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maria cerrillo


Last Updated: 12/3/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 19
Sign: Sagittarius

City: athens..n rep fa san juan homi!!
State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/17/2006

Blog Archive
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 /  / 
June 8, 2009 - Monday 

Current mood:  drained
Category: Writing and Poetry
OPEN YOUR EYES INTERNALLY AND EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT MAKES YOU LOOK AT ME DIFFERENTLY. COULD IT BE THE WALK I WALK IT NEVER SEEMED THHAT STRANGE TO ME OR THE FACT THAT I AM VERY WELL EDUCATED YET YOU REFUSE TO ADMIT THE FACCT BECAUSE YOU PLAINLY HATE IT. MAYBE ITS MY VOICE NOT QUITE A SORT OF YOUR CHOICE. OH YEA IT MIGHT BE THAT I HAVE THE SAME ORDINARY ORGANS THAT EVERY BEING IS GIVEN AT THE POINT OF EXISTENCE I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVVE TO SEE ME IN A TOTAL DIFFERENT WAY. MAYBE ITS THAT I AM FROM HARD WORKING UPBRINGINGS IS OR THAT I CAN WRITE SPEAK READ TYPE THINK AND CRY IN SPANISH AND ENGLISH FLUENTLY. OR MAYBE MY BELIEFS THAT WE ARE BORN TO WORK HARD IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE OR THE COLOR OF MY HAIR MAYBE EVEN MY EYES. I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I AM LOOKD AT DIFFERENTLY AS MY PEOPLE SEEM TO BE I HATE TO ADMIT THAT THE ONLY REASON IS THAT I HAVE A DIFFERENT COLOR SKIN ONCE IMMIGRANT PARENTS AND A FOREIGN BIRTHPLACE. THE ONLY REASON IS THAT YOU ARE NOT A MEXICAN LIKE ME.
May 14, 2009 - Thursday 

Current mood:  relaxed
Category: Writing and Poetry
..like sugar sprinkles on my cookie. a tingly feeling in my heart. an unknown voice that calls for you. a warmth only felt when im with you. LUV is feeling that i have known you since my existence. the releiver to my disguised pain.
January 23, 2009 - Friday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
i am one in this world
sitting in the green yellow grass
with the wind pulling my hair
my thoughts flying away
with the breeze that attacks my whole
eye witness the empty homes waiting still
for the ones they love
i am on with a pen and a notebook
i am only one in the gigantic world living another day
observing the creations that God and men made
i feel at ease with life
even though my heart misses those that
are no longer here
i feel so complete
of course i yearn for more
but at this moment
everything seems in place
my tranquility has killed the pain
 
January 23, 2009 - Friday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
i am one in this world
sitting in the green yellow grass
with the wind pulling my hair
my thoughts flying away
with the breeze that attacks my whole
eye witness the empty homes waiting still
for the ones they love
i am on with a pen and a notebook
i am only one in the gigantic world living another day
observing the creations that God and men made
i feel at ease with life
even though my heart misses those that
are no longer here
i feel so complete
of course i yearn for more
but at this moment
everything seems in place
my tranquility has killed the pain
 
January 9, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:chilling
Category: Writing and Poetry
inhale.. exhale.

with my shaky fingers i hold you again


evaluating life and its unknown turns


think..and puff.. think..and puff


ahh.. the sudden relief


the freedom of pain


the distraction and belief


it all seems unreal


and i breathe again


capturing the weapon of destruction to my agony


then i breathe out

 
releasing it all
 
the stress,
 
the pain,

the disgusting feelings that are trapped within


inhale.. exhale.


i begin to live again


the trauma disappears


but only momentarily


breathe it in... breathe it out


the smoke cleans the awful emotions


that invaded me


the long and slim soldier


fights the battle with me


instead of a tear watering down


smoke from my lungs yell out victory


the smoky air that leaves my body


sweeps the troubles that lived inside of me


think..and puff.. think..and puff.


my mind becomes clear


my heart no longer aches


the disgusting  feelings that were trapped within,


the pain,


the stress


it all slowly surrenders


to my one true friend


the long slim white object


that i hold with my shaky fingers


everything is killed


and a rebirth takes place


bringing joy and pleasure


and the only thing that i have to do


is


inhale..and..exhale.
January 9, 2009 - Friday 

Current mood:  geeky
Category: Writing and Poetry
who am i?

am i still me?

who will i,

end up to be,

in this long story?

will i become who i wish to be?

will i ever be truly happy?

and after life will i still be?

or will i vanish,

and become only history?

who am i?

who will i be?
January 4, 2009 - Sunday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
in the back I never knew that it would all end up adding up. the exciting and the depressing decisions and experiences. things were a struggle in the past before it became what I truly aimed for. the thoughts that should hve never crossed my mind usually crossed it.
December 20, 2008 - Saturday 

Current mood:  loved
Category: Writing and Poetry

yes i knew your name
yes i did not care
yes i know your name
yes i do care
no it never crossed my mind
no i never dreamed of you
no i never thought that you
no you would never own my heart
yes my heart is alone
yes without you im am extremely lost
yes you own my heart
no i never smiled for you before
no i never cried for you before
yes for you i would die of a happy heart attack
yes for you i would cry an infinity of tears
no i never thougth that you would teach me how to love
yes thanks to you i am in love
no i will not laugh if you leave forever
yes i will jump up and down and love you until the end

October 2, 2008 - Thursday 

Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Writing and Poetry

I stop and wish that life was really like a fairytale. Where exiting is not as easy as existing. A world that not many humans have encountered because in the real life there is so much negativity revolving around us. More malicious and ugly ambitions rather than true happiness and honest desires. I wish and wish, but I'm still here.
I wish that there was no drugs, no angry people wishing the worst, no witnessing your loved ones fade away, no horrible times in which you cry yourself to sleep, no tough situations where you usually take the easiest yet the wrong path, no headaches that convince on into hating themselves, no evil illnesses that hurt more than death, no innocent decisions that take you nowhere, no impossibility in achieving true love, no hungry people suffering each day as other dispose of food with zero care, no looking back into an awful past that has passed you by. I just wish but everything remains. It is all here haunting the bad aswell as the good.
I can't quite seem to understand why one must live to die, hurt before you heal and cry before you actually smile a relieving smile. But before I let our minds wander off to far, I will end this random thought that I am glad to share, with only one thing to say: "Be happy and always(no matter what) look forward in a bright and smiling way!"

March 25, 2008 - Tuesday 

Current mood:  breezy
Category: Writing and Poetry

i miss the people that i meet in my dreams
the smiley faces that those awesome strangers wear
the comfort that they surprise me with
i miss the the way that i unconsciously control their actions
i miss the warm friendships that i make
the fantasy land filled with tons of laughs
i miss the people that i meet in my dreams