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Fear and Self-Loathing in the House of RainKing

Rä¡nK¡ng



Last Updated: 11/25/2009

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Gender: Male
Status: Single
Age: 49
Sign: Leo

City: TOMS RIVER
State: NEW JERSEY
Country: US
Signup Date: 6/25/2006

Blog Archive
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Tuesday, October 17, 2006 3:50 PM

Current mood:On the edge of the Abyss...
Bruce Springsteen

Downbound Train
-------------------------
I had a job, I had a girl
I had something going mister in this world
I got laid off down at the lumber yard
Our love went bad, times got hard
Now I work down at the carwash
Where all it ever does is rain
Dont you feel like youre a rider on a downbound train

She just said joe I gotta go
We had it once we aint got it any more
She packed her bags left me behind
She bought a ticket on the central line
Nights as I sleep, I hear that whistle whining
I feel her kiss in the misty rain
And I feel like Im a rider on a downbound train

Last night I heard your voice
You were crying, crying, you were so alone
You said your love had never died
You were waiting for me at home
Put on my jacket, I ran through the woods
I ran till I thought my chest would explode
There in the clearing, beyond the highway
In the moonlight, our wedding house shone
I rushed through the yard, I burst through the front door
My head pounding hard, up stairs I climbed
The room was dark, our bed was empty
Then I heard that long whistle whine
And I dropped to my knees, hung my head and cried

Now I swing a sledge hammer on a railroad gang
Knocking down them cross ties, working in the rain
Now dont it feel like youre a rider on a downbound train


Thursday, July 20, 2006 3:27 AM

Current mood:  contemplative
Actually, for two Emilys... It's late, I'm alone again, (naturally) and I'm in "a mood". What
else is new? I was messaging a new friend and
suddenly remembered a poem of Emily
Dickenson's that I discovered in the Ft. Lauderdale
Library in 1984. But that reminds me of Sylvia
Plath. I read "The Bell Jar" during that same
period (homeless people have alot of time to
read). But tonite I'm in an 'Emily' place...


    After great pain, a formal feeling comes--
    The Nerves sit ceremonious, like Tombs--
    The stiff Heart questions was it He, that bore,
    And Yesterday, or Centuries before?
    
    The Feet, mechanical, go round--
    Of Ground, or Air, or Ought--
    A Wooden way
    Regardless grown,
    A Quartz contentment, like a stone--
   
    This is the Hour of Lead--
    Remembered, if outlived,
    As Freezing persons, recollect the Snow--
    First-- Chill--
                then Stupor--
                           then the letting go--


                     ------------------------

The other Emily is a song by Simon and Garfunkel. It's better with the music, I'm sure it's
download-able.... 

For Emily, Wherever I May Find Her

What a dream I had
Pressed in organdy
Clothed in crinoline
Of smoky burgundy
Softer than the rain

I wandered empty streets down
Past the shop displays
I heard cathedral bells
Tripping down the alleyways
As I walked on

And when you ran to me
Your cheeks flushed with the night
We walked on frosted fields
Of juniper and lamplight
I held your hand

And when I awoke
And felt you warm and near
I kissed your honey hair
With my grateful tears
Oh I love you, girl
Oh I love you
------------------------------------------

Okay, now to download.... and listen...
and...  fall asleep on the couch again
at 5 o'clock in the morning....

I just can't face myself alone again.... Okay,
one more ... Everytime I hear this song I want to
just get out and go... out, away, anywhere...
But not alone...

Bruce Springsteen

Thunder Road

The screen door slams
Mary' dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
Darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a saviour to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now ?
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow
Back your hair
Well the night's busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks
Oh-oh come take my hand
We're riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh-oh Thunder Road oh Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run
Oh Thunder Road sit tight take hold
Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar
And I learned how to make it talk
And my car's out back
If you're ready to take that long walk
From your front porch to my front seat
The door's open but the ride it ain't free
And I know you're lonely
For words that I ain't spoken
But tonight we'll be free
All the promises'll be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets
They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone
On the wind so Mary climb in
It's town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win


I wish for you...
Peace, Love and Understanding,
rk


Tuesday, July 18, 2006 10:40 PM

Current mood:  horny
But there's no doubt they all look *so* happy!