My mom passed away on Sunday.
She suffered a lot the past few months.
The only blessing is she isn't in pain anymore..

Sitting in the hospital
Watching her breathe.
Seeing her chest rise and fall,
watching her skeletal face
grimace with effort.

Looking at my sister, so sad.
Knowing we can't do anything,
but wish her alive and animated.

Thinking too, how better it would be
could she sleep effortlessly and rise
to the heavens on gossemer wings.

Oh to realize so clearly that all
we have pondered all these years
is true.

You cannot go gently into that goodnight.

Death is laughing at us.
While we plead
for mercy.

For just a few more years to make amends.
To let her know how precious she is to us.

For months now I've watched her slip away..
Losing more and getting weary everyday.
I wonder if she finally knows how much I care,
and how I will miss her when she is no longer there
It's funny how we go through life in stages.
Sometimes Love and Laughter,
Sometimes Rages.

The complicated feelings that I feel,
more of time I wish that I could steal.
I know that she must go her way.
And yet..I wish I that she would stay.

Her body, old and weak that holds her soul.
Is now a smaller place and she's not whole.
What is it that keeps us on this mortal plain.
When sometimes everything seems so insane...
Simply love for others is my thought.
Nothing that we have ever bought.
I hope her passing from her earthly home,
is gentle and she needs no more to rome.

Would that there is a Heaven someplace near..
I would have her go there with her loved
ones to be near.
And in her Heavenly garden she would grow,
Flowers of every color, like she did below..

You do not know what I do when you sleep...
I guard the world so no Evil can creep,
Into your dreams and cause you to fear...
Nothing to wake you or cause you a tear.

Into the shadows I go without thinking,
I go very bravely without even blinking..
Looking for danger that might come along,
Whistling in the Dark...or singing a song.

You do not know what I do when you sleep...
I go  quietly without making a peep.
I look at you sleeping so gently and quiet.
So you can go softly into this good night.

I'm alert and  keep  Monsters away.
I keep silent watch till the first light of day.

 I miss...

I miss your heart,
As it beat against mine
in the still of the night
when things were so fine..

I miss your laughter,
and your smile..
I've missed it for a long long while..

I miss being with you,
And seeing you,
All the little things you used to do.

A place in my heart still longs
For you.
A place in my mind
Has a song for you.

“Tho I may never hold you near,
I will always hold you dear,
I  wish you all the joy we had
And tho it makes me feel so sad.

I wish you happiness for eternal life
I know you have a wonderful wife.
One who loves you the way I do..
One to whom you will always be true. 

Some people seem so naive...When they are talking about something they know about they seem brilliant.  But when they talk about something they couldn't possibly know about, or, haven’t thought through, they lose credibility.  For instance; unless you have been a Politician or President and lived the experience, how could you know the best course of action?  If you do not realize how many papers you have to read on a daily basis or how many people are trying to influence you, how can you know what the President knows. 

I can imagine that most of us have a day job and then go home to bed or whatever we do to unwind.  I doubt if shopping for groceries, doing laundry, cleaning house, and most daily chores, compare to the Presidency.  So how do we know how to run the World?  Not just this country, but because others have us so over-extended with their take on Foreign Policy, The Entire World.  Can you even imagine what one must do to sort out the truth from the bullshit?  I doubt if it is that easy to go into the White House and immediately take over and solve all of the problems in the World. 

We need to remember that the   media that we disagree with many times...is the same media that is telling us what is going on. They are primarily the ones’ that influence the mood of the Country.   Let's try to compare this job with a regular 9 to 5 and see what the President is up against.  Suppose you had to take over the leadership of a multinational organization.  There are 50 departments in the immediate area and 195 departments surrounding these.  All of these 245 departments have other people in charge and you must somehow communicate with all of them.  You must know eveyrthing about every department in order to make rational decisions about them.  Even tho you have been studying these departments for a couple of years, you never had all the power to make the decisions about them.  So you have to study what has gone on before you.  You can't just go in and stop everything that is happening and start fresh.  Some of these departments have managers that will disagree with you until you can reason with them.  Some of these department heads are dangerous...with guns and bombs.  Until they get to know you better, they will be armed and dangerous.  Some of these departments have different languages and different ways of doing things. 

Until you become oriented you have to be able to keep your head and communicate with them on their level until you can come to an agreement.  What if some of the Departments are fighting against each other?  What if you put all your efforts into solving these issues and leave the other 240 departments to run themselves..how will that work.  (The departments are the States and Countries the President must run)  Is this an overwhelming scenerio yet?  Imagine you are a human being in Charge of all this.  Imagine your heart hurts every time someone dies because you were not able to immediately stop the fighting and many many people were putting up road blocks in front of you.  Because the President is only one man and is still accountable to many.  What if you had to keep some promises the last President made?  Suppose the last President made some kind of pact with a Maniac and it went like this:  We will give you guns and ammo and let you kill you neighbor if you will leave our 50 little core departments alone? (The United States) What if there is a signed pact like that somewhere? 

What if the immediate safe thing to do is to leave this pact in place until you can figure out how to safely break it?  I do not believe that it is possible for civilians to know everything that is going on.  I can’t imagine that the President who hits the ground running can be in front of a microphone every minute so that we can have transparency.  I have to wonder when he has time to take a crap!  So maybe we can't expect things to change as quickly as we would like because we do not know what is going on every minute in every department. 

I realize that the past 8 year has us all wishing for immediate change…we want it quick, fast and in a hurry!  But how can that possibly happen?  It never has in the past and won’t now.  My opinion is that people who are so impatient with the new President are not being realistic.  You can not scoop all the shit out of a hole that someone made before you and put new clean things in at the same time. It would be healthier for the people who are running up their blood pressure and taking up all their time to say “See, I told you so”  to take a break, relax and see what happens in the future. 

Nothing so huge as the World changes over night…it is just not possible no matter who is President.  I am still going to be hopeful even in the midst of all the Naysayers.  There are a lot of people out their who,  like Rush Limbaugh just hope the President fails. If the President fails..America fails..maybe we should put the effort into hoping the President succeeds.

What if America is not as powerful as we think?  No matter who the President is?  No on has been able to stop Wars since time began...and Wars have never been the answer.  No President has ever stopped hunger..or death or conflict anywhere.  Oh, there have been better times, less complicated, more properous..but how much can that really be attributed to the President?  Is it more that we are willing to work harder when we follow someone who we perceive to think more like we do?  It seems to me that more people in this place at this time are wishing for Peace.  After the past 8 years a lot of us are tired of aggression and just wish to rest, not stop working….but work without fear. The current President promises to pursue this course. Of course there are still things going on that he may not be able to change. A majority of the people want to believe him enough to elect him.  Time will only tell if he is able to do what he says he wants to do.   We can only try to help make our world better.  A thing that I keep hearing is that a lot of people are expecting him to be a God.  And not necessarily the people who voted for him.  The people who did not vote for him seem to expect that he should solve all the problems the world and that he can’t possibly do it. Which is true.  The reality of it is that he is just a man…subject to human failing as all Presidents before him were.  If you think about reality and the people you know, they are usually influenced by the way they were brought up.  If they were raised in a violent or aggressive household they believe that is the way to accomplish things.  If they were raised in a more intellectual household, they are likely to try to think out the solutions to problems.  Most people brought up in Military households believe that you have to physically fight to solve problems..and they believe that the Government knows who to fight and what the problems are. That never worked.  
The thing is that everyone thinks they have the answer and few people run for President.  But they all want the President to do what they as individuals think is the solution.  Reality is that the problems we have are complex and because so many people have been working on them (Presidents) it is not that easy to turn everything around.  It is like a giant tangle of chains.(you know when the jewelry box gets overturned) or a complex puzzle. It takes patience to look and see where the chains are crossing or what pieces go where.  I guess my point is that the world has always been full of Wars, Evil dictators, Corrupt Politicians and various other kinds of violence and ugliness and hatred…What if America is not as powerful as we think…What if this is the nature of the Beast? (the World Beast)   What if we just can’t stop it in the World and just have to stop it in ourselves.   Are we as powerful as we think….I just keep thinking…Let it begin with me….with us…