I feel like some days I walking in through a dream and at any moment I'll wake up and everything will be loud, insanely loud music burning through my ears, carrying me like a drunk on the shoulders of friends...

---------------------

when it seems like everything is perfect, when I've gotten everything I've wanted...loving friends and family, why do I still feel this vast emptiness in my center...

is it that I lack the presence of God? or Religion, or some physical malady as would be defined by Science

and am I alone in the way I feel?  I feel like some sort of carbon copy, like a tiny blip on a screen. 

is it guilt that drives me to want to pursue some subliminized ideal of good?

There are certain moments I feel the way I do and usually after a short time I turn away from these questions. 

you have no idea how much of a prick I am...I'm sorry.   

A lot has changed throughout these past couple of years.  I've fallen in love and cut down on partying and concentrating more on music and what I want to do with the rest of my days.  I've been back and forth between California and New York, playing a couple shows here and there, but mostly spending time with family over there.  I am a proud uncle to a beautiful baby boy. 

Spending time with the little guy has put a lot into perspective, it's made me realize that there is more to life than just music and now I'm taking time to enjoy life with my girl and my family and friends.  Although sometimes I miss the days of couch surfing and late night party sessions, it doesn't beat coming home to a cluttered apartment and a comfy bed.  I'm still gigging, still playing, but now I just have a lot more to be thankful about.

Much Love, One Love,

Nam

He walked around the stage, trying to soak in all that he could. He had acted in several plays, always a major role, but a few days ago he earned the lead role of in a brand new play by one of the worlds most renown playwrights. It was an opportunity of a lifetime, one that would bring him fame beyond his wildest dreams. He received a copy of the script last night and after reading it, he made plans to come to the theater and prepare himself mentally for the role. He stopped and stood center-stage, glancing out at his would be public. He closed his eyes and pictured the applause and adulation of his audience and peers, they would be astounded he told himself. He let his mind wander and a single question came to mind.

"How does one embody destruction? Destruction is a creation. Destruction is also the annihilation of something that has been created. Therefore, creation must be destructive as well."

He thought about the big bang theory and how all life was created from something destructive. He thought about women who were raped and became impregnated. He remembered how lightning could set a forest on fire and revitalize the soil. He did not think about the right or wrong. He did all he could to remain impartial to all the scenes his mind played for him, hoping that he could figure out how he could become a pure destructive force.

And then another question came to his mind wiping away his previous thoughts like a clean slate..."Can I create the destruction in me?"

Someone answered, "Yes you can."

Firefighters had spent all night fighting the flames in the theater. The police could not detect the cause of the fire. Newspapers changed their front page to tell the story of the freak fire that burned down the theater and claimed the life of an up and coming actor.

Been Thinking About You
..

Written by Radiohead

Been thinking about you
Your records a hit
Your eyes are on my wall
Your teeth are over there
But I’m still no one
And you’re my star
What do you care?

Been thinking about you
And there’s no rest
Should I still love you
Still see you in bed
But I’m playing with myself
What do you care?
When the other men are far far better

All the things you’ve got
All the things you need
Who bought you cigarettes
Who bribed the company to come and see you honey?

I’ve been thinking about you
So how can you sleep
These people aren’t your friends
They’re paid to kiss your feet
They don’t know what I know
And why should you care
When I’m not there

Been thinking about you
And there’s no rest
Should I still love you
Still see you in bed
But I’m playing with myself
What do you care?
When I’m not there.

I’ve been thinking about you
So how can you sleep
These people aren’t you’re friends
They pay to kiss your feet
But they don’t know what I know
What do you care?
When I’m not there.

All the things you’ve got
That you’ll never need
All the things you’ve got
I’ve bled and I’d bleed to please you
... honey

Been thinking about you..

Saigon Baby


Lyrics

"Saigon Baby"

Written/Composed by Nam Ninja

My baby she came from Saigon
Left her family, heart was broken
She studied and worked in America
Where I fell in love with her.

In the beginning, people treated her bad
Sometimes Americans are such a drag
Some of them don’t like foreigners
They didn’t know what she had gone through

We met each other in College
She was still speaking broken english
She had the most beautiful brown eyes
Thoughts of her family always made her cry

My beautiful Saigon girl
Pretend the world is yours

I know you miss your mom and dad
And all your brothers and sisters
And though the War split Vietnam apart
You’ll always have a place in my heart

My Saigon Girl
Pretend the whole world is yours

Hi,

I just signed an urgent petition calling on the Chinese government to respect human rights in Tibet and dialogue with the Dalai Lama. This is really important, and I thought you might want to take action:

http://www.avaaz.org/en/tibet_end_the_violence/98.php/?CLICK_TF_TRACK

After nearly 50 years of Chinese rule, the Tibetans are sending out a global cry for change. Violence is spreading across Tibet and neighbouring regions, and the Chinese regime is right now making a crucial choice between tougher crackdown or dialogue.

President Hu Jintao needs to hear that "Made in China" exports and the upcoming Olympics in Beijing will have the support of the world’s people only if he chooses dialogue. But it will take an avalanche of global people power to get his attention. Click below to sign the petition - in just 3 days, the campaign is almost half way to the goal of 1 million signatures!

http://www.avaaz.org/en/tibet_end_the_violence/98.php/?CLICK_TF_TRACK

Thank you so much for your help - forward this email to friends!

A tribute to my friends and fans across the universe <3

Thanks!! Much Love!!

With a Little Help From My Friends
..

Ok so most of you are wanting to know the result of the Orange County Music Awards...

The Bad News is,


The Winner is NOT announced until MARCH 29th at the Awards Ceremony at the Grove in Anaheim

Tickets are on sale for $20, but it would suck if you went to support me and I lost.


The Good News,

We had the LARGEST CROWD packed into the Gypsy Den and according to my friend, everyone left after I got off stage.  So I've already won the hearts of Orange County People.


Interesting News,

If I do win, I think it is safe to say i will be the first Vietnamese Kid to win...I should have said that at the performance...I hate racial boundaries, you know me...


Thanks again for your support and letters,

Much Love, One Love,

Nam Ninja

To my Lovely Ninjas and Ninjettes...

Yesterday officially became one of the most memorable nights in my life...symbolically a kind of turning point, as it is a reminder that I will no longer be known as a solo musician for much longer.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH

To OCMA for providing me a space to unleash, to all my friends and fans who came out to support.

I don't want to say that I've sealed the the victory, (cuz I hate being overconfident) but I hope that the OCMA and I made it worth your while to come out even if I don't win. YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME, YOU MADE SO MUCH NOISE, I was like DAMN.

As great as I aspire to be...it is people like you, who provide artists a home to play and who come out to the shows, who yell, scream, and laugh...without you, I would not know who I am...

Damn...that 15 minutes seems like forever when you are up there...then so short as it's winding down...so much energy compacted into a this singular moment...

Thanks for the smiles, your kind words, your spirit, your presence, for just being alive!!

I love you all!!

Nam Ninja

(here are some clips taken from this really chill dude I met yesterday)

A Love So True (Demo)

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A Love So True
(by Nam Ninja)

Oh how I love to see you smile
So won't you stay for a while?
We can dance in the living room
A love so true
And even though she broke my heart
I don't care if my friends, they will talk
I just want you here and now
A love so true

(a love so)
Damn you looking good 2nite
Love the way you smell real nice
Dancing close cheek to cheek
Hips together feel the heat
Have another drink and darling I will make you mine
Yes I'm trying to get you drunk so that you will unwind
Then get undressed and spend the night with me 2nite
Cuz you make me forget about her
And I know you don't want to feel like you're some sort of accessory
And wake up feeling used cuz you spent the night in bed with me
It's true I loved this girl and it's my heart that she severed
But then I met you here and you put it back together
Please understand
I loved you at first glance
Fate gave us a chance
Don't think just dance
Take a chance on us

Oh how I love to see you smile
So won't you stay for awhile?
Dancing in the living room
A love so true
And even though she broke my heart
I don't care if the others will talk
I just want you here and now
A love so true

And I know that we hardly know each other
But somehow we were brought together
Let's just live for now, it'll last forever
You're such a dork that's why I adore you
I know you like me too
What would we do if neither one were here?
because You're so beautiful
Your soul's beautiful
I've fallen in love with you…

Oh how I love to see you smile
So won't you stay for awhile?
Dancing in the living room
A love so true
And even though she broke my heart
I don't care if the other girls will talk
I just want you here and now
A love so true

In the Dark (Demo)

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In the Dark



(Written by Nam Ninja)



Never even try I can only live or die

Should I run away tell me I should stay with you tonight

He is drawing blood drawing til the casket drops

If I said goodbye I could only try to smile



It would be a shame if you didn't know my name



Moving with the wind so it's always cold at night

What if I hold on? I'm just way too tired to think

She cuts out her heart and serves it to everyone

Dancing in the dark alone with you is so much fun



It would be a shame if you didn't know my name



We're in the dark



Meet you when I can your eyes say you understand

You look all around you look everywhere but here

She cuts out her heart, he'll draw til the casket drops

The feeling is so strong but only when we're gone…



It would be a shame if you didn't know my name



We're in the dark

Hello my lovely Ninjas,

This is going to be one of my last letters as a solo musician...there will be 3-5 more newsletters (not including random reminders) before I stop going solo.

I've been performing around Orange County for 3 years, I've been in 2 contests, just this last New Year and the before. I made it to the finals as some of you know in these Asian music/talent contests.

I'm virtually, a nobody, hence this whole Ninja philosophy, but somehow I am good enough to be a contender...

I'm a finalist once again, in the Orange County Music Awards. I am one of the nominees for best live acoustic.
The finals will be held at Gypsy Den in Santa Ana, Sunday March 9, 2008

I don't want to get my hopes up for a 3rd time...it's always been about getting real sets and getting to play cool venues with a decent amount of time. I like the OCMA people, because they are surprisingly chill, its not like it was 2 years ago when everyone thought I would suck cuz I was Asian, nowadays the average American is more accepting, they understand my lyrics and content and don't make me feel ashamed of what I'm singing, because I'm not Asian enough or Vietnamese enough cuz I can't speak Vietnamese. They let me express myself as I am and I appreciate that. I dunno if they'll think I'm not American looking enough...I can't hide the fact that I'm Asian...but I'm happy to have a place to play. I don't enter these contest to win, I just want to play, winning is bonus, being a finalist is a bonus, but it's nothing without my dignity, it's nothing if I can't be who I am, whether the average person accepts it or not...

I hate this solo shit...As some of you know, I've been playing with a new drummer, Gia, and we're picking up a new bassist. Soon you'll stop getting these emails from me and instead from us.

We're gonna be called The Shinobies.

I feel excited about this band, I'm not gonna release another solo album. I've always hated this having to try and fit into this stereotype of a musician whose supposed to be a good business person and talking to the audience and projecting this fake kind of humility. I'm happy that I'll have friends by my side so I don't have to deal with things on my own and deal with fake ass people who want to use me. I guess that's why I've always been anti social and monk like.

Some people just do things differently...and I'm just awkward, and I've finally found people who I can vibe with. There are so many fake copy cat people out there. I have no regrets about anything anymore, these last few years have brought a lot of macho or stupid assholes to my door, but also it's brought a lot of cool people.

It's people like you, even if we've only spoken for a few moments, that has made it worth it, and helped me to figure what sort of person I am. I know musicians aren't supposed to get this personal or emotional to their fans, but you've know I've been that way and I just want to say again, thanks sticking around and I hope you will check out a Shinobies show in the future.

My last solo show is in April at Vascon in Washington DC. I'll let you know more when that date approaches.


Much Love, One Love,

Nam Ninja
(www.myspace.com/nam)

3rd Annual Now Film Festival -Wk 19 Finalist - City Paradise

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