As many of you are face down on the floor at this time let me remind you of another of the Saint’s miracles.....Some time ago in the hamlet of Galway stood a house, but this house was far from ordinary. In this house lived 25 women filled with lust and naughtiness. Things happened there that would make Bill Clinton blush, even the animals stayed away. There would be no problem with this except that this house was on the way to the only pub in Galway.

One day the leader of this amorous group stepped out on the porch and declared that if any man walk past the house they would run out, drag him in and all would tempt him beyond his dreams. The town was petrified. What were they to do? It was truly a sad day in Galway. All was grim until....St. Patrick Connors arrived.

 He was on his way to have a pint when he heard of the Cottage of Carnal Sin. he walked up to the porch and said for all to hear. "I’ll not fear ye, you high heeled vixen!"  he said with fire in his eyes. " You’ll not have to carry me in I’ll walk in by myself!" 

He shook his devine fist in the air and exclaimed " Woe be unto you, who try to tempt me. You’ll feel the wrath and rapture from my pants!!" He walked into the house sacrificing himself for the town. Thunder and lightning erupted as he went in the door and passed NY state Govenor Elliot Spitzer on his way out.

Four days and nights the house shook and rocked. Many claimed to hearing those lustful hotties screaming for the almighty as St. Patrick Connors converted them all one by one. The pain and passion of St. Patrick Connors was heard by one and all. Now the house is B&B and the people can visit their favorite pub without fear. St. Patrick Connors had his pint and went on to perform many more mircles

So the next time a woman in heels and a miniskirt walks up to you. Remember the sacrifice of St. Patrick Connors made for you.

Friends as we approach St. Patrick’s Day we must remember another St. Patrick...St. Patrick Connors a saint like no other. One who sacrificed so much so others could enjoy life. 

One such story in the legend of St. Patrick Connors happened many months ago in ..Dublin, it was an ordinary day at the Guinness factory when suddenly and with out warning several of the storage tanks at the factory burst open causing 356,000 gallons of the nectar to spill and cause a massive flood. One that could swallow the entire mighty metropolis in a flash, people began to evacuate the city in droves and all thought to be safe…except poor Timmy from the orphanage was accidentally left behind in the rush because he went to look for his puppy "Patches".

All looked dim for Timmy as the wave of 356,000,000 gallons of Guinness was about to engulf the poor orphan- When suddenly He appeared......St. Patrick Connors!

He stood between the boy, his puppy and the sinister wave of Guinness. Lifted his pious arms to the heavens, drew a breath and drank the entire killer tsunami sized 356,000,000,000 gallons of Guinness single handedly and saved the city of Dublin.

The city cheered and gave him the key to the city, which he used to go to the bathroom (avoiding another disaster) and was not seen for three days.

When you have a pint this weekend think of the sacrifice of St. Patrick Connors.