Since it's emo to fill out these stupid things right now, I thought I might as well, seeing as I'm so damn emo.

1. ARE YOU GOING TO LIE?
Well I lied about what I was listening to on my last blog. And I put this one under the Podcast category. So maybe.

2. WHAT KIND OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
An Aeroflot t-shirt. Yes I survived!

3. WOULD YOU KISS ANYONE ON YOUR FRIEND'S LIST?
Sadly enough I don't have any girls on my friends list. Still if I got drunk enough...

4. DO YOU HAVE "A THING" FOR ANYONE ON YOUR TOP FRIENDS?
Sorry guys, Ninjas just don't do it for me.

5. HOW MANY PEOPLE ON YOUR TOP LIST DO YOU KNOW IN REAL LIFE?
All of them, how cool am I?

6. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT TO HAVE?
Two is probably my maximum.

7. DO YOU HAVE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH BOTH YOUR PARENTS?
I'd say so.

8. WHAT NAME WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE BESIDES THE ONE YOU HAVE?
Godfrey.

10. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST B-DAY?
Pub? Can't honestly remember, it was that exciting.

11. WHAT'S YOUR CURRENT RINGTONE ON YOUR PHONE?
A Nokia imitation of a phone ringing.

12. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP TODAY?
5:30am, which is pretty much the usual time for me.

13. WHAT WAS YOU DOING AT MIDNIGHT TWO NIGHTS AGO?
I believe I was trying, in vain, to understand Primer

14. DO YOU LIKE HAVING YOUR HAIR PULLED?
Does anybody?

15. NAME SOMETHING YOU CANNOT WAIT TO DO?
Watch A Scanner, Darkly, out this friday!

16. WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WISH YOU COULD CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF?
My fat ass.

18. IF YOU HAD 300,000 DOLLARS... WHAT 5 THINGS WOULD YOU DO WITH IT?
- Make a pound note swimming pool, kinda like Duck Tales
- Fifty pound toilet paper, obv
- Use some for kindling
- Expensive paper airplanes
- I guess I'd spend some as well

19. HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO TOM?
I talk to myself regularly.

21. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Chocolate raisin

22. WHATS YOUR FAVORITE MONTH?
I'll go for December as well

23. YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MONTH?
January

24. WHAT'S THE LAST PIECE OF CLOTHING YOU BORROWED FROM ANYONE?
A t-shirt from my brother

25. WHO IS GETTING ON YOUR NERVES RIGHT NOW?
The overly happy checkout guy at M&S

27. MOST VISITED WEBPAGE
wilkipedia.com

28. LAST TEXT MESSAGE?
Tom

29. LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU SAD.
Avril, when she said she couldn't give me 100 pounds.

30. WOULD YOU TAKE A BULLET FOR YOUR BEST FRIEND?
I don't remember Michael Keaton wearing a baking tray in Batman, but as long as it didn't kill me, I'd consider it.

31. FAVORITE KIND OF DRINK(S)?

Vanilla Milkshakes

Having just had a particularly satisfying turtle drop, I realise how frustrating it must be to be disabled, specifically in a wheelchair.

Picture this. You've had a particularly large, carb-tastic meal the previous night, which included no fibre whatsoever. You released gas all night long but no solids, not even a raisin. You're desperate. You feel bloated. You drink cup after cup of coffee, and four bowls of Kellogg's All Bran. Still nothing. You go for a walk (well a roll if you're in a wheelchair) to ease the transit of your digestive tract. Finally you feel something! You're about to erupt, and you urgently need to get to an evacuation point. After ten excruiating minutes you find a suitable place (disabled ones are not as prevalent as you were led to believe), but as you close the door behind you, you realise your journey is not yet over. In order to deposit the contents of your heavily-laden bowels, you must first heave yourself painfully out of your wheelchair and onto the repository. As your meat hits the seat, you feel you can hold on no longer. But that's not it! You frantically struggle with your belt buckle but it becomes agonisingly clear that it's a losing battle.

You've shat your pants.