this is the time for us to be frank to each other....

for the past years we have been working together there is no such thing would part us from the band.... what we see now is the band is still alive however have lost its wings as most of us are incommunicado...

this have made a turning point for "us" to counterfire whatever which have fired on us as for those who are still considering themselves as a fighter for chakwau will always stick with each other..

in life we have learned a lot such as our responsibilities and commitment that we are facing or about to faced... being a band member itself holds its commitment which is the sake of being closed and being related all the time as our passion towards music have driven us.

however, the problems we are about to faced is simple... we are seeking for a life and companion for us to drive orselves to play music.. it comes within yourself do you really want to continue your passion with ur band member or not>?

my answer is yes and if they would not want to i feel a deep lost and i will still keep on going on even though i have to stand on my two feet... loosing a band member meaning u are loosing ur wings to fly.... but you still can run keep on running and dont give up...

see through yourself act matured and try to at least see where the problem source... as simple as our life teaches us we still need to sacrifice in order to know what we want or what we made of...

yours sincerely

chakwau the band

having the thought of knowing what is in store with our music?

i have not even found the answer yet in life however where is the one we thought the most when our musical path met its problem rotten when coming out the way in our life?

this is the harsh reality we faced everyday life... backstabbers and hypocrites coming and going out from our doors... we need a breakthrough in this and the answer are yet to be found.

I just found out that life is getting harder day by day and my songwritting becoming more suicidal... however most of the suicidal song listeners out there are even having their own problem and believe me writting some song in every aspect of every suicidal individual will be such a beauty itself...

Most songwritter i found have the tendecies of self hatred and hatred towards the sociey and what makes it different from everybody out there songwritter can express through words and tunes. same goes with painters through colours and drawings...

basically what we need here is just another being that will make us out from this misery i miss most of my times playing music for the sake of loving it now i am writting music for the sake of letting my suicidal tendecy finds its comfort place to complain... it is a sick reality i know....

to be continue....

i recently stumble upon some opinion from my music path and pioneers in music.... why should i play for a gig? there is not much competition in kuching and when stuff have been dominated why would we hide at our closet.? let the colours be beautiful... we have to learn to accept for new ways... why should we care?

tell you the truth man none of us are making it.... hahaha

another sceptical dayak and another sceptical musicians....

i can see that we are not going further day by day the theory  that lies in us what can we do to play music... music is being played by people like us.. simple people.... simple people like us needs to work and find money... underpaid simple people like me only to be paid to live....

I am organising a weekly show which is every Tuesday in Miami so I hope bands who wants to play come and contact me through the net or call me from someone you know...

1st question which you guys might asked..

Am i getting paid....to play in your show..?

ans: Paid? i am sorry man i don even get paid too... and whats ur name again? Whats ur band name? I dont think any of Kuching people interested with Chakwau Cyndrome... its a typical dayak band who cant even become party people... sorry man.... i cant pay you even getting the place to jam needs commitment and needs to be paid in an ammount which is unachievable unless ur a corporate dude...

Why Tuesday? banyak budak sekolah kerja la banyak la...

Kalau mau hari Sabtu atau Ahad semua orang pun mauk tapi sorry boss u main music boleh kaya ka? lu gerenti crowd datang kasi beli air dekat saya punya pub ka? lu gerenti lu boleh kasi saya sikit lui? saya kuat sorry ooo... bikin tuesday atau sunday... lu main apa music? underground? kasi sikit news sama u la susah cari makan ooo....

Oi pok ramei ka orang datang gig ya kelak?

Pok mun aku line up band ya sik sefames band2 kedak peterpan dewa atau macam apa nok hotFM Xfresh atau radio2 tipikal yang membawa lagu konsep budaya indon atau nyanyian sengung semacam ajak kawu turun sik? Aku sik mampu la.. di gig aku di mana ada banyak jerit2 dah la nyanyi lagu english... kawu mauk turun sik... mun tiket tiga ringgit pun kau terpikir juak ndak dapat beli rokok oki ka rock ka dua kotak mun tiket mahal dari ya susah gila la.... minyak motor g, minyak rambut, duit sikda tengah bulan la sorri geng.. so jawapan nya hanya terletak pada kamu.....

Pok kamek orang tok sik dapat gilak la main time camya ada banyak hal,...

Sorry geng ya jak nok terbest aku dapat merik kawu.... sedangkan band aku gik sik ke mana agik juak aku kerja pakei bayar laptop kereta duit cyber mun ko mintak aku organise gig best2 sik susah pok tapi boss aku kat opis malah nelepon aku suruh aku turun kerja... so kedak ook boleh juak aku tolong kawu.. tunang aku gik ngrepak malah jak pub pub pub! mun apa nok tunang aku mintak aku sik dapat merik engkorang tak payah cakap la.... kita manusia biasa...

Pok dapat tolong keluar newspaper sik?

uittt ya la paling best.... boleh tolong....tapi mun boss aku madah editor ka sapa ka... ko ingat tok majalah hiburan ka? URTV? Mangga? Komik Kreko? ko tok bodoh la!!! pa lu ingat lu kereja newspaper boleh buat sukati ka? lu ingat lu bapak punya newspaper ka? saya tidak dengar local band lu tanya saya drama cina dekat tv3 pun saya tarak tau!!!! macibai lu punya band apa nama? Chakwau Cyndrome? lu ingat itu band makan kuih punya ka? lain kali la lu kasi itu news kalau tidak ada modal lagi saya boleh pakai!

So... begitula masaalah yang saya hadapi kalau boleh kita tolong la mempromosikan diri sendiri.... dan cuba berusaha tanpa komplen... majulah music untuk negara....

Hello.... my name is charles and i Will never give up on my music... Its undeniable we recieved a lot of failures... I was once approached and insulted by a known friend claiming he reads what he saw on the Under One Label Website...

So i told that prick that My band have no moeny and we cant pay any of the damage being done at Under One Label studios... However when he asked me about my DVD player in the car i asked him which article did he read? he told me the article which was posted by Stalin and Hamilton...

It seems like he enjoyed seeing us fight i was quite shocked... So i give him a copy of RGLP and asked him to listen to Rockstar TsingTao and i told him that me and my brothers wrote the song about some local band.. and guess what he knows what band that we sang about....

after a few weeks i met him at Tabuan Jaya and he told me that seriously why is your brothers supporting the man he thought *he took my hand lead the way and he thinks he’s the man* an excerpt from Tsing Tao rockstar...

so i simply answer his question.. who is the hypocrite now? anyway... i gave him a chakwau copy of the album and he said that why are so angry with everybody and others and now you guys are fighting?

Its simple.... the Dayak community are well known of being jealous of each others however do god’s gracious it seldom happen among brothers and sibling however we want to make a breakthrough by doing it first...

he asked me have you no shame for what have you guys did? So it told himIf under One Label really wants to help us they would keep it strong among each other... and we do not even start a website where we curse others and later curse ourselves so i apologized to him for what my brothers ever said to other local bands in Kuching namely Seven Days After, and some other people or key player such as Silas.

I asked him it is a freedom of speech everybody hates everyone... so he told me to grow up la cause its not worth to fight with ur brothers... I just answered him winning is not everything because no matter what you can changed the mentality that the Dayak have been producing... I don know why they enjoy doing it after all whats the point saying it out to them... asked anyone have they seen me happy all this while in my life...? No...

What i was told when i want to go serious with my music

was buy yourself your own guitar, Hairul was told to buy his drums, and so is Ray...

nice story? let me tell you something... what is the agenda hidden here...? Its just purely somebody having their period... and it is shameful to see you own brothers pisses on you....

For those who thinks blood is thicker than water.... yeah i don blame you... For those who were insulted on the net by their own brothers... Fight back and keep on fighting or just bow down to them and be their dog for the rest of your life cause no matter what for them you still suck thats why we call it younger brother... you are born to make your elder brother feel good about themselves i.e by giving shit and telling that you suck on the net.... mesti nya rasa semua orang respect nya lekak ya rasa best nya music lover... kaw kaw kaw punya.

for those who knows how it feels... be patient cause one day...there is always a room for yourselves now is not the time to see yourself as a piece of shit cause it is proven already human people or siblings are just a status in the society..

*Brother killing brother the world is a gutter*
*destroy unemployed human race disgraced too late to save it the world is a gutter.

Gutter means a drainage system for shit water and rubbish..

So uci and ujang are u satisfied now cause i am not even scared or bow down to you... do it again you are just making it worst and better for me... am not scared call police or lawyer...heehehe

Once i was text messaging want to ask lawyer to sign an agreement... hahaha

if i am a parent i would say "Anakku berbunuh sama sendiri kerana bermain band.. hahaha

My friend left me that aku sik sangka korang molah benda tok bersama2 lekak ya kelahi nang bodo.. so aku replied sorry abang aku nang kedak ya...

biar nya rasa bestlok lekak ya tauk cdak dua kelahi sama diri

heheh wanna bet?

Lyrics...Grow old and die

I have seen my walls are closing in

all this time I’ve lost and spent for it..

Hoping all for good wishing it was true...

I can barely sees whats comes around

Trading faces for a lovely crown

And its not that good...and it do no good

Bridge 

I can see your failure here...

I can sense your failure near

Whats the point to be upset and you say...

Fuck x3

Pre- Chorus

Lies and sin was meant to be with me...

Hope is fading when i see you near...

Maybe here I’m alive and Its crystal clear...

Is it old.. Is it lies..

Makes me feel so good...Cause my pain is you....

Verse 2

Wake up and Die....

Wake up and die...

Wake up and die.... For I hate you (X2)

Bridge

I can see my walls are closing in....

I can see you stumble and you fall

Maybe here I am a liar...

It is crystal clear...

Is it old...Its a lie

and it feels so good and my pain is you....

*Song eventually relates to your fights for music or just anything or the ones that fails you...

For once u know blood is thicker than water what if your blood betrays you and being such a prick to you? So you are forced to go out looking for a water figured blood....

situation example Its like a child who have an abusive and alcoholic father so she or he got scared will go out seeking symphaty from any father figured person which have no relation to him/her...

2nd example: A sibling who have confused and dictactorship brother or sister... comes out with a theory which you are scared to view your own life like any other people you age suddenly betrays you by telling others which is not ur family that u suck...so the sibling will go out and find some other brother or sister figure... We all been through there.... hahaha

We Grow Old and Die say it again say it again~!~~~~!!!!

you have witness the rivalry of siblings and probably have felt it...however there is something that it left in all this fight which is the feeling of being left out and being the blacksheep all over and over again... what went wrong with our lives when siblings starts to turn you for other things... such as a stupid cymbal which cracked and messed things up..

however chakwau is known for a poor band that can make it and the only association and label which they put trust even to work for free for the sake of siblings or friends...

chakwau have seen a lot of failures in life and have witnessed success from fellow friend in music field.. however what we have seen here is nothing more but more and more failures..

when chakwau first started it was always charles, alex and george as pioneers... after a few jamming in 1998 till 2002 without any basic knowledge of public relation the band was once again in the mad sea of development where everybody have to move on.. george went to london to pursue his studies and can be seen successfull..

left alex and charles who is currently in kuching.. alex turned down music and start to be another monster in the of development where he once again turn his back to his once trusted friend who is known with the terms jealous among each other... rivalry in success...

charles who finished his education alang2 decided to become an underpaid reporter....

Through the period of ten years there was a lot of meeting and projects happen in this band...

first the meeting of ray and hairul made the chakwau as a full band... however under one label studios decided to "help" this band and succesfully completed the "album" entitled too scared to live too afraid to die.. however tis band was not the favor of the under one label sole distributor Hamilton also with the help of Colin (both are charles's brother) ... he bought everything in his life with his money and degree.. since he is the first one of the sibling to have a degree.... since he is young by the age of 22 he got a degree and success... during the year of 1999..

what he bought so far....

1. his heavily modified wira which he sold

2. his nissan frontier which equipped with woofers at the back...

3. his parents trust to turn over wverything under his demands.

4. his respect to turn everything to reality

5. his false concept of motto of party people and hipocrisy which he later teaches his younger siblings

6. mostly turning down every concept of brothers must stick together..

for the year of 2005 and 2007 everthing was wonderful. chakwau achieved a lot with them however in trade of their own freedom in life .. whereby band are only allowed to have their own equipment than they are considered musician...

so ray, charles and hairul did spent money buying their instrument...

hairul turned down academics to study arts because he thought stalin (another charles bro) will work together as a team...

they show which was paid by ah how for RM150 in siburan was used to pay the demo cost.. so the band was seeing some cash flowing so far... and decided to pay again...

The 2 big favourite guardian in the janum family which is stalin and hamilton was in the spotlight again seeing the band are willing to work with them for free.. doing chores such as gig, demo cutting, selling and distributing cd with under one label name inside it... hairul made the demo sound quality good. ray a full time guitarist for any under one label projects and charles made pr and promotions for the both bands RGLP and chakwau...

So far the under one label achieved

1. champion and first runner up in Rexona no sweat challenge band..

2. completion of both band album

3. made to the papers several times

4. Temuai Gig.

5. more and more gigs..

6. tours..

they are proud of their achievement... however one day stupid charles took the cymbal outside of the house to learn about servicing from a friend.... and he was accused using it for Temuai gig....which he did not even play....

Then a "period" Hamilton got furious and scolded him... not hairul... decided to give a call to stalin which is one of the guardian in the janum family... later told him that they have cracked the cymbals and how chakwau abuses his property.... Hamilton was mad and furious... So stalin who thought it is a good idea to write about it in the bands website... decided to do so...

He made a good report based on hypocrisy party people which he thought it was cool...the report contained hairul bought an RM3K drum as he was majoring in drums at UMS which Stalin uses his common sense its better to buy a drum called Jin Bao (China made drum) worth RM800 including cymbals to pursue his music career and scolded charles for obtaining the DVD player in the car..

As we can see Stalin thought that it was correct to control hairul or the band mates spending in their music just to pay the cymbals first before going anywhere..

*if u read till this i don know why u don just click out if ur bored....

this is what Stalin priority for Charles and hairul

1. Under One Label

2.Cymbals

3. Food

4. Education

5. their own life

so he was being concerned... not selfish...he was being a leader... not an underdog a few months before made a call from KL asking charles to do a gig...(alone) and later stand in the spotlight again.... during christmas none of the family member talk to charles... as they always wanted him out of the clan....

skipping to the later part... the cracked cymbals have traded the 5 years of working together in pursuing their vision.... so they were chased out like dogs and was cursed and made joke by both of them...

charles, ray and hairul...-chakwau members- was once again lost and felt despair... of what happen...

charles as the sole person to blame in any chakwau's movement have once lost

1. screw and nuts a band where nic and ah hui of monkeycats uses as a revenge to Dream Machine conclusion - betrayed by friends and once again the guardian are right...

2. alex a long time founder of the band -which is more like a family- betrayed....and being seconded by some invisible reason...

3. cymbals - a drum instrument which is meant to be hit and one day will eventually break..- the responsible item for the band being chased by under one label..

4. Hamilton - for his uncontrolling self centered attitude when he meet the siblings ever since last time...

5. Stalin for his moodswing and "i am a music lover" attitude whereby he traded his ego for hairul existence.. and expect the music lover to buy Jin Bao china made drums to study music and charles respect towards him.

Conclusion - Chakwau once betrayed by friends, family, musical instruments, and the world development and demand.

Chakwau a friend based band... will it break one day? we need ur support....

and the band is always the blame and always seconded environment made the band an impression of useless and unworthy...

PS: to know this band better you can ask Stalin cause he is a self proclaimed music lover and he hated the band so much as what he wrote made the band feel bad about themselves...

To hate this band or anyone contact Hamilton because today he will say bad things about what people do and the next thing he will do it and always have the reason that it is right.... For example when he start to talk about escaptism in ur music and then you should buy your own instruments and talking about other dayak business and then look at under one label now... it is growing stronger each day but look inside it... it is managed by two lunatics who tends to forget what they say and making others look like shit...

PS: if u read it it all make sure you smile and laugh one day say it is not worthfit to our face.. cause by then when everybody gives up then you have achieved your target...

make local bands suffer make ur sibling live a life of hell in the house.... do it more and u will turn into someone which we can see now as selfish...