[So this is my short story for Ms. Clements class. Sorry it isn't really "short." Enjoy! oh, and PS, this includes some uh... questionable? content.]
Did I leave the coffee pot on? Shoot, I probably did. But what's the worse that could happen, right? Then again, maybe it wasn't the coffee, maybe it was the stove! Now that wouldn't be good. Knowing me, I probably left a paper towel drenched in vodka sitting right by the fu-
"Listen, can we put this on pause for a sec? I gotta go check the stove." He said, beginning to get off the bed.
"S- sure. I mean… yeah. Go ahead. Did you-? Or, okay… go for it." But he was already at the door by then, wrapped in a sheet. She called out. "Hey, Joe?!" He popped his head back into the room.
"Yeah?"
"Hurry back." She said, trying desperately to hold on to what he had so casually just thrown away. He gave a slight nod and closed the door behind him, rushing toward the kitchen and the stove that was probably on fire. As he walked over and turned off the stove, he noticed the mess that his roommate Nick had left from the night before. Including a bottle of vodka and a paper towel soaked through. Joe was relieved he hadn't blown up the apartment and was getting himself a glass of milk, when suddenly he stopped. You know that lurking feeling you get when you're being watched? Yeah, well, he felt it just then. Like, whoa, a lot.
"How long have you been here, Marissa? And you know, it really is kind of stalker-esque and creepy of you to just be sitting on my couch like that." He had to smile, though. It was so like Marissa to just show up, and he had, after all, given her a key.
"Long enough. And that's what you get for giving me a key." She uncrossed her legs and closed the short distance between them. Joe smiled once more. Wow, is she was pretty or what? He thought to himself. Unfortunately, her face was lacking its usual toothy grin, and in its place were instead a pair of tear stained eyes. "Who is it?"
"Mare, listen, I-"
"Who is it, Joe? Is it her? Amica? "
"Yes. But it's not like that. You know how I…" he didn't even know how to continue. The truth was he knew he had screwed up- again. He had been doing that a lot, actually. It wasn't that he didn't care for her, it was just that, well, he couldn't.
He began to notice in high school. Or rather, his "friends" began to nag him about it more and more often. Why didn't he have a girlfriend? Why didn't he talk to them about his life? Why didn't he hug his parents? He must be some sort of cold-hearted monster. They were wrong, though. He wasn't cold hearted. He liked his parents; but he knew he only felt this because they were the ones who had given him life. He liked his friends, or whatever they were. But that was only because they were a distraction from the loneliness; for even though he was surrounded by people, he just never felt any real sort of connection with anyone. At least, not enough of a connection to actually feel anything for them. He couldn't pinpoint an exact moment in his life when he stopped feeling. There was no huge trauma he had gone through; nothing that would have had that much of an impact. Joe's parents were good people, hard working and pleasant. He had an older brother who he liked well enough, who seemed to love him in return despite his odd ailment, and was the only other person in the world [besides his roommate and Marissa] that he considered a friend. He was fortunate enough to be well liked in school and sought after by many a female. Looking back, it would seem he had lived what appeared to be a pretty good life. Except, for one small thing. It was more than difficult trying to live life as such when you wouldn't, or couldn't, let any one of these people into your heart. It got pretty lonely after a while. He knew he wanted to open the door for someone, but for some reason unbeknownst to him, that blood-pumping organ in his chest was only good for just that- pumping blood- and his brain could never find anyone truly worthy. What was the point? Why waste his time? So he shut down his fruitless attempt at having emotions and closed off his heart of anything non-circulatory related. That's why it didn't bother him to speak his mind without hindrance, because there was no one he cared enough to hurt. It didn't faze him to hook up with everyone and anyone. Again, they were only just distractions, a way to pass the time. Plus, he was a crazy flirt. He liked to have fun. He was a party all night, sleep all day, live by the seat of your pants kind of guy. He was Joe Jonas, teenage heart throb, living life in the moment and loving every second of it. But now? He was Joe Jonas, pushing thirty, working for pennies and drifting through life in a thick fog of mistakes and regrets. And he was an idiot.
"You are an idiot. No, I'm sorry, I'm the idiot. A complete moron to believe you could change. I don't even know how I was so naive." Marissa turned back to the couch, reaching for her bag. Joe's eyes automatically went to her bottom half. No! I have to stop that. I mean, what am I doing? She's amazing. Talented. Beautiful. Why can't I see her for what she is? I want her in my life. I need her in my life. I'm sitting here talking to myself while she's heading for the door!
"Mare, wait! Don't go. I- I don't want you to go."
"And I don't think she'd want me to stay." She said, nodding toward the bedroom that he had momentarily forgotten. "So I'm going to go. Don't expect me back for a while. I'm done waiting. Now it's your turn to wait." She turned around, her hand on the front door. "Give me a call when you've decided to go out and buy yourself a heart." And she was gone, just like that. Joe sighed and made his way back to his bedroom, which contained a bed, with a girl named Amica underneath the sheets, and an afternoon he surely wouldn't remember tomorrow.
There was an instant connection when they had met. Marissa had a way of looking past his obvious disdain for people-to-people connections and seeped into his mind. Before long, she was his only real life line, flowing through his veins in search of his heart. Unfortunately for her, Joe still could not let her in. He wanted to, no doubt about it, but he just could not. So he settled for being with her everyday, letting her scent sink into the fabric of his clothes when they hugged and her laugh ring in his ears hours after they had parted. And he knew her feelings for him stretched those of a normal friendship, which made things infinitely more awkward and difficult to work through. He felt the same towards her; he knew he wanted to, anyway. Joe knew that a life without Marissa wouldn't be any kind of life he wanted to live. She was his constant, his reason to keep going. Yet something always came along to mess him up when things were going great. He had no one to blame but himself, and he did everyday. Then again, there was nothing he could do about it now. She was gone, and he knew she had meant it when she said she wasn't coming back until a miracle had occurred. Too bad he didn't believe in miracles.
"What do you mean I have to leave? I thought we were… you know?" Amica stared at Joe from his bed as he began to put on some actual clothes, like the pair of jeans that sat bundled at the foot of his king-sized.
"Know what, Amica? What do you think we're doing here anyway?" he walked over to his closet and grabbed a t-shirt that he quickly pulled over his head. What is she getting at here? I hope she doesn't think we're like… oh no. She probably does. Great, now how am I gonna-
"She's right you know." Joe suddenly snapped back to reality.
"What?"
"You aren't going to be able to truly happy until you grow out of this permanent… funk that you seem to be cemented in." he still seemed confused, so she continued. "The other day, remember when I called?" he nodded, grabbing a pair of socks from his drawer. "I had told you I made dinner plans for you and me and no one else." He looked up at her. "And no. That does not include your crazy friends. Seriously, when you brought along Nick and Kevin I thought that was it- I was just gonna get up and leave. But I didn't. I gave you a second chance and it just blew up in my face. Apparently I got the message sooner than that chick." Amica gestured toward the living room, a sad sort of look on her face. "Lucky me."
"Look, I'm sorry. But I have to get ready. My brother and his wife are down from L.A. for Nick's engagement party. I really have to get ready." He gave a little shrug and stood there, not knowing what else to say. Amica sighed.
"No, I'm sorry. Just give me a sec to get dressed and I'll be out of your hair." Joe left her in the bedroom to finish her business and grabbed his cell phone off of the hallway counter. It was one in the afternoon and Nick still hadn't called him about the party that was scheduled for later on that night. He watched as Amica slipped out of his bedroom, grabbed her keys from the counter, and open the door. He attempted a wave, but she just turned around and closed the door behind her. Joe couldn't help thinking, Well, there goes yet another person who will never speak to me again. Kinda sucks, though. She was good in bed.
His sophomore year in high school he met a girl at the party of a mutual friend. Jojo was a senior. A smart, funny, wild, and beautiful older woman. [They're always beautiful, aren't they?] They began to see each other more often thanks to Joe's involvement with the school's fall play. Jojo and he would be playing the leads opposite each other both on and off stage. Sure, people talked, but Joe didn't care about things like that. Besides, when he was with Jojo, seated in the passenger seat of her ruby red Cobalt, music blasted and his head in the clouds, he didn't need anything else. Just being alive was good enough. Well, at least for the moment. You see, eventually, their close friendship led to a close "friendship"; apparently, just being alive wasn't good enough anymore. This didn't really seem like a problem to Joe at the start. Heck, he was making it with a hot senior! But he was young still, and didn't know that getting mixed up in that sort of relationship- no matter how wise and mature the other person involved may seem- wasn't a good idea. Jojo fell in love. And it was easier than one would think. I mean, Joe was good-looking, a natural comedian, and he was free. He was that guy we all know at one point in our lives; the one with the perpetual smile and not a care in the world. Living life without attachments of any kind will do that to you. Of course, it will also make people start to wonder about just how detached you really are. Make them want to save you. Unfortunately, Joe didn't want to be saved and he had no intention of being in love either. What followed was a year of messy fights, hard-hitting scandal, unexpected back-stabbing, and much more drama than he expected he would receive from being in only one stupid play. Much more drama than he needed, frankly. He promised himself then that he would stay away from all the drama. If he was going to be involved with someone, it was only going to be purely physical, no feelings attached, and he was going to make sure everyone knew that. He couldn't risk another year like that one. Though Jojo was the first person that would try and "save" him from himself, she wouldn't be the last.
"Dude, we need to talk." Joe had finally contacted his roommate Nick and was now seated in front of him and his older brother Kevin. He was told that tonight would be the engagement ceremony/bachelor party. His friends, on the other hand, had different plans. And he had so been looking forward to a night of booze and girls, girls, girls.
"What now, guys? What happened to the party?" Kevin shook his head.
"That's next week, dumbass." Joe looked at the both of them, their faces showing obvious disappointment. He just shrugged it off.
"Oh."
"Joe, do you even remember why we're having the party? I'm getting married, man. MARRIED!" Joe was a bit taken aback. Nick never raised his voice. He must be pretty ticked. Joe thought while Nick continued. "Do you know what that means?"
"Uh… you're no longer allowed out on the weekends? What?! Don't give me those looks. What else am I supposed to say?" he looked from Kevin to Nick and back to Kevin again. This wasn't going to be good. Finally, Nick spoke once more.
"I'm moving out, dude."
"What?!"
"You heard me. What did you expect, that Katy would just move in here with us?" Nick had to laugh at the look on Joe's face. A look that said, 'Well, yeah…' "I doesn't mean we aren't going to still be friends. I mean, come on bros for life, right? It just means… well…" Kevin cut in.
"What Nick is trying and failing miserably to say is that you're going to need to learn to live on your own." Joe suddenly stood up.
"Live on my own? I'm not a baby, you guys! I know how to take care of myself." Joe paced back and forth for a bit, breathing deeply. "I'm not a child." Kevin spoke up.
"We aren't saying that, what we're saying is-"
"Dude, you're THIRTY! Look at yourself. You work at Starbucks for goodness sake! And you don't even get paid enough to provide for your habitual partying. Hell, you don't get paid enough to provide for FOOD. But you like that job because it's easy and you get to talk to hot chicks all day. But you know what? Your charm will only get you so far. How are you going to survive in this city without a heart? Huh? This is New York! It's big, and it's cold, and it can get pretty effing lonely without someone to love. I mean, you don't even talk to your parents, who are the sweetest people I've ever met by the way, because you don't know how to love them the way they deserve to be loved. And you just lost the most amazing and darn near perfect woman in the city to that selfish heart of yours!" The room was silent for a good minute. In his fever, Nick had stood up and had in turn, knocked Joe off his feet. Nick's cheeks got flush as Kevin started to laugh and give him his own little round of applause. He sat down next to Joe, embarrassed and gave a little nervous chuckle. Kevin's laughter finally subsided and he turned to Joe.
"Well, Nick pretty much said it all, bro. You know?" Joe looked up. His eyes had been fixed on point at the other side of the room. It was her ring, the one he had one for her out of one of those silly crane machines. And now there it was, just laying there on his kitchen counter, discarded. He could just make it out twinkling in the dull light of the dining room. He hadn't been sure why this was happening to him. He hadn't done anything wrong… really. Of course, he knew that perhaps he hadn't been there when he might have been needed; perhaps he could have tried harder to at least look like he cared. But he just couldn't help himself. He just didn't caaaare. Or, he tried to tell himself that he didn't. Joe's head was racing; he was beginning to realize something important, he knew it. Wow, Nick is totally right. I'm a bum. A loser. A big, fat hobo. I need to get off my big butt, get out into the world and do something. I'll just call Mare and- Oh lord, Marissa! How could I have been so stupid? Marissa is… I'm such a… I need to… I need to stop talking to myself.
"I'm going out." Kevin and Nick both turned their heads at the sudden noise. Before either of them could properly react, Joe was already at his hallway closet. Kevin got up from his sedentary position.
"Wait! Don't go get yourself drunk. We can stay home a bit and work this out." Nick crossed over to Joe who had by this time already put on his coat and was looking for his keys.
"Yeah, Joe. If you really need a drink or something, let me run down to the corner and get us a bottle of something. I really don't think you should be roaming the streets. Besides, there's still some much you don't understand and I sorta wanted to apologize for-"
"I'm sorry." Joe said, still searching for his keys in one of the many drawers in their hallway counter. "But have you seen my keys?" Kevin held out his hand, the keys placed neatly in the center of his upturned palm.
"Here they are. We really don't want you to go, but if you insist…"
"What are you two babbling about? I'm not going to a bar." This made both guys stand up straighter, interested.
"Then where are you going?" Nick asked, tentatively.
"I'm gonna get me a heart."
Damn it's cold. Joe thought, as his foot hit the bottom stair of his apartment building. It was February in New York City. Not a good time to be walking the streets, but then again, he was on a mission. Wait, it's February… He took out his cell phone. It read 7:05 pm- Feb. 14. Oh my goodness, it's actually February14th, Valentines Day. How appropriate. He decided he was going to have to stop by a florist. After all, this was going to be a special occasion. Now what kind of flowers does she like… Daises? No, those are too boring. I know she hates roses. She's always going on about how unoriginal and stereotypical they are. I think they might have been tulips. Yeah, black tul- Fuck! Joe looked down at his thigh which was in an incredible amount of pain. Almost as if he had just been stabbed. Oh wait, he had been.
"What the hell, man?" He turned to his side and saw a man seated on the sidewalk, huddled next to a cardboard box and going through a trash bag full of well, trash. Joe just stared. This man was mumbling to himself and continued to search the bag, chucking aluminum cans into a rickety shopping cart parked to his right. But he didn't seem the least bit concerned with the fact that he had just STABBED someone. "Yo, dude! You there, buddy? You know you just freakin' stabbed me and… I… uh." Joe's words began to become slurred and his head got dizzy. But even through his wooziness and his oncoming nausea, he still felt that pain. And an irrepressible anger. A feeling he had to make this man aware of. "You…you know… that wasn't very nice. I might… might press charges and…" And then everything went black.
Joe Jonas, 29, had been stabbed by a bum. No need to sugar-coat it: He had been stabbed in the thigh with a screwdriver… by a bum. Apparently, you can't really turn in a screwdriver for any type of cash, which made it of no interest to this man. He was on his way to Marissa's apartment. He was going to apologize. He was going to explain everything. All about how he finally realized why he didn't have the ability to feel. It wasn't a personal trauma. No family secret that had driven him cold. There weren't any real reasons for it, so far as he could tell. Maybe he didn't like tension. Maybe that little bit of drama his sophomore year of high school had killed his desire to get to know people. Or perhaps it was the fact that the family cat died when he was five. He wasn't sure now about all of that. He only knew one thing. He needed to see Marissa. He needed to tell her he loved her. Because he did, didn't he? He really did. Now all he had to do was get up and let her know. But he couldn't. He couldn't get up. What the..? How had he ended up here? Where exactly was here?
"Oh my God! Did you just see that?! His eyelids! He's waking up! He's awake! Quick! He's awake!" There was a flurry of sounds and Joe could tell there was quite a bit of a commotion going on in the room. He slowly opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but felt a rush of pain shoot to his head, so he lay back down. Looking around, he saw that the room was empty. Where was everyone? Without warning, there was a flood of people and Joe wasn't sure who to look at first. He saw his brother and his wife Colby standing near the back. Colby was holding onto a tearful Amica. Huh, I didn't know they knew each other. Funny how a tragedy can bring people together. Oh yeah, I'm in the hospital aren't I? Wow. He continued to look at the faces, stopping for a second on Nick and his fiancée Katy. He was about to look away when he noticed that she was coming toward him.
"Hey." She said, obviously feeling kind of awkward.
"Yo."
"I know we haven't really talked a lot. And now I'm like, marrying your best friend and, well…" She turned to Nick. "Get over here you big baby and tell him yourself!" Katy grabbed Nick's arm and pulled him right up by Joe's bed.
"Hey, what's up?" Nick said sheepishly.
"Nothing much. You know, other than getting stabbed and all." Joe smiled, but his face fell when he noticed Nick had lowered his head and his shoulders were shaking. He looked up with red eyes.
"Dude! Don't you ever scare us like that ever again… like, ever! I mean, Katy was, like, freaking out and… you know, yeah." Joe chuckled.
"Don't worry. I'll try to stay away from hobos." Nick gave a weak smile as Katy dragged him over to a couch on the far side of the room. Joe's eyes continued searching the room, passing over a tall woman in a white coat who he assumed to be the doctor. He looked back at Kevin, hoping that he could read his mind. Kevin slowly shook his head no and looked down. Wow. Joe thought. She was serious. I guess that's it, then. Stabbed on Valentines Day and stuck in the hospital. He heard a soft knock at the door to his room. Looking up, his face broke out into a huge smile. It was her.
"Marissa!"
"Hey Joe…" Kevin gave Colby a look and she walked a still crying Amica into the lobby. He then turned his attention to the couch.
"Hey Katy, do you want to come with me and get some coffee. From the looks of it, Nick could use some as well." Katy smiled, took Nick by the arm once more and followed Kevin from the room. The doctor also left with a nod at Joe and a small wink directed at Marissa. Joe was still looking at her. She looked amazing, of course. He could tell she had just gotten there. Her cheeks were a cute shade of pink from the cold outside and her breathing was slightly heavy, probably because she had just ran all the way up to his room the second she got off the subway. Her hair was a mess and her mascara looked smudged. But still, she was perfect. She stood by his bed, now, looking down at him with sad eyes.
"How are you? I mean, I know how you are. Or, actually, I have no idea. It's just- I'm sure you've heard that all day and… I'm just going to stop talking. Heh." Marissa looked down at her hands, embarrassed. Joe's hand appeared next to hers and she looked at him as he entwined his fingers in hers. She couldn't help but smile. Joe was happy to see her face brighten, just the way it was supposed to look. Marissa's ace became worried. "What were you even doing out?! It's like, the coldest day ever and you're out roaming the dark streets like some sort of hoodlum. Who do you think you are, Superman or something? Like, come on, Joe, seriously."
"Actually, I was on my way to see you."
"Oh." She said, her cheeks becoming an even darker shade of pink. "What for?"
"Well, I finally realized why I don't have a heart. You know, cause it's been missing for a while now, if you hadn't noticed." Marissa rolled her eyes. And giggled.
"Oh. No. I wouldn't say that."
"Well, I think I know what happened to it."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, really. It was stolen." Marissa let out a sudden, loud laugh.
"Aha, I see. And do you have any idea who the thief is?" she said, through her giggling. Joe nodded.
"Mhmm. It was you." Marissa stopped laughing at looked straight at Joe, whose eyes hadn't left hers the whole time.
"What?"
"You heard me. You're a dirty thief, and I want my heart back."
"But I… I mean… what?" Joe pulled her down so that she was now sitting beside him on his bed and sat up as best he could.
"You. My heart's been missing for a long time now, and I finally realized it's because you stole it from me, that first day we met. I think the rest of me hasn't been working properly without it, because- Well, because I love you. I have all along, I just didn't know it." Joe broke his gaze away from Marissa. "Whoa. That didn't sound so lame in my head. I'm sorry. I think that Cupid guy must have gotten me. Maybe it was really him that stabbed me. You know, if he was really dirty and smelled… heh." Joe finally looked up to see Marissa staring down at him.
"No, I'm the one that should be sorry. I hadn't realized." She bent down so that her face was inches from his. "Here, I believe this belongs to you." She closed the distance between them and Joe thought to himself for the last time. Huh, so this is what it's like to feel. Sweet!
[So yeah. Hope you liked it. If not, then, there's a nice place over there in the corner where you can fuck yourself. :]]