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I can’t believe Spring is here. I am so ready for it. Sam is going to turn two this Spring, I will turn twenty three. Joe will turn 38 in July.

We’re still trying for baby 2 and have started to look into fertility treatments. It’s been nearly 15 months (the end of this month will be 15) and we’re both a little (what’s the right word? crushed? depressed?). Words like secondary infertility have started floating around and they are very heavy words. I want to have four children so badly, and I know we’ll eventually have four. Whether it be through IVF or adoption or naturally.

I continue to enjoy Pittsburgh more and more. The girls I have become friends with through the playgroups have become my best girlfriends and I feel so lucky to have them.

I took Sam to see the Easter Bunny a few days ago. It’s a shame there is no Passover Bunny. Sam was decidedly uninterested in sitting on his lap, so we took him for a ride on the train instead. Like at the Holiday season, he rode the train with Danny and other friends and really loved it. Sam and Danny’s friendship continues to blossom. They play together, hug each other, fight over toys. I enjoy watching them grow so much.

Joe is taking me on a date on Saturday. I am not sure to where, but it should be fun. We had two dates while we were in Florida in the beginning of the month, both times for excellent sushi. Maybe on Saturday we will go hear some music. I wouldn’t mind going somewhere for drinks and a nice long conversation. Oh.. thedays when we had hours and hours to sit and talk. :)

Pumpkin Picking, candles, cool crisp air. All things I love about fall. Sweaters and warm earth tones, the Grove City Outlets to by Sam clothes and me a cute purse.

Center for Creative Play, long walks and leaf jumping, costume picking, trick or treating. I just adore fall.

Sam now loves to give kisses and hugs at will- he 'makes nice' to anything and everything by petting  the object. Orange juice and watermelon are his staples to life, and honestly- the kid is hilarious.

I entered him into that BabyGap contest at a whim- he wont win- I mean, there are something like 15000 entrants, but it's still fun to have his picture up there.

We'll be in NY at the end of December and then in Florida right after that for Joe's Grandma's birthday. She'll be 90.

The Rav4 is going in for maintence on Monday and we have a guy coming to hang up the water sculpture in the dining room that we bought at the arts festival.

Sam and I signed up for swimming lessons. His favorite thing right now is to fart in the tub, so swimming I'm sure will be interesting. Boys will be boys, I guess.

His Grandma and Zayde have an indoor pool, and the JCC has one as well, so at least we'll get a lot of swimming in this winter. Playgroups have been going well, a good turnout from the East End moms, I love the group I belong to and feel very fortunate for it. Being a mom can be a lonely thing at times without friends to go through it with you.

Joe and I had to cancel our date to Zima. He got a very bad cold, so we've rescheduled for later in the month. On the 30th I have a costume parade at my house for the little kids. Am excited.

Next Thursday Meg and I are going to Ikea. I want to buy every plant in sight, now that I've learned how to not kill them. The mums outside are doing fantastic.

Something else sort of cute-

There is a black and white cat who lives outside who I've been feeding. He rubs up against me when I am not paying attention but hasnt let me pet him yet, I've thought about buying him a little house for the winter so he can stay warm.- I cant let him inside 1. I don't think he'd come inside 2. He's a stray and isn't up to date on his shots and 3. our four other cats would throw a fit.

Okay, Sam just bumped his head. Better run

The whole summer has gone by!

Last I was writing about Sam almost being a year old. Now he is walking, running! He plays games with us and likes to play tricks.

At night he gives Joe a goodnight kiss. It melts my heart each night, and Joe is so good with him (like anyone had a doubt?) every night he is home for bath time, he's actually been known to say "Can't, bad timing, it's bath time!".

I was hoping we'd be pregnant by Sam's first birthday, but things aren't going as quickly as we hoped. It was so effortless with Sam that I didn't realize the agony you go through, month after month with no positive results.

We are currently on month nine. I know that we will eventually end up with the group of four that we're aiming for. Afterall, man plans and God laughs, right?

My mom is doing beautifully. After her battle with breast cancer last year, she is done with chemotherapy and funny enough has better boobs than me.

Joe's mom is also doing much better than anyone expected, back at work, loving her grandson, being the generally devoted woman she is.

Joe and I celebrated the four year mark of our relationship on July 25th (although, it's not really an anniversary anymore since we were married).

We went to see Bob Weir and Steve Kimock last night, and the Allman Brothers, it was a good show, a nice night, it's good to be adults again once in a while.

We went to temple on the 3rd for Sam's memorial services, our little Sam wasn't to keen on temple (sort of like his namesake) so he and I hung out in the garden and I told him stories of all the times I remembered with BigSam. I told him how much his Uncle would have loved to play with him, and all the funny things they would do together. I told him how much I missed BigSam, and that I'm sure he was sorry he missed out on meeting our Sam.

I guess I was mostly talking to myself, as Sam was much more interested in the koi pond.

As it should be, sad things should be for adults alone to bear, childhood is such a fleeting thing.

Joe's cousins were in from Israel, Nikki and the three little ones with her husband, and we got to see Wendy and Janet and their friends from Philly. It was nice for the family to get together, especially since Joe and I will be on Long Island visiting my family at the end of the month.

Summer went by very quickly, a little too quickly for my tastes, since the winters here are so long.

Luckily this winter we have the moms group to keep us company, I've made a lot of very strong friendships in that group, and I'm excited to go through the coming year with them.

I guess I've rambled enough.

As always, I'll end this with how grateful I am for my life. Everyday I count my blessings, my sweet handsome Sam, my hilarious and supportive husband, I never take these things for granted, the health of my family and their support.

And to Erin, if she is reading this, congratulations on your pregnancy, I've been thinking of you often, you are about to embark on an amazing journey, I hope you enjoy every minute, even the ones that aren't always fun. Congratulations!!

-Jen

Sam is going to be one in a few weeks.

To say that blows my mind is an understatement.

We've been trying for a little sibling, but no luck yet. Trying is part of the fun though. :)

Sam has been trying to walk, he has a bunch of friends in his playgroup that are starting to/have been walking and he is eager to join them. It's so cute, he'll stand up holding on to something, let go, teeter, wobble, become unsure and sit down.

I feel sort of redundent saying this all the time, but he is so incredible, such an amazing reminder of what love can produce. I am constantly in awe of what he is doing, how he is learning, how happy and content he is. He is starting to look much more like Joe, and tries to copy him constantly. See Daddy drinking a soda standing up? Sam wants to drink his bottle the same way. See Daddy playing on the phone or with the remote? Sam wants to do that too.

It's hysterical.

He's having a Thomas The Tank Engine themed birthday and I've been obsessed with planning it. What can I say, motherhood suits me.

I've been toying with the idea of taking some Real Estate classes, I'm still just throwing it around, we'll see. It'd be an asset what with Joe and Eddie having their commercial real estate and brokers lisences for me to have something in the field but different, I know a few people who could help me really get good and familiar with the terms and such. But do I want to leave Sam, even for part time work? Would it/could it even stay part time? All serious issues in need of some serious debate. We'll see.

A few days ago Sam had what the doctor called "disturbed sleep" or 'parasomnia' which is a disturbance in the sleep pattern causing children to wake up at odd or weird times (as in, just drifting off to sleep) with bouts of screaming, terror, or being afraid.

We ended up taking him to Children's Hospital where they performed a CT scan that came back clean.

On Thursday we're taking him in for an EEG so they can watch his brain activity while he sleeps, hopefully this will help them determine what is going on with my baby, why he is waking up so frightened and what we can do to rectify it.

It isn't happening with any pattern or real regularity and it is both during the day and night, so it's not that he is afraid of the dark or something. (Besides, he has a fishtank and night light in his room) It's also happened in the car as he has drifted off to sleep, so it is not just something in his room either.

The doctor suspects that it might just be a transitional phase Sam is going through, since kids do a lot of changing and growing from 9 months to 1 year. I am hoping this is the case.

He's already ruled out night terrors and seizures which were our main concern.

I guess I am just asking you guys to be thinking of Sam on Thursday and wishing him good things only.

Sam turned 9 months old on the 1st of March (since this year there was no 29th of February).

It still amazes me that he could possibly be older than just a few months.

We've started going to this Modern Mom's of Pittsburgh meetup group that does different things around the city. I've already made a couple of mommy friends and it feels great.

Just today Sam and I met up with another mommy and son team at a play center here in the city. The boys had a nice time and it was nice to talk to another adult. Even though we mostly just talked about the boys. ;)

Joe and I are throwing around ideas for Sam's one year birthday party. His weekend (memorial day) books up fast, so if we want to do it somewhere other than our house, we need to decide soon.

We'll be going to a baseball game for Joe's birthday. But havent decided on mothers or fathers days yet. Who would have thought that these things could be so exciting?

Now that Sam is sitting on his own (has been for months) and crawling around, he's begun to do other things to, he claps both his hands and feet, stands up and 'cruises' around furniture, yells when he is displeased, gives hugs and kisses willingly and laughs, as always, at everything.

We adopted a puppy. Bodhi. She's a sweet little black lab/border collie mix and has a very nice disposition.

Joe was telling me the other day how hard it is to leave in the morning when Sam and I are lazying in bed or getting ready to go on an adventure, and how much he looks forward to coming home in the evenings.

Life just gets better and better.

And now with spring coming, it is even more exciting to get out and about with Sammy.

We're trying for #2. Family life suits me.

My little son
spinning like a dandelion head
rubbed between two eager hands.

Each morning stretching like the horizon
and each evening, curling back in like a dragon lily.

When he was born it was May.
I sat with him in the too-tall grass
and told him all my secrets.

So forthcoming had I been, that he was awestruck
and gave me all his love.

Which made us equal,
for I had given him mine.

Each morning, opening his mind
like a bastion of light.
And each evening, closing the curtains and turning off the light.

Such gentle sleep, I have never known.

I hope everyone had a nice New Year.

We spent the beginning of the 31st with Sam. At about 9pm Carter, and Joe and I ate Aiello's pizza as our last meal of 2006.

We headed out to a friends house party after kissing and hugging Sam goodnight. I was a little sad not to ring in the New Year with him. The night was low key but wonderful. From it, came, an Impromptu dinner party that I threw together for this upcoming Monday.

Joe is making short-ribs, our friends Danny and Andrea are bringing a chocolate cake for dessert, our friends Carter and Erin are bringing apple Kugel and Andrew and Mary are bringing the wine. Joe and I will also be making mashed potatos from scratch, a cheese plate, a veggie and some other dish, swedish meatballs I think.

I like entertaining. I like having a group of friends to call my own.

Today we took Sam food shopping. We go so often to the Market District that people actually know him and I. Joe doesn't come as often, as Sam and I usually go when he is at work to kill some time during the day. We have our usual parking spot, our usual stops.. and since the Market District is high fuluting they normally have a guy playing the piano, sometimes a guy playing the trumpet and lots of stations to stop and chat or snack at. They have a coffee bar and a little place to get lunch.. so Sam and I usually do one of those things.. sometimes more depending on his mood.

Today though he missed his morning nap, so by this evening when Barbara came, he was a little cranky. She took him out to Walmart (because for some reason he loves it?) and he was all smiles and giggles.

Joe and I managed to watch some football today and get some laundry done.

Nothing too exciting, but this is everyday life..

We did however have friends Keith and Jessica stop by.. it was nice that they took some time to come, since they own a farm and a pretty busy. They brought us summer sausage and venison jerky and some homemade goat cheese. They are very crafty.

Joe put up a pot of coffee that I had bought him from Starbucks (super bold.) and it was a nice time.

Well, Joe is on his way to pick up  a friend from the airport so I better go and get ready to go out. I feel like a rock star, going out twice in one week. I normally am content to just stay at home with Sam... we both are (Joe and I)

We've really taken to this whole parenting thing.. and are thinking about trying for another baby soon. Maybe we'll wait so the baby wont be born in October.. right before the winter. but who knows. We'll let fate take it into their hands.

I just know we're meant to give Sam a little brother or sister before too long. And I know I am ready to do that.

Okay. Enough. I have to go and make myself into a girl whose ready for a night out.