Lesson number two - choices

So the first lesson was about the things that you have no control over and just have to survive so I figured the natural next thing would be about the things we can control.  Plus this lets me put off any discussions about sex until you're like forty five and I am sleeping peacefully in the grave.

    Everyday everything that happens is a matter of choice. Even if the only choice you make is to keep going or not you have made the decision to continue life. It's like a diet you can feel that it's some sort of thing way out of your control or you can realize that it's simply you deciding if you would rather be eat the food and get what ever thing you need from the food or sacrifice that for the long term benefits. 

    A clear example would be my relationship with your grandparents. There have been many time that I have seriously questioned why I allow them to be part of our life but as I was growing up all of my had passed away before they could ever play a significant role in my life and I wanted things to be different for my son. So I decided that the hell of dealing with them was worth some benefit you might gain of a connection to a larger family.

    The other thing important about choice is learning from them. As you go through life you will encounter what I like to call speed bumps, moments in your life where you will screw things up really bad. Be prepared it will happen and will keep happening, during these moment you have choice to learn from them and change the people or parts of your life that led you to that screw up or continue on blissfully.  The main point being that you have to know that you have the power and if you don't change then your circumstances will never change. You may move or get a new job but you find that similar people and situations will still surround you. This is your fault and you can make it better. 

    I have not made all the correct choices and there are things that I still haven't figured out about why parts my of my life are they way they are but I am certain that where I am is because of me- not my family, not my boss and not circumstance. These things shape you and provide possibilities but you are the only who has the power.  Try to see this in every situation and direct your life accordingly. I remember going canoeing when I was teenage and the camp counselor said if you are not paddling faster then the current then you won't have any control life is the same way.

A week before Halloween seems like a strange time to start a new year's resolution but I have never been known for my adherence to standards of normal behavior.   I recently caught a surprising good chick flick Julie and Julia which inspired me to begin a more personal blog kind of like top gun inspired me to join the navy. Not that I did once I found out that only like one percent of navy people ever got to fly fighter jets. I also know that the chance of me getting this blog turned into a movie has about the same chance.  So I have decided to use this blog as a way of communicating what I have learned so far in my life to my son as he finishes his last year of high school.

I have a good relationship with my son but like all children there are things he doesn't tell me and questions he doesn't ask.  Also the fact that we are guys which subtracts some acceptable topics of conversation. And finally he is eighteen and I am like . . .  the crypt keeper (at least to a kid in high school). So I figured this way I can espouse some of things I have learned from life, many of them in the hardest ways, and he could read it and would not have to admit that he got it from me.  And this being the 21st century if you're going to do something personal then it has to be on the internet for everyone to see. Then again there might be someone else out there that can learn from my mistakes and avoid some of the hard knocks but not all of them. Hard knocks are good for you in the long run.

Okay so what I have learned so far

Not much

Or I should say not enough

But if I left it at that this would be pretty boring.

Lesson one - Endurance

Some people have faith, some have love, some have margaritas what I cling to in times of trouble is confidence in my endurance. I learned a long time ago that life does not have limits on what it can throw at you.  I would never put in one my stories a mother having a stroke while a father recovers from a heart attack but it happens and I have known people who went through far worse.  When I was younger I used to joke that there was no situation that I could not ether out think, out run or out fight but as the years have gone by I have discovered there are some things you just have to survive. 

I did not know it but I started training myself in college when I would have a couple of hours between classes and would just pick a direction and ride in one direction for half as long as the time I had to kill. This led to more then one day where I out in the middle of Springfield country roads an hour away from civilization and tired and beat. I had no one to call and no other way to get home then just do it.  Now I was not in danger of losing my life or serious harm - except maybe for being ridiculed by some   cows but I still learned that there are days you just have to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving. Hard and bad times end or at least life gets bored with tormenting you in one way and moves on to another. So as long you don't stop and give up you will find yourself in a better or at least different place.

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