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Bill Chott



Last Updated: 11/23/2009

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Status: Divorced
City: Los Angeles
Country: US
Signup Date: 10/4/2003

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Monday, February 25, 2008 

Oh You Motherfakers,

Last Saturday night was amazing.  It was the Ska's the Limit 17th Birthday party at Off Broadway in St. Louis.  Those of you in the know, know that Ska's the Limit is the pulse of the ska scene in St. Louis on 88.1 KDHX. The whole station is amazing.  If you're ever in St. Louis, just tune your dial to 88.1 and it's just like St. Louis weather.  Just wait an hour and it'll change.

I sang with Jesse Irwin and the West Memphis Country and Western Ska Destroyers.  We opened for The Toasters, one of America's longest running ska bands!  The audience was amazing!

I don't have much time to write since I'm getting ready for my show tonight...Comedy on Parade at Mad Art Gallery.  If you must know, it's listed on my Calendar. Then I'm off to LA for about 48 hours to meet with some producers at CBS.  I'll be mum on that for now since the details are few.

Get the Fake Outta Here,

Bill

Currently listening:
One More Bullet
By The Toasters
Release date: 24 April, 2007
Friday, February 15, 2008 

Dear Motherfakers,

Check out my stand up comedy online.  I did a show with Mary Lynn Rajskub a while back and now they're starting to show clips from it online.

I'm one of the featured clips o' the week.  Please visit www.effinfunny.com and rate and comment on the videos.  Let me know what you think!

By the way, I've already gotten some feedback about this comedy and I want everyone to know that I'm not making fun of people with disabilities.  Anyone who knows about my work in The Ringer and my work with Special Olympics knows that I advocate on behalf of people with disabilities using satire to point out something that I think is a bit patronizing.

Sincerely,
Bill

Currently listening:
Down in New Orleans
By The Blind Boys of Alabama
Release date: 29 January, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

If you've been waiting to see me as Mr. Laritate on Wizards of Waverly Place, please check your local listings. According to my sources, (my sister Mary) I'll be on The Disney Channel at the following times:

February 15:  3:30PM
February 18:  11:00AM, 3:30PM
February 20:  5:30PM
February 25:  4:30PM

All times are CST, so check your local listings!

In other Motherfaker news, I guess no one was able to crack my code?  Does that mean that there will be no treasure hunt?

Currently listening:
Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus
Release date: 20 September, 2005
Friday, February 08, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hey Motherfaking Taxpayers,

I thought you might be interested in checking out how the government is spending your tax dollars:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wnq6cD5jk1Q

I believe in killing other people for democracy and all, but that's redonkeypunch!

Also on a political note, I hear that Karl Rove premiered his first show on Fox News on Tuesday.  That would change Shrove Tuesday into  Rove Tuesday!  It was also Super Tuesday, and George Bush's nickname for Rove is Turd Blossom.  That would have made it Pooper Tuesday.

I hope you all had an amazing Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday.  Now it's Lent.  What are you giving up for Lent?  Bottled beer? Candy? Tax dollars? Good taste? Your Diet?

Let me know.  I'm giving up candy and booze for Lent.  I think the good Lord would approve.  Now I'm going to eat Crisco sandwiches and get high.

Your Dearest,

Great Uncle Bill

Currently listening:
Stop Making Sense
Release date: 26 October, 1999
Monday, February 04, 2008 

Category: Parties and Nightlife

Hey Motherfakers,

Can you decode this secret message? Hif Usfbtvsf Ivou Jt Po!!! 

If you can, please send me a private message.  Then I can give you your first clue and you can begin the next fun chapter in The Double Super Top Secret Fan Club!

 

First, please help my friend Michael by voting for his AMP commercial from last Yesterday's Superbowl.  Click HERE and vote on him for The Best!  It truly was one of the best commercials yesterday.  Hope you pay close attention to this commercial because it contains some hidden clues in the next "Usfbtvsf Ivou"

Vera and I and some of our rowdiest members of The Improv Trick were in the Mardi Gras parade in St. Louis this weekend.  I hadn't been on a float since college and it was a lot of fun.  I threw so many beads that my arms are in pain.  We were proud to join the Grand Sultans Of Excess in their Bowling themed float.  Vera dressed as a bowling pin and I dressed as a drunken bowler.  Which was easy because I just had to show up as a bowler.

I realized the true fun in throwing beads off a Mardi Gras float.  Of course there is the traditional tit for tat.  But I loved making eye contact with people who were trying to grab beads for their kids and I aimed right at them.  There were so many crazy people going even crazier for plastic beads.  I had to give them what they wanted.

After the winding parade, we drove back at high speed all still on the float to Al Hrabosky's Ballpark Saloon for some celebration, dancing, and breakfast.  They were partying it up mad style at the Mad Hungarian's!  It was a wild time.  After Hrabosky's we walked to Soulard to see all the parties going on.  There were some wild window displays, Los Carnales was playing outside of Hammerstones and we toasted our good friends there.

Finding a cab was impossible, so my buddy Paul was kind enough to pick us up and save us from the slush ridden path we would have had to walk in order to join him at his party.  Paul is quite the foodie and proud of his French heritage.  We ate some amazing Jambalaya, Beignets, Chicory Coffee, Croissants and drank many more Hurricanes.  I remember that our friends Katie and Mike gave us a ride home, but I don't really remember that happening.

Yesterday was a real fun time at my brother Tim's house.  Vera and I ate far too much, even for a Chott family gathering.  Tim is much more of a sports fan than I am, but I have to admit that I really enjoyed the Superbowl last night.  For the last few years, Superbowls have been really boring, but this one was exciting up to the last minute.   I've got friends in both New England and New York, so I was happy for whomever wins.  Even if New England is a sneaky team with a thief of a coach who stole the Superbowl from the Rams a few years back.

Stay in touch, gentle Motherfakers...for the blog is about to get a bit busier!!!

Fake On,

Bill

Currently listening:
Calling All Children To The Mardi Gras!
By Shad Weathersby/Mike Artell
Release date: 15 December, 2007
Monday, January 21, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

Hope you Motherfakers had a great weekend, I know I did.  It kicked off on Friday when my episode of MONK aired on USA.  A few of my lines were cut out, but it was still some nice screen time on one of the country's top shows.  And I just found out from my sister, whom I call my publi-sis, that MONK was the 1 rated show in St. Louis on Friday!!!!

I went to bed very early, shortly after that because I had to drive to The Lake of the Ozarks at Tan Tar-A resort for the Special Olympics Global Messengers Leadership Conference.  For those who aren't aware, the Global Messengers of Special Olympics are Special Olympic athletes who speak on behalf of the organization to schools, Congress, corporations and other organizations.  They gather each year to sharpen their skills and hone the message of Special Olympics.

This year, I taught about 20 athletes the art of improvisation and we put on a competition-style showcase for all the attendees.  It was amazing.  The slogan for this years conference was Be A Fan!  and by the time we finished our show, the audience certainly was.  Those athletes really opened up and expressed themselves and the audience found themselves laughing harder than they had ever expected.

I left my house at 5:00am so that I would arrive around 7:30 so I could check in and shower, etc. before the conference and workshops began.  I missed my exit and drove all the way across the state and didn't arrive at Tan Tar-A resort until noon!!!!  When I pulled over at a gas station near Springfield, maps were not available because the ATM was down and they would not accept credit cards.  Jackie Rahm from Special Olympics had to talk me into town.

I was in a horrible mood.  I was sleep-deprived, a bit dirty and road worn and just plain grumbly.  I would not have wanted to be the guy at the bell stand when I arrived.  He gave me pretty convoluted directions that I was not comprehending, and I was mighty grumpy. 

After I arrived, I took a shower, a shave but I was still not in a good mood.  I walked downstairs, worried that I might not be able to teach in this condition.  I opened the door to find about three times the amount of students I thought I'd have and I almost lost it. "I'm not ready for this!" my ego shouted. At this point it was 12:30, I hadn't eaten since the night before and I couldn't even gather my own thoughts, much less a room full of Special Olympians who had been whipped into a frenzy about my workshops for the last month.

Then we started to warm up and do some basic exercises.  Ten minutes in, I was a the top of my game, and so were they.  Every moment was sheer joy.  It's amazing how you can see the gift of improv for what it is when it takes hold of your spirit and guides you through trying times.  And it was so inspirational to see the athletes experiencing it for the first time.  Shy athletes with intellectual disabilities found their voice and their confidence, and some parents were amazed to see their children looking forward to putting on a show. I was delighted to see the smiles and the questions and the inspiring points of view.

One of the students, Justin Dycus enjoyed my note that in improv, we try to bring small bits of information so that we can build the scene together.  I use the familiar improv phrase, "Bring a Brick, Not a Cathedral."  I say it all the time, so to me it's just another image that re-inforces a message.  Justin pointed out, "You can't bring a cathedral to a brick, but you can bring a brick to a cathedral."

"Exactly!" I piped up.  I wrote that down so I could share it with others and I asked him if he had read that somewhere. 

He said, "It's copyrighted." 

I thought he meant that someone else had copyrighted it.  "No," he said.  "I just want to make sure I get credit for it."

I should also mention that Justin was the jokester who mentioned that "IT" is supposed to stand for "Information Technology."

Later, Susie Stufflebaum said, "When a mistake happens you just have to acknowlege it and MOVE ON!"  Susie also demonstrated her talent to do the splits and let everyone know that she prays to Jesus "in her spare time."

After it was over, Rodney Shoaf told me he'd like to make sure we stay in touch and offered to tour with me, in a Tag Team.  I agreed with him when he said that they should all get used to the paparazzi.   I can actually see that happening.

I was told by several people in the leadership of the organization that it was one of the best conferences they've ever had.  Trish Lutz, with whom I worked very closely over the past year or so was getting a bit misty at the end of the program and I started a little waterworks when they presented me with a framed picture of all the athletes and a Be A Fan! T-shirt.  As Rodney would have said, "That there is a Kodak moment."

It was signed by all of the amazing and courageous atheletes in attendance:

Lucas Blattel, Susie Stufflebaum, Brianne Chavez, Rob Eichelberger, Arthur Murphy, Justin O'Bryan, Rodney Shoaf, Shirlene Treadwell, Colin Garrison, Meredith Claypool, Justin Dycus, Chet Hollingshead, Max Homer, Tina Jones, Joe McGuire, Richard Scott, Greg Swinney, Sarah Byland, and Stephanie Littrell.

I do a lot of comedy shows, and often I forget about the improv shows a week after they're done...I won't forget about this show for a LONG time to come.

If you're in Missouri and would like to be a part of Special Olympics, visit: www.somo.org. Nationwide, visit: www.specialolympics.org.

Currently listening:
Special Music From Special Kids
By Kids of Widney High
Release date: 14 February, 1992
Sunday, January 13, 2008 

Category: News and Politics
Hey my good folk, Please read this then click on the link and sign the petition.

John Johnson, of Florissant, Missouri,told the story of how his daughter died in Balad, Iraq. He unflinchingly told the facts that would probably be too graphic for a CSI episode. Her body was found in a smoldering Haliburton tent on July 15, 2005. She had died of a gunshot wound to the head from her own military rifle, which had apparently been fired. The army said that she had accidentally taken her own life. It was, they said, an accident with the gun.

The family initially accepted this, but then the army changed it's finding to suicide. There was no note. The family began to investigate the facts surrounding her death and found that her front teeth were knocked loose, her lips were so smashed that they had to be reconstructed for the funeral, her body had been set on fire, all of her clothes were smoked and scorched, there is evidence that her neck was broken, there was a trail of blood leading into the tent and drag marks, there was smoke in the upper chambers of her heart (indicating that she had breathed the smoke from being set on fire, alive), there had been a bench set on her body and it, too, was scorched. Someone then tried to burn down the tent. Her body was bruised everywhere. The black and white photos that someone had the decency to forward to her father are extremely graphic. They show this and more.

Her father, Dr. Johnson, had her body exumed and another autopsy performed. It indicated that she was very badly beaten, possibly raped, set on fire, and then shot in the head.

Please ask congress to reopen the fase for an official army investigation. What better place for a serial killer to operate than a place like this? Like Balad Iraq? Lavena Johnson was obviously murdered and likely raped beforehand. We can't bring her back, but the people who volunteer to defend our country deserve better. If this killer isn't found, who will be next? Who knows how many people this creep has killed? Or will kill? There is some evidence that Ms. Johnson reported a rape. The murderer may have then made good on his promise to kill her if she talked. What will happen to the next person who irritates this creep? In a place like Iraq, so many people die all the time that one more can be slid into the statistics fairly easily. That is if we all shut up and go for it. Our soldiers deserve the best, in life and in death. Please go to www.lavenajohnson.com and sign the petition. Help her mother and father clear her good name.
Currently listening:
...And Justice For All
By Metallica
Release date: 25 October, 1990
Saturday, January 12, 2008 

Category: Parties and Nightlife

It's Friday night in St. Louis and that means I'll be headed out to party in a bit.  Maybe Lemmon's for a bit and a late nite Slinger at Eat Rite.  I've got kids to teach improv to in the morning.  They deserve a hung over improv teacher...I had plenty!

Ok, so I'll still spend a lot of time here on my MySpace Comedy page, but my intern Katie just kicked my Improv Trick MySpace into Gear.  You gotta love that girl.  So, I'll be hanging out there too, a bit more often.  So if you wanna say "hi" or find out about St. Louis Improv classes, please click HERE.

Tell a friend, or two or three or maybe 9984.  I just did!

Speaking of websites you should check out, I'm proud of some improv trick students from the last week.  St. Louis theatrical Maven and Humanitarian of the Year Joan Lipkin just registered for my improv classes, as did Randy Manning the owner and producer of Jest Murder Mysteries, one of the nations top murder mystery companies.  They both know a lot about the subject, but it never hurts to learn from a new perspective.

I'm also proud of my students in the Creativity Class, in particular Alanna Kellogg, whose cooking website A Veggie Venture has become the number one Cooking Website in the Country.  Check it out.  Did I mention I love food, too?

And finally, I had a great conversation with Naomi Silver who taped the Improv Trick Christmas Jam.  She has a great website you should check out, too.  It's called Culture Surfer.  For a man with so many plugs, I should have a full head of hair.  Well, I need some rest...liquid style.  See you soon.

 

 

 

Currently listening:
Pluggin’ Away
By Peter Alsop
Release date: 01 January, 1990
Tuesday, December 25, 2007 

Category: Religion and Philosophy

Dear Motherfakers,

We begin a new year and wipe the slate clean.  I hope you're having a great Christmas holiday and wishing you a Fractured New Year.  If you haven't been having a great '07, you've got about a week to CRAM IT all into 7 days.

I'll be performing at First Night downdown which is a St. Louis's biggest New Year's Function.   Ed Reggi's Paperslip Theatre is performing at the Grandel Theatre downtown.  I'll be joining in for fun and laughs.
 
Here's a link to it:
 
http://www.grandcenter.org/firstnight/
 
The show schedule is here:
 
http://www.grandcenter.org/firstnight/program.html
 
And portions of the occasion will be broadcast on the local PBS afilliate. How cool is that?  Not that being on PBS is new to me....I'm classy and all.  Perhaps you've heard of a little thing called Curious George on PBS?  Yes, those of you who are aware of my voice talent in the role of Hundley and the Doorman are in the elite crew of those who have a tote bag with the multiple face dude on the side whose faces turn into the PBS logo.

Sha Jang!  There you have it.  That's what I'm doing New Years Eve.  Stalkers, here's your chance to take me out with a bullet right at the stroke of midnight.  Quite the coup.  You're welcome.

Toi Toi,

Unclos Billos

Currently listening:
Teletubbies - All Fall Down - Funny Friends and Terrific Tumbles
Release date: 08 August, 2006
Sunday, December 23, 2007 

Category: News and Politics

God Rest Ye Merry Motherfakers,

Lo and behold, tomorrow is the 2nd Annual Christmas Improv Jam.  I'm really excited for my beginning improv students, as well as my intermediate students.  I can't wait for the JAM.  I JUST CAN'T HOLD IT IN!!!!!  CRAM IT!

Sunday Dec. 23rd at Mad Art Gallery anytime after 7:00pm.  I implore you, if you're in the midwest....JOIN US!!!!

In the meantime, check out how the Texas legislature takes liberties with voting:  Both sides of the aisle are doing the sleaziest thing in broad daylight.  If you live and vote in Texas, they're taking your liberty. Visit this link.  Please let me know what you think in your posts on my blog.

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=6c8_1198266800

A Wise Man,

Great Unca' Bill

Currently listening:
Election Day
By Arcadia