http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0TEusZdsvE

Check ya boi out on international sensation, Balcony TV.

For those of you bandwagon ass eSocialites that have only been 'Spacin for the last year, you may not know that there was once a social network before MySpace called Friendster (Boo!!  Hsssss!!).  Being the o.g. ePimp that I've been since AOL chat rooms were the shit, I had an account on there.  One of my homies hit me up about an old blog post.  I checked it and read it again.  Damn, I'm funny when I want to be.  But after reading my old post, I wondered.... Has anything really changed in the SF Nightclub Scene??  You read.  You be the judge.

Originally posted 9/25/03

Okay, folks. Normally, I..m the strong silent type
and I don..t normally like to put people on blast
like this. But due to an incident that was completely out of
pocket,as the newest addition to the
75 Degrees Cabaret, I feel that it has come
time to break the silence. This just goes to show
you that beauty and brains are NOT on the same
chromozone strand!





Now first off, I would like to thank the people
that showed up in support of both 75 Degrees and The
Vinyl Bros. Thanks to you guys,
I..m certain that we will be able to parlay the
turnout into the necessary leverage to move Hot Tub to a more work-
schedule conducive day in the week (be
looking out for that). I..d even like to thank
the people that didn..t show up,
even though they swore on their baby..s mom..s
favorite pair of Wersace capris
that they would be there. It just let..s us know
how much potential the night has.




Okay, now for the main lesson here tonight
folks. I was on my way back into the lovely Elbo Room along
with DJ Megablack (of the Vinyl
Bros) to head upstairs. We had just enjoyed a
lovely Salmon Tartar and biscuetta , at the lovely restaurant two doors
down, along with Amp Live (Zion
I) and Cava (the keyboardist for the evening..s
event. 75 baby!). What struck me
as I entered the stairway was the sight of 3
ravishingly beautiful young ladies standing by the cashier.
What struck me most was not the fact that they looked like a Beneton ad
in the new Vibe (1 light skinned
sister, 1 dark skinned sister, and 1 asian
beauty), or the fact that one of them
was wearing pants with a split up the side of her skirt
that went all the way to her sternum.
It was the perplexed way that they were all
looking at the flyer. Now me, being
the consummate professional that I am, I was
truly concerned about how these
ladies would view our event, so I lent my ear
to the conversation as I prepared
to go up the stairs. Before I could get the
broad stroke of the situation,
our Door person Larry (you filth-flarn-filth!!)
points at me and says, "Hey,
talk to him about it!!" So here I am, fresh
from my Christian revival
retreat, faced with a possible Neapolitan
menage.. a quad. I did my
best to think pure thoughts and address
whatever the problem was, quickly.
I had to be on point and remove myself from the
situation before my saint hood
wore off. I looked at the 3 of them, none of
them had that dim witted
glaze in their eye but the light-skinned sister
had quite an annoyed look on
her face. Me being the socially conscious
(P.C.) character that I am, I assumed
that she was upset about the blatant
objectification of the sister on the front
of the flyer. I did my best to explain to her
that the front side of the
flyer was a joke and that the back side of the
flyer stated that fact. She gave me
her best $10 mall rat eye roll and turned
around.
I took that as my cue to depart, problem solved.
What I did not know at the time was that
immediately prior to my entrance, there was
phrase uttered, by said
light-skinned sister, that would shatter the
foundation of reason, and
shake the world to it..s core.




"When is Bow Wow going to get
here??"




This raises a few questions in my book.

Does anybody think about the events that they attend anymore??
Has the SF night club circuit
become such a sham of it..s former self that
people are willing to believe
anything?? Can anybody out there read with any
level of comprehension?? I mean
look at the damned flyer people.



It says, "Hosted by Al Green and 3LW". Now you
KNOW that wasn..t going down because Al is still beefin
with the lil white girl from 3LW because she recorded that diss record
with Freddy Jackson and everybody knows that Al and Freddy don..t
get along.

Peep the next line:
"Special invited guests: L..Trimm, Nipsey
Russell, & Bow Wow".

I..mma give you some nightclub promotional game real
quick. When you see the
words, "special invited guests" on a flyer, it
means "My friend..s cousin..s
carpool partner knows his next door neighbor..s
gardener..s step son who goes to
his old prep school and he delivers papers 16
blocks away from his house in a
gated community. We had TO him sneak in, under the
cover of selling Girl Scout
cookies (?) and had him drop a flyer in ..the
superstar..s mailbox.. so technically
he is invited but if he shows up he..s gonna be
pissed off cuz we ain..t go no mo
Hypno or Crys. All we got are those bottles of
Cold Duck left over from
the Labor Day party." On top of that, Al Green
is not going to host a show for a
group whose name, in french, means "The Pubic
Hair". Especially if their
last hit was before Cross Colours was hot. That
just ain..t gonna happen.
And the Bow Wow thing...




Okay. Let..s assume that the paper boy got the
flyer to Bow Wow and recognizing a huge
promotional opportunity, B.W. decides
the grab J.D. and The Bratt-tat-tat-tat and
roll through. And you know
he wants to cuz he got his driver..s license in
his new video. Even though,
one has to question whether or not The 1
Stunna is an accredited driving
instructor. I suppose it..s possible. It just
goes to show you that
all rappers, sooner or later, have to get a day
job. But back the story. If he did decide to go, in the wake
of the whole R. Kelly
thing, why would 3 women (2 easily over 24 and
1 easily over 30) get dressed in
their best $23 outfits (plus tax, of course) to
come see him!!!
HE..S NOT MESSING WITH YOUR OLD *bleep*!!!! And
even if he did, he..s
not calling you in the morning. He doesn..t need
a ride to soccer practice
anymore. He already has a den mother. You..re
old *bleep* ain..t getting
invited to the Homecoming Dance, the Prom, or
the Summer Solstice Spectacular. GET OVER IT!!!




Word on the grape vine says that after my
explanation and apology, the 3 of them stormed out. Now why is
that? Even if Bow Wow didn..t show up, your triflin.. *bleep* was
gettin in free because, as everybody knows, the Hot Tub
loves the ladies. It don..t matter if you look like Mariah
Carey or Jim Carey; Whoopi
Goldberg, Goldberg from WWE, or Steve
Guttenberg,

WE GOT LOVE FOR

Y..ALL. In hindsight, only one of the 3 of them
really looked upset. The
other two seemed amused. She must have been the
Wil E. Coyote super-genius that
convinced the other two that Bow Wow was gonna
be there fo sho!!! Man... I
don..t know what else to say.




Tune in next month when the Hot Tub will bring
you Fine
Young Canibals, Young Black Teenagers, and the
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...
Hosted by Bub Rub and Lil Sis.

Just ask Prozack Turner

Ahhh... the memories.  Thanks for coming out, yall.

Don't say we never gave yall nothin.  Here it is... the new FL record for FREE!!  All we ask is that you leave a review of the stuff you downloaded.

Peace,
Marc Stretch
http://music.download.com/foreignlegion/3600-8537_32-100383950.html?tag=MDL_FA_sm_artist

Has it really been 10 years?

Life’s as good as you want it to be.

I ain’t no thug I’m a man of the streets.

Been around the world half a dozen times.
Playin these beats and sayin my rhymes.

I think our latest single says it all.  2 weeks ago, I was sitting at home wondering what the hell I was doing with my life.  As usual, overdue bills, rent and car payment notices had worked me into a pretty defeated state.

Now look at me.  Sitting outside of a cafe in Rhinefelden, Germany at eating some of the best baquettes money can buy.  I’m surrounded by people that don’t speak any english but the smile and say ’Hallo’ when the walk by.  I mean, some of these people have never even seen a black man before, much less a 6 foot 5 inch 300 lbs black man wearing a Venom jacket, but still they smile. As I post up here at Heitzmann Cafe, 1000’s of miles away from home, I feel more at home than ever.

Thank you, Hip-Hop.