1.you werent worth those months of depression.

2. ive wasted 3 years of my life on you. and if you were to leave tomorrow i would never care.

3. I believe. I'm not telling you, you'd laugh.

4.I wish we hadnt.

5.i miss you. but its ok now. thank you for saving me.

6. uhm you make me happy =]


7. I won't leave. ill stay here for you. You keep me alive every day. you let me wake up and smile. KEG forever=]

8. uhm ask me? [please]=]
9. im so fucking scared we're gonna grow apart.


10. I made it. and im fine without any of you.

Just another drop, just another swallow, just one more breath. It won’t change a thing. In this dream the sun seems to turn in circles over and over causing fire to fall from the ground above but you don’t care, you’re still safe aren’t you. A letter is written one that is never sent, it should have been, a childs death cannot be explained because he never got that letter. Just to rip it out of the journal and to hand it over could have saved her. But it never happened so now comes the dominos and slow motion falling. But remember when we never had to remember when times were better than this.One more lie could keep it going, keep the plane in the air, keep it from hitting buildings. It could keep the ground from shaking. That earthquake began it all, one more great empire to be destroyed. And you cant even read the letter that would change it all.....

The Heartbreakers will always get there heart broken, the liars lied to, the haters hated. What goes around comes around and we both asked for it. Tell me to get out then you pull and others push me right back. So where do I go, there is no where I can escape, nowhere I can get out and away from you. The stereo is blasting and we're all singing along, best friends forever right? No it always happens, somebody comes and takes the place of another, it's a constant domino effect. The Forgotten will join together and forget you, here we stand together waiting for the day you speak to our faces and admit all your wrongs. We know we have destroyed so much, but look at yourselves you've done worse. Smile big for everyone even when you know what they've done I'll let it go, you have to learn to stop pushing it. Wouldn't you love to see me fall, wouldn't you love to see me get hit by a car or bullet. But you're the only thing stopping it. Nightmares keep you up for hours, thrashing and turning just let it take hold. All the kids are fucked up anyway. This story is just a chapter, you've got more coming, youre gonna go far kid.  You won't find redemption in another lie, to find youre way through the gates you must learn to take it bit by bit start with the first mistake and fix it all. Well that should take a couple of years well it all piles behind the wall. See you were the light, you were the rose beyond the wall and the sunshine behind the clouds. Now, well now youre just the knife and the razor, the hair straightner and lighter, the scars and blood, the smoke and the drink. You are the addiction and escape. Why couldn't you have admitted all your small truths, the truth can save a thousand hearts you know. Questions surround you and you lie to every single one. You keep it all in and let it eat away till you rot in your sacred city. Well In all honesty im not asking for anything, but a simple smile, and for you to open your eyes, open them wide and see the car crash and explode in to stardust. Watch as we compliment the clouds and disappear. Just to make every movement easier

You are never going to be a bad memory.

And that is what causes me too fall,

No matter what, I cannot turn my heart around and hate you,

I can't bring myself to look at you without attempting a smile. I see you and my heart still jumps, same as it has done for a year now.

I can't change anything,

I can't step backwards and fix all this.

Maybe it wasn't meant to turn out right anyway.

Where once we stood so free and blessed we now lie trapped and crestfallen.

 It's cold with snow seeping into the ground melting over us, there is no blanket or warmth to hold us.

Stinging our arms and hearts we let it. Neither one of us fights back, you were the only warmth to take these frozen eyes and open them.

But now I don't care, it won't change a thing if I can open them or if I keep them shut I just want this ice to take hold of everything and let me disappear behind hazy glass.

I don't want to be saved. Heroes always leave me behind, they never stay for longer than a few months, so if I find hope in another, I will be shattered again and again. Each time something dies away and is irreplaceable.

I won't be left behind again.

I will find a home away from all the piercing screams and explosions

Peace between it all, and you can do as you please, but don't break me from this sculpture im creating around me.

this really is nothing to do with who you think most likely....

We are all losing in this world war of love. You disagree, then tell me who is winning? We stand with guns pointed at eachothers hearts, scream at me until I shut down ill hold that cold metal against your chest and pull. Watch as you fall to the ground and I won't care, if I ever leave this world I'm taking you with me.  I won't let you have the pride of seeing me fall, you may think he's the reason, just because he's the most recent hurt, but he isn't, you are, you have been for years. I know you well enough to know you never meant half the things you said. Now I walk by everyday, try to keep my head up, but it falls and sway, bite my lip till blood runs down my neck, all because of the same reason, all piled up. No things won't get better, it will pile and pile, till finally I break. Then you'll notice, he'll see the side I always hid, and everything will change will you care then, would he stay with me after I ruined every breath he took? So who is winning in this war of hate? We all are, and we all are not. We kill eachother, by killing ourselves.

& i dont feel anything when you tell me no. I dont feel anything when you look the other way and don't say a word.There is no pulse, no heartbeat, no breath, everything is silent. Put ice to my skin, but its already frozen, there can be nothing left in a land where there is no home.
Artificial smiles walk these streets of glass heads fall to the ground and they all sink lower. Till one day they'll be swallowed.
So give me back the feeling, and take me home.
Take me back to all that i knew.
to the family that held me close, and everything that kept me safe.
Take me back to it all so that i can feel it all again.
So that i can smile, laugh, scream and cry.
Just let me have something, just once.

2007:

so this is the end my dearest friend
we tried so hard but not enough
the snow falls down and the world ends
Because of that one word no one knows the true meaning of
we'll pass eachother everyday in this hell
but we are ghosts unseen to those who dont believe
You'll go with your friends & i'll go with mine
& we'll never speak of this again.

We all make mistakes, and we all find ourselves lost. More often then most would expect we find ourselves looking to the slicing cold and the open wound. We become enraged and full of hate. We blame all those around us and go out to hurt them. I have become full of mistakes and full of hate, but I can't be hurt anymore. As much as you all want you cannot break me down any farther, I have fallen this low over time, I tried to climb back out so many times and I am finished. I'm through trying to save others or trying to save myself. Ill let this take me wherever. I can't see the look in your eyes when I fuck up again. I won't listen to the voices in my head and I won't listen to you. The evidence is lying down the stairs, fly down them and push the cold metal against our chests, just one pull and it'll end it. But there are some that could not go on without you, they would not be able to face the day without you next to them, holding them up. Standing in the middle of the woods running in every direction you cant seem to find an escape, but just wait. Wait for an angel to come, one always does. This isn't ruined, you're loved by too many to disappear, so let me be the one to leave. Let me be the one to feel the hurt, to feel the hate, to feel the metal against my chest. I will take it all away. I will be the one to be forgotten. You have changed too much. I have never even hope to have so much. Take your friends and don't let them go, hold onto them. Their more than I have ever had. You will be found, you will be forgiven. I will sit here and wait for the movement of a hand to end the world. I will leave & be forgotten. I wont hurt or be hurt anymore.

We see visions of the world passing by. Unseen to others we walk between the clouds dancing through the rays of light we fall from the sky and land in the soft grass that tickles our feet as we run through it. Climb the willow and the world fades around you this is the way it should be. We will imagine new dreams here we can be anything.Princesses trapped with someone coming to the rescue, Lost cities are found as we follows the paths of the sun, Together take the apple from the tree and taste the stinging sweetness. dripping down my chin, you would laugh wrap your arms around me and we would run. Play in between the trees and flowers, We choose to beileve, i choose to let you go, i choose to let you be happy and leave. We choose to love, we choose to smile. We watch the sailboats go by or we climb to the top of the mountain Pulling and dragging we get there slowly One day we will reach the top and fly far back into the clouds so that we can dance more.

Tracks lay in front of you  follow them chase that train till the end. Don't stop and look back at what was. The sun is shining red onto everything. Words echo off the rusted metal just sit and listen  breathe and take it all in Don't say out loud. Keep it inside They will figure it out and they will make it worse. So just hide in the light Come and hide with me a fake smile wont make anything better Run. Forget hiding  just run away Don't look at the train with all the smiles that you can't share Run away in any direction just away from that train It's impossible to sit still. Focus is impossible. My stomache is empty  and im starving but it doesn't atter I don't want to do anything  but hide and run. When you find me I'll start running again. I wont just stop and listen to what is happening I refuse to.

Drown yourself with the words painted across the wall. Don't breathe until you have taken them all in. See the lights flashing in front of you just before it goes black. Hold onto that flash of light your not one to ever let go. You think you are but your really not. That last look of brightness will reflect for years. See the paper and the numbers that sit there. They have no meaning they don't bring you anything at all why do they have to be there? Nothing will come from them they are there to make you yell and kick. To show that something in this world has facts, to show that somethings never change.

woods.

I ran through the woods, looking all around,

Searching for your eyes

The spark of light that will let me relax

That will let me stop running and just breathe

I ran through the woods, seeing the sun

Jump off the soft green moss that covers the scars

On one rock that carries so much

The same rock that we sat on for lunch when we were younger

The rock where we sat to figure our way home

This rock carries more memories than you or me

I ran through the woods trying to find my way out

I ran laughing, crying, and smiling.

I ran from everything that was to everything that is

I try to find a way out then there you are

And the light that reminds me it's all worthwhile

blue.

I have never seen such a brilliant shade of blue as the reflection in their eyes.

The swirls of sky and teal, green and gold,

Staring out the window with wonder.

The shine saying they want to see the world.

I have never seen such a brilliant shade of blue as the ocean on Plum Island.

The soft waves from the boat moving you up and down as you walk farther in.

The murky water is dark and beautiful,

Changing from black to blue to the white foam  on the shore.

I have never seen such a brilliant shade of blue as the sky covered by a thousand soft clouds.

I'll  lie here with you and watch it,

Watch the blue stand still with nothing to move it, nothing to change it for hours on end.

The sky is flat while the clouds pop out at you,

Breaking the never-ending blue

I have never seen such a brilliant shade of blue as the lights that flash while the music blasts.

Hundreds of hands raised moving in rhythm

Or the paint sprayed across the railroad bridge

Saying better words ever written.

Dripping down the side following the groove of the cement

Then drying never to be washed away.

I have never seen such a brilliant shade of blue,

As the color floating everywhere around em,

In the eyes of those who I love, in the ocean I come from,

And the sky I see everyday.

I had never seen such a brilliant shade of blue,

Till I looked around.

There were 20...

There were 20 of them

Lined up and waiting

Ten were waiting for the command,

Only one word.

With that word they could pull the trigger and

The adrenaline would release.

More hate would build as they watched the enemy fall.

The other ten waited for an angel

Someone to come and save them,

From this end they were about to meet.

They stood like statues,

Praying for Allah to come.

Their feet holding onto the burning sand,

Some held their eyes shut tight

Some held them open, tears streaming down their cheeks

They had no hate for these men with guns,

Most were younger then they.

All they wanted was their own way of life back.

The wall behind them was painted with the words of a young child

A short poem then the word FREEDOM was largest,

Covered with sprays of red from all the men before them

All 20 stood and waited for one word

Fire there it was.

There were 20 of them, but only 10 shots rang through the air.

There were 20 of them, but in the end

Only 10 men lay dead in the sand.