There are a lot of rumours out there but thought i'd just stop one before it gets out of hand.
NO my hips DON'T lie!

Here are some more library signs that I have used in the last two weeks

17/7/06

Boy 1: Did you hear the library is clothed today?
Boy 2: Cothed?
Boy 1: Yeah clothed?
Boy 2:...who told you that?
Boy 1: That kid with all the mouth ulcers
Boy 2: Oh

The Library is CLOSED today
and remember kids, don't listen to that kid with all the mouth ulcers!

21/7/06

LIBRARY CLOSED TODAY AT LUNCH
Because...umm...well you see...I just need...to...umm...yeah...umm...it's not...umm...look over there (Josh Hurries Away)

28/7/06

Josh: Knock knock
You: Who's there?
Josh: the Library
You: The Library Who?
Josh: The Library is closed today!

You: That's not funny Josh
Josh: Yeah, it's funny cos it's true

Sometimes at my work I have to put a sign up so the students know that we are not open at lunch. Here a few that I've used so far this year:

In the words of Snoop Dogg 'The Librizzle is Closizzled Todizzle"

The Library is closed for Lunch but it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault,it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault...

The Libray is closed today, look it's not you it's us. we just don't think we should be seeing each other, it's complicated. We will still be friends though, great, we knew you'd understand.

Pop Quiz

I Bet You Look Good On The Dancefloor - The Arctic Monkeys
Really? Youre just saying that. I mean how can you tell from that angle anyway, you cant even see my legs from where youre sitting
You Made Me Forget My Dreams -Belle And Sebastian
Well Im sorry but you were going to be late for work, maybe you should keep a dream diary, that way you can write them all down, I know theyre incredibly daggy but if you get so worked up over forgetting them maybe its something you should invest in

Is It Wicked Not To Care? - Belle And Sebastian
No, but it is a bit rude, I mean you did ask how is work? if you didnt want to know just dont ask.

You've Been Flirting Again - Björk
UmmmNo I havent and even if I was how is it any of your business? You send out so many mixed messages, are we? arent we? Just a phone call would be nice

Whatever Happened To My Rock & Roll - Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Joe took it. You werent using it so I said he could borrow it. I didnt think youd mind, it was just sitting there for months collecting dust. I can call him and get to bring it around. Dont worry, Joes good like that.

Dont You Think Its Time? - Bob Evans
No, It says on the packet that we have to give it at least twenty minutes for the colour to take, otherwise itll be patchy.

Ever Fallen In Love With Someone You Shouldn't Have - The
Buzzcocks
YES, oh my god, it was my first year at Uni and I thought she was all cool and arty. Anyway lets just say that I can not watch Les Miserables the same way.



Dont Panic - Coldplay
Thats easy for you to say, I told him that we had to wait twenty minutes, now Im going to have to go into a salon and theyre going to lecture me about home colouring and how I should always get professionals to do it. And you can tell Bob Evans that Thursday Racquetball is off!

I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
Dont. You know I get scared of the dark and you always say you wont but you squeeze my sides and it scares the shit out of me. No, you go first.

Do You Wanna Hit It? - Donnas
Not really, to be honest I didnt even want to come tonight, but I just didnt think I could take another Friday night at home. I only came because I thought Kate was going to be here but obviously she isnt so that was a waste of a cab fare, and now I have to go all the way back to the other side of town sorry what was the question? Umm, no, Im fine thanks

(Whats So Funny About) Peace Love And Understanding -
Elvis Costello
I suppose you just had to be there.

Do You Want To? - Franz Ferdinand
No, Ive just worked a double shift and my feet are killing me, but you can if you want, I wont mind

Did You Feel It Too The Go! Team
Yeah, I bet it was Death Cab for Cutie, he said he wouldnt but he just cant help himself. Jerk

Hate To Say I Told You So The Hives
No you dont, you love it, look at you, youre smiling. Yeah, well how was I to know, she seemed genuine enough, anyway I called the cops and I guess we just have to wait now




Dont Want To Know If You Are Lonely - Husker Du
Fine but then dont ask me how my weekend was if you dont want me to be honest! Man you can be a dick sometimes, just get out of my office and tell Janice I need the Invoice from Spectrum by this afternoon or its coming out of her pay.

I Want You Back The Jackson Five
I told you already Ive moved on. And if I recall correctly you broke up with me, so stop ringing my mum, it makes her feel awkward.

Can't Get You Out Of My Head Kylie Minogue
I know, its annoying isnt it. Sometimes I lay in bed at night and for the life of me can not get to sleep, I mean my voice just seems to register this thing in some peoples head. Its so annoying.

Whats Yr Take On Cassavetes - Le Tigre
well Im not that familiar with his work but it seems that you hold quite strong opinions on him so I might just stay out of this debate if that is alright with you.

Don't Look Back Into The Sun - The Libertines
Look, dont take this the wrong way but I dont really think that you guys are the best people to be giving others advice. But seeing as you guys seem to be going through a bit at the minute, just for arguments sake I wont look back into the sun. Alright? Happy now? But I am waiting for someone who said he was coming from the west which is where the sun is.

Let Me Kiss You - Nancy Sinatra
OK but can you brush your teeth first, because, and dont take this the wrong way, but did you eat Doritos?

Dont Look Back In Anger - Oasis
I wont, but Im still waiting for this guy who said he would be here by now, and I made a promise to the Libertines that I wouldnt look back that way and now I fear that I missed him!

Here Comes Your Man The Pixies
Thank God! Where have you been, did you get my text message. Thanks Frank, for pointing him out.
Are You The One? - The Presets
The one who looks like you? Yeah thats me

How Soon Is Now? - The Smiths
Look if I have to tell you one more time Im going to stop this car and turn around. If you two cant sit back there nicely there will be no ice-cream for anyone.

Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before - The Smiths
STOP!

(was I) In Your Dreams - Wilco
Thats so weird because just last night I had this dream where we were both at the same school and then all my teeth fell out and I tried to run but I couldnt and then James was there but it wasnt James it was Macho Man Randy Savage

How Much Is Enough -You Am I
I think album number four was about it. Sorry.

Please Don't Ask Me To Smile - You Am I
But you have a nice smile and you always look so grumpy in photos and when I show people pictures of you who dont know you are they always say whats up with this guy and Im like no, Tim is really nice, he is just self conscious about his teeth

This isn't a joke but more of a plan. I'm really good at covering books alright, and i thought, what could be a cool thing to do would be if people have books that they need covering they could pay me in a mix tape or CD (no money) I could cover your book(s) for you, like how it would work is that you could message me with like "Covering Emergency" as the header, we organise to meet up, you give me your books (Text Books, School Books, novels etc) and a mix CD of songs that you like (Make sure they're songs you like, your favourite songs) and I'll cover them for you.
Just an idea