The worst thing about Chipotle is when you get a dude who just cannot wrap a GOD DAMNED BURRITO to save his life. They flop the tortilla around like a wet towel over a pool chair and there's rice and beans and meat spilling all over the place. The execute the roll and roll up all that stuff into the edges so it makes a freaking mess and then explodes all the hell over you so by the end you might as well have gotten a bowl to begin with because that's sure as hell what you got at the end.

You can totally tell because the dude starts and you have an impulse at the base of your spine to jump right over and wrap it yourself.

If you just wrap burritos all day how do you not get utterly fantastic at it? Based on the staggering number of "How to roll a perfect spliff" videos on YouTube, and the consummate care and professionalism that is clearly evident as they demonstrate this arguably more precise task immaculately, I refuse to believe that getting good at burrito wrapping is any harder.

What I am saying is this - remember the Japanese girl who got irradiated as shit and all she wanted was to fold a thousand paper cranes for peace, but then she died and tons of kids around the world finished the rest? If the Bomb drops and I'm dying of radiation, I'm going to ask for all the Chipotle workers in the world to fold a thousand immaculate burritos each (I judge).

For peace.