Something Missing

I wish I knew what was wrong with me

I rub my eyes but I still can’t see

I swear my empathy gets the best of me

I need emotion or devotion

To keep these thoughts at bay

And I’m trying every single day

Not to feel this way

I feel I’m fearing that which I cannot control

That fleating feeling will forever come and go

On its own

Give me a pillar so I can stand up straight

Without falling down, to that hardened ground

Where I’ve spent most of my days

Most days I just don’t say much

I’d talk to myself if I felt I was worth convincing

Its like my words have something missing

Like conviction, or motivation

I have so much to say

But without substance

Is it all in vain?

I feel I’m fearing that which I cannot control

That fleeting feeling will forever come and go

On its own

Give me a pillar so I can stand up straight

Without falling down to that hardened ground

Where I’ve spent most of my days

I need a pillow so I can rest my head

My body needs that restless sleep

To feel in control instead

I’m sitting in a silver steel capsule

100 miles per hour, buried under ground

It’s fitting, what I’ve found in these fractals

Nothing’s in my power, I’m neither lost nor found

And so we study

We poke and prod, and try to play God

Yet the higher we build our buildings,

The further we seem from heaven.

I’ve bared my feet to many streets

In hopes of rooting myself down deep

I’ve waited in the pouring rain

I saw my own colors change.

A Clean Break

Let's go back to the beginning of the story

I missed the best part in my anticipation of the end

And with relapse comes repentence so let's review and reconsider it

Let's go back to where I told you I was sorry

I didn't realize that an apology could lose me a friend

And by talking in circles we'll never know where to begin

I guess I never understood how we parted ways

I left you sitting in the dark with your mouth full of nothing to say

I guess I'll never understand just how it works

It's a give and take, it's a bend and break, it's a live and learn

It's too late for sorries now, yes, I know

I'm still hanging on, I won't let go

I'm not trying to return, I just want you to understand what I said to you

Let's go forward to the present, here we are now

And the tension is so thick that you could cut it with a knife

Our conversations are all trivial, so let's come clean and give them some life

I was thinking of the future and I'm sorry

For me to continue pretending would just feel too wrong

So I'll just continue hiding under apologies that I've laid out in my songs

Don't think that I meant for things to turn out this way

I just couldn't stand to leave you hanging for one more day

Don't think that I had planned on being such a jerk

I just couldn't take it, to keep on faking it wouldn't work

It's too late for sorries now, yes, I know

I'm still hanging on, I won't let go

I'm not trying to return, I just want you to understand what I said to you

I hate to make such a clean break because I know it hurts

I pray you take all that I gave for all that it's worth

Notes on the Floor

In my head I've painted a picture of myself; I've got it framed and it's sitting

on a shelf

Everyday I see it and I try to remember that picture's not a mirror, I can't be

that forever

Friends come and friends go but love waits outside your window

Like a bird out on the frailest limb

Well, I've got my curtains drawn, my social thirst is long-gone

Why should they see someone who I'm not even sure is me?

I will lose myself in this crowd, but I am fine with being no one

Because no one does whatever they want to do

I've been driving myself crazy, it seems, lately

I hypothesize and theorize until I realize that I'm so without truth

And I've come so far only to find that what I came here for was never here at

all

Friends come and friends go but love waits outside your window

Like a bird out on the frailest limb

Well, I've got my curtains drawn, my social thirst is long-gone

I will lose myself in this crowd, but I am fine with being no one

Because no one does whatever they want to do

I will lose myself in this crowd, but I am fine with being no one

Because no one does whatever they want to do

Now I'm sitting in this room too big for one

I should try to fill this empty space with substance instead of substances for

once

So I scatter my notes on the floor, and when the smoke clears in the morning

I'll look for definition in them

Colder Weather

I'm constantly settling on stepping stones, never moving on, where I end up's

usually where I say I belong

It's completely sickening to sing a song with only half a heart, and I've half a

mind to tear this song apart

But this colder weather gets my blood flowing faster

And if older's better than I'll get better after

With consequence sinking in, it's sad to say I never make it far, fate kicks

your ass and leaves you behind the bar

And common sense never wins, a single stroke of genius is just luck, it's so

hard to think when your thinking's run amok

No, it's far more easy to just sit back and let the wind have you

And on the breeze you'll see that trust in chance is really just a half-truth

And all good things in all good time, if I could only put my finger on it

It's hard to sing what's on my mind and then convince myself to act upon it

If fate is what can truly bind our sorry souls to destiny then

With fate and choice both combined there should be so much more I'm seeing

In confidence everything is easier, but where's my courage now?

I'd move along if someone would help me out

Here's how this works.  I have some records that I want to get off my hands, so I have typed up a list of what I'm willing to sell.  The list is structured as such:

Band-Album title (vinyl color) [extraneous information]

FOR EXAMPLE

John Weise-Soft Punk (pink) [perfect condition]

If you have any questions, would like a picture of the record, or want to talk prices, just send me a message or talk to me on AIM (MEYERcore).

Vinyl List

7"

-          Caninus-Now The Animals Have A Voice (brown and white splatter) [first pressing]

-          Toxic Narcotic-Shoot People, Not Dope. (clear) [never been played]

-          My Magnificent Machine- 2 Song 7" (black) [out-of-print]

-          Doom- Police Bastard (black) [never been played]

-          Himsa-2 Song 7" (black) [never been played, out-of-print]

-          The Dillinger Escape Plan-Under The Running Board (black) [never been played, out-of-print]

10"

-          Matchbook Romance/Motion City Soundtrack-Split (white) [never been played, out-of-print, slight damage to plastic cover]

-          The Blood Brothers-Rumors Laid Waste (black) [never been played]

-          Whirlwind Heat-Flamingo Honey (black) [never been played, out-of-print, limited edition, slight damage to sleeve] From Wikipedia "All 10 tracks are on the A-side, and the B-side is blank with unique engraved drawings and lyrics done by the band."

12"

-          Circle of Dead Children-The Genocide Machine (black with see-through platinum sleeve) [out-of-print, extremely rare]

-          Strike Anywhere-Exit English (white) [slight damage to corners of sleeve]

-          An Albatross-Eat Thunder, Shit Lighting (see-through red) [out-of-print, never been played]

-          Shai Hulud-Hearts Once Nourished With Hope and Compassion (black) [first 1997 pressing, slight damage to sleeve, Chad Gilbert of New Found Glory on vocals, never been played]

-          Agoraphobic Nosebleed/Converge-The Poacher Diaries (brown and white splatter) [never been played, damage to plastic sleeve cover, actual record sleeve is fine]

-          Thee Flying Dutchman- Thee Caveman Sessions (black) [out-of-print, damage to back of sleeve]

Enjoy!

Well ladies and gentlemen we've finished recording our debut EP, which will be called "Home." We're so excited for this new chapter in our band's history and we're hoping that everyone will be as happy with the finished product as we'll be. The tracklisting for Home will be as follows:

1. I Saw it on Youtube
2. Satori
3. Makin' Up Ain't Hard to Do!
4. My Other Car is the Next Bus
5. Shredfest 2K7
6. Home Part 1: Graduation Feels More Like Excommunication
7. Home Part 2: If These Walls Could Talk They Would've Written This Song

For the next few weeks we're going to be busy printing and assembling the CDs. We will be putting out the EP ourselves, but we're going to put a lot of time and money into making it a presentable and appealing release. We're hoping to have the EP out by late August and would like to have a CD release show.

Please keep listening and tell all of your friends to do the same!

<3 Anthony and HHH

Hi everyone,

For the past few days, we've been hard at work recording at Getaway Studios, where bands like Orchestrate the Incident and Outrage have recently recorded. We're recording a 7-song cd that will be called the "Home" EP. In the past two days we've gotten so much done, and we're returning to the studio Tuesday to finish up some of the vocals. We're all so excited to put this out because it's going to be amazing and far better than anything we've ever done. So far everything sounds incredible, so just sit tight everyone, because this EP will amaze you.

Love,
HHH

Among all these Keys, that which is most closely allied to the highest spirits of the universe deserves to take the first rank, and there is no one who questions that it is very specially endowed with an altogether divine property. When one is in possession of this Key, the rich become miserable in our eyes, inasmuch as there is no treasure which can possibly be compared to it. In effect, what is the use of wealth, when one is liable to be afflicted with human infirmities? Where is the advantage of treasures, when death is about to destroy us? There is no earthly abundance which we are not bound to abandon upon the threshold of the tomb. But it is no longer thus when I am possessed of this Key, for then I behold death from afar, and I am convinced that I have within my hands a secret which extinguishes all fear of misfortunes in this life. Wealth is ever at my command, and I no longer want for treasures; weakness flees away from me; and I can ward off the approach of the destroyer while I own this Golden Key of the Grand Work.

My son, it is of this Key that I propose to make thee the inheritor; but I conjure thee, by the name of God, and by the Holy Place wherein He dwelleth, to lock it up in the cabinet of thy heart, under the seal of silence. If thou knowest how to make use of it, it will overwhelm thee with good things, and when thou shalt be old or ill, it will rejuvenate, console, and cure thee; for it has the special virtue of curing all diseases, of transfigurating metals, and of making happy those who possess it. It is that Key to which our fathers have often exhorted us under the bond of an inviolable oath. Learn, then, to know it, cease not to do good to the poor, to the widow, to the orphan, and learn its seal of me, and its true character.

Know that all beings which are under heaven, each after its own kind, derives origin from the same principle, and it is, as a fact, unto Air that all owe their birth as to a common principle. The nourishment of each existence makes evident the nature of its principle, for that which sustains the life is that which gives the being. The fish joys in the water; the child sucks from its mother. The tree no longer bears fruit when its trunk is deprived of humidity. It is by the life that we discern the principle of things; the life of things is the Air, and by consequence Air is their principle. It is for this reason that Air corrupts all things, and even as it gives life, so also it takes it away. Wood, iron, stones, are consumed by fire, and fire cannot subsist but by Air. Now, that which is the cause of corruption is also the cause of generation. When, by reason of divers corruptions, it comes to pass that creatures fall sick and do suffer, either through length of days or by mischance, the Air coming to their succour cures them, whether they be imperfect or languishing. The earth, the tree, the herb languish under the heat of excessive drought; but all things are recuperated by the dew of the Air. But, nevertheless, as no creature can be restored and re-established except by its own nature, Air being the fountain and original source of all things, it is in like manner the universal source. It is manifestly certain that the seed, the death, the sickness, and the remedy of all things are all alike in the Air. There has Nature stored up all her treasures, establishing therein the principles of the generation and corruption of all things, and concealing them as behind special and secret doors. To know how to open these doors with sufficient facility so as to draw upon the radical Air of the Air, is to possess in truth the golden Keys, and to be in ignorance thereof precludes all possibility of acquiring that which cures all maladies and recreates or preserves the life of men.

If thou desirest then, O my Son, to chase away all thine infirmities, thou must seek the means in the primal and universal source. Nature produces like from like alone, and that only which is in correspondence or conformity with Nature can effect good to her. Learn then, my Son, to make use of Air, learn to conserve the Key of Nature. It is truly a secret which transcends the possibilities of the vulgar man, but not those of the sage, this knowledge of the Extraction of Air, the Celestial Aerial Substance, from Air; for Air may be familiar to all beings, but he who would truly avail himself thereof must possess the secret Key of Nature.

It is a great secret to understand the virtue which Nature has imprinted in substances. For natures are attracted by their like; a fish is attracted by a fish - a bird by a bird - and air by another air, as with a gentle allurement. Snow and ice are an air that has been congealed by cold; Nature has endowed them with the qualities which are requisite to attract air.

Place thou, therefore, one of these two things in an earthen or metallic vessel, well closed, well sealed, and take thou the Air which congeals round this vessel when it is warm. Receive that which is distilled in a deep vessel with a narrow neck, neat and strong, so that thou canst use it at thy pleasure, and adapt to the rays of the Sun and Moon - that is, Silver and Gold. When thou hast filled a vessel cork it well, so that the heavenly scintillation concentrated therein shall not escape into the air. Fill as many vases as thou wilt with liquid; then hearken to thy next task, and keep silent. Build a furnace, place a small vessel therein, half full of the Liquid Air which thou hast collected ; seal and lute the said vessel effectually. Light thy fire in such a manner that the thinner portion of the smoke may rise frequently above. Thus shall Nature perform that which is continually accomplished by the central fire in the bowels of the earth, where it agitates the vapours of the air by an unceasing circulation. The fire must be light, mild, and moist, like that of a hen brooding over her eggs, and it must be sustained in such a manner that it will cook without burning the aerial fruits, which, having been for a long time agitated by a movement, shall rest at the bottom of the vessel in a state of perfect coction.

Add next unto this Cocted Air a fresh air, not in great quantity, but as much as may be necessary; that is to say, a little less than on the first occasion. Continue this process until there shall be no more than half a bowl of Liquid Air uncooked. Proceed in such wise that the cooked portion shall gently liquefy by fermentation in a warm dunghill, and shall in like manner blacken, harden, amalgamate, become fixed, and grow red. Finally, the pure part being separated from the impure by means of a legitimate fire, and by a wholly divine artifice, thou shalt take one part of pure crude Air and one part of pure hardened Air, taking care that the whole is dissolved and united together till it becomes moderately black, more white, and finally perfectly red. Here is the end of the work, and then hast thou composed that elixir which produces all the wonders that our Sages aforetime have with reason held so precious; and thou dost possess in this wise the Golden Key of the most inestimable secret of Nature - the true Potable Gold and the Universal Medicine. I bequeathe unto thee a small sample, the quality and virtues of which are attested by the perfect health which I enjoy, being aged over one hundred and eight years.

Do thou work, and thou shalt achieve as I have done. So be it in the name and by the power of the great Architect of the Aniverse. Such skilful artists of the Great Work as have pondered deeply on the principles confided to the son of Aristeus, have concluded that it would be no vain operation to make an Amalgam with the veritable Balm of Mercury, and this is the way in which they claim to produce this Balm :-
Take one pound of the best Mercury that can be obtained; purge it three times through a skin, and once by calcined Montpellier Tartar. Place it in a glass horn, which shall be strong enough to resist a fierce heat. With it combine Vitriol, Salt of Nitre, Rock Alum, and eight ounces of good Spirit of Wine. Having hermetically sealed the horn, so that nothing can evaporate, place it for digestion in a warm dung-hill during a space of fifteen days. At the end of this time the composition will be transformed into a phlegmatic grease; it must then be exposed to a sand fire, and the fire must be raised gradually to an extreme point, till a white, milky humour exudes from the substance and falls into the recipient. Let it then be replaced in the horn to be rectified, and for the consumption of the phlegm. This second distillation will cause a sweet, white oil to exude; this oil will be devoid of corrosive qualities; it will surpass all other metallic oils in excellence; and there is no doubt that, combined with the Elixir of Aristeus, it will be possible to perform such marvels as might be expected from so admirable an experiment.