I refuse to let others make me jaded or bitter, or feed off of my energy.
I dont need that in my life.
I dont need anyone.
I'm a good person all by myself. :-)

Let me preface this by saying I hate that i found this while watching one of Tim's terrible Reality TV shows.
That being said I"m debating a new hair style and need some input.

14minutes into this video. 6gauge.
Check it out. Leave feedback.
It's like two off centered blonde stripes/mohawks...

This is the video. sorry.

Was trying to eat at a restaurant at the end of Bechelli and Bonneyview, but we waited for friends.I wanna say it was Eric and I, but that doesn't feel right. I had fries while I waited, but told the waitress to bring the burger when my friends arrived. Friends never showed, and she never came back. Ever. pissed me off, cause we waited like an hour.
As we were leaving we passed the impulse shopping section by the front door. There was all this food in lil red and white paper dishes. There was chicken topped with a green jelly (jalepeno?) and raw, so you could cook it at home, and also some pre-cooked, in case you wanted it, but weren't going home.

From there in hunger and anger we went to this old rusty restaurant. Micah showed up. It was a really cool restaurant cause it had parts that would move. like when it was sunny a HUGE silo could be made to rise up and block the windows so it wasnt so bright. We sat at a table with 'Rocket dining'. The menus were lil folded cards explaining what Rocket dining was. Rocket dining meant the Appetizers were on the table. In this case chicken and onions and potatoes and skewers so u could make kabobs fast. Then the entree was served at one point. Only two or three choices, premade, really, really fast.
After waiting this sounded like heaven. No one mentioned the dinner was served in a HUGE rocket ship thing that came out fo the group near the silo.
Then Cameron Diaz, who in dream way had randomly shown up got up to give me a hug, cause I  was the only Rocket Diner, and said, as she was crying
"can I ask you something"
I said of course, anything, wondering why she was crying.
"Would you please..put my pussy in your mouth? I mean I know your'e gay, but straight men just dont think to do it, and I think you'd be really good at it"
I laughed and said of course again and that she shouldn't be crying.

Then I woke up.
Lordie. Cameron needs help with her phrasing, cause "put my pussy in your mouth" isn't romantical at all.

Anyone familiar with the poem by e.e. Cummings? (the lower case ee's show he's a rebel and doesn't care to fall within your standard grammatical rules, yo)

I love the poem.
It's a simple love poem on one level, but means a lot more to me, because it's almost a philosophy for life.
Do you know how many insults I remember from grade school? Each and every is carried within my heart (see the link?) it's not that I carry a grudge, nor hold it against someone... i Just have a long memory for pain.

Here's the poem in case you're curiouso.

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am
never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear

no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are
whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody
knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry
your heart(i carry it in my heart)

V Factory
     Love Struck

I love College
    Asher Roth

 Why do people try to impose their own emotion based judgments on others?

I would give my left leg for a friend who was able to impartially sit back, look at a situation and understand my logical approach. To actually have a kindred spirit who comes to the same solution as I do because they can see the natural and easy thought process behind behaviors.

Okay maybe not my left leg, it would make ambulating really rough, however I would go to drastic measures for that sort of camaraderie.

I think this is part of why people don't understand how Eric and I can continue to be such good friends, despite dating (miserably) in the past. They are unable to step over the emotions involved, and move forward to a point where they can look at it logically, and see how its possible to be happy for one another.

Is hard to do sometimes.
But in the long run, It's worth it.


Right?
Lordie I hope so!

Why is it always someday and never today?

I do.
I seriously do.
A friend recently made my dislike waiver by giving a song context in which i suddenly looked at them differently.
In an attempt to make peace with them, I looked into their catalog (with another friends help) and found this song. I'm not big on posting Lyrics, but I think the lyrics here are so touching, it's hard not to share them. You really should listen to this song.

Make This Go On Forever.

Please don't let this turn into something it's not

I can only give you everything I've got

I can't be as sorry as you think I should

But I still love you more than anyone else could



All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight

Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right

This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long

Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong



The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love



We have got through so much worse than this before

What's so different this time that you can't ignore

You say it is much more than just my last mistake

And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes



The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love



The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love



And I don't know where to look

My words just break and melt

Please just save me from this darkness [x2]



And I don't know where to look

My words just break and melt

Please just save me from this darkness [x2]

What if the future isn't something that's written in stone you can read or foretell? What if time's more like a river? Flowing along, always moving always changing. You can guess where it will go, like reading a current, but there are always variations and changes occurring which will change where it ends up...