I'm not confused about anything in particular...just in general. You see, I've been watching these political documentaries over the past few months and they have got me all twisted up to where I'm not sure what direction I'm headed...with ANYTHING. This is the personality curse that I was handed when I was created...the feeling that I have to always be moving in a direction of resolution or completion of a task...so when I'm not sure what resolution I am going for or what task I am supposed to be doing that will make a difference in my cause, then I get a little lost. Ok, maybe more than a little lost...a lot lost. Here's a list of some of the documentaries that have me a bit frazzled:
The Yes Men, Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices, The Fog of War, Uncovered: The War on Iraq, Manufacturing Consent: Naom Chomsky and the Media, Hearts and Minds, The Trials of Henry Kissinger, Howard Zinn: You Can't Be Neutral on a Moving Train, Outfoxed: Rupert Murdoch's War on Journalism, Bush Family Fortunes: The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, The Corporation, WMD: Weapons of Mass Deception, Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room, Unprecedented: The 2000 Presidential Election, The Ghosts of Rwanda, Super Size Me, Bowling For Columbine, Fahrenheit 911
Words that keep appearing in my conversations with people these days include activism, manipulation, genocide, war, politics, deception, censorship, bribery, power, money, greed, fraud....ahhhhhhh!!!
So mind boggling the history of abuse and misuse of power in this country (and everywhere) that you wonder how we have made it this far with our great country still intact...OR is this abuse of power THE reason why all of us that live in this country today are SO free and wealthy with respect to the rest of the world? I don't want to think of the answer to this question that my gut tells me is true.
I feel as though I have an interesting and unique perspective with regards to power/greed/money and it's blatant misuse/abuse time and time again by seemingly moral individuals. And that is...I formerly had material wealth and then denounced my material wealth to try and obtain personal spiritual wealth...and in doing so, I feel as though I have a purer sense of perspective on most issues. Allow me to elaborate.
I remember making my first paycheck and thinking how I would save every dime and not squander a penny on things that I really didn't need...ok...maybe a few things...and that's how it all started. Once I realized the powerful feeling that was evoked inside of myself when I could merely swipe my debit card and obtain something that I had convinced myself that I really needed...wow...what a feeling of accomplishment. I'm living the American dream. The fog and blindness of money and power set in...the thought that it's never going to go away...it will always be there...and if anything...ANYTHING comes along that will seemingly hinder that state...man, look out...we humans will do just about anything to keep that from happening...ANYTHING.
I'm quite sure that I wouldn't think of rambling on about this topic if my daily tasks and direction were in the focus of creating wealth...which is why I often think about how clearer and more true my life and my perspective is at this time in my life when my focus is not in creating wealth. Yet, it was at one time...
On a much lighter note...my best friend certainly puts me in my place with this progressive babble that I've expressed here with his poignant words, "Money sure can buy a good time...those front row Billy Joel tickets weren't cheap."
A good time...how bout the best of times...those front row seats changed my life!
Because I am such an optimist...I feel the need to leave you with the purist and most sacred of all human relationships...a boy and his mama.
