Interview with The Village People's Randy Jones

Posted by Jon Chattman on November 27th, 2007

RANDY JONES TO HOST "GODFATHER OF DISCO" FOR OPENING OF 2007 FIRE ISLAND FILM FESTIVAL

Times Square Gossip.Com

Randy Jones with Michelle Rodriguez

It Takes A Village, People!

Great anecdote from Lady Bird Johnson's memorial service in today's Post:

Harry Middleton, the retired director of the Lyndon Baines Johnson Library, told of a breakfast meeting at New York's Plaza Hotel when he and Johnson were seated near the Village People, who were dressed in full costume.

One of the band members came over and expressed his admiration of Johnson, then asked if she would have her picture taken with her. She graciously agreed, Middleton recalled, although she didn't know who the people were. Told later that they were a singing group, Johnson smiled and said, "Well, I wonder if we just made the cover of their next album."

Alas, looks like they went with cowboy, instead.

VH-1's "NY77: The Coolest Year in Hell" gets its premiere screening at The Sunshine Cinemas on Monday, July 16th at 7pm.

"NY77: The Coolest Year in Hell" is directed by Henry Corra ("Same Sex America") and Academy Award nominee Nanette Burstein ("The Kid Stays in the Picture") serves as executive producer.

In 1977, New York City was falling apart - dirty streets, bankrupt government, a crazed serial killer and a legendary blackout triggering looting and destruction. Yet out of the chaos emerged one of the most creative times any city has ever encountered. It was the dawn of hip hop, disco, punk rock, sexual liberation and more.

Multi-platinum recording artist and American Music Award winner Randy Jones is featured in the film discussing his career and recollections as actor/singer/dancer with famed American choreographer Agnes DeMille, fashion & music icon Grace Jones and his involvement as founding member of Village People in the pivotal year, 1977, for Disco, Punk and Fashion.

This two-part, two-hour ..ary tells the story of one of the most astonishing pop culture years in American history. New York City had fallen in decay and chaos. There were not enough jobs, not enough money, not enough police, not enough schools, and not enough social services. There was a city wide black out with major looting, there was a serial killer on the loose, and the Bronx was burning.

Yet out of the chaos, emerged one of the most creative times any city has ever encountered. Hip Hop was emerging from the South Bronx, punk music was emerging from the lower eastside, and disco was emerging from Queens and midtown Manhattan. Elaborate, finely crafted graffiti art decorated the subway cars. Break-dancers danced in the streets. There was a huge sexual liberation with sex clubs
and a burgeoning porn industry. In the beginning of the year, the world was not paying attention, and most of this activity existed in its own underground bubble. Yet by the end of 1977 all of this artistic expression was about to become part of mainstream America and would remain popular for generations to come. Maybe it would ever again be this independent expression, not invented for money or fame, but the need to rebel against the mayhem around them. Maybe it would go on to be commercialized and sterilized for massive consumption. Maybe it would never again be this unique.

It was, after all, a very special window in time, that doesn't happen too often. And it will be celebrated in the ..ary NY77.

The film will be graphically dizzying and groundbreaking, led by the team that produced the acclaimed ..ary The Kid Stays in the Picture. Firehouse Films was created in 2004 by Academy Award nominated filmmaker, Nanette Burstein.

Also featured in the film are Chris Stein, Debbie Harry, Lou Reed, DJ Kool Herc, KRS One, Iggy Pop, Gloria Gaynor, Ed Koch, Lee Quinones, Danny Fields, Hilly Krystal, Lovebug Starski, Malcolm MacLaren, Jimmy Breslin, Mel Cheren, Al Goldstein and others.

Nike Vintage Running, Filter and VH1 sponsor an exclusive
screening of NY77: The Coolest Year In Hell.

Featuring a post-screening Q&A session with GrandMaster Caz, DJ Disco Wiz, and Nanette Burstein (Exec. Producer, NY77). Moderated by Mark Riley (Longtime NY Radio Journalist).

Hosted bar reception prior to film provided by Budweiser Select.

Monday, July 16
7pm
Sunshine Theatre
143 E. Houston St.

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Former Village Person Randy Jones Talks About Disco, Divas, and Much More

Robert Lawrence 21 Mar 2007

I recently had an opportunity to chat with American Music Award winner, Randy Jones, about his new CD Ticket To The World and a little bit of his history with the Village People. This is Randy's first formal solo outing release since hanging up his boots with his famous counterparts. If you're wondering what he's been up to since his YMCA days, he's been kicking up a storm over the years in plays, movies, and other related projects. You will find that Ticket to the World carries many diverse styles of cover tunes, but don't you dance floor divas worry as there is still a lot of boogie left in that cowboy. Check out the smoldering hot cuts New York City Boy, If I Can't Have You, the lounge-esque version of Depeche Mode's Freelove, and (naturally) his own take on Rhinestone Cowboy. You will find that Mr. Jones is very focused and determined to be remembered for his own accomplishments and well as his collected legacy with the members of the village! We The People: "How did you become a member of the Village People?" Randy Jones: "I think I have always been a bit out there and performing in one way or another. And I have a natural gregariousness and I really love being around people. Yes, indeed, I think performing is something that came very natural for me. The stage has always been a place that I enjoy being. I guess I've always BEEN singing since I can remember. Being raised in the Baptist Church I was always singing on Sunday mornings. My dad's favorite music was country western. Fifites pop music certainly made an impression upon me. My parents, who were home movie enthusiasts, have these great early 8mm home movie images of me at age 3 or 4 dressed in my denim jeans, cowboy hat and boots, doing my best Elvis Presley impression complete with gyrations. So you could safely say that I came by singing and dancing naturally AND at an early age! I have always loved listening to Tony Bennett, Mel Torme, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr. and Ella Fitzgerald. From about 8 or 9 years old I began doing Children's Theatre and Community Theatre in Raleigh, NC, my hometown. I began doing summerstock and regional theatre in my early teens. I've probably appeared in excess of fifty plays and musicals. My training background includes my degree in film, theatre and communication from the University of North Carolina in Chapel Hill and the degree in choreography and dance from the North School of the Arts in Winston-Salem, N.C. Here in NYC I've studied at HB Studios and with Stella Adler. I have performed as a member of The Agnes DeMille Heritage Dance Theatre. I've danced with The Pauline Koner Dance Consort, The Anna Sokolow Dance Company, and the Paul Taylor Company. I have always loved musical theatre having toured in Meet Me in St. Louis with Cathy Rigby, Carousel with Ed Ames, Funny Girl with Carol Lawrence, Will Rogers' Follies, Music Man, Chicago, 42nd St. as well as in the plays Barefoot in the Park, Summertree, Dracula, Dark of the Moon and many others. I have recently completed two films, Three Long Years and A Tale About Bootlegging. I arrived in NYC about a year and a half before I met the VP producers. In that time, I worked as a actor and toured the U.S. in several musicals like Carousel with Ed Ames and Funny Girl with Carol Lawrence. I also found bookings as a model for several designers from Calvin Klein to Perry Ellis and worked with some great gals like Janice Dickinson, Iman, Jerry Hall and Grace Jones, if tales be told. There were some great international jaunts while prowling the catwalks of Paris, Milan and Rome. When Grace got the deal for her first album, Portfolio, the one with the great La Vie en Rose track, she called on me to perform in and help create her infamous original act. We were very outrageous and toured it from Boston to Key West and all points in between, during late '76-and into mid- '77. In late Spring of '77, Grace and I were in a fashion show which was included as part of the legendary Billboard Magazine Disco Forum Annual Awards held in NYC. That's the first time that the VP producers saw me onstage, I believe. They approached me and asked if I was interested in being in a group that they were producing. I think the way composer-producer Jacques (Morali) put it was: " We love the way you look and move...we love your moustache, can you sing?" As an actor, I always said "Yes", if someone was offering me a job. My policy was to let them decide if the job and I were anything other than a good fit at any point later on. After making an appointment with the producers to meet and discuss the deal, I showed up in my regular off-duty gear, cowboy boots, jeans, a western shirt, etc. and sang for them. I was in like Flynt!..and the rest really is history." WTP: "How involved were the Village People 'pips' (the five of you in the background) in the actual recordings?" RJ: "That's an interesting question. And as a tribute to the big VP choral sound with which we were identified, I recreated that sound for the opening track, Your Disco Needs You!, on my new CD, Ticket to the World, we were very involved in creating the Village People sound. We are the voices you hear on all the albums from Macho Man forward. We often tripled and quadrupled our voices to stack and create the huge male choir sound whih became our renowned trademark. And all those handclaps you hear on songs like In the Navy, are REAL. No machines. Sometimes our hands were raw after laying down all those handclap tracks. You gotta remember, this was a period before computers, drum machines and advanced sequencers. On some of the albums, as I recall, Beauris Whitehead, and a couple other lyricists, sat in on the sessions." WTP: "What's your favorite Village People track? (Mine is I'm a Cruiser)" RJ: Of course YMCA is a favorite. It's one of those pop songs that had made an indelible impact on pop culture. And it has provided a wonderful living for me over the past nearly thirty years. I would have to say that the other one of our tunes that I favor as much would have to be the actual first single from the Go West LP,...not "In the Navy", but "Go West"...it has the best lyrics ("Together, we will go our way...") that are positive and uplifting. As well, I think the feel of the song is very 'big sky', kinda John Ford (the great Hollywood film director) inspired in it's grandeur. I remember when we listened to the final mix of Go West, I closed my eyes and imagined huge blue Wyoming skies with long wagon trains traveling off into the distance like in an old Western film. The sound is very cinematic to me. Not only is it one of our songs with long legs, as it is played around the world in stadiums for soccer and rugby matches from the UK to Australia, but it also inspired The Pet Shop Boys to do a cover of it back in the 90s. They also did an homage to Village People in their song, New York City Boy which I cover on my new CD, Ticket to the World. My version of NYC Boy is a bit more in your face with more of a brash, hairy-chested treatment, complete with blazing NYC horns and some rhythms that the Pet Shop Boys version lacked." WTP: "You've been a busy boy in the last year or so, with film projects and the new CD. I enjoyed your interview on the Disco-Spinning the Story documentary. It seemed like you had a lot of positive moments back then. Anything wild and extreme from that period youÅd like to share and didnÅt in the documentary?" RJ: "Yes indeed, it seems with each week, month and year, opportunities just continue to come my way. Last year I did three off-Broadway plays and musicals. Earlier this year I narrated a documentary about the history of The Pines out on Fire Island. It is a staple on LOGO Television and is one of the best docs I've seen lately on that aspect of the GLBT community. Currently I'm working in my third off-Broadway play this year, The Madonna Whore: Confessions of a Dirty Mind, directed by the terrific film actor, Eric Thal. There are two films in which I appear slated for release in 2007. I've just been offered the lead playing Saul in a new musical called Dave and Johnny. It's the Bible story of King Saul, David and Jonathan, transplanted to the 1909 Sheep and Cattle Wars of Wyoming. The original story is in the Bible, the First Book of Samuel. That should get on its feet sometime in 2007-8. Then there's the role of Prince Faisal opposite T.E. Lawrence in The Man in the Desert, a terrific play set in Iraq in the 1930s (with strong parallels to the present day situation in the middle East) that is scheduled to begin in Febuary '07 down in North Carolina on which I've got my eye. Later in 2007, I plan to do a new film project with Larry Dvoskin, the innovative film and music producer. The heyday of Village People was probably the most breathtaking whirlwind experience of my life. There was hardly ever a moment to stand back and take a deep breath from the schedule in which we were constantly involved. We could easily find ourselves on three different continents in the space of five days. I distinctly remember performing on American Bandstand in LA, then flying to Rio de Janiero for a soccer stadium gig of nearly 100,000 people, and then taking the Concorde to Paris in order to work on a French film entitled Je Te Tiens Par le Barbichette. We did this all in less than a WEEK! Somehow, once in a while, I was able to force myself to pause and just look around to take in all the glorious madness that was endlessly swirling around us. Like taking advantage of a free evening to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and look out at Paris, the City of Light, realizing that this experience is NOT the common experience of the majority of the people on this planet...so f--king enjoy this and EVERY moment that comes along. Those moments were precious and far between. For a period of several years, I never really heard the word "No" very often. When most everyone around you are answering "Yes" to your every request, it can be easy to lose perspective. I guess you can say groupies, of any sort, are by their very nature extremely enthusiastic and cooperative. And believe me, I have been blessed with a very generous amount. Despite the impression that many may have of the late 70s lifestyle, it was not really my cup of tea. I certainly know that there was a helluva lot of wildness going on...I observed a lot, but it wasn't my predilection particularly. There were certainly parties and gatherings of folks where all manner of stuff went on. And, indeed, there are many people that I knew and worked with through the years that are no longer with us, for various reasons. God bless them all. As an individual, I feel extremely blessed and fortunate to be here, healthy and free of the things that have ravaged and destroyed so many. Martha Wash (from the Weather Girls) and I were just reminding ourselves of our good blessings the other day up at the Sirius Satellite Radio Studios when were doing some interviews together." WTP: "Speaking of films‡be honest, while filming Cant Stop the Music couldn't you tell the level of camp was way off the charts?" RJ: "CSTM...ah, Hollywood! That was an incredible era, I gotta admit! We began our association with film producer Allan Carr (CSTM, Grease and La Cage aux Folles producer) nearly two years before you had the opportunity to view CSTM on your movie screen. And believe me, it was a long and storied journey...with many curves and detours...but I can't think of a thing I would wish different. As a young man from N.C., living in NYC for less than three years, when Allan took us to dinner at the famous Hollywood eaterie, LeDome on Sunset Boulevard, we had been a group less than a year and a half. He, Jacqeline Bisset and a coterie of others had been in the audience at a taping of a live show we had just finished doing for Don Kirshner's Rock Concert, a very popular weekly late night music program in the 70s. Hmmm. Can't Stop the Music. Working on that film was truly an unbelievable experience. I mean, how many people can say that they have had the opportunity to portray themselves in a major Hollywood motion picture. I can't think of many...maybe Audie Murphy in To Hell and Back. He portrayed himself in that film as America's most decorated war hero. Come to think of it, To Hell and Back might have been a better title for CSTM. Only kidding. Getting to know Allan Carr, Nancy Walker, Valerie Perrine, Bruce Jenner, Steve Guttenberg, Tammy Grimes, Marilyn Sokol, Barbara Rush and all the rest of the great folks involved with that project was just part of the non-stop whirlwind that we found ourselves caught up in LESS than TWO years after we recorded our FIRST album as Village People. Yes, in less that two years we went from recording our first album to shooting CSTM, a major Hollywood film, budgeted at more than 35 million dollars, which was a helluva film budget in 1979 dollars. And we were surrounded by ALL the trappings that one would expect in a Hollywood scenario. The house (I leased one from Joan Collins) in Beverly Hills, the assistants, the publicists, the cars, the parties, etc. There are hundreds of tales...This interview is just the tip of the iceberg. There's everything from Rock Hudson to Ladybird Johnson to Cher and Dolly Parton to Falcon Studio Models to hangin' out with Hugh Hefner and dating Playboy playmate Dorothy Stratten. All of it happened so very quickly, as does all of life. I've got a whole slew of memories from those days, probably enough to fill an encyclopedia. I know I've got enough for a 300-400 page book...I've just signed that deal and it is expected to come out for December 2007...just in time for Christmas...so put it on your list. The opportunities and experiences were certainly incredible...from performing in outdoor concerts for crowds as large as 280,000 in Canada to doing a UNICEF benefit with Ginger Rogers and Amanda Lear at the original Moulin Rouge in Paris to performing in a Command performance for the Queen of England. Not to mention travelling the globe and performing in every major nation on nearly every continent. I have also had the honor to be invited to perform as a solo artist for a United States Presidential Inaugural Ball in January 2005, where I performed YMCA". Now that was a once in a lifetime opportunity! But it was still a tremendous rush as recent as this past summer when I was invited to attend a home game for the NY Yankees and sit in the mayor's box. There I was with the current and a former mayor when at the top of the 7th Inning as people are standing for the "7th inning stretch", we hear the familiar opening strains of YMCA. Well, by the time the song got to the chorus, the entire sold out 'House that Ruth built" of more than 55,000 fans was up on it's feet doing the letters, Y-M-C-A, like it was second nature...while Bloomberg, Guiliani and I were projected up on those HUGE jumbtron screens singing along and doing the arm movements. Yes, even today, life can often be a bit surreal for a simple guy from down in the Village!" WTP: "I've always wondered why that film got such a bad rap. Sure it was no Singing in the Rain, but it was pure fun and on that level it delivered. My feeling is that it fell into the bowels of the ÑEnd of Disco MovementÉ at that time. Do you agree?" RJ: "I'm certainly in agreement with you that CSTM delivers on the level of pure fun and entertainment. And over the years as a film it has certainly attained a status as a cult classic. And evidently it is still enjoyed by lots of folks, if one is to read the reviews of customers at places like Amazon.com, Netflix, etc. In 2005 it was released in a re-mastered version for its 25th anniversary...and as the review says on the DVD cover: "Like nothing you've ever seen before!". We made a film that harkened back to the days of big movie musicals of MGM, etc. Inspiration came from many previous films. For example, our production number, YMCA was inspired by the onboard pool number in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and Milkshake took cues from many of the Busby Berkeley films of the 30s and 40s. Still, as you watch it today, you can't quite believe you're watching what you're watching. It has a very interesting hypnotic quality." WTP: "I've heard rumors of a 'thing' back then, between you and Construction Worker, David Hodo? Was there any truth to that or was it just fans lustful thinking?" RJ: "I can assure you that it was purely the lustful fantasies of the audience. There was definitely nothing there for me!" WTP: "Compared to your other solo adventure, the Dan Hartman produced, Pretty Woman EP (believe it or not, I do own a copy) how does Ticket to the World compare? The Man Parrish mix of New York City Boy, is delish and more than club worthy. I really enjoy that you are tipping your hat back to those Pet Shop Boys after their over-the-top sending of Go West. Are there any juicy collaborations to be found on the set?" RJ: "Favorably. I feel that Ticket to the World is my best work since the days of Village People. And thanks...it's always a pleasure to get a positive response to one's work. In choosing material for my new CD, Ticket to the World, I worked closely with the executive producer Will Grega and the producer Frosty Lawson. We worked on nearly 30 songs and eventually arrived at the 14 tracks, which appear on the final product. Of course, anything I would sing has to sit well in my voice and I have to feel good about singing it. I also have to find some affinity with the song. Usually the lyric is the most important to me. It must speak to me in order for me to come up with a vocal performance. Ultimately I'm the final arbiter...nothing gets on the cd unless I want it there. I have a particular affinity for New York City Boy and Rhinestone Cowboy, of course. But I've got to admit I love to do the rhythmic ballads like Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's No Matter What and Depeche Mode's Freelove. The first eight tracks are pure pop, with six bonus remixes by some of today's hottest remix artists, including Man Parrish, 2Fabu, FC Nond, and Marcos Carnaval & Max2...guaranteed to move your feet and induce Saturday Night Fever!" WTP: "Any particular message or feeling you would like your fans to get out of your music?" RJ: "This collection of songs is for my friends and fans. It's a package of fun, feelings, and dance music, with wide-ranging material by some of the pop greats, including Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Jim Steinman, Depeche Mode, Robbie Williams & Kylie Minogue, Pet Shop Boys, Neil Diamond and a gem by the Bee Gees. Incidentally, the FC Nond Remix of If I Can't Have You has already become an international hit in its advance release in Europe and Latin America." WTP: "Last years outting of Lance Bass (NSYNC), caused a stir of headlines. As a former staple for modern day boy bands, what are your thoughts on his reasons (for the sake of the band) on keeping his sexuality under wraps?" RJ: "Hmmm....well, not quite sure what to say about that. Having met those two gents. I do believe people have a right to their privacy. I'm not so sure that there wasn't mutual "use" in that coupling, but who am I to say? And I'm so aware that trying to have a relationship in the pressure of the glare celebrity is daunting to say the least. But, now the point is moot...'cause they are 'kaput'! No more "Frostylocks" and the "First Reich"! Unlike my partner and I who've been together now for 23 years. I do believe that people should be able to love whomever they choose to love...in equality, without having to suffer second-class status as a citizen. And I honestly believe in the concept of commitment...it's a very important part of my life. I don't believe it is something that enough value is placed upon in today's culture. I think that it is unfortunate that so much, including people and relationships, is considered disposable in our world. From the disregard for the deaths in Darfur to the glibness with which the divorce rate in America today is regarded. Having said all that, I really do wish Lance all the best. He's a very nice guy and deserves to be happy with someone to love and be loved by. And he should be able to fly into outer space if he wants to." WTP: "As a solo artist, who would you consider your most positive influence?" RJ: "I think I've been mostly influenced by vocalists of the last century, Tony Bennett, Mabel Mercer, Mel Torme, Bryan Ferry, Peggy Lee, Nat King Cole..singers who I believe really understand a lyric. The lyric is the song. I believe one sings a song to tell a story. If you don't get the words, you don't get the story...you may well just hum the melody...Which some people do extraordinarily well!" WTP: "In closing, just because I always find this question interesting and honestly donÅt think anyone ever answers it truthfully? What is rolling around in your CD player these days? (I was listening to the Best of INXS this morning)" RJ: "To tell you the truth, I get most of my music from itunes and I keep my Ipod on "random"..! Of course, I'd be lyin' if I didn't admit to listening to my new CD, Ticket to the World (available at www.cdbaby.com/jonesrandy, www.RandyJonesWorld.com and digitally at itunes and other digital download services)." Chatting with Randy was a great opportunity and I thank him enormously for the lending of his precious time to share his thoughts with me and our readers. You can learn more about Randy Jones, information on how to get his CD, and check his future plans at www.randyjonesworld.com.

On April 4th, Tammy Grimes opened in her new show at the Metropolitan Room (34 W. 22nd St.), where she will also perform tonight, April 5th, at 8 PM.

"A Broadway legend proves beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she 'ain't down yet!' Theatre Hall of Fame and 2 time Tony Award winner, Tammy Grimes, sings numbers from her Broadway career, as well as an eclectic repetoire of composers including Jimmy Buffet, Noel Coward, Tom Waits, and Kurt Weill," state press materials on the show, which is directed by Joel Vig with musical direction by Dennis Bud.

In the audience on April 4th were luminaries such as Randy Jones, Joan Rivers, Patricia Neal, Rex Reed and Julie Wilson. 

Grimes won Tonys for her work in Private Lives and for creating the title role in The Unsinkable Molly Brown.  Other Broadway credits include Orpheus Descending, 42nd Street, Trick, Tartuffe, California Suite, and High Spirits.  Film credits include High Art, A Modern Affair, Slaves of New York, The Last Unicorn and Can't Stop the Music. 

Tammy Grimes

Tammy Grimes and Joel Vig (director)

Randy Jones and Joan Rivers

Tammy Grimes and Joan Rivers

Tammy Grimes and Randy Jones

Tammy Grimes and Randy Jones

Randy Jones and Tammy Grimes (co-stars of the Village People movie musical Can't Stop the Music)

Tammy Grimes, Patricia Neal and Randy Jones

Patricia Neal and Randy Jones

Tammy Grimes and Julie Wilson

Tammy Grimes and Julie Wilson

Rex Reed and Julie Wilson 

Mark Rupp, aside from working in the film and modeling industries has been a working photographer for 20+ years. His work has been published in a multitude of magazines and websites.

RON GALELLA @ POWERHOUSE GALLERY

Posted by enewsbuzz copyright 2006-2007 in Buzz Exclusive | Permalink

RITA COSBY HAS HUGE FAREWELL BASH !

Village People's Randy Jones belts out a song for Rita Cosby !

 

Emmy award winning Rita Cosby threw a star studded farewell bash along with singer-songwriter Tomaczek Bednarek(left) at NYC hotspot Plumm Nightclub on West 14th street. Rita is moving on to new and better adventures in the world of News Reporting. It seemed like the world came to the club to say bye to Rita, including on air personalities Lis Wiehl, Mickey Sherman,Contessa Brewer,Chris Jansing and Alison Stewart. Also helping Rita Celebrate were Star Magazine's Candace Trunzo, Celebrity Service's Bill Murry, Hot actor Bobby Abid, Covergirl Cindy Guyer, Dr. Judy and NY Daily News ace Photo Editor Charlie Ruppman.

 

Guests were treated to a surprise performance by Village People's Randy Jones who brought down the house !

 

Daily News Charlie Ruppman Rita Cosby and Star Magazine's Candace Trunzo

Actor Bobby Abid with Pete Paranicas Roscoe Deniston and P.R. Wiz Tony Vargas

Labels: BOBBY ABID, CANDACE TRUNZO, CHARLIE RUPPMAN, RANDY JONES, RITA COSBY, TOMACZEK BEDNAREK, TONY VARGAS

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..> ..> Randy Jones singing Rhinestone Cowboy with Michel Gondry on drums and Gyda Gash on bass Photo by Derek Storm

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..> ..> Paint That Naming panelists (from left) Michel Gondry, Nicole Eisenman and Randy Jones Photo by Derek Storm

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DIARY OF AN ART STAR by Reverend Jen   I am always trying to get on TV. Not because I can act, but because being on TV is a gateway to infinite riches. It is my theory that if I become a TV star everything else will follow. My books will be published, my clothing line produced and my Troll Museum Bar will finally open. (Currently, the Troll Museum has no liquor license and is in my apartment, which is inconvenient to say the least.) But really I just want to get published. At present I am so unknown as a writer that I feel like de Sade writing in prison. You'd think the fact that my books are great would be enough to justify their publication, but quality no longer matters. What matters is whether or not you have ever combated an overflowing dishwasher on The Real World or eaten un-shelled partially formed duck fetus on Survivor. The simple fact is that people are prejudiced against people who aren't famous. Thus, we have cable access, a television network devoted to programs made by regular people. For years I've done a cable access show called The Adventures of Electra Elf, a superhero comedy where I battle evil in a spandex leotard and gold go-go boots. You'd think this would be the perfect launching pad for fame, but no such luck. So I was thrilled when Mark Kostabi asked me to appear on his cable access show, Paint That Naming, a game show where art critics and celebrities compete to title Kostabi paintings for cash rewards. It used to be called Name that Painting, but was changed after the Name that Tune people informed Kostabi that they owned the phrase "name that." The same thing happened to my live show, The Lower East Side Price Is Right, whose name had to be changed to The Lower East Side Price Is Wrong after I got a cease and desist from CBS. Who could have imagined game show executives were keeping a watchful eye on the art world? Since I am not an art critic or a celebrity, Mark asked me to be Paint That Naming's "money giver" -- the person who hands out the cash prizes to the winners. This role is usually reserved for his niece, but she was unavailable so I was called in. I seem to have a natural talent for getting rid of money so I was a good choice for the part. Plus, I am good at waving and smiling -- I'm raw spokesmodel material. With practice, I could become the Vanna White of the art world. This week, the panel of celebrity judges included painter Nicole Eisenman, film director Michel Gondry and Randy Jones, the original cowboy from the Village People. I looked forward to meeting an actual Village Person as a magical encounter akin to meeting a live unicorn. When I was a kid, I knew of only three cowboys: John Wayne, the Marlboro Man and the Cowboy from the Village People. In 1978 I was six years old and I loved disco, to such a great extent that disco lyrics still consume a large part of my brain. I can't add or subtract, but I can recite Macho Man word for word. Perhaps I prophesied meeting Randy Jones last month when a friend gave me two Village People albums. (My original Village People albums met the same fate as my Donny and Marie dolls -- they mysteriously vanished during the '80s.) Upon receiving my new albums, I exclaimed, "Now I have to get these autographed!" And now I would, I thought, carefully packing a sharpie into my bag before leaving for Kostabi World. I arrived, ready for my close-up, in a pastel getup worthy of Goldie Hawn on Laugh-In. There was just enough time to snag a cookie from craft services before I was handed a wad of cash and told where to stand. The hardest thing about being the money giver is making sure the overhead camera doesn't hit you in the head. Other than that, it's the easiest spokesmodel gig around. There's no flipping of heavy vowels required. The celebrity panel struck me as being the most incongruous group of people ever assembled, not unlike the time when Mrs. C from Happy Days was on The Love Boat with Andy Warhol. In addition to the jury, Kostabi's television studio includes a rockin' live band (that included members of the She-Wolves) and a studio audience that votes on the titles put forth by the celebrity panel. Mark was hosting from Rome via a computer feed, which made the whole thing feel vaguely space-age. It was like taking directions from Hal in 2001: A Space Odyssey. "Let's look at the first painting," Mark suggested, drawing attention to a canvas featuring two figures -- a woman stretched out on a bed and a man sitting at the foot of the bed with his hands on his head. Wasn't too hard to figure out what was going on there. Glam punk priestess Judy Nylon, who was in the audience, suggested the painting was about fear of exposure. Armed with this penetrating observation, the luminaries offered up titles. Nicole Eisenman proposed Association-Disassociation while Michel Gondry came up with I Forgot How to Do It and Randy suggested Final Indictment. The audience voted using paddles marked with green cash registers on one side and red plungers on the other. Association-Disassociation garnered the most cash registers, so I pulled a $20 bill out of my bundle and handed it to Nicole. The next painting, an image of a woman touching a man in his chest causing a centrifugal vortex, was a small one. Mark instructed me to pick it up and walk it over to the celebrity panel. My hands shook with nervousness as I ventured closer to the Village Person. Nicole said she was so "distracted" by me she could "barely see the painting." And Randy proclaimed he was "afraid of" me. I managed to hold it together long enough for Randy to come up with the winning title, Touch Me Here. The next painting was of a woman dragging a man up a flight of stairs. Nicole observed that the male figure was green, perhaps sick either with nausea or envy and that the woman was lifting him up, maybe healing him. Her title: Stairwellness. I hate puns but the audience felt differently, unanimously voting for this title, which brought Nicole $40. The prize money is doubled when the audience votes unanimously. Nicole, sensing a pattern, titled the next painting, Eye Think I Like You, which won. She was quickly becoming the "Ken Jennings" of Paint That Naming. It was beginning to seem like a person could even make a living by appearing on this show. But soft-spoken Michel broke her winning streak with his next title, Listening to Fingertips. Zany music began to play and I was told it was time for the $50 round. I grabbed the special $50 sign and twirled it around, doing a dance. An assistant brought out a canvas depicting Liz Taylor with two Kostabi figures floating in the foreground. Randy Jones asked us all to honor and observe the fact that it was just Liz Taylor's 75th birthday. Nicole suggested the reverential Liz Taylor Godhead, but it was Randy's title, Tabloid Dreams, that took home half a chip, as the ganstas say. This was followed by a few other paintings and some bonus art history questions for which audience members and panelists could win money. Considering the only thing I remember from art school is that a 40-ounce of King Cobra malt liquor cost $1.64, I didn't get any of the answers right. I did, however, get to cut a rug to an unexpected performance -- Randy Jones singing Rhinestone Cowboy with Michel Gondry on drums. I felt inspired by the lyrics. "There'll be a load of compromisin' on the road to my horizon/but I'm gonna be where the lights are shinin' on me." And I was even more inspired by Randy Jones doing a squat dance move without splitting his jeans. When it was time for the taping to end, I was told to stand in front of two large fans disguised as cash registers and release $100 in singles, which the fans blow up into the air above the audience. I worried about my hair getting stuck in one of the fans as I bent down and peeled off the bills. The audience fought for the cash like bachelorettes at a bouquet toss. It was hard to unfurl the money fast enough or to get them to fly anywhere but to the front row. (Tip: If you are ever in this audience, the front row is where you want to be.) So a cameraman helped me out until they were all dispersed. Once the first taping was over, I whipped out my sharpie and my Village People albums and approached Randy Jones. "Do you think I could get your autograph?" I asked. "I'd be delighted," he said. I turned the album over and pointed out the fact that he'd had me dancing to a song called Sodom and Gomorrah at the age of six. He signed both sides with personalized messages and gave me a copy of his new album, Ticket to the World, along with his business card. Dazedly I thanked him and walked away, staring at the albums. "Keep it up," he'd written on one of them. Suddenly I felt like the young man from YMCA -- encouraged by a Village Person to pick myself off the ground. There was no need to be unhappy. And I knew, as I left Kostabi World that afternoon, that I really could make my dreams come true. REVEREND JEN is an art star, urban elf, troll museum founder and up-and-coming celebrity personality. She is the author of Reverend Jen's Really Cool Neighborhood and Sex Symbol for the Insane.