The Beyotcces RULE!

Oh, wait.  There's this little thing called "THE PLAYOFFS" we must enter to show our amazing bocce prowess.  We don't want to belabor the point any longer, so here's the schedule:

By the way...we are ranked in 7th place!!! How did that happen?  Amazing skill?  Luck?  No, no...sheer beauty and bestiality!

THE BEEYOTCEES v. BOURBON BALLS (rank:  14)
SUNDAY, APRIL 22 - 1:30 - 2:15 PM

...and, if we win, we go on the same day at 3:00 PM against If You Want My Bocce (rank: 10) or Veni Vedi Bocce (rank: 11)

STAY TUNED!

The Beeyotcces WON the last game of the season!!! WE WON!!!

It was a tense game.  I'm not sure why.  I think it's because we had too many discussions about hair color, movies we couldn't remember the names of (not to mention the plotlines), restaurants we like, recent clothing purchases...

Oh and then there was the bocce game.  RULE!  RULE!

YEAH - our season ended 5-3...that's 5 wins and 3 losses.  Our best record to date. 

Ha ha, yes we ALWAYS are!

But this time, we won!  WE WON!!!  The secret strategy this time was two-pronged (a) make sure our lovely (and sober) captain was fully enraged and (b) - THIS IS TOP SECRET - to make sure our balls were as close to the pallino as possible.

Whoa.  What a little planning won't do!

So, I think that means we are kicking butt all over the place (yet again, disturbing our pedicures).  I also have a feeling that next week will be EVEN BETTER, so stay tumed.

Oh, and you can come and make sure the captain is no longer sober tonight - THE FLESHTONES ARE PLAYING MAGNETIC FIELD tonight!!!  See Brooklyn's hottest door girl in action (and yes, The Fleshtones, and yes, The Star Spangles)...

GO GO BEEYOTCCES!!!

Twice in a row now, we've lost games.

Okay, now that that's out of the way, the good news is The Beeyotcces are going to be talking s-e-x with Nerve Magazine.  Maybe.  Or we'll just talk about kissing boys and the other modes of distraction we like to employ.  Or maybe we won't talk about much of anything at all.

Oh, except for the fact that THE FLESHTONES are playing at Magnetic Field next Saturday after our game, and I can't wait.  I can't anticipate much greatness on the court because THE FLESHTONES need all my attention and I'll be giving it to them as soon as I let everyone in the joint pay me to get in.  Ha ha, I don't even know if I'm working that night.

So, to answer your bocce questions:  (1) No, I'm not drunk as I write this, (2) Yes, we are out of practice, and (3) THE FLESHTONES ARE PLAYING MAGNETIC FIELD IN A WEEK.

That's right...we won for a second time in a row!  THE BEEYOTCCES ARE UNSTOPABLE.

Yet, it seems silly.  The opposing team, Electric Mayhem did not even show for our 2:30 game, so we won by forfeit. 

What?  Not even ONE member of the opposing team showed for the 2:30 pm game?

No, not even one.  In fact, here is an email exchange...from an email I received time-stamped 3:01 pm - well after the 2:30 start time...with the subject line "damn my bocce team:"

Date: Sat, 3 Feb 2007
15:01:19 -0500
From: (I deleted this)
To: (I deleted this)
Subject: damn my bocce team!

hello beeyotcces...this is Animal from Electric Mayhem. my fellow teammates all had work and bailed on our bocce game today. sorry we have to no-show... if you want to try and play some other time, i'll try to whip up at least 4 people, but today a no go for us. sorry! we give! animal

And, this was my reply:

Hi.

Thank you for the email, however, you could have let us know before we all showed up on time for our 2:30 game (your email is time-stamped at 3:01 pm, which is way after our start time). We were all present...and it's odd that you guys could not have given us more of a warning. It's always suspicious when not even one single player shows up...it suggests that the four of you knew well enough in advance to have no one attend.

We do not want to schedule a re-match.

Okay, it's not as bitchy as it could have been.  But seriously, this is crap.  They write 30 minutes into the game when it's clear THEY all knew well enough in advance to not come, after THE BEEYOTCCES have all spent time to get to Floyd when yes, there's 1,000 other things to do on a Saturday, not to mention that Liz lives in Jersey and commutes from there to Brooklyn for this...

Oh well, you get the point.  It's nice to win, but as CJ said, it's better to show up and play and lose than to show up and win because the other team couldn't get their butts there.

Yes, yes, a little bit of a late start to the game (what do you mean "2:30 pm EST?"), a little bit of a lackluster sentiment (dozy, grey skies)...but none of that matters now as The Beeyotcces smooshed (yes, that IS a word, albeit one of a 4-year-old's vocabulary, but a completely valid term nonetheless)...yes, SMOOSHED Team Boccismo in the first game of the season (in 2 rounds, might I add.  7-4; 7-3).

In no small part, we owe thanks to the the very person who shepherded The Beeyotcces into existence in the first place.  Thankfully, mtro was not plying us with ridiculous amounts of alcohol yesterday (since my semi flu-induced coherence needs no amplificatin).  Oh, how The Beeyotcces do love borrowing, um, "players" from time to time.  (Just kidding)

Okay, enough blogging.  Must go back to thinking about bocce.  We must.  We absolutely must.

YEAH!  BEEYOTCCES WIN!

GO, GO BEEYOTCCES!!!