Broken fences running the length
Of an empty field
The sun brightly shining
On this endless expanse
The ground littered with dead leaves
Arriving anywhere but here
Is now unthinkable
The sun guides towards something
Wish to follow in its arcing path
To disappear below the horizon
Following the warmth of this light
Reaching forward to find the light solid to the touch
Alive and beautiful beyond imagination
Lost in the warmth and brightness
Happy just to know its existence

I have been lost scattered
Broken and twisted perhaps I still am
I have taken more steps back than forward
I have been empty and afraid
Most of all I have seen the world as it is
And I have been forced to live with it
I have seen that nothing is fair
That evil is in everything
I have survived though hardly
I have felt more sadness
Than in the entirety of my life
I don't know where I am going
Maybe I never will
I have circled above a dry land
Searching for anything
And come back empty handed
This year is still to come
But you can only hope

This infection kills everything
Tearing this world apart at the seams
There is no reasoning with disease
Pouring out blood from the inside
Swimming in this red salty sea
Everywhere surrounded by hateful phantoms
Could this have been better
Could we have changed this
Alone in the midst of this raging storm
Unable to imagine anything else living
Wishing to give this all up
And the fear pervades every waking moment
Feeling what shouldn’t be felt
Lost in this immense waste
Letting go of everything
Dying to be new
Someone else must feel this too
On some other plane of existence
Burning skin to cover it up
This could all end here
Not a tear would drop
Anger and sorrow become one entity
So dark and terrible
An inky blackness you cannot escape
Crawling across the surface
Of this entire fucking rock
This darkness isn’t natural
It comes from a mind beyond reaching
Beyond caring for tomorrow
Some may call this insanity
But what the world gives is always less
Than what has been taken
There is no spirit in this place
Living on a shell
In an empty world
A waking nightmare that happens everyday
Though someday it may end
As every time it collapses into itself more
More claustrophobic each day
As this fucking dream slides closer to oblivion
Unafraid simply enjoying the blinding light
As this darkness implodes to create new life
Perhaps this newness will be better
Or perhaps it is just one more failure

This clock has stopped
It's a quarter to midnight
This darkness is tangible
Chilling from these mangled hands
To the depths of an empty soul
If these legs weren't so numb
This ghost town would be a fleeting memory
But the cold has set in
Draining all color from this once bright face
The mirror now reflects a ghoulish smile
Long distant from the miracle of birth
Deep grooves correspond with the scars inside
Worn into this graying smile
Everything ends eventually
But it could have taken longer
Finding a darker meaning these days
Hoping that what is thought is only that
Thought and nothing more
Because if it is real what then
The mirror will shatter
Left alone with not even a reflection for comfort
The sickness will devour everything
Making the air foul with death
And to the left that same vacant smile
Grinning unbearably with dirty rotting teeth
Thoughts of happiness flee from that smile
And those empty yellow eyes
That hook into your soul
And rip it to shreds
Staring into those eyes you can't feel any fear
Only sadness or anger depending on your disposition
Nights like these are hard to get through
And harder yet to forget
So sleep tonight
Close your eyes so you can see nothing
Close your ears so you can hear nothing
Cut off your hands so you can feel nothing
But there is no way to escape
Form what you heart feels
Nor the sight and hearing of your soul
Nobody will save you on nights like these
On a night like this you are completely alone

Walking in circles
An endless cycle of dos and do nots
So tired of this pointless game
Tired of these fucking circles in the sand
Washed away by the tide
Every time a new one begins
Why? is the unanswerable question here
Why keep playing when there is no way to win
Everything ending exactly where it began
Nothing seen in greater clarity at the end
Everything is as oblique as when it began
So why?
Everything continues to move
With a mind of its own
Incomprehensible meaning behind the motion
Even when the light shines
Only these long shadows are discernible
In the beginning there was nothing
And at the end is a void
No matter what turns are taken
False hope is around each corner
To be found a hoax in the full light
Darkness is a gentle caress
Where everything seems ok
Because without sight
Nothing is to be feared
To close the door
And forget everything
Quietly surrendering to the inevitable
Pray that this is quick
Because the longer it takes
The more it hurts after

Running from this burning building
Won't stop till my feet bleed
Because I really wish I could forget
The scorched remnants of a broken house
Time will not erase this sensation
A cold that climbs up the spine
Pricking every nerve
Radiating out towards the fingertips
If the wind were blowing
This fragile frame would shatter
Floating away in the breeze
To spread across empty fields
There would be no regret
This soul doesn't know the word
Always there is sadness
But I wouldn't change what has been
To feel once is too much to ask
As the wind scatters my faculties
Across this solitary landscape
I still wish things weren't like they are
From these various angles
I still can't see any purpose
Just these vague shadows
I wonder is my sight wrong
I feel out of myself
I can see a sleeping figure
Imagining it is me down below
If only it were
If I could sleep through one night
Weary on the outside
But the inside won't stop asking
What is wrong
Still don't know the answer
Probably never will
Because this world doesn't answer very often
And when it does
The answer is never what you want to hear
Yet I can't help asking
Everything here is murky
A cloud hangs over my eyes
I do not fear it
Though I wish for once I could see
Feeling my way one step at a time
The question is
Am I going forward
Or just circling back

Feeling this searing emptiness
An overwhelming sense of insignificance
Falling through empty space
Crawling through this raging fire
Just to feel alive
But this skin is still numb
Cracked and flaking in spots
Exposing a too fragile soul
Cold air wafting through the cracks
Slowly numbing
Small pinpoints of light are visible in the distance
Leading towards yet another broken life
Everything in this place breaks
And I no longer can feel compassion
Looking at this from a new angle
There is still no sensation worth feeling
Sleeping in ice water
So this numbness doesnt wear off
Because honestly this hurts
And I cant handle this anymore
So tear me to peaces
Cause the sun no longer feels warm
And there is no longer any point
To this constant destructive sadness

This is so familiar
Yet at the same time strange
Facing a different doorway
That looks so similar
To one in a distant time
The wood dark
Stained a distinct red
Just below the knob
Words are etched
"Abandon all hope"
The doorknob intricately designed
A swirling mass of metal vines
Making it difficult to see how it attaches to the door
No sliver of light can be seen at the bottom
If something once haunted this place
It has long gone
Somewhere perhaps where the sun still shines
Everyday in the darkness is colder
Gnawing at fingers and toes
Don't want to turn the knob
Because warmth is not to be found inside
Just more empty space

New playlist take a listen... or not

Another night in total darkness
Even the days now growing dim
Sun shedding only a faint glimmer
Just to feel heat from the sun
Black curtains hide the light
Living always in the dusk
Knowing the light is real
Seeing the shimmering glow
Through the crack of the doorway
Yet to see this in full light
Is unspeakably atrocious
To see this quintessential life
To know that everything is so much propaganda
Everything in the past is irrelevant
Silence is my heroine
No whisper of delight
In the air here
This staleness is intolerable
Dying to find someplace to call home
But there is no home
Excepting pure unadulterated emptiness
To feel no longer
To see nothing
To hear no voices
A vacuum of souls
As if this chaotic realm
Had collapsed into itself
Leaving nothing to sense
Everything contained in nothing
I am a part of this nothing
And hence everything is contained within
Hidden deep where no one can peer
Attachment always leads to pain
Burn away all that holds this life
To this place of pain and despair
Dissolve into the night air
Separating into individual molecules
Leaving everything behind
Letting this life end
To find my way home