Ulth-kiddaaa' (Long time ago,...) in a cha-ha-ohh (ramada) somewhere between the Four Sacred Mountains, he was born in the traditional way.  His Chai', Old Man Moustache was a reknown horseman, with a region wide reputation for braiding horsehair bridles.  He had just finished what he felt was the finest halter, when he heard the newborn cry its first living breath.  Moustache smiled, wiped the sweat from his bushy eyebrows and hung the halter on a ramada cross-pole.  It has been a joyful season of anticipation for their new arrival.  As a patriarch he could tell from the gasping cry that,...Ush-kee Ah-teeh (Its a boy.)  In his morning prayers, he sought inspiration from the Creator for a name for his expected Grandson.  His daughter, who had given this gift of life was named Soi'yo'inih (Sees Stars) by her Grandfather.  By the time she began to talk, she referred to her self as,.. Star.  As Moustache walked up to the ramada, the womenfolk and relatives parted, forming an opening through which the patriarch walked.  Star smiled radiantly and asked her father, "Shi-zhee'ih, nnl-ihh shoh, (Father, come see..) tell us what his name will be."  Moustache picked up the gurgling infant, and with tears welling up in his eyes he reverently proclaimed, Nn-tsa-hokaasi ohl-yaado (His name shall be Thinker).  Everyone nodded in solemn approval, thus, Thinker began his life journey during the storytelling season.  (Stay Tooned)

Somewhere on the Navajo Nation, in a poorly lit phone booth, stands a lone Dine' with a 77oz. BIG GHULP drink and a "John Tailgate Buffet Mutton Sandwich".  Unbelievable and beyond comprehension, he actually has Rush Limbough on the "one 8hannert line".  RUSH:  I demand to know who I am talking to.  Don't you know that I am on loan from God!!!  LISTENER:  How come you won't answer my question?  Why weren't you taken in the non-Indian rapture??  RUSH:  Mr. Snerdleeeeee!,.... where are youuuuu!  Where is my staff, I need some music,... (Huffing & Sweating Profusely)... SOMEBODY PLAY TIM McGRAW's famous INJUN SONG,... "I'm An Ind'n Outlaw".  LISTENER:  Dooh-lah-doo-duhduh heyyyy!!... Don't tell me dat' you are part Cherokee.  RUSH:  What if I may be?  Ahhhhhmmm perhaps thats why I'm still here.  LISTENER:  Don't you know whats going on??  Why you weren't taken in the non-Indian rapture?  RUSH:  I have a plethera of EIB variables!  LISTENER:  Pletha-what??.. EIB,...what iz dat?  Its almost like BIA, 'cept BACKWARDS!!  E.I.B.,.. Does it stand for EATING INDIAN BREAD?  RUSH:  Ohhh yeah!!  You say dat you,... GOOD GRIEF! WHATS HAPPENING TO MY VENACULAR SKILLS?  You say dat,... dat,... (moans) You say that you are the most POWERFUL INDIAN on'da Nabah-ho Naashinn.  Who are you??? What makes you think you are more powerful dan'me?  LISTENER:  I am a decendent of Barboncito and Manuelito, Grandson of a World War I veteran who fought at Belle Woods, son of a Navajo Code-Talker, Viet Vet, and most importantly,.. A NATIVE AMERICAN VOTER!!!  Tomorrow you will be history... Im going to the sweat lodge now to give thanks.   RUSH:  DON'YOU DHARE HUNG UP ON FOR ME,... DO'U HEER MEEE!!!  I am on loan from God!!!   Yerr'jus one lone Indian in the middle of nowhere..... (The ranting goes on and on and on,.. puffing his cigars,... and, oh by the way, it has been verified dat he not part Cherokee.) 

     Doola' doh duh dah heyyy! How can it be that, after this Non Indian Rapture, that Rush Limpbough is still on the radio?  I carefully readjusted my radio dial after parking on the highest mesa between Lupton and Window Rock, Arizona.  The reception was scratchy and static filled, kinda like everything that is offered to Indian nations.  I wondered out loud if Indians actually listened to Rush.  I shuddered at the thought that,.... what if I was the only Indian on earth that listend to this talk show Custer, a maniaccal egotist!  I turned the tuning knob, NOPE!, not even Insanity Hannity was on the air.  WAIT!!,... there it was, full of staic, but he was there,....  RUSH:  Hello, hello, this is the EIB network, who am I speaking to?   LISTENER:  Hey Shi-Buddie, doya know dat you are dah ohnlee Billaghanna on the radio?  All da FM's stations are dead on da REZ.  RUSH:  Now listen here, what did you call me? Billa..what!  It sounded like you were saying something like  "Bill-loanie"!!  I demand to know who I am talking to!  LISTENER:  I SAT BILLAGHANNA, you bill loanie head!  You are the only "white guy" on the radio.  Yew alwayz sat yew were a giff from God, how come you weren't taken in da NON-INDIAN RAPTURE?  RUSH:  Now listen here, what AM affilliate are you listening to, and just who are you.  LISTENER:  I AM DA MOST POWERFUL INDIAN ON THE NAVAJO NATION!   There was a sudden silence on the radio,.. I listened to Rush's labored breathing,... I could hear the LISTENER humming a almost inaudible traditional Navajo song.    (STAY TOONED)