Since coming back from the last trip, I have been doing the ususal - playing catch up with work & emails....  taking little breaks by going swimming or running.....  bitching about TAIWAN's moody weather...  and most especially, pondering over my life....  now and again I do get this way.....

Growing up in the US taught me INDEPENDANCE -- and even though I traveled a lot,  I have always thought in the back of my mind that it IS where I would grow old and, even die...  but the last trip in MANILA made me re-evaluate things.... Being back in Manila ... living on my own for the very first time made me feel so good...  like I have come full circle, finally...    all the other times I had been there, as much as I love being with my family, I always could not wait to go back to Taiwan or the US....  in my own space -- where I can be FREE and live my way of life....  having bought my own CONDO, I was finally able to do my own things...  rediscover MANILA and the Philippine way of life....  was able to go eat on my own...  take public transportations (instead of always being driven around)...   keep my own schedule and move about on my own - instead of being surrounded by not just family, but all the Ates and Kuyas....  so for the first time after all the returned visits - I gained my INDEPENDANCE....  and I Love It!   I still saw my family and hung out with them...  but finally I was living the LIFE I would like to haTempve in Manila....  and it TRULY made me look forward to my next visit more....  even made me contemplate on taking some time off (3 months perhaps) and live in Manila....  so who knows....

Life has been like a rollercoaster ride for me lately....  these last year in fact...  since my Dad's passing almost 1 year ago (July 19th, 2006)...  i see my MOM getting older and wish to be able to spend more time with her....  hearing her tell us stories about our childhood makes me long for the good old days where I was just a little kid with no care in the world... as she tells it, I was a very happy kid - always smiling and loving life to the fullest....  

For most, I still am a very happy individual....  not letting all of life's travails get me down....  just going with the flow....  believing in "NO REGRETS", people's kindness, and trying to see something good and beautiful in everyone and everything....  Temptations come and go, as do triumps and failures; sorrows and happiness; family, friends, lovers...  through it all I try to be good, honest and respectful... and hope the same of others.... 

so I leave with this song that fully describes what am feeling  at this time in my life:

That I Would Be Good   Alanis Morisette

(SIMPLE, YET AMAZING WORDS TO LIVE BY!!!)

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you

Yep....  am back in Taiwan....  the flight with CEBU Pacific was just too long... we were sitting on the runway inside the plane for over an hour before we could take off... it seems that President Arroyo's flight departure was holding up everyone else's....   For a President - she should really make a good example by not following "FILIPINO TIME" and being PUNCTUAL!!!

Anyway, not sure if I will ever take CEBU, Pacific again....   the plane was small....  no food...well, you have to buy but the selection leaves lots to be desired....  I did ENJOY their little games where a few handfuls gets to take home some useless/unwanted things... ha ha ha... but all in the name of FUN!!!  and their "BENCH" uniforms are just too casual and too cute....  so FILIPINO!

So am not sure what am feeling now....  so much of me is left in MANILA....  it is so sad...  more and more I leave myself there...  departures becomes too sad....  and trying....   and as soon as the plane takes off -- I already start missing my family, my CONDO and friends.... and not knowing when I will be back again makes it doubly sad...  

oh well...   As always, all I can do is DEAL....  am not rich enough to just stay and settle down there -- as much as I think it would be nice....  would not even know where to begin to support myself...  so I thread on... and on... and on....  and hopes that one day I will get to settle down for a bit....  enjoy life there... and revisit and re-experience all that I love about Manila and its Provincial cities....

For now I take refuge and comfort through work....  as I know I have so much to catch up on before leaving again for the USA at the end of the month... so here's hoping time will fly right by.....

well, am sure glad this week is over....  it was one of those weeks where everything is just too confusing....  full of emotions....  and just plain CRAZY!!!

As am leaving for a two week trip tomorrow, I had quite a lof ot things to do -- to get done so as to make sure all will be running smoothly during my absence...  daily general life, as well as,  work matters....  

At times, am so troubled as it never fails, just when things are already too much -- life brings more disappointments, confusions and distractions....  so I do what I do BEST --  roll up my sleeves and do the BEST I can....  try to deal with all that I can ... and most of all, try not to let anything stress me out.....  work wise am always pretty good at handling things.....  but somehow - PERSONAL LIFE  always poses a bigger challenge....  family, friends, and love life....  oh well... just go with the flow I always say....  and all will turn out the way they should and are meant to in the end....

So,  my only real break this week was getting this whole My Space going... as I was able to take little breaks and do something fun....and in a way, productive.....  and through it all, am so EXCITED to meet some really nice  people....  am alway GLAD to meet new people and share views on life and other things (deep or mundane - it is all welcome!) and a few laughs.....  and somehow through these conversations - am also able to look at life, my life, objectively...

the world will keep turning....  lives will always go on.....  more disappointments, confusions and distractions will come and go in my life, this am sure of....  but I also know that there will always be tomorrow to start over again.....  and try to make life simpler, fuller and better....

"Prison Break" that is!!!!

Finally saw the whole SEASON 2 of this exciting,
thrilling, suspenseful, emotional,
fun-ride of a show... and lets not  forget,
Wentworth Miller is Hot, Hot, Hot!!!


I cannot wait to see the follow up -- SEASON 3....
waaah, am soooo ADDICTED!!!!

Now to find some other SUMMER
ALTERNATIVES while I wait... any
suggestions????

And he is Jewish... and he sings so MANLY... and beautifully!!!! Oy Vey!!!

His name is Harel Skaat and he is popular in Israel after being in their own version of Americal Idol -- more BIO INFO here:
http://www.mostbeautifulman.com/musicians/HarelSkaat/bio.shtml
 
 
 here's some of his MUSIC VIDEOS:
 
The only ENGLISH one on the list below -- actually what made me happen upon him as I was searching for the STEVIE WONDER version....
-Lately
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqGQf7vOneY
 
The rest are in HEBREW:
 -Last Night of the World - Miss Saigon
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18VgxuERA6Q
-Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - Les Miz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMPr6T3EY70
-balada lashoter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTwt_PUPvT8
 
THIS ONE IS MY MOST FAVE of all his songs!
-Veat
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV1WWVo88jA

he also has his own  My Space:  http://www.myspace.com/harelskaatisrael  

...been a long time coming....  it has always been in the back of my mind to "my space" going since I opened up the account - way back when... ha ha ha... anyway, here I am... slowly but surely building the profile.....  reaching out and asnswering mails....  so pls be kind and most especially PATIENT....

Hope to meet cool people with the same interests....  and hope to check out some really cool blogs....  and learn more about "My Space", and all the fun it entails....