I just hit my 100 lb milestone a few weeks ago and have been stuck since.  My stats:
From August 2007-August 2008 258-231  -27 lbs
From August 2008 to now 158 lbs  -73 lbs (I really got serious at this point)

My goal is to be 145 bt June 15.  My weight loss has slowed down considerably since I am closer to my overall goal 130-135 lbs

4/13 158lbs

Other goals- I eat about 1500 cals a day or 25-27 points that works for me since I am active.  On gym days I eat 1700-1800 cals since I burn about 500-700 cals while there( I am a cardio maniac)  I do weights and crunches at home.  I want to go to the gym more.  I haven't gone in 2 weeks yikes.  I still do weights and crunches at home.  I need to also up my fruit and veggie intake.  I have been relying on 100 cal packs and kashi or fiber one bars as snacks.  They are fine once in a while but I want to eat cleaner.  

If I am being honest myself I think I have been slacking since hitting the 100 lb mark.  I have cheated more and ate more than my 1500 cals and gone over points.  I need to get back on track.

BTW WW ice cream candy bars are so good they are 3 pts.  It is hard to eat just one.  Last week I skipped  a meal and just ate 2 for dinner not good at all.

A reminder of how far I have come.
My high weight of 258 my obesity collage



258lbs


Summer 2008 231 lbs


I had no neck Spring 2008


Now 158lbs 4/11/09



March 2009 161 lbs

In my world anyway. ....... I know that love can be wonderful thing.  I am thankful that I got to experience requited love in my lifetime once.  But I can't help but feel sorry for myself since Valentine's day is tomorrow.  I have work til Ten then I'm going to watch some movies, boy am I pathetic.  Alot of my friends are in relationships and I'm the perpetual 3rd, 4th, 5th or whatever wheel. It gets tiring after a while. 

My happy place is at a good concert. 

Bands or Artists I have seen live
Dashboard Confessional 3x

Jimmy Eat World

Cypress Hill

Linkin Park 4x

Stone Temple Pilots

Staind

Static X

Counting Crows

Incubus 3x

Hoobastank 2x

Ozzy Osbourne

Pearl Jam

Willie Nelson

311

Adema

Crosby Stills and Nash

Nsync 2x

Britney Spears 2x

The Deftones

New Kids on the Block

Thrice

The Get Up Kids

Maroon 5

Bush

Green Day

Fiona Apple

Coldplay

Papa Roach

Clay Aiken

Kelly Clarkson

Say Anything

Ben Lee

John Ralston

Story of the Year

Fallout Boy

Kelis

The Gym Class Heroes

System of a Down

POD

 

I think I am missing some.  I need a concert buddy. I have missed far too many shows lately due to the fact that I don't want to go alone.

PS I HELLA WANT TO GO TO THE JOHN RALSTON SHOW WITH KATIE THIS WEEKEND[sad face]

I find this highly amusing = D

When something good happens who do you call first?  When something bad happens who's your first call to?  Most people have a first call in their life.  Someone who will be there for you no matter what.  You can call them for anything whether it be earth shattering news or just to tell them what you are having for dinner.  I used to have a first call.  I used to be a first call, but those days are over.  I have friends but I don't have anyone that I can call for any reason as many as 3-4 times a day. I don't really even have friends that I talk to on the phone on a regular basis anymore. I need to let go of my former first call but I can't.

This probably doesn't even make any sense.

So 2007 is over, all I can say is GOOD RIDDANCE.  Honestly things in my life have been in a downward spiral since about 2005.  Every year gets worse, but this year takes the cake.

I realized alot this year.

  I realized that honestly I can really only count on myself.  I realized that you can be really great friends with some and in a blink of an eye you become a mere acquaintance. I hate myself for caring so much about people who really couldn't care less about me.  I'm so over it all, sometimes I feel like I have no one.  I feel like I have no friends and this is the first year I really felt like that and it hurts.

Things have to be better this year.  There isn't much lower that I can go.  My goal for this year is to believe that yes, I am a worthwhile person.  And to start treating myself like I am. To be healthy and fit.  And lastly to get rid of the garbage and negative energy in my life.  I also need to learn to let go.  Things will never be the same so I need to get over it.

 

Some updates in my life since I haven't blogged in quite a while.

I had a great Christmas.  I love my family they are the best and the love me no matter what.  I had a good time spending time with my entire extended family.

New Years I had work so yea now much to do.  I was alone at midnight just as I wanted to be. 

Work is going well.

Love life is non exsistent, but hey whats new?

Last week I had the night from hell. My 14 year old cousin was in town for the holidays.  Her favorite band the Jonas Brothers were in town and they were going to have a meet and greet and the Verizon Store in Natomas.  I agree to take her.  When I was her age I had no one to take me places both of my parents worked during the day. Our plan was to get there at 6am to wait in line.  Well there power of the internet let us know that people were going to spend the night.  We pack up our jackets and blankets and get there.  No joke there are tons of people there.  We were told that there were 200 people there by 11pm.  We got there at Midnight and they had the cars lined up in order.  We get in line and it's freezing cold.  I had on 3 jackets and a blanket I slept for about 2 hrs.  The next day at 6 am the Douche bag jerk who was running the thing got there and he was a total dick.  Typical arrogant bastard on a power trip.  I guess I can't really blaming him there were about 50 parents yelling at him complaining that they have been there since 6am.  I was like STFU we have been here all night.  Some people even drove up from Los Angeles 7 hr drive YIKES!  Well anywhoo to make a long story short.  After spending the night in the cold in teenie bopper hell.  They didn't have enough Meet and Greet passes.  There were so many people there.  I was shocked, I never even heard of them before my cousin told me about them.  I felt so bad for my cousin, at that age it can be soul crushing.  Hell I have felt that way when Chris Carrabba peaced out on us in Berkeley.

Here are the Jonas Brothers in case you are wondering who they are....

 

There was a huge storm last week on Friday throughout California.  It was really windy and raining.  We lost our back fence and power for a few hrs.  My computer wouldn't turn back so I got it fixed.  So to all my friends who left me messages and comments I will get back to you asap.  I have been doing extra hrs at work and I worked a 12 hr day on Saturday.  I can't wait til Wednesday when I'm off.  Dieting has been good despite not having my Etools on Weightwatchers.com. Right now I'm about to crawl into bed and watch October Road.

So today was weigh in day and I lost 3.5 lbs last week. I am going to let myself eat whatever I want on Christmas eve and Christmas.  Next weeks blog may not be so great.  But I have no doubt that 2008 will be my year to get to goal.

PS watching the Biggest Loser finale has inspired me.  They all look great and lost the weight the good old fashioned way, diet and exercise.  The whole cast minus Amy has impressed me.  GO KAE!  After years of resorting to unhealthy drastic measures to lose weight(diet pills, radical diets, plus other unmentionable things) I'm fully prepared for a lifestyle change. 

biggest loser season 4 cast

So I'm chatting with Katie on AIM and we are talking about 100 greatest songs of the 90's on VH1 and I started thinking of some of my guilty pleasures.

Some of my giulty pleasures......

 

*90's boy bands:  I really couldn't care less about POP music these days.  I can't stand Justin Timberlake, Fergie, Akon, and most top 40 music these days but hand me a Backstreet Boys and Nsync CD and I will listen to it. 
Degrassi the Next Generation. Basically I love Canadian TV whether it's this or old school Anne of Avonlea I can't get enough.

I watched Degrassi when I was a kid back in the 80's and I love the new Degrassi.

High School Musical, yes I said it.  I watched it with my nephew and yes I liked it so sue me.

Fallout Boy-I don't want to like them but I do.

 America's Most Smartest Model-Man I loved this show.

The Food Network.....I'm on a diet yet I love to watch this station.  My faves Tyler Florence, Alton Brown, Paula Deen, Giada, I pretty much watch it all.

 

Okay so it's extremely late, so my grammar is not at it's best so forgive me and have a wonderful Christmas. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and one lastthing this is one of my favorite Christmas songs

So VH1 will be airing the top 100 songs of the 90's next week.  That has inspired me to compile my own list of 30.  I'm a nerd, I know but as far as I'm concerned the 90's had great music and I wanted to reminisce.  I loved it all, alternative, rap, even pop was enjoyable.

Here's my list.  I tried to keep it to one song per band/artist:

 

1. Radiohead-Creep This song is the theme song to my life.

2. Pearl Jam-Black

3. Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg- Dre Day

4.  Jodeci-Come and Talk to Me remix

5. Weezer-Say it Aint So

6. Green Day-When I Come Around

7. Shai-Comforter

8. Tupac-I Aint Mad Atcha

9. Paperboy-Ditty

10. Sublime-Santeria

11. Foo Fighters-Everlong

12. Method Man and Redman-Da Rockwilder

13. The Gin Blossoms-Hey Jealousy

14. Boys to Men-Motownphilly

15. Stone Temple Pilots-Interstate Love Song

16. The Wallflowers-6th Avenue Heartache

17. The Verve Pipe-The Freshman

18. Nsync-I Want You Back

19. Blackstreet-Don't Leave

20. Bush-Glycerine

21. No Doubt-Sunday Morning

22. Nirvana-Come As You Are

23. Bel Biv Devo-POISON!

24. 311-All Mixed Up

25. Counting Crows-Mr. Jones

26. 112 feat. Biggie Smalls and Mase-Only You remix

27. Tonic-If You Could Only See

28. Notorious B I G- Juicy

29. Tool-Sober

30. Live- The Dolphin's Cry

This was extremely hard to do.  To narrow the list to 30 was hard because the 90's had such great music.

I feel really really old now[sad face]

 

So after the show we went to BJ's  for dinner and I consumed four diet cokes.  Yikes, now the caffeine is keeping me up, so what better time to blog.

I didn't really want to go to the show tonight but I'm glad I did...........

I like Fallout Boy.  I don't want to but I do. I'm not a die hard fan, I don't know all the songs in their catalogue.  I don't know all the band member's names.  I wouldn't travel to see them.  But I have their songs on my I tunes and on my gym playlists. 

One thing I have to give them credit for is that they put on one hell of a show.  I thought I would be irritated by the teeny boppers but I wasn't.  When I was 13 I acted the same way so who am I to judge.  Don't get me wrong I'm sure I'll get irritated again but I'm going to cut them some slack.  I had a good time at the show.  I was with good company and we all enjoyed the show. 

We got there late ( we had seats, good seats at that)  and missed Plain White Tees which didn't bother me at all.  I'm not into them.  Gym Class Heroes effin rocked.  They had a pretty short set unfortunately but I got to hear the Queen and I so I was content.

 

FOB opened with Sugar We're Going Down.  I hate that song so does Chris so I called him lol.  They played an extra long set and I enjoyed it.  The only thing I didn't like were some of the videos being played.  Pete did all the talking of course and Patrick was pretty shy.  Everyone goes gaga over Pete Wentz but there is something about Patrick Stump that is intriguing.  It may be the fact that I love dorks.  Anywhoo they did a cover of The Killer's Mr. Brightside that rocked.

Right before Gym Class Heroes someone came out and sang Soulja Boy.  I hate that song and I'm not even sure who was singing it.  Everyone went crazy and started to do the Soulja Boy dance in uniform.  I don't how to do the dance but even if I did, I doubt I would I can't dance.  I saw whoever sings that song briefly on the Ellen Degeneres show.  He was teaching her how to do that dance but I had to leave.  I felt clueless, oh well I don't really like rap anymore.  Old school rap was the shit.  The new stuff is silly to me.

I will not play at tug o' war.
I'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugs
Instead of tugs,
Where everyone giggles
And rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kisses,
And everyone grins,
And everyone cuddles,
And everyone wins.

Shel Silverstein

As far as I'm concerned these are the best commercials ever......
Seriously watch them all.








They really need to make commercials like these again

So there are alot of shitty things about my life.  There are also some really great things.  Since Thanksgiving is next I decided to compile a list of what I'm thankful for.

*My mom and dad are number one on my list they are truly the best parents ever.

*My 2 sisters Mary and Lori we are so close.

*My nephew Jason brings such joy to my life

*I have a great job with great benefits.  I complain about it sometimes but I am so thankful for it.

*My extended family.  We are extremely close too.

*My friends that actually care about me.  I can count them on one hand.

*Here's to new friends who get me.

*The fact that I have place to live and that I have a car.

*My health, since losing almost 40 lbs this year I feel so much better.  I still have a long way to go and everyday is an inner battle. 

*Music, is something I cannot live without.  It is almost everything to me.  I am thankful that there are still some great  musicans out there making outstanding music.  If it wasn't for them I could be stuck listening to that vile top 40 crap
on the radio.

Wow this list is so much smaller then it was last year.  That sucks, this hasn't exactly been the best year and I feel so, I don't know I can't even describe it. 

Some things have been bugging me lately that I just need to get off my chest....

I hate it when people type like "dis" and "dat" or even LiKe tHiS. 

I hate it when the person driving in front of me decides to make a complete stop without merging to make a right turn.

Grillz are not hot.

Everyone knows about my extreme dislike for Justin Timberlake.  Thats old news, what bugs me are the outraged gasps that I get from people when they find out.

Jaywalkers-I mean come everyone has done it.  I have total disdain for people who walk into traffic, with their head down texting.  Are they asking to be hit?

I am still upset about the DC concert and upset that no one cared enough about me to go.

Degrassi(yes I still watch this show I can't help it I watched the original from the 80's)  Oh my god this show has to be so dramatic sometimes and they repeat storylines.

Now not all of this blog is negative......

Some recent raves:

BBC America

Hairspray comes out on DVD on Tuesday woo hoo

Chance and Real will be on I love New York next week

Amy got kicked off the Biggest Loser

Jimmy Eat World-Chase this Light

The Color Fred is awesome

South Beach Diet frozen meals

Joseph Fiennes

 

 

The one and only thing that is actually going well in my life is Weight Watchers.  I have been losing weight at a steady pace these 4 weeks.   9 pounds in 4 weeks, 34 overall.  I feel good, I eat a ton of fruits and veggies I exercise frequently.  Just when I think this is going to work out and by this time next year I will be thin.  I get a harsh reminder that the world doesn't see me as a girl who lost 34 lbs, but a girl who could lose 50+  pounds.

 

I was loading some grocery bags into me car when a teenage kid on a bike yelled out  Hey Fat-ass there better be some slim fast in those bags. Reality hits me.  I am not delusional, I know I still have alot to work on and alot to lose.  But silly me, I thought I was looking at least a little better. There wasn't slim fast in my bags.  There was however, lean cuisines, smart ones, granny smith apples, spinach, and orowheat light bread.  I felt good about my choices but at that moment I was to haul ass to In an Out burger and get a double double and fries.  The last shred of dignity I had forced me to go home and eat miso soup, a small salad and a lean cuisine.

And people wonder why I don't just have low self esteem.  I have no self esteem......

 

I guess that statement is really true.  I have eaten well all week and for the most part I feel good.  I am starting to get a sore throat and had a headache today but that is because I slept wrong.  All in all I feel good about things for once.

I just really wish I didn't cut my own hair yesterday on impulse now I have to go to the salon to fix it.  I just wanted all the dyed bits out of my hair.  I still have some but I am on my way to having virgin hair.  My hair has had some dye in it since I was 12 only then I used sun in YIKES!