In the replies of this blog, I will post the lyrics I've written of non-comedic, Christian-themed "parodies" of popular songs. (I searched dictionaries in vain for a word that means "a parody that's not supposed to be funny", so I just call them "rewrites")  They are published on another website, but since that site does not allow submitters to edit their songs, I thought I'd post some here that needed correcting for typos and minor theological ambiguities that needed clarification or replacing.

I once watched FIVE "Christian" music videos in a row without even hearing the word "Jesus" once!  All contemporary "Christian" songs I've ever heard fail to communicate the gospel.  So I thought I'd give it a try, even though some brethren believe that certain styles of music are inherently sinful.  Long-story-short: I agree with that to an extent, but after careful study (see "rock" music articles on www.av1611.org for example), it seems to me that over-generalization and miscategorization sometimes occurs with music styles and I believe in general, the songs I've chosen to rewrite do not have the qualities associated with a strict definition of fleshly "rock" music (ie. overemphasis on the beat, certain kinds of beats, etc.).  I am not an expert musician, but am judging by my biological and mental reactions to certain sounds.

I may write more on this topic at a later date, but for now, I see these songs as "experimental".

SURVEY FOR ATHEISTS, AGNOSTICS
& OTHER NON-CHRISTIANS:

These song rewrites are mainly an attempt to create songs that teach the Christian gospel plainly, because I think contemporary Christian musicians have failed miserably in that supposed effort.
Read the lyrics carefully.  You can read all the songs, or just the songs based on original songs that you have heard and like.  You may respond to individual songs, or multiple songs collectively.  Email me and tell me which song(s) you read, then I will email you 5 questions to answer. (I've decided to keep the questions a surprise so they don't taint your answers, and I'll keep the answers unpublished for the same reason.)

JOSEPH ("JOEY") DEARING
TESTIMONY
4-8-2007

They say every Christian should have a "testimony".  Well this is mine, plus a testimonial of why I believe the King James Bible is the word of God (the 2 subjects are intertwined for me).

Before I got saved, I was a selfish, arrogant, narcissistic, hedonistic, egomaniacal pervert with no conscience.  (But the sickest part was that I thought I was already saved!  That should tell you something about this church age.)  But after I finally got saved in 2003, I did a complete "180".  The difference between the old me and the new me is like night and day.  I'm truly disgusted and bewildered as I look back on my childhood.  2 Corinthians 5:17 says "if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."  I'm secure in my salvation because that verse is so visceral to me.  God really meant what he said.  I am NOT the same person anymore and it is very surreal to reminisce about the old me.  With the holy Spirit, I was immediately kinder and, for the first time, empathetic.  Everything about the way I think is now opposite of before.  (But this brings up an interesting sidebar on the importance of the Bible: Despite my changed condition, I hung on to some favorite sins and did some very stupid things for awhile after I was saved, because I didn't know the scriptures.  I was afraid to read the Bible because "ignorance is bliss" when it comes to "Thou shalt nots".  I did feel guilty about things that I never felt guilty about before, but I was in denial.  It was after I knew more of the scripture that I purged the residual spiritual garbage.  God gives you the zeal, and God's word tells you where specifically to direct it.  The Bible is our instruction manual.  It's nice to have a new something, and nicer if you know how to use it.)

But what led to my salvation?  It all started with a reluctant internet search for an explanation of dinosaurs' relationship to the Bible and their place in history.  This opened up the world of apologetics, which was a totally new concept to me.  Thanks to the liberal churches I grew up in, I had no idea there were actually REASONS to believe the Bible and EVIDENCE to support its historicity.  I found that the people who were best at apologetics, the most uncompromising, the strongest, the most Biblically literate and Biblically loyal, the people who had the sense to know you should actually TELL people the evidence for their faith, the only people that had the will and the ability to explain how I could get saved, were the people who are vilified and patronized by mainstream churches - those "crazy", "ignorant", "old-fashioned", "judgmental", "legalistic", "closed-minded", "bigoted" fundamentalists who have the "nerve" to raise their voices and tell people when they're sinning and tell people that they should only use one version of the Bible and tell people they have to believe everything in the Bible.  Well thank GOD those saints are not "educated", "modern", "tolerant", "open-minded" liberals, or I'd still be hell-bound today!  (Don't fool yourself; depending on the context, the words "Christian" and "fundamentalist" are SYNONYMOUS.  The word "fundamentalist" was invented as a distinction between real Christians and back-sliding compromisers.)

Ironically, the main reason I'm saved now is what I learned from Bible-believers showing me the differences between the bible versions.  You can't get saved until you understand the gospel, and I didn't understand the gospel until I read the King James verses.  But you say "That's just a coincidence; I can say the same thing about another version."  Well that's not even possible if you had read the KJV first.  I wanted to get quantifiable info for myself, so I compared all the verses that are important to understand to get saved with their counterparts in the new versions, and I found that as the versions moved farther away from formal equivalence, they had fewer and fewer of the salvation verses.  They were either removed entirely or were changed so drastically that they were rendered useless.  In hindsight, it makes perfect sense that in 20 years of going to liberal churches (who all used multiple bible versions), I can't remember a single time when I heard a preacher or sunday-school teacher explain how to get saved!!  Nor do I remember ever being told to read the Bible.  Talk about fodder for resentment!  How big is that pile of rotten "fruit"?! 

Of course there are plenty of other reasons why I believe the KJV.  For example, I know Jesus Christ is God, because only GOD could change me as much as Jesus Christ changed me.  Hence, when I see a supposed "bible" downplaying or denying the fact that Jesus is God, I know it cannot be God's word; not only from that logical reasoning, but from conscience and loyalty (the conviction of the holy Spirit and the zeal to get defensive [and offensive] at anyone or anything that would dare insult Jesus Christ).  In other words, the KJV's authenticity and superiority is obvious to any sane Christian who compares it with other versions.  It's a simple process of elimination.  It takes quite a bit of brainwashing to talk someone away from common sense (and "Christian sense").  Shame on the Christ-hating seminaries and their doctors of doom.

But back to my salvation: it's important to understand some details of my thought processes (some of which were surely influenced by God working on my heart).  The KJV clarified the sacrificial aspect and the power of Jesus' blood and the necessity of his deity (Clarified?  Who am I kiddin?  "Introduced" is more like it.  I knew nothing of these things until "King-James-Onlyists" showed up!).  But the turning point was when I actually realized for the first time that I was BAD and DESERVED eternal punishment, and Jesus was, in stark contrast, GOOD and selfless and so good and selfless that (here's the crowning revelation) he did willingly what nobody else would ever do; he died an excruciatingly slow painful humiliating death for us; and he didn't have to; he could have stopped the process at anytime and said "It's not worth it; I changed my mind; just let them all be damned, cuz I can't stand the pain," but he didn't; he suffered through it; and if Jesus Christ loves you that much, how can you not love him back?

Sometime in 2003, I remember lying in bed, and for the first time with sincerity and understanding of what I was saying, I prayed something like "God, I know I'm a sinner.  I know I deserve to go to hell.  Jesus, I believe you are the only begotten Son of God.  I believe you died for my sins on the cross and rose from the dead.  Please forgive all of my sins.  If I'm not saved, please save me.  Amen."  A couple weeks later I realized I was now saved, when it occurred to me that all of a sudden I was being selfless and caring for no apparent reason.  With the recent revelations about my off-the-charts selfishness, it was obvious that the new thoughts were not from my old mind, but the "mind of Christ" (1 Corinthians 2:16).

I like certain blogs to remain displayed in a certain order at the top of my profile, so to keep them from disappearing or rotating, instead of starting a new blog for every subject, I just add things to this miscellaneous blog.
____________________

3-27-2007
"close encounter"

I have a job at DFW airport.  About a month ago, I was standing next to a woman who was fiddling with her cell phone.  She asked me to help her cuz she didn't have her glasses or something.  When she looked through the numbers, I saw the name JOYCE MEYER.  I said, "You know Joyce Meyer??"  She not only didn't answer me, but she gave me a strange look, as if to say "You aren't supposed to know that."  It was a creepy moment.  Of course it could've just been a rude way of communicating "I'm sick of talking about how I know Joyce Meyers," but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if Joyce and her pals operated like the mafia.  I don't trust her any further than I can throw her.
 
http://www.deceptioninthechurch.com/word-faith.htmljmeyer
http://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Wolves/greedy.htm

Dr. Terry Watkins :

"Christianity is completely contrary to all other religions."

Gary Habermas, PhD :

"Christianity has the virtue of being better known than other faiths...in the West.  But...it is also the most misrepresented by the media."

Dr. J. Gresham Machen :

"The rejection of Christianity is due to various causes.  But a very potent cause is simple ignorance.  In countless cases, Christianity is rejected simply because men have not the slightest notion of what Christianity is."

Billy Sunday :

"Christianity is the only sympathetic religion that ever came into the world, for it is the only religion that ever came from God."

Dr. Benjamin Rush, a signer of the Declaration of Independence :

"...Christianity is the only true and perfect religion; and...in proportion as mankind adopt its principles and obey its precepts they will be wise and happy...  the Bible contains more knowledge necessary to man in his present state than any other book in the world."

Dr. George W. Truett :

"The one transcending inspiring influence in civilization is the Christian religion...  civilization without Christianity is doomed.  Let there be...no hesitation or apology for the insistence that the one hope for the individual, the one hope for society...is in the Christian religion."

R.A. Torrey :

"People say that Christianity is blind faith; not a bit of it.  Christianity is a rational faith that comes from honest, candid, close thought...  Men often say to me, 'I am not a Christian, because I think for myself.'  My dear friend, you are not a Christian because you don't think for yourself.  You don't think, and you know you don't...  You deliberately refuse to read every book that would make you think."

Dr. Sam Gipp : 

"...the Bible is like no other book."

Theodore Roosevelt :

"A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education."

Alexander Hamilton :

"I have carefully examined the evidences of the Christian religion, and if I were sitting as a juror upon its authenticity, I would unhesitatingly give my verdict in its favor."

Dwight  D. Eisenhower :

"Any stupid person can deny the existence of a supernatural power because man's physical senses cannot detect it.  But there cannot be ignored the influence of conscience, the respect we feel for the moral law...or the marvelous order in which the universe moves about us on this earth.  All these evidence the handiwork of the beneficent Deity... That Deity is the God of the Bible and Jesus Christ, His Son."

_______________________________

HOW DO WE KNOW GOD EXISTS ?

Design requires a designer.

Dr. Michael Denton :

"...even the simplest of all living systems...bacterial cells, are exceedingly complex objects.  Although...incredibly small... each is in effect a veritable micro-miniaturized factory containing thousands of exquisitely designed pieces of intricate molecular machinery... far more complicated than any machine built by man..."

www.creationevidence.org  (Carl Baugh, PhD) :

"...the incredible complexity in living systems and the structure of the universe...is beyond the possibility of natural development...  we can come to a scientific and logical conclusion that a Creator designed the universe, based on the evidence."

mathematics professor, kinesiologist  John Heffner :

"What is amazing to me is, we spend a lot of money listening in space for rudimentary coded signals.  'Dot, dot, dash, dot, dot, dash' would get headlines worldwide as 'evidence of intelligent life' and yet many scientists look at this incredible, complex code right here that is the DNA and say 'No intelligence did that.'  Ya know, that's a hard position to justify...   the evidence for creation is so strong, it's illogical to believe anything else.  No one would suggest that the clothes that we're wearing were not designed and put together by someone, or this building that we're in...  The vehicles we drive - designed, put together by someone.  And yet we are far more complex...and to deny the obvious is not only a leap in intellectual suicide, but it's a slap...in the Creator's face."

Psalms 14:1   "The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God."

Romans 1:20   "For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made... so that they are without excuse"

The creation itself is proof of a Creator.

Dr. Wernher von Braun :

"...as I became exposed to the law and order of the universe, I was... humbled by its unerring perfection...  They challenge science to prove the existence of God.  But must we really light a candle to see the sun?"

__________________________

WHAT ABOUT EVOLUTION ?

D.J. Futuyma, Science on Trial :

"Creation and evolution, between them, exhaust the possible explanations for the origin of living things.  Organisms either appeared on the earth fully developed or they did not.  If they did not, they must have developed from pre-existing species by some process of modification.  If they did appear in a fully developed state, they must have been created by some omnipotent intelligence."

Note that the following quotes cannot be attributed to bias, since most of the people quoted are or were at one time evolutionists.

H. Lipson,  Physics Bulletin :

''I think, however, that we must go further than this and admit that the only acceptable explanation is creation.  I know that this is anathema to physicists, as indeed it is to me, but we must not reject a theory that we do not like if the experimental evidence supports it.''

''In fact, evolution became in a sense a scientific religion; almost all scientists have accepted it and many are prepared to 'bend' their observations to fit in with it.''

In a letter to a Harvard professor, Charles Darwin himself wrote :

''I am quite conscious that my speculations run quite beyond the bounds of true science.''

in his book The Origin of Species, he wrote:

"To suppose that the eye, with all it's [complicated parts]...could have been formed by natural selection, seems, I freely confess, absurd in the highest degree."

mathematician  I. L. Cohen :

"...every single concept advanced by the theory of evolution...is imaginary as it is not supported by the scientifically established facts of microbiology, fossils, and mathematical probability concepts."

Professor Louis Bounoure :

''Evolutionism is a fairytale for grown-ups.  This theory has helped nothing in the progress of science.  It is useless.''

Dr. Michael Denton,  Evolution: a Theory in Crisis :

"A living cell is so awesomely complex that its interdependent components stagger the imagination and defy evolutionary explanations.  A minimal cell contains over 60,000 proteins of 100 different configurations."

Wolfgang Smith, PhD :

"On the fundamental level it becomes a rigorously demonstrable fact that there are no transitional types, and the so-called missing links are indeed non-existent."

"...the fact remains that there exists to this day not a shred of bona fide scientific evidence in support of the thesis that macro-evolutionary transformations have ever occurred."

"...a growing number of respectable scientists are defecting from the evolutionist camp.  It is interesting, moreover, that for the most part these experts have abandoned Darwinism, not on the basis of religious faith or biblical persuasions, but on strictly scientific grounds, and in some instances regretfully..."

Scott Huse, PhD, The Collapse of Evolution :

"The irony of this whole situation is that the very concept of organic evolution is completely absurd and impossible.  It is absolutely aston-ishing that an idea that is so devoid of any legitimate scientific evidence could have attained a position of such prestige in the name of science!"

physiologist  Dr. T. N. Tahmisian :

"Scientists who go about teaching that evolution is a fact of life are great con-men, and the story they are telling may be the greatest hoax ever.  In explaining evolution, we do not have one iota of fact."

Dr. Charles Jackson :

"[Evolution is] bad science.  It's pseudo-science.  It's just filled with presupposed ideas, people not willing to give up their favorite pet theories.  People's reputations, their livelihoods, their tenure and funding...and [for] many of them, their ego and self-esteem and even their world-view is all tied up in evolution.  There's a lot at stake for people who are fighting for evolution to be the only paradigm taught in schools...  As a teacher...I think it's unfair...  As a scientist, I think it's just bad thinking period...  The evolutionists will tell you no scientists believe in creation and disbelieve evolution, but...there's an estimated 10,000 of us...  The inventor of the MRI is a creationist...  There's no compelling scientific reason not to believe that the Creator ...created the earth in six days about 6000 years ago."

botanist  E.J.H. Corner :

"To the unprejudiced, the fossil record of plants is in favor of special creation."

Patrick Briney, PhD :

"Creation Science is the best explanation for the origin of the universe, life, and species."

Dr. Colin Patterson :

"One of the reasons I started taking this anti-evolutionary view, was...it struck me that I had been working on this stuff for twenty years and there was not one thing I knew about it.  That's quite a shock to learn that one can be so misled so long... so for the last few weeks I've tried putting a simple question to various people... 'Can you tell me anything you know about evolution, any one thing that is true?'  I tried that question on the geology staff at the Field Museum of Natural History and the only answer I got was silence.  I tried it on the members of the Evolutionary Morphology Seminar in the University of Chicago, a very prestigious body of evolutionists, and all I got there was silence for a long time and eventually one person said, 'I do know one thing - it ought not to be taught in high school'."

John D. Morris, PhD, The Young Earth :

"The laws of statistics show that favorable mutations are so improbable that they will most likely never even happen once in twenty billion years, let alone happen millions of times.  The laws of science absolutely preclude evolution, pointing towards degradation of life's complex systems, and not toward evolutionary integration."

Joseph Mastropaolo, PhD :

"I was an evolutionist for most of my life...  I consider that the greatest betrayal of my entire educational career...   evolution is not science.  It may have been portrayed that way recently on PBS, but it is not science.  It actually is anti-science...    evolution is a sham...   we are devolving."

Edward Boudreaux, PhD :

"I started...looking into the published literature...and to my amazement... I could not find legitimate, scientific, credible evidence that supported evolution.  [Just] suppositions, presumptions, [and] conjectures that were knitted together to form a framework of a concept.  I wouldn't even give evolution the title of a 'theory' or even a hypothesis."

from  Dr. David Plaisted's  website [ www.cs.unc.edu/~plaisted/ce ] :

"Dr. Colin Patterson, a paleontologist, realized that amino acid sequences in near-relatives on the phylogenic tree would be expected to show close correlation, according to evolutionary theory...  To Patterson, this was a great opportunity to test the theory.  The results: absolutely no correlation between similarity of sequences and nearness on the evolutionary tree.  Patterson, in a speech given Nov. 5, 1981 before other evolutionists, pointed out to a stunned audience that the new data on amino acid sequences contradicts the theory of evolution.  He said, 'The theory makes a prediction; we've tested it, and the prediction is falsified precisely...  evolution not only conveys no knowledge but seems somehow to convey anti-knowledge'..."

"The evidence obtained from the Human Genome Project indicates that a genetic mutation of as little as 0.0000001% of an animal's genome is fatal...  Obviously there is no way to bridge even a small genetic gap in animal species by random genetic changes.  Quantitative genetic information from the Human Genome Project is proving the theory of evolution to be the most irrational belief ever held by mankind.  Individual species had to be assembled separately in the genetic code by an intelligent being whose electrical and chemical engineering technology is vastly superior to ours.  The only word for such intelligence is GOD."

www.drdino.com     www.sixdaycreation.com     www.creationscience.com

___________________________________________________________

HOW DO WE KNOW JESUS CHRIST REALLY IS DEITY

AND WHY SHOULD WE TRUST THE BIBLE ?

About the same number of people who saw Jesus alive after he was killed were in Ford's Theater when Abraham Lincoln was assassinated - No one today denies that happened!)

from Evidence That Demands a Verdict  by Josh McDowell : 

"Several tests for the reliability and accuracy of a piece of literature...are applied to the Scriptures and then a comparison is made between the historicity of the Bible and classical literature.  The logical conclusion based on evidence is that if one rejects the Bible as being reliable, then, if he is consistent and uses the same tests, he must throw out all classical literature and disregard their historical testimony." 

Dr. Peter Ruckman :

"The gospel accounts of the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ are well-known to all...  We will observe that 500 witnesses saw His post-resurrection appearance and reduced their testimony to writing.  The 'laws of credibility of a witness' (in an inquiry for fact) state that it depends firstly, on the opportunity the witness had for observing the fact to which he testifies.  Secondly, the laws of evidence state that where the testimony of an eyewitness is reduced to writing, and is unrefuted in his own generation, it is fixed for all future time, and his testimony cannot be set aside or questioned, unless new and conclusive evidence is discovered...  By these laws of American jurisprudence, it is seen at once, that the scholars who do not believe in the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ are guilty of contempt of court..."

The resurrection of Jesus is one of the most well-established historical facts there is.  The only difference is, since it has religious implications, there are many people who don't want  to believe it.

John W. Montgomery, PhD :

"...miracles are impossible only if one so defines them - but such definition rules out proper historical investigation."

Michael Brown, PhD :

"Jesus is the Messiah...and the Saviour of the world.  Case closed."

Dr. Terry Watkins :

"The greatest fact in all of history is the divinity of Jesus Christ.  Even our dating system (A.D. is the Latin 'Anno Domini' which means 'in the year of Our Lord' and B.C. stands for 'Before Christ') echoes His divinity ...The book A Dictionary of Early Christian Beliefs by David Bercot documents over 390 selections from the early church fathers, all before AD 325, confirming the divinity of Jesus Christ...  Only the intentionally self-induced deaf, dumb and blind...could miss it...

The evidence for the reliability of the Bible easily ranks as history's greatest marvels.  The evidence for the Bible is so vast, and so reliable, it can only be attributed to a supernatural, sovereign Hand.  There exist over 6,000 Greek manuscripts of the New Testament.  The next work of antiquity is Homer's Iliad with 650 manuscripts, while most ancient works number in the single digits."

Consider the Hebrew Bible Codes, which scientifically prove divine authorship.   { www.av1611.org/genesis.html }

Statistical Science, August 1994, p.434 :

"We conclude that the proximity of ELS's (Equidistant Letter Sequences) with related meanings in the Book of Genesis is not due to chance."

Biblical Review, October 1995, p.45 :

"The phenomenon cannot be attributed to anything within the known physical universe, human beings included."

Read the book "By Divine Order" by Michael Hoggard, which examines the miraculous numerical patterns in the English Bible (KJV) that prove it also is divinely inspired.   { www.avpublications.com }

free online Bible :  www.justbible.com