1. List 20 things you want to say to 20 different people but you know you never will.

2. Don't say who they are.

3. Feel free to comment, but don't confirm or answer anything.

4. Never discuss it again.

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1. Stop acting hard. You never were, you never will be. Pretending doesn't help you.

2. You don't get a number :p You've got your own blog to yourself, ya jackass xD

3. You made me believe in myself again, like I could actually accomplish things. Then you threw me out. I thank you for what you did, but I have no respect for you.

4. Lay off the fucking drugs.

5. Ha, I find myself thinkin about you pretty often. Kinda lame I know, but oh well. You're wicked, and I like your cute sayings no one else says :) Talkin to you is interesting .

6. You need to learn the difference between "love" and just meeting someone.

7. It's been 4 1/2 years... not a day goes by where I don't think about you

8. You're not smarter, or more clever than me. Get over it. Stop trying

9. You're older, that's it. Stop pretending you're better than me because of it

10. Youu get me through my day, haha.

11. You need to drop the bitch dude. I understand second chances.. but a 6th? after she cheated on you 5 times.... what the fuck man..

12. It's hard to believe I went through almost all of my life thinking you wanted nothing to do with me. It's even harder to believe that I'm scared to talk to you still. I really wish we can fix this. I'm willing, and I know you are, but I don't know if I can handle it right now or even soon..

13. You are awesome, and you make my best friend happy. I'm glad you're together.

14. Morals... get some.

15. I'm not shallow, I just have standards.

16. I've known you almost my whole life. It sucks we're drifting so far apart. I swear I'm going to mend everything together again if it kills me. I miss callin you one of my best friends.

17. You rock that guitar man, or drums, whatever it is you're doin. I lost all the audio i had of you and Kev fuckin around. :/ Pretty shitty lol.

18. Singing to a plant is a very unconventional way to keep it alive, but it's still there. Every time I see it I laugh. What a crazy ass night.

19. There's been a lot to say to some, and very little with others. I'm surprised I even give you a number here. Fuck you.

20. Stop being so fucking lazy. I know I haven't been too active either, but you won't even run to save your life. it's pathetic.

He was standing above the clouds, lookin towards the ground. No one could touch him. No one, but her. She was the one who got him there. She showed him he was untouchable, that he had no worries in the world. He never expected the one he should have worried about was she.. Caught by surprise, he was sent towards reality once again, only this time, with a knife in his back. He didn't fall far though. The clouds thinned and there was the pavement right below. It was nothing more than a game, played out just for her. She stood silent, but even face down, he could hear her smile's debut. He trusted her.. But she's the one at a loss now. He's presently untouchable, now even to her. He learned from his mistakes. The clouds he stands on now aren't a hoax like before. He took the time to check for himself. Now he just watches in suspense for the day she'll see his smile creep up on her while she's down in the dirt. Karma's a bitch, but so was she. The knife won't be in her back, though, and he won't be the one to put it there.. You've got yourself a twin through that mirror.

You are the most amazing and unique individual I've ever met. I mean that with every bit of truth I've ever had. You are the source of my strength and I would be lost without you as my friend. You keep me sane, you really don'thave any idea. You've been there for me without saying a word, or even being at my side. Just knowing that you're here for me is enough to get me through the worse of my most horrible days. Things are really hard for me not being able to talk to you until you get back, even though I don't really bring up my problems when you're around. It's just hard for me.. I wanna get outta this fucking town so bad, but I don't know what I'd do without you. I miss you like hell man. I can't wait until you get back. Everything sucks with you being gone. I feel like I'm missing my other half that hold's me together.

I like to think I'm a good person.. I'm always putting people before myself. Doing whatever I can to make others happy, even if it hurts me by doing it. I forgive and forget, sometimes even without the apology I deserve. Second chances are something I give out regularly, even when you don't derserve it.. What do I get in return?

People walk all over me, use me, play with my head, take advantage of me being nice. They lie and steal. They almost make a point to say "John stop being a good person." I don't understand what drives people to hurt other people. To use them, to play with their heads, to fuck them over. How do I keep putting myself in these situations..?

I think that because I see the good in myself and a couple others, that I tend to think everyone else has got it, but I'm really coming to realize that's not true. People are always going to be self-centered, selfish, and always willing to put other people down to walk over them. Well honestly, I'm tired of it..

You all can walk your directions until you drown, burn, fall into your hole, or get backstabbed yourself. What goes around is certainly coming back around to get you too. I'm gonna stay back with these people I KNOW I can trust, instead of the people I'm just wishing and hoping and wanting to trust. I don't care if it's just me and Kevin and Tim. They're who I need. They the ones who always have been there, and will continue to be when I need them.

So good luck to every one of you. When you end up where I am now, remember that you did it to me first. To someone who never did anything but everything for you. To someone who looked out for and cared about you. To someone who never deserved any of it, unlike you.

There's nothing wrong with me. There never was. You, and everyone like you, did this to me. Make me freak about the small things, get my mind racing so fast I can't even stop to catch up. I'm paranoid about being hurt because of people like you, but I'm still up and smiling everyday, and doing everything I can for you. Does it make you feel good knowing that? Knowing that because of how you decide to fuck people over that you've destroyed every bit of hope I've had for the world, even for myself...

I'm turning into everything I've never wanted to be. I know that I probably won't ever be the way I want to be, but I would rather not hate myself every day for the way I am and how I act. I'm at the point where I'd rather do drugs and get fucked up than chill with my friends and have fun. I would rather freak out, get paranoid about everything, be scared to talk to anyone at all, and ruin my friendships for drugs. What the fuck is wrong with me?
The worst of it is that I know I don't need them, and I'm not even the slightest bit addicted to anything. But that I CHOOSE drugs over the people who have ALWAYS been there for me, before and during all of this. Telling me I'm being stupid and I shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.. And what do I say? "I know dude, I'm not stupid, I'm not going to do anything bad." Now what am I doing? Exactly that. It's consumed my life. If I'm not at work, I'm shitfaced off something, I don't care what it is, as long as it fucks me up.
I know I'm not going to quit, I don't want to. But I know I should stop everything else I'm doing. I know it's not a good thing when someone puts pills in my hand and smiles, and I take them without asking what they are or what they'll do to me. My habits are destroying everything I care about, and that's going to start changing real quick.

Basically, you think you know someone, but in reality...you don't. When you think, it sometimes could be with your brain, your body, or your heart. I think with my brain most of the time. My weakness most of all, is thinking with my heart. I always like to do good for people. It seems here lately, I haven't been paying much attention to myself and what I need. I will always be there for my friends no matter what. At the same time, I dwell on how my life will turn out. Thats when I think with my brain. Now, more than ever in my life I feel I have poor judgment on people around me. I think(keyword: think) I know someone, but it turns out that they are someone I dispise. Don't get me wrong, I love meeting new people and making new friends, but I am also the kind of guy who wants to be treated with some respect. My whole life I feel like I've been walked on and cheated out of everything. Now why does a good person like me get the back hand of things ALL the time, when all I want to do is be loved and not have to worry about whether someone is lying to me about something. This whole world has become full of lies. You can't trust anyone to save your life anymore than you can trust a serial killer with your newborn baby. It's sad and disgusting. All I have to say is, be careful who you choose to hang with or who you date. Most of the time you could get fucked over. If you find someone who you connect with, go for it. Don't wait it out. The more you are around this person you've grown to like, the more you feel with your heart and soul instead of being a prick about how someone looks or how they dress and what music they listen to. Fuck that, thats all small shit. Its not what's in the clothes, or the cool hair, or the music you listen to. A person is obviously not a record or an accessorie, a person should be about personality. If you have fun when you're with a certain someone and you never want to let them leave, then make them stay, tell them how you really feel. Life ends sometime sooner or later, so why not.. go for it. I'm sick of all this disliking a certain person because of their opinions. Give eachother a chance. Stop being so uptight and loosen the fuck up.