming to change.

The hope to………………

I miss you.

I am alone now.

Filled w/ the joy of experience and growth.

The gratitude of surviving and getting all the way through.

Where do I go now.

Where do I grow now?

We once had a dream and now it carries in the wind where tornadoes land.

Where will the dream land?

What do I think about now?

Its hard to say.

My feelings have been wrapped in thoughts as my thoughts have been wrapped in a numbness and humbleness.

Knowing that I know enough to know that I don't know that much.

and

I ask,

"WHO here does"?

What do I feel right now?

That is a question that I ask myself.

Sitting,

Typing,

My dog chewing on the largest soup bone I have ever purchased.

It's pretty ridiculous.

A good way to take care of man's best friend.

Anyways…………………..,

It's Friday, or you can say late Thursday night, on January 18th, 2008.

3: 51 a.m. as I finish this and

I,

I miss,

I miss my,

I miss my love.

This is the moment I feel

filled w/ seconds.

Sweet dreams,

in my dreams.

Strawberry kisses and a galaxy far far away.

My life is like an open book.

Its always has been.

I sprung from the root of a human

As open as the dying sky.

My life is writing.

Words and words and words and words and words and words………………..

And so on.

Words that are followed.

Words that have deep feeling.

Words that frighten.

Words that cry.

And definetly words that LOVE.

Elvis said ,

"All I ever wanted was to help people,

love them lift them up, spread some joy."

I love those words!

My life is writing.

A life that thinks,

With words and words and words and words and words………………….

And so on.

Good words,

Bad words,

Happy words,

And Sad words.

What words do you say to yourself?

What words do you say to others.

What do you think about the words You think?

Excuses come in word form.

Lies come in word form.

Fear comes in word form.

Love comes in word form.

What words do you say to yourself?

What words do you say to others?

What do you think about the words you speak?

Song comes in word form.

I love those love songs.

Even the sad love songs.

Cause they're love songs.

Know what I mean?

"Thanks I appreciate the support."

Yeah, like those words.

Or words like,

What can we do to make this better?

Or words like,

Got Damnit, that was awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I really like those words.

You know those words that have been spoken

that just make you feel completely connected

to another living breathing pile of

hairy flesh?

Yeah those kinda words.

Those words like winner.

"Sinner????"

"no asshole, Winner."

There are also words that can get you stuck.

Words like loser,

Words like stupid,

Words like failure,

Words like loss,

Words like…asshole.

Sometimes it seems like

those are the only words.

Words and words and words and words and words and words………………….

And so on.

What words do you say to yourself?

What words do you say about yourself?

What words do you say about others?

Really,think about it.                                                                                             action

I am.

Why not?

I know what its like to want the writing to stop.

The story to just……………STOP!

But,

 there is this really great word.

A word that I have always liked.

A sum would agree.

Dream!

I'm dreaming of new words to write.

New words that make new love songs.

New words that move and

Move and

Move and move and move and move and move and move and move and

keep on moving and

keep on moving and it keeps on moving and it keeps on moving and it keeps on moving.

These are only words

                                               

And We have Our words.

Words that are followed.

Words that have deep feeling.

Words that frighten.

Words that cry.

                                                                   And definetly words that LOVE.

and so on and so on and son and so on…………………………….

Sewn on?

Write words.

Leave words behind.

And than write words.

And than leave words behind.

And than write words.

How do you know words of truth?

And than leave words behind

Action?

Feeling?

Sense?

Write words.

Intuition?

And than leave words behind.

Experience?

Those words?

TRUTH?

There used to be words that were said about how a black man is lesser of a human to a white man.

And you know what, those were words of TRUTH one day and still may be, for one's words.

Take a moment to think about that.

Really,

Stop reading these words and think about those.

Fucked up shit huh?

Sorry for that bad word.

I apologize with deep intent.

And so on and so on and son and so on and so on……………………………..

Babble and babble and babble and babble and babble I love you and babble and babble and babble and so how's your cocktail? and babble and babble and babble and rent is due and babble and babble and babble and babble and what am I going to wear? and babble and babble and babble and I went through this and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and I love you! and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and you suck! and babble and babble and babble and babble and when will I die? and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and I need to be loved and babble and babble and babble and "All we are saying is Give PEACE a fucking chance for one fucking moment in our short fucking human animal history."

And babble and babble and babble and I'm not wrong you are! and babble and babble and babble and babble and why not a black face in a white house, like,really and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble babble and is there anything left sacred? and babble and babble and babble and and I really like classical music and babble and babble and babble and babble and struggle and babble and babble and growth and babble and babble and where is GOD and are we really that savage like they say on the Tv and babble and babble and babble and I miss my mom and babble and babble and babble and I'm learning to love myself better and feel good and I know that's totally gay and not gay in any derogatory way because to get sensitive about that word is totally,gay AND WHAT REALLY IS WRONG WITH THAT WORD? and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and what are we going to do about our planet and when will my generation wake up AND SCREAM THE WORDS WE ARE THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and I love you! and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and I really need to stop doing this and babble and babble and babble and pets are awesome and babble and babble and babble and babble and what's going on w/ the prison system here in our society and the

Rehabilitation process and babble and are they really taking the men in the prisons and making them the best men this world has seen and babble and babble and when are we going to stop using words that create fear and that slow us down from moving and moving and moving and moving and babble babble babble babble and when are we going to wake up to one another and learn to REALLY PUT THE WORK ON UNDERSTANDING each and everyone of each other and to not judge and to evaluate lovingly AND PEACEFULLY and to pick your brother and sister up when they fall down upon the earth and are weak and crying and lonely and afraid and confused and FEARFUL AND just wanting to be loved and known

that they are loved and  here with you as you are hear with them and that I love you and babble and babble and babble and babble and, when will we all start to learn to love better and                                                                                                                    

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE  

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE  

LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE L 

Love.  What a pretty word.

Love love love and babble babble babble.

How many times have we heard that word and since we were born and how much do  we lose the signifigance of it.

Is it our fear of being good

and our fear of fear

and our fear of lack

or our fear of death

or the end of the world

or global warming

or terrorism or disease

or a weak backward thinking inhumane unaware cryptic, I don't even know if that word fits,but it sounds right, government.

Or people dying from bombs and guns and

fear and hate and confusion and

afraid and

scared and

haunted and

anxious and confused and afraid and haunted and anxious and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid of actually opening up to something that may be the best thing that we have ever wanted and afraid and afraid and afraid and I can't do that and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and I'm better than you and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and scared and cold and alone and dark and scared and cold and alone and dark and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and am I dying and afraid and afraid and afraid and afraid and I'm just going to give up and throw it all away and afraid and afraid and afraid and Nothing has meaning and afraid and afraid and I can't let go and afraid and afraid and I miss my mom and babble and babble and babble and babble and babble and

we are all writing our own story right now in this very moment in our heads. In this word right NOW.

one now won?

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Love or fear,

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Do you love to fear

Do you fear to love?

Fear or love?

What do you fear?

Yourself?

Others?

Animals?

Plants?

Disease?

God?

Satan?

Ghosts?

The end of the fucking world?

Violence?

Poverty?

Old age?

Death?

Pride?                                                                                  

sin

Envy?

sin

Gluttoney?

Lust?

Anger?

Greed?

Sloth?

Sin.

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Balance?

Really?  Really.

Love or fear?

What do you love?

Faith,

Hope,

Charity,

Fortitude,

Justice,

&NBSP;< o:p>

Temperance,

Prudence.

Virtue.

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Words.

Good or bad,

Bad or good.

God or the devil,

Devil or the god.

Happy or sad,

Sad or happy.

Right or wrong,

Wrong or right.

Let go or hold on.

Hold on or let go.

Right or left,

Left or right.

What is left and

What is right?

Black or white

White or black.

Righteous or humble,

Humble or righteous.

Day or night

and

Night and day.

Balance?

Really.

Resist or embrace,

Embrace or resist.

Hold on or let go?

Day or night

And

Night and day.

Balance?

Really.

We are words.

We are the words that think and speak and feel.

This all is words.

You are words.

I am words.

When will we be grateful of all of words?

Our stories.

Our books.

Our volumes of love and loss and

fear and struggle.

Of strength,

of growth.

Those chapters on overcoming and surviving.

Words.

Our words.

Our lives.

Gratitude for life?

All, and all,

And all,

And all,

And all,

And all,

And all,

And all.

When will we  be grateful all the time?

All the time?

Why not?

many lives

 and

many words.

So many lives,

And so many

 words.

Words that move people to fear or love.

Words that kill.

Words that love.

Words that hate and

Words that love.

Words of guilt.

Regret.

Pain. Destruction.

all alone.

Sorrow.                        

Words that love.

Words that make you run free and smile for tomorrow.

Words, and words, and words and words and words and words and it just doesn't stop

Words that  that  Create CHANGE.

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

What do you fear?

Yourself?

 

What do you love?

Yourself?

What do you love?

Love?

What do you fear?

Love?

What do you fear?

Fear?

Words and words and words and words and words and words and words.

Its only words.

Its only words

its only words.

Its only words.

Only words.

And word and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words………………………..

Words so old that are new.

Old and new,

New and old.

Old and new,

New and old.

Old and new,

New and old.

Balance?

Really?

No just words.

Words and words and words and words and words and words and…………………………….

Strength.

Gratitude 

Change.

Word.

I know,

Just words.

But, oh how they move.

The way they sing the songs they make.

Do we fear gratitude or

Love gratitude,

Do we fear change or

Love change.

Old fear?

New change?

Balance?

Really?

Really.

Oh how I love words.

Words from the great Martin Luther King.

Words from the songs of John Lennon, Bob Marley, and so many.

What words do we see in the world?

Do we live Martin's dream?

Have we sang are redemption song?

Did we give peace a chance?

The dark competes with light

The light fights the dark.

In man's minds these words live.

Invisible is the word the homeless man holds.

Faggot shame and guilt are words to bring a race of men to their knees.

Nigger is the word they tried to give to some.

Drinking the sweetest lemonade.

Fear or love,

Love or fear.

Why do we fear to love?

Words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and words and word and words and words and words.

So many words so many people.

Our words.

Our lives.

So many words so many people.

So many people and so many words.

So many words and so many people.

We hear the words of others.

Time and Time again and Time and Time again and Time and Time and

Oh shit, TIME is running out.

TIME,TIME.TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME TIME,Tick,TIME,Tock,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,Tick,TIME,TIMETIME,TIME,TIME,TIM,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME, TIME,Tock,TIME,TIME,TIME,Tick,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,Tock,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME,TIME.

FAST,

SLOW,FAST,

SLOW,

FAST,SLOW,

FAST,

SLOW,FAST,

SLOW,fast,slow,fast,slow,slow, fast, slow,fast,slow, fast, time is running ooooooooooooUT.

WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING WITH OUR WORDS?

WHAT ARE WE ALL DOING WITH OUR LIVES?

WHAT ARE WE SAYING W/ OUR WORDS?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT THIS LIFE?

WHAT DO YOUR WORDS SAY ABOUT OTHERS?

WHAT DO YOU WORDS THINK ABOUT THEIR LIVES?

WHAT DO OUR WORDS SAY ABOUT OTHERS?

WHAT DO OUR WORDS SAY ABOUT OUR LIVES?

BALANCE?

REALLY?

REALLY.

AND SO ON AND SO ON AND SO AND SO ON AND……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

My life is an open book.

You can read me if you like.

I will read you and let you see the words I see.

We'll find words that  match exactly.

Please tell me what you see.

As I will do for you gratefully.

We are words.

Words are our lives.

Our stories.

Words that are followed,

Words with deep feeling,

Words that remember fear,

Words that stand strong.

Words that question and words

That change.

Words that are great and full,

Silly words,

Confused words,

And words that definetly love.

The words of John 13:34

Fear or love,

Love or fear?

All I want to do is help people, love them, lift them up,spread some joy.

I like your words Elvis.

My life is writing.

A life that thinks.

A life with words and words and words and words and words and…………………………….

And so on.

7:44 A'

DIDN'T GET OFF WORK 'TIL 3 A'

DECIDED TO YAAA!!! YAAA!!! A LITTLE BIT TO CELEBRATE THE NIGHT'S TOIL.

HAD A FEW KETLES,CRAN,AND OJ ON THE ROCKS.

PLAYED MS. PAC MAN ON THE ARCADE @ A BROWN SKIN BRAH'S SQUARE 1.

HOME NOW......................

SMOKE A COUPLE PIPE FULLS OF AN HERBALLY REFRESHMINT.

DO A FEW STRAIGHT WHITES.

I USALLY RUB 1 OUT WHEN I HAVE A LONG FESTIVE NOCTURNAL SUBMISSION.

ENABLES THE SANDMAN TO COME AND SING A LULLYBYE SO I CAN DRIFT ON A CLOUD OF DARK WARM WHITE ON A  CLEAR WINTER NIGHT.

FEELING AT EASE FROM AN ENERGY ONCE STORED.

POTENTIAL TO KINETIC.

THE GREEN TREES, OH THE GREEN TREES.

I PRAYED FOR RAIN.

I PRAYED AND I ASKED 47 TIMES.

I'M WRITING BY CANDLELIGHT IN THE 21ST CENTURY.

SOOOO "MODERN RENAISSANCE".

OH HOLLYWOOD,OH HOLLYWOOD.

KINETIC TO POTENTIAL.

I PRAYED 47 TIMES.

I PRAYED FOR RAIN. 

ALTA VISTA BLVD.

WEST IN THE  SUNSET AND BETWEEN THE FOUNTAIN.

OH THE GREEN TREES.

I PRAYED FOR RAIN. 

GOODNIGHT MY FRIENDS,

GOODNIGHT.

THIS LOVE,

THIS HEART,

WHERE IS IT?          

IT'S LIKE WATER SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS.

MY HANDS ARE DRY NOW. 

THIS LACK OF MOISTURE FROM THE TRUE  RICHNESS IS CRACKING MY HANDS AND THIS CRACKING HURTS VERY VERY DELICIOUSLY.

SO YUMMY THAT I WOULD RATHER SPEND ETERNITY IN A DARK SILENCE.

MY EARS ARE DEAF,

MY EYES SEE NO LIGHT AND I SIT HERE ALONE,

SATISFIED.

 

 

plant a seed and watch it grow.

care for it and watch it grow.

love it and watch it grow.

any kind of seed.

what has been planted in the garden?

words are seeds.

thoughts are seeds.

what kind of seeds are you planting?

how does your garden grow?

We are the Gardeners of the Garden.

What kind of Seeds are You Growing?

plant a seed and watch it grow.

care for it and watch it grow.

we all plant seeds.

so go ahead.

plant a seed.

What Seeds are You Planting?

plant a seed.