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The @®t øf nøt G!v!ng @ Fu©k



Last Updated: 12/3/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 18
Sign: Aquarius

City: Euphoria
State: Tennessee
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/25/2006

Blog Archive
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Sunday, November 22, 2009 
My most amazing day lasted almsot 24 hours on the dot. And it all began with a trip to the mall; and here's how this all played out.


(8:00 p.m. Friday night)
It began with me.. anticipating getting off of work: It was the first friday ever that I didn't close; So I was able to make it to the mall to chill with my bro woody. In the midst of hangin with my boy, another old friend and his girl came along (Shrub and Liz(i'm pretty positive thats her name...) and we all chilled and chatted for a bit
 
Right before the mall closed we decided to go grab some taco bell, their friend Josh (Animal Paw?) came with us (He was pretty cool!) and we ate some taco bell, and somehow or another some peach schnapps made its way into the picture, and I was given a shooter to take home:

I got back to my dorm and spent while on myspace.. and a pleasant little surprise was waiting on me!! another old friend out of NOwhere found me!! She told me that she had been trying to get ahold of me for a long time, and i'm glad she had founf me bacause she's a really good person, and i didn't realised that i missed her as much as i did until i started talkin to her.
 
So.. I drink my schnapps, and it doesn't get me drunk or anything, just enough of a buzz to make me chilled and sleepy, it was about that time that i rocked some DBZ like I normally do right before I crash. and i cought about 2 episodes before passing out

It was the FIRST night I got more than 6 hours of sleep, and it was amazing sleep. I slept like a rock, and I had a dream about crouds of famouse people eating in a japanese resturaunt I worked in, and in this japanese resturaunt we sold a drink, its a japanese soday pop that I had never drank before called Ramune that is sealed with a marble... beside the point.

(It keeps getting better!!)

(9:30 am)
I woke up that morning so refreshed. you don't even know, I  never sleep well. I whipped up a pot of coffee and layed in bed a little longer. I had several hours before work so there wasn't any hurry at all. I slowly got ready and I made sure to grab some video games that i planned on trading, and headed to the mall. Get this... one of my games was missing the disc, so i didn't get to trade.. BUT that was very significant!!! I had some time to kill before work so I strolled around the mall a little bit since I couldn't trade my games. I saw something that I had never seen in FYE: That japanese soda pop that i had never drank before. I absolutly had to buy one, and it was the best drink i had ever drank

I was on my way to work, feeling good which is abnormal. and the day progressed as normal, only i was in a fantastic mood. and halfway through my day a customer came in, at first i treated him as any other customer: Until i realised he was really cool, so i started to talk to him a little more: and we talked for a good bit about music and partied lol, and concerts and stuff. and then he told me of all the photography he had done and that he'd met several different bands and other stars, i thought that was really awsome, but he himself was just a cool as hell customer (Fun customers always make my day)

after than customer one of our regular customers came in. i'd done all kinds of prints for him before but tonight he wants some posters printed (Posters get grossly expensive) and i thought ah hell i'll cut him a little deal, wasn't much but it was a few more dollars in his pocket. well guess what, I get 2 VIP passes to an AC/DC tribute band concert, shit yeah, its new years eve and that sounds like a damn good night to me!! can't wait til some new years!!! 

and now i'm at my dorm, ready to eat dinner... such a good day. i want this day to please not end -.- oh well. its been a fucking awsome 24 hours.
 
Oh yeah: I'm rockin Chris's playlist - because this guys got some of the best taste in music ever. <3


  
Saturday, November 21, 2009 
I'm bored and want to have some fun soooooo!!! Heres a very shitty couple entries about something i enjoy very much.
The first person who can tell me in detail what the fuck i'm talking about I'll draw them a free picture of whatever they want (within reason) At the end of this skit or w/e i'll ask questions, if you answer all of them correctly you win.


  So there I was in Caldera again, not sure why I came back.. probably for the moon sugar. one of the damn guards fined me for falling asleep in someone's bed, what an ass hole, I swear they think they're fucking Mehrunes Dagon or something. I decided that I was going back to Solstheim but the walk is so long. I'd swim there myself if I could at least make it to Khuul by silt strider. they charge a fortune for that anymore.

Today I met with one of my brethren from the black marsh, I've never missed home so much. he told me that he wanted to make the trip to the imperial city from Dagon Fel, what a brave warrior he is, but wearing nothing but boiled netch armor? seems foolish to me. I almost decided to go with him, I could make in to the Black Marsh in at least 3 days if I was in the Imperial City. but theres no moon sugar there. I guess it's back to Balmora for me until I can make up my mind.

I'll Even make them a Photoshop drwing if they can elaborate on the whereabouts of these little towns mentioned

On what main island is this character?
What race is the character?

I'm sure some of you are going to use the internet to find the answer, if i think this is the case then we will talk in IM and I will see for sure if you know what your talkin about :D
Saturday, February 28, 2009 
If you would like to buy some of my art, I do not yet have a paypal account so I would accept the money in person. Here are examples and Pricing of what I would be able to do (But not limited to)
 
Full color and background photoshop picture: $15

 http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/filth2.png
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Emokidcopy.jpg

One full color, no background character. $10
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture012.jpg
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture035.jpg

One Full background pensketch picture: $15
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture032.jpg

One Pensketch character, no background: $7

http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture031.jpg
One No color character: $5
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture030.jpg
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture013-1.jpg
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/Picture014-1.jpg
 
Hand painted Pictures: $40
http://i395.photobucket.com/albums/pp33/PefferBat/DesertFox-1.jpg
 
I would have posted the images directly but myspace would not allow me to do so. If you take the time to look at them i would appreciate it though.
Tuesday, January 23, 2007 
Just out of boredom I'm listing all the bands I listen to

69 eyes
ACDC
AFI
All American Rejects
Apocalyptica
A Perfect Circle
Avenged Sevenfold
Blink 182
Bowling for soup
Bullet for my valentine
Butch Walker
Chevelle
Cold
Collective Soul
Cradle of Filth
Crossfade
Dope
Drowning pool
Eminem
Evanescence
Flyleaf
Freezepop
Everclear
Guttermouth
HIM
Hollywood Undead
Iron Maiden
Katy Perry
Korn
Lamb of God
Limp Bizkit
Marilyn Manson
Megadeth
Metallica
Mindless Self Indulgence
Mudvayne
Murder Dolls
Nickelback
Nine Inch Nails
Ozzy Osbourne
P.O.D
Panic! at the disco
Papa Roach
Pantera
Pussycat Dolls
Rammstein
Razed in Black
Saliva
Seether
Shinedown
Stabbing Westward
Staind
Static-X
Sum 41
System of a Down
Three days Grace
Tool
Twisted Sister
Unwritten Law
Velvet Revolver

Theres probably more that I've left out that I'll get back to later...
Monday, December 04, 2006 
It's not depression anymore, and I can't find words to fully describe, well... Nothing like my classic way of letting out emotion in a way to be understood, right? Here goes nothing I suppose.

I sit here so quietly in a prison of green, unclimbable and incomprehendable. Trapt here by my father at a young naive age, these walls grow dead from the top down. The chappel who's walls are broken and spirits are bruised, I have never left the court. climbing to the circular window and look down at the other side, the ground covered by the torn blanket of dead leaves and a rose patch.
    I sit here at the window, and I swear this time shall be the last, Drinking in the sight of the leaves and the sound of the rain beating on them, and myself. A soul sits silently on the ground at the remander of the wall, He holds a candle of red and chants a spell of which I cannot hear. A man who's face was carved by angels and rejected by the gods, A man who's eyes burn bright with pain, as do mine.
    I stumble to the ground who's tiles are painted with dried blood from the years that have passed. I stumble to the last piece of paper I have to write on, but no ink to write with. Quickly I race to the once green wall and pull off a thorn and penetrate the skin of my finger. And I write to him.
    "I don't know who you are, and I've never seen you before, But I love you.. I love you so much. If you wish to hold me, I wish to be held. I wish to be saved from my prison of once living things, this garden of which imprisons me in sorrow and lonliness."
    Ready to tap on the window in hopes of drawing his attention.. I notice a woman walk to him who's beauty far surpasses mine, and he takes her by the hands.. I almost thought he noticed me, but he turned to her instead...
    Once again I slide to the ground. Dark eyeliner running down my cheeks, and my clothes drenched in rain. Hopes gone again, Happiness gone again.
    Suddenly the Doors of which imprisoned me are shifted open slowly, and a face that looked as if it was carved by angels and rejected by the gods, walked my way, and as I looked at him I saw his eyes burned bright with hope, as did mine, and he gripped my hands warmly and spoke:
    "I don't know who you are, but I've seen you in the past, and I love you so much. If you wish to be held, I shall hold you. I wish to save you from your prison of once living things and this garden that fills you with sorrow and lonlieness...."
Wednesday, August 02, 2006 

Current mood:  blank
Shel here, Mildly depressed and in need of a minor rant, and something specific keeps running through my head and it's dying to come out, saddly though I feel as if this must come out in poem form...

Time bomb, Love struck
Sick, sad, Fist fuck
Thinking of you for the very last time
I'm thinking of you for the very last time
Feel as though I need a breath
Given a feeling of a need for death
Turn away, and I'll never look back on this
I'll never regret the taste of the kiss
That you gave me in return for all that I've done
The poison in your breath, the way I have run
You can turn your back on me, and you can lie to my face
But you can't hide because I can't be replaced

For every night that I've sat in the rain
For every minute of mind blowing pain
For the drugs you've injected into my vein
I regret every moment again and again
But I can't go back, I can't unstitch what has passed
I can't hold on to a feeling that won't last
And it's like the words of which i speak blow over your head
You leaving with a craving.. to only be dead

In the end I know I'm better than everything you do
I don't forget my friends, but by now I've forgotten you
Once upon a time, I broke every rib to see you smile
Though I doubt that I'll see you for quite a while
Unlike you I did not throw away the things I knew needed me
The friends who turned to me, who knew that I would see
See through their problems and bring them back to life
Give them a chance to be happy and rip away the strife
I used to think you and I were the just like eachother
I used to think we were better as one, than all the others
But dusk turned to day and things change with the sun
Victory was yours but in the end look who won

I shake my head, and wipe away the tears
And you're now gone, just like my fears
In the end you were different, we weren't the same
I'm here, you're gone. and there's no one to blame
We've not moved a muscle but come so far
And in you've forgotten who your friends are
But I'm still around for the ones who need me
They know that I care, because, you see
I turned my back when you did, but in the end
I turned back around, for all of my friends

You're gone now.. so no more need to cry
You're the one who lost.. And I let you die
But in the end, Lost will be thine name
I realise now.. We weren't the same



[300 poems and counting]