Okay, here goes, I have to try to fit a week in europe into a couple of paragraphs. I know I should have posted a couple of times, if only for the sake of accuracy, but my quick descent into a world of cheap beer and nasty sweaty hangovers curbed my ability to see a computer screen, let alone sit at one long enough to formulate coherent thoughts.What follows may be blurry and vague in a lot of places but then so were Amsterdam, Hamburg and Berlin.

Amsterdam was our first stop. We (my brother Bob was my unfortunate partner in grime) managed to find it okay, it wasn't too hard, we just got on a plane that was flying there. Finding the hostel was a different matter, we saw a lot of back streets before we got there and even managed to get propositioned by an aging Englishman with a little dog: he wanted to bring us home in case we were lost or scared. Now, I'm fifteen stone, Bob is about thirteen(sorry Bob) I at least applaude his optimism and self confidence, he was only ten stone at the most and no more than 5'6. We didn't do amsterdam as you would expect it to be done, there was no pot smoking and the only breasts we saw were in the sex museum (there were lots in there though). We did the sights and got involved in a water fight outside an Irish bar. The one thing we learned was that if you allow hash to be smoked in a hostel bar the bar staff are always very slow but as happy as any I have ever met.

Hamburg started badly. Our hostel was just opposite the main railway station and anyone who has travelled anywhere knows that most junkies and dealers are avid train spotters. They hang around stations in their droves. Outside the hostel was the "Scandinavian bar". I was disappointed to discover that it didn't contain the leggy blondes and saunas that you would expect. The name actually seemed to come from the fact that, to drink there, you had to look like you had just plundered your way around europe with a bloody big axe. The rest of Hamburg was wonderful. It is a beautiful city, with warm and friendly people and absolutely no Irish bars that we could see.

Berlin, for me, was the highlight of the trip. The city itself has history coming out its arse. We saw the wall, the reichstag, the brandenburg gate, the museum island and about four million extremely beautiful women. The hostel was amazing, with all the facilities your average backpacker needs; a bar, cheap food, beds and all the Australians you can handle. Due to the mother of all hangovers on saturday morning we chose to take it easy and visit the park and the zoo. I'm really glad we did because if we hadn't we would have missed out on the greatest off all the sights we took in; the Berlin lamppost museum. Fantastic, a place that dogs with full bladders can only dream of, and amazingly it was free.

Well, that's it, the severely abridged account of my first foray into the world of hostels, backpacks, germans and historic street lighting. Come September I'll be doing the big tour. Hopefully I'll be able to keep the brain in gear long enough on that one to post here when I can remember clearly what I have done.

Woke up this morning (sounds like the start of a song) and the first thought I had was "no more work for at least five months." That felt really good. Unfortunately the second thought I had was "no more paychecks for five months." That one has frightened the shit out of me. Now, i'm not the most organised bloke in the world, so the thoughts of having to budget strictly for that length of time is a scary prospect. I'm not a big spender but I do tend to have days when I will walk into shops and buy all around me. I think the first rule I'm going to have to impose on myself is STAY OUT OF HMV AND WATERSTONES. If I go into either with a credit card it could mean not seeing Spain. If I go onto amazon it could wipe out most of southern europe. I suppose that's not a bad way to do it; every time I spend fifty quid I shouldn't have, I miss a city. I don't want to miss anywhere. I wouldn't like to insult anyone by missing out their city for the sake of a CD that I will probably only listen to once or a playstation game that I'll decide is too bloody hard anyway.

Apart from that, not a lot of news. As it is sunday morning, the hangover is kicking in big time and my tongue feels like my teeth decide they wanted a carpet and just went ahead and fitted it overnight. I am jobless and if I keep going the way I am going I may be an alcoholic by the end of the month. All I'll need then is a subscription to the racing post and a spot on a bench down the park. That would be great. I could sit drinking Dutch Gold and Buckfast while people pretend I don't exist. Drunks can shout all manner of abuse at people and get away with it purely because people believe that if you ignore them they will go away. Bullshit, they never go away; they pick the person who looks most scared and torture them for as long as they can. The only way to protect yourself is to carry a bible. When the drunk comes over to you and shouts "aargh fuckit gisafag" you whip out the bible and tell them you are going to save them. Suddenly, all of his limbs will be perfectly coordinated and he will run off screaming. Works every time.

Why in the name of God do we wait all year for a really hot day and when it comes complain because it is too hot? I'll tell you why; because the heat arrives on a bloody Tuesday. The single most fucking useless day of the week. there is no point to Tuesdays. Monday you can talk about the weekend and still be bathing in the glow of the craic you had, Wednesday is the hump of the week, Thursday is practically the weekend and Friday to Sunday doesn't exist outside a bleary haze. In fact, I'm not convinced that the weekends happen at all, they may just be happy memories planted in our brains by the powers that be, just so they can keep us docile and steal yet more wads of cash out of our pockets. A sort of virtual enjoyment tax.

But anyway, back to Tuesdays, and more to the point hot Tuesdays. now I know that there are a lot of people to whom this doesn't apply, but, in my little corner of the world a hot Tuesday can mean only one thing; a wet weekend. We don't get a whole week of sun at one time we kind of spread it out across three or four weeks so we get one hot Saturday every month if we are lucky.

On the up side, this is my last Tuesday at work for about five months and this time next week I will be in Amsterdam, in a heap in a hostel bar. So not all bad then. I still hate tuesdays though. Stupid fucking day.

Help my head.

I am currently hungover to shit because I didn't know when to stop. It is not a good idea to go out on friday to celebrate the eve of your last saturday of work. My last saturday became an everlasting spiral into hell. Dehydration, nausea, the shakes and a thumping headache all conspired to make me wish I was dead.

Enough of the cheeriness though, Now I am home and planning to go out and fuck myself up all over again. I have just tried to get an iron maiden ring tone sent to my mobile and failed miserably. Why did I become a technical fuckwit the day i turned thirty? I used to be able to work all sorts of gadgets with ease, now I struggle to get my phone to perform the simplest of tasks. I am suffering from a severe case of R.T.F.M. (read the fucking manual) but that would just be sensible and who wants to go down that road. next thing you know I'd be eating vegetables and listening to Coldplay. Nah, I could never sink that low.

The first day of the rest of my life

This, as you already know because you are reading it and I am assuming you are not stupid, is my first ever blog entry. I cannot guarantee that it will improve, in fact it will probably get a lot worse. Kind of like cheap wine it may be okay if you are drunk but if you try it sober you will wonder what the hell possessed you to even consider it in the first place.

I am now less than two weeks from walking out of my job and leaving Ireland to travel europe with an English girl I met three months ago in an Irish bar in Edinburgh. At thirty one years of age, this move is probably the most ridiculous, irresponsible, exciting and important thing that I have ever done. This blog will hopefully follow our trip and keep my friends in touch with everything we do. I say probably because I am a lazy bastard and the next entry may read "Just back from Europe. It was class."

Before the grand tour I am doing a little tester with my brother. Amsterdam, Hamburg, and Berlin, should be a nice quiet cultural trip.

Anyway, that's the first one out of the way, hopefully there will be more drivel along soon.