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Jeff Ivins


Last Updated: 11/17/2009

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Tuesday 07/07/2009 

Category: Life
Some rules that need to be in play..

1) On the day of a gay wedding, it's bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.

2) Superstition suggests that, for good luck, the couple should have: Something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty.

3) It's customary, at gay and lesbian nuptials, for the parents to have an open bar during the entire ceremony.

4) Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating any of the wedding cake because it's all carbs and sugar.

5) It's considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.

6) During the first dance, it's considered unlucky to use glow sticks, flags, whistles or hand held lasers.

7) For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival.

8) The reception hall must have a disco ball and at least one go-go dancer.

9) The wedding singer is not allowed to play/sing Let's Hear It For the Boy, It's Raining Men, or I Will Survive.

10) The father of the Bottom has to pay for everything!
Friday 26/06/2009 

Category: Life
Personally I could careless that the so-called King Of Pop died. He never did anything for me musically and his off stage actions (weither aquitted or not) were just sickening. So what he was "famous" at a young age that may have lead to his strange ways, there are others who were famous at a young age and grew up into decent human beings.
Wednesday 11/03/2009 

Current mood:  apathetic
Category: Life
Thanx ~M@GISTR@~ For This:

"I have come across this topic one too many times....

Most young or new Satanists come to realize that most family and friends do not approve or understand your interest in Satanism.

You do owe them a degree of consideration especially if you are living under their roof. Help them understand -- offer to let them read your books/resources, talk about what misunderstandings they may have from TV/Media and Christian propaganda. You may want to perform your magick/rituals in private for now. You can't force anyone to understand what, for you, is an obvious and magikal revelation.

It is understandable that you are enthusiastic about your new-found religion, but it is not very Satanic to make yourself miserable by creating a problem with your family/friends when you have to live in the same house together, or at school where your real goal may be to aggravate those in authority in the guise of "expressing your individuality".

Remember that a competent Satanic magician should be able to size up any situation and weigh his choices of action to bring about desired results. Enthusiasm is certainly encouraged and appreciated, however Satanism asks no one to be a martyr!! Keep in mind that most people simply aren't going to understand because, ultimately, they don't want to. This doesn't mean that you cannot care about those that are close to you -- Satan also represents love, kindness and respect TO THOSE WHO DESERVE IT.

Revel in your uniqueness; be proud of who and what you are. Achieve all you can with the strength and determination of Satan himself coursing proudly through your veins. When Satanism leads to positive changes in your accomplishments and attitude, your family/friends will notice.

The best way you can represent Satanism, at any age, is by providing a living example of how the diabolical arts have made you a stronger, more focused, joyful person. The results will speak louder than any logical argument you can present....."....
Currently listening:
Watershed
By Opeth
Release date: 2008-06-03
Sunday 01/02/2009 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Romance and Relationships
My wife sat down on the sofa next to me as I was changing channels. She asked, 'What's on the TV?'  
I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started...  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
 
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our next anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.' 
I bought her a set of scales... And then the fight started... 
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
 
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her some place expensive... so, I took her to a petrol station. And then the fight started... 
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
 
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. 
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. 
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your trousers. You might have received disability allowance too.' 
And then the fight started... 
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
 
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. 
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 
'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' 
And then the fight started... 
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
 
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the rib-eye steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" "Nah, she can order for herself." 
And then the fight started... 
 
--------------------------------- 
 
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. 
I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, ' Well your eyesight's near perfect.' 
And then the fight started..... 
 
------------------------------------ 
 
I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Stella for £14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for £7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream would. 
And then the fight started.... 
 
-------------------------------------------- 
 
My wife asked me if a certain dress made her bum look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday and then the fight started...... 
 
--------------------------------------------- 
 
A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!' So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go. 
A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!' 
The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?' 
And then the fight started..... 
 
---------------------------------------------------- 
 
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the trailer to the car, and proceeded to reverse out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. 
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. 
I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' 
My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' 
And then the fight started .... 
 
--------------------------------------------------- 
 
I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" 
And that's when the fight started..... 
 
--------------------------------------------- - - - 
 
My wife and I are watching ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" 
"No," she answered. 
I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." 
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started.... 
 
-------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't work, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the car, e-mail, golf,  fishing, always something more important to me. 
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. 
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush. 
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.' 
And that's when the fight started...

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Once a MARINE always a MARINE On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her 
wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired MARINE, and asked, "Honey, do you remember this?" 
He looked up from his newspaper and said; "Yes dear, I do. 
You wore that same negligee the night we were married" 
She said, "Yes, that's right. Do you remember what you said to me that night?" 
He nodded and said "Yes dear, I said; Oh baby, I'm going to suck the life out of those boobs and screw your brains out." 
She giggled and said; "That's exactly what you said. So now it's fifty years later, and I'm in the same negligee. What do you have to say tonight?" 
He looked her up and down and said;
 
" Mission Accomplished." 
 
And then the fight started 
Currently listening:
Watershed
By Opeth
Release date: 2008-06-03
Sunday 18/01/2009 

Current mood:  cold
Category: Music
There is two concerts that I will be attending in March.. Both shows will be at The Local, inside Sidelines Bar & Sports Grille. I will be taking photos of both concerts and posting them on my new domain: Au Naturel Productions

The first one is for a local Atlanta band called Low Down.. It is their CD release party, March 7th 2009.. I will be doing a Braingell Radio T-Shirt Giveaway during the show.

The second one is for major act EverGrey on March 12th 2009.. They will be having A Lower Deep open for them that night..
Currently listening:
Get Heavy
By Lordi
Release date: 2003-02-24
Monday 05/01/2009 

Category: Life
A memorial service was held Sunday for Majel Barrett Roddenberry, the actress who played Nurse Chapel on the Star Trek television series and wife of the late 'Trek' creator Gene Roddenberry.

The memorial service is scheduled for 10 a.m. at Forest Lawn Hollywood and is open to the public.

Roddenberry died of leukemia at her home in Bel Air on Dec. 18 at the age of 76. Her son Eugene 'Rod' Roddenberry was at her side.

Majel Barrett Roddenberry began her acting career in the 1950s,  appearing on shows such as "Bonanza," "The Untouchables" and "The Lucy Show."

However, she became a cult favorite on the original "Star Trek" series  as Nurse Christine Chapel, the soft-spoken USS Enterprise medical assistant  who harbored a usually unspoken, unrequited love for Leonard Nimoy's Vulcan  character, Mr. Spock.

Avid "Trek" fans also knew her as the female voice of the Enterprise  computer in virtually every television and movie incarnation of the series. She  also voiced the ship's computer in the latest "Star Trek" film, which is scheduled to be released May 8.

Gene Roddenberry was dating Barrett when he cast her in the original  pilot episode of "Star Trek" as the Enterprise's first officer, with her  character known only as Number One. The pilot featured actor Jeffrey Hunter as Enterprise Capt. Christopher Pike and a young Nimoy as Spock.

Most of the crew was re-cast after the pilot episode, with William  Shatner coming aboard as Capt. James T. Kirk. The Number One character was  eliminated, and Barrett took on the role of Nurse Chapel -- along with ship's  computer voice.

She and Gene Roddenberry were married on Aug. 6, 1969, shortly after NBC  canceled the original series, earning her the title of "First Lady of Star Trek" among many Trekkies.

Gene Roddenberry died in 1991.

"Over the course of their more-than quarter-century love affair, she  became not only Gene's partner, but also his creative muse," according to a  family statement. "(Majel) Roddenberry helped Gene expand the 'Star Trek'  universe and was an integral part of its continued legacy after his death."

Roddenberry is survived by her son, Eugene.

According to the family, donations in Roddenberry's memory can be sent  to Precious Paws, 18034 Ventura Blvd., Suite. 430, Encino, 91316; or C.A.R.E., Post Office Box 56631, Sherman Oaks, 91403.

KTLA News Story

Saturday 03/01/2009 

Current mood:  apathetic
Category: Religion and Philosophy
10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.
 
9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.
 
8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.
 
7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!
 
6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.
 
5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.
 
4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering.  And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

 
3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.
 
2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers.  You consider that to be evidence that prayer works.  And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.
 
1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.


http://www.evilbible.com/Top_Ten_List.htm
Sunday 14/12/2008 

Current mood:  amused
Found thins on Factcheck.org's web site:

"We saw more aggressive fact-checking by journalists in this election than ever before. Unfortunately, as a post-election Annenberg Public Policy Center poll confirms, millions of voters were bamboozled anyway."

The entire article can be found at Factcheck: Our Disinformed Electorate
Currently listening:
Sacrament
By Lamb of God
Release date: 2006-08-22
Thursday 11/12/2008 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Life
Unconditional love for the child
Unconditional aid and support
Strength of mind and health of body
Education and intelligence
Unconditional grace for the child

Without these, any parenthood is useless, and the parent uncaring. The basis for the mental health of a child is to know that they are loved, cared for and supported, even when they seriously err.

I could go on (by example) to note that Satanists respect free will and the nature of the free spirit of man and will actively not encourage their child to be the same religion as the parent. By that token, the child is not forced away, or to, religion, the child's choice in these matters is more important than the dogmatic principle of anti religion.

Satanists do not feel that children should be forced to study theology...Satanic or otherwise. Children, it is believed, should be free to explore their imagination and possibilities and talents sans pie-in-the-sky rewards or under the threat of divine punishment

Another important factor in parenting is dealing with external influences, such as school. Your kids will be exposed to the propaganda of spirituality whether or not you want them to be. Accept it. Just know that you can only explain that different cultures or people have different customs and views and that while some may belive in X or Y, that you personally embrace the Third Side notion of Z. You are their Mom or Dad...they will automatically listen to your counsel in these matters and be able to draw from your wisdom as they grow and face these questions as individuals. Ultimately, religion is a personal choice and decision...even to be an atheist. All we can do as parents is prepare our young with choices and information. Let them know how we feel and then lead by example.

And, as any fool should know when addressing any parenting issue: Let them know they are unconditionally loved, make time for them as best you can, and keep the lines of communication open. The potential is staggering. The rewards are grand. The time is now.
It is the Age of Fire! Hail to the Iron Youth: You are our future!"
Wednesday 10/12/2008 

Category: Parties and Nightlife
I will not personally attending, but want to get the word out about it..

http://www.allornothingtattoo.com/index.php?sub=test4http://www.allornothingtattoo.com/index.php?sub=greatpitball"VICKtory to the Underdog" red carpet movie premiere, art show, multi course gourmet meal prepared by the nations top chefs, celebrity poker tournament, and huge benefit concert.Located at the Hard Rock Casino in Las Vegas Nevada!Packages available for the entire weekend!This will be a star studded celebrity event open to the public!Tickets will be made available at http://www.ticketmaster.comWhen Contacting the Hard Rock Hotel, Let them know you are calling for THE GREAT PIT BALL!!!http://www.hardrockhotel.comALL ARTISTS! DO YOU WANT TO DONATE YOUR ARTWORK, PAINTINGS,SCULPTURES, DRAWINGS AND MORE TO THE ART SHOW AT THE HARD ROCK CASINO IN VEGAS!!!!!The art show will be covered by multiple magazines,animal planet, e! ,and food network All work must be framed and must be ready to hang when you send them.Please Send all artwork to :Amy WittleSpecial Events - Food and BeverageHard Rock Hotel and Casino4455 Paradise Road#329Las Vegas, NV 89169The art show will be covered by multiple magazines,animal planet, e! ,and food network
ALL ARTWORK MUST BE RECEIVED BY MARCH 11,2009!




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VICKtory to the Underdog, Hell and Back

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