It’s about 6pm in Atlanta, getting geared up for a Monday night in Atlanta.  Our hotel is conveniently located on the approach path of the largest runway to the Atlanta airport.  Last night a few 747’s flew over our heads, I had panic attacks in my sleep, I was waiting to wake up with a jet engine in my lap.

Looking at some of the pictures from the tour, wow, we get to travel to some really neat places, and we see some cool shit... feast your eyes, some notes from the road...  As it stands right now spirits are pretty high, Percy is a little sick right now so please put some intentions out there for the Bagel Bird to get better, being sick on the road is probably worse than being sick.

Huntsville, TX

Capital punishment…  We drove by the prison, we did our token GM Funk jam>prison death row electrocution ambience jam, the gig was only 2 blocks from Death Row…  Since Texas likes to fry the innocent (mentally challengedz, midgets, Canadians, gays, minorities and anyone else that qualifies for a Grade A pickup dragging), every once in a while when we were playing, the power would dim, another burned inmate bites the dust.  We stayed in a hotel, Dboz got us the 3 bed master suite at the econo lodge, I slept on the Aerobed and huffed exhaust from trucks all night on the fucking floor.

Observation of Texas and Huntsville.  I used to think Texas had lots of flat land and hot dry blandness.  The funny thing, is that every state has tons of beauty.  Texas is beautiful, and Huntsville is pretty nice, I guess if you are going to be capitally punished, what a better place.  Huntsville folks are pretty cool, they don’t mention how the town sucks when you come to play there, they actually stick up for it.  Huntsville is unique, it’s somewhat unspoiled, it has some sort of underground hippie type vibe going on, except if you go near the prison, the vibe disappears and is transposed into electrocution.  Thanks to the Stardust room for some good food and nice service.

We ate BBQ the next day at the New Zion Missionary Baptist Church - Huntsville, TX, if you ever pass through this area, it’s a must try.  This place is family style goodness from jesus, we got the meat sweats and snarked down tons of meat and praised jesus for a low price of around $11 a person..

Houston, TX

This tour can’t be any easier.  Normally you are racing from town to town, with never enough time to do shit, but for some reason it’s just working out….  Plenty of time to rest up and get ready for a show, it makes 100% of a difference.  We’re staying at the Ramada Inn, conveniently located next to a warzone of I-10 construction.  800 cop cars drove through our room last night.  The show at Dan Electros was pretty good, the sound was pretty bad.  It’s a low key venue and of course, the folks in Houston decided that they were so miserable because they live in Houston, that there really is no reason to go out anyway.  It was nice to see some friends and hang out, and of course, the staff at Dan Electros was amazing, now we just need to find a way to get some kids to come out to that venue, it’d be way better.  We’ve had some good shows there in the past with Green Lemon.

Cajun Yacht Rock - NOLA - Maple Leaf

I’m writing this on the way to Atlanta...  Not there yet… we’re listening to Yacht rock, and Dboz is singing Peg by steely Dan..   If you haven’t yet seen any of the Yacht Rock’s on you tube, please check it out.  We have been jamming enough Michael McDonald and Steely Dan to make anyone sick.  It’s just the theme of the tour I guess....

Keystone Light.  I’m trying to save money, but realizing that maybe investing in beer that wasn’t made from Frat Kid Piss might be worth the investment.  I have a college kid hangover today.  Abia, local beer for NOLA is bad ass.  I had the Strawberry Abia beer and it was good, I felt like a non-manly like drinking it...... Let’s get back to the disclaimer, if you are offended by these blogs, what can I say?  I just deleted lots of content because I’m catching $hit from corporate, so let us know how jew feel.   Please email the mothership@movingmatter.com if you have any complaints and we will look into the implementation of a rated G blog for the moms and sensitive folks.  I am a crass writer, what can I say...

Cajun food, is pretty badass.  There is something to say about swamps and bayous and NOLA life..  Walking around with unlimited sources of alcohol and plenty of pissing in the street, is a wonderful experience.  NOLA has so much to offer, and one of the greatest things is our FREEDOM!   No ending hours on serving booze, gambling, fuck does it get any better?  Chris mentioned that these laws attract certain behaviors, and I agree.  However, why can’t we do this shit up north and in some other cities.  I propose, open container on Saturdays only.  From midnight on Friday night until Sunday Morning we are allowed to have open cocktails, we can gamble and the bars can close when they want.  Would this really fuck things up that bad?  The state could make more money for DUI’s.  Truth of it all is that I can’t drink worth a damn anymore, Moving Matter is getting too old and needs to switch to Non-Alcoholic brews... 

I’m going to let you in on a little secret unheard of in the music world.  New Orleans, the Maple Leaf, holy (bad word) something is terribly good with this scenario.  This place defies the world in which we live in.  I can’t go into the specifics of how good we get taken care of, but it’s just outright insane.  I want to think that it’s because NOLA has so much respect for musicians, but the truth of it all is that the place we are playing really just has a good thing going on.  Digiacomo’s food is amazing, I mean seriously, I had  RABBIT TENDERLOIN!  They catch the rabbits in Mississippi, we had stuffed shrimp.  I got the CHICKEN because I’m a fat CHUCK.  Let me tell you something, if I wasn’t madly in love with my baby, I’d have taken this chicken home and had my way with it.  And truthfully, sorry babe, I cheated on you.  I made self love masturbatory with Digiacomo’s chicken, I put it in the microwave and we had hot love. 

The staff at this place was incredible, we had people waiting on us for every move, the lady even walked me to the bathroom, and it’s neat there because you walk through the kitchen.  I’ve never experienced such a unique experience from the staff, they really take you in.  When I had my chicken put in a box, she actually filled it up with extra sides.  These people defy greed and bring love into their business, un-real.  We pawed through the leftovers in the van on the drive home, oh man, fried chicken and potato salad paws.  I looked like Winnie the Pooh blob with potato salad hands in my claws.

Off to Atlanta, we got to spend some time in the French Quarter, Chris almost got arrested by a fat angry Farva (jumbo cop from the movie Super Troopers) just because he had his shirt off.  We got suckkered into eating at a Cajun place that we probably  wouldn’t have gone to if it weren’t for a high pressure salesman.  I told him we’d eat there under one condition.  That if we don’t like the entire meal, he has to blow each band member.  He thought this was funny, and so did I, but nobody else did.  When I left the restaurant even the chef gave me a high five, Fats scores one point with the locals for being LOCO.

Spirits are high, the bank account is in the plus, now for a whole day of driving to Atlanta.  We stop at the Olive Garden along the way and do the soup salad and breadsticks.  Good stuff, we check into the Days Inn...  I’m going to sign out now... part II will be coming up soon..  Any thoughts, or comments, let us know.  I am currently taking bids for any type of Road Dare, we will take the pics...

Here’s something interesting that happened.  I got this 100% raw uncooked chicken sandwich from McShit rest in Caldwell TX, unreal, I luckily spit it up.  I took the sandwich back in, they scolded the cook, he had a whole tray of uncooked chicken sandwiches.  Lucky it was me and not some kid that ate that.   The next 3 days I vomited blood and had.....

Trials and tribulations of the Roast Beef Wagon...  Huntsville TX, Lake Charles LA, New Orleans, LA and Jacksonville, MS.  Moving Matter Mini Tour - November 2007

7% of touring is actualy playing music...  the rest is spent mostly driving, I'd say about 40% is driving, 3% packin farts, 4% of our time is spent eating at buffets.  10% of our time is spent arguing, boozin accounts for about 88% of our time.  We went to Huntsville texas, to start out our 4 night run from TX to LA to MS.  Huntsville, TX home where they kill folks for killin, Lake Charles LA (gambling wasteland) and NOLA (Substance abuse capitol of the world), then to Jackson MS.   First let's talk about Huntsville...  I thought that the only thing they did in Huntsville was drag gays behind pickup trucks and electrocute the innocent, I was truly mistaken....  It's 6pm, dark already, fucking daylight savings time.....  Made sure to tell myself, definitely don't want to get put in the can in huntsville, that could be really scary.  The can means jail for all you conformists...  The Huntsville that I saw was a pretty laid back hippie town.. At the club (see foto above), very nice place, cool staff.  We were fed well, Dboz got snarky and ordered the Baja fish tacos, great food at The Stardust Room.  It was a mellow night, we played a semi-acoustic set as our electric set would have scared off our listeners.  The best part of the evening happened after the first song, someone doo-dooed themselves.  This person shit their drawers...  this person actually sharted and had to leave for a moment to go do some clean up.  Just in case you didn't know it's sharTed, not sharded, I was mistaken, thanks Meg for clarifying: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=shart

If you were at the show in Huntsville, you know who I am talking about! hahah...  Nothin beats cleaning off shit from your leg with personal wipes in the bathroom.  It truly doesn't get any better than this.  There goes another nice pair of boxers in the trash...

Late Night Huntsville:
The Treehouse: Brian introduces himself at the end of the show, turns out he lives in a tree.  This isn't just some treehouse, this is a super badass full blown artistic palace in a tree.  Like something out of swiss family robinson, this was truly an experience, not something you'd expect from Huntsville.  A full blown house with modern day appliances and amazing interior, all fully sustainable and eco-friendly.  My stereotypes of Huntsville were all crushed as it turned out to be a pretty cool place, with super cool people.  Thanks Brian for all the hospitality and snacks, Michelle and Sandra and all the others that came out to support us.  They also made sure to stock up on MM merchandise, we truly appreciate!  We have almost sold out all of our T-shirts!

 Now for the ugly part.  Hotel Greenie.  Have you ever stayed?  I doubt it.  Well, Greenie is the name of our van, of course we have an extremely luxurious touring van with a bed in the back and television, VCR, laptop station, XM, etc (stop bragging fat fuck).  Anyway, cramming four of us into Greenie for an overnight stay is far from comfortable.  You usually wake up with someones balls in your face and it's cold, smells like egg farts and you realize that its only 4am and you can't check in to the next destination until noon.

Anyway, we hit the road, dodge Houston and stop for some doughnuts in Beaumont.  Almost to Lake Charles, time to GO DOWN GAMBLIN...  After checking in at the Baymont, the man at the counter that wanted to rape all four of us told us it would be a while as he had to corrall the disgruntled maid service to getting our room ready.  Time to kill?  Casino?  Isle of Capri - ASS.  Next to the gigantic bridge on Lake Charles, is a nice riverboat casino, we wanted buffet (Buffet 1 of 4)...  after losing a few bucks, we hit the buffet for roast beef and gumbo... the gumbo was a fucking joke..  I could see the chef in a canoe out in the middle of Lake Charles with a ladle attached to the end of a very long stick scooping up mud for the gumbo... The gumbo was truly a disgrace, muddy shit with rice.  When you come into Lake Charles, there is a huge bridge, that jolts up into the sky, conveniently located next to the casino.... I asked the waiter if anyone ever jumped off the bridge, he said someone actually did, we all figured if was certain death, this bridge is HUGE.. turns out some miserable prick actually jumped and lived about two weeks ago, shocking.  We thought for sure if you jumped off that bridge that you would die, apparently not?  We played at Lunas, it was a pretty low key night again, night two of an apologetic staff "sorry guys, we gotta get you back in here on a weekend".....  We drank 400 redbulls and played video poker in between a pretty sloppy loud set.  My ears were starting to wax up and ring already, only the second night....  It was pretty uneventful night, the bar owner of Lunas was super cool, invited us back looking forward to doing better on a weekend....  Back to the hotel, guess what?  Someone still wants to party... I bet you can guess who?  BERNIE.  He goes to Isle of Capri solo, wins big, we went to bed.  10am, Bernie yells at a maid for waking him up, everywhere we stay, we check out last minute.  Its normal to get knocks, have maids coming into the room, knocking, pissing us off etc.  So Bernie was a jerk to this lady.  I forgot to mention that he also told the dealer at Isle of Capri that he hopes he never sees the place again, even though he went back there 6 hours later.

NOLA bound, let's stop at Gatti's (Buffet 2 of 4) for some good old fashioned carbs and pudding.  After that we stopped at Payless Shoe source to try and score some kickin kicks, but no luck.  On the way to NOLA me and Dboz cranked out some Wayne Dyer, listening to the power of intention, I've definitely got some things to work on, like being nicer to Bernie and intending love and all that shit.  Eat yer heart out Yankee Bean, I guess we better start re-intending waka for round two....  Although I think Jones got us in to Waka not intention...  Just kidding, it works!   Wayne Dyer, Great CD so far, but the rest of the band doesn't seem very receptive to letting me listen to self help books on CD while driving.  NOLA bound, check in at the Ramada Inn.  Naps ass.  Finally some quality down time, we got rested up and headed down to the Maple Leaf.  

The Maple Leaf is awesome.  It's located over by Tulane, on Oak street.  It's got a super quality restaraunt next door to it, Digiacomos (jaque imos), badass food.  Turns out Joey Pantoliano from Sopranos and many other films, was sitting outside waiting to dine there as well.  Bernie decided to run over and chat with him, he interrupted his cell phone game of minesweeper.  He was not happy to see Mr. Holland (Roy Munson), after he gave him a limp handed weak handshake (The Brantley) he tried to brush him off quickly.  About the Maple Leaf, we are all convinced that their are spirits in the room, playing there is sort of eerie spirit presence in the room, the room has some history.  Played a killer first set, we nailed some tunes with great intensity, again the crowd just wasn't there, fucking daylight savings.  The folks that were present at the show were extremely supportive and impressed.  The ongoing theme of the tour "man, you guys, fuck! you gotta get back here soon, you guys are awesome" ... "I don't know why nobody is out tonight"...  etc.. either way,  We turned some heads, sold some merch and of course got super snarked.  Speakin of snarkin, we snarked over to Harrahs Casino downtown NOLA.  I opted out for gambling, me and percy ate foot long hot dogs and snarked around the joint.  This place was jumpin, they even have a disco/tecno room where there are all these slots and lights and music blasting.  Bernie had to puke, we had to go. We headed back to the Ramada, slept good that night.  This Ramada was okay, the Ramada had a strange theme, pictures of all these "urban acheivers" as someone called them, turns out they were "end hunger" pictures of third world kids...  I would normally snag a pic for my collection of random restaraunt awards and misc frames, but...  Wayne Dyer talked me out of it...  anyway Ramada staff, they were onto us for our Best Rate and bugging us to get outta there, these fucking hotels are so annoying always bothering us to get out.  Fucking bullshit, I know that the maids have to get it done and want to go home, but some hotels suck, they need a musician friendly hotel that allows you to check in any time and get the room, never too early, never too late and you get the room for 24 hours regardless.  So we're off to Jackson, I slept great, thanks Benadryl!

We headed over to some Bayou eatins at  Mittendorf's on the way to Jackson.  This was a nice family place, right on the water, we got plenty of catfish and gumbos.  Pretty good stuff, my catfish was ultra thin, breaded very lightly, good stuff.  Mixed reviews from the band, I'd say it wasn't all that...  Jackson ho, the best thing about this tour is the 3-4 hour per day drives, rules.  Most of the time its drive to venue, set up, feel like shit, play and haul ass to next place.  Martin's is cool, pretty big room, dirty and ugly as hell when the lights are on.  Seeing a club in the daytime is an ugly thing to witness, when clubs get dark, it hides all the stains of sins.  With the lights on you can see every spill, cig burn, broken shit, glass, semen, blood.  All that.  The staff was nice, we were just discussing the southern hospitality aspect of gigging down here.  I say this to the North, fuck you, people in the south are so cool, laid back and nice.    Martin's was so nice, pumpin us full of hospitality and kindness.  We scored a nice discounted room at the Holiday Inn express, thanks to Bernies (The Complicator) California King Size beds are the shit, that way I don't have to wake up with my hand between Dboz's warm hot pillow ass cheeks.  We chilled in the room, we got a discount, Bernie treated front desk lady like shit because she sent us to 3 different rooms before she got our request correct.  The gig was okay, I think some of the hospitality helped me flub a few drum fills...  and beats...  note to band, don't put full cooler of red bellies behind fats....  One thing that was rough...  the town wasn't all that lively because Panic was playing in a town 3 hours away which is enough to affect our draw.  Any Panic fans in the south will go to great lengths to see their favorite band.  I think we will do good here in the future, this town has the potential to be a great success.  Thanks to all that came out and supported that Matter...  We had a blast...

Summary of the tour.  Lots of food, aside from a night in the van, it was a nice vacation, short drives, good venues, good hospitality, pretty successful.  MM is getting out there, turning heads, learning the ropes and spanning out the web.  Lots of farts and way too much eating.  Our band smells bad, Dboz's feet smell like a rotting bag of babies.  It's a miracle Bernie hasn't needed a liver transplant just yet.  Percy doesn't have much left of his ears.  I can hear myself getting fatter.  Call out the instigator, because theres something in the air.  We've got to get together sooner or later because the revolutions here.... because you know it's right...  we have got to get it together, now......  Take me to the Gallow's Pole.  Knob n Bob, turkey creek and the Buzzards Beak.  Reach out and roast beef.
<br> As much as I don't want to, must give some props to Bernie Gold, our new booking agent.  Moving Matter has been fairly successful at paying down our debts and turning more of a profit.  In case you were wondering, the sacrifices we all make to do this are very significant.  We rarely see a dime for what we do, having a free meal compliments of the band and free hotels are the majority of our pay.  It's quite the sacrifice right now, some of us are losing big $$ unpaid taking these runs, so if any rich assholes are reading this, send cash to 5806 Bull Creek Road, Austin Texas, 78756.  Attention FAT FUCK

No really, all things considered, WHEEEEEEEEEEEAL!

Goals for next tour:
Less eating, more grocery store healthy foods
Less gas station trips
More FAP FAP
Save the drinks for after the show
Shamless self promotion... asss

For those of you who are into guitar pedals, you may enjoy this one.  I recently had the fortune of meeting Eric Shcriefer at the Lakewood Bar & Grill in Dallas.  He informs me of his expertise in building custom guitar pedals.  A week later I decide to order a custom Tube Screamer overdrive pedal from him…  Two weeks later, I'm opening a box containing my custom designed, hand painted TS-808 Tube Screamer.  I play it for the first time about 2 days later at the Coast Club gig in Port Aransas. 

Let me just start by saying, absolutely amazing!  The creaminess of this pedal is astonishing.  I have it in a chain next to a stock TS-9 so it's easy to notice the beauty of this Custom TS-808.  The sound coming out of the TS-808 is super rich with warmth & clarity.  It's got a sweet amount of overdrive where it bites a little and cuts through with beautiful sustain.  On the top is a boost type switch to get a little more drive out of the pedal if needed. 

The Schriefer TS-808 sounds great through two Roland Jazz Chorus 77s, but it doesn't come to life until put in front of real tubes.  I tested the pedal out on my Custom Audio Electronics preamp and Mesa Boogie 20/20 poweramp and it instantly reminded me the necessity of tubes.  The pure tone this pedal created when pushing tubes was absolutely astonishing.  It was so sweet that I knew I needed to go back to tube amps immediately.  I soon discovered that Eric is incredibly passionate about making custom amps from the ground up…

To be continued…

So this trip starts out very interesting.  All of the sudden the car is flying through the air, I thought the band van was destroyed and this rental car was just stripped of it's entire underside.  Apparently some jerkoff forgot that he was toting a piece of stonehedge down the highway without strapping it down appropriately.  I am talking about a piece of Limestone in the middle of the road that was high enough and big enough to kill anything in it's path.  Fortunately for us, the band van cheated death because we're on a mission from God.    Mr. Wheelers rental car was not so lucky.  We hit the piece of stone at the perfect angle, any other angle and I might be typing this story with a cast on my arm.  The car rocketed into the air like the Dukes of Hazzard on a San Francisco side street.  Okay it wasn't that dramatic, but we did catch some air.  Dboz said that he saw it in the mirror, the car did get some air. 
The car was fucked, it was leaking fluids and smoking.  But the A/C was working so we kept driving.  Then it finally ran out of all vital fluids, and we had to pull off the highway to assess the damage.  Yes we're fucked.  As we waited for a tow truck and cops to show up, we watched other cars slip and slide all over the exit ramp on the oil slick that we had left.  here's the story.  =The car is fucked, we're all very lucky.  I mean super lucky, it's a fucking miracle we weren't hurt, simply a miracle.   This was a tiny little red Chevy Cobalt.  Imagine if I ask you to follow me at 75mph on the highway and I am going to drop a large tombstone in front of your vehicle.  It's a miracle we didn't hit it at the wrong angle and flip over.  It's a miracle it didn't hit the gas tank and explode.  So we got outta there.  We still made it to the Dallas show and got hammered anyway, that's all that really matters.  Props to Wheeler and Baby Jesus for thinking about our feeble human lives and sparing us a roadway death..

It's 11:32pm as we approach the FedEx Forum in Memphis.  We pass on the offer to purchase some chocolate covered psychadelics from the kids that are waiting for the WSP kids to get out.  The cops are on horses, fully dressed with 1960's riot helmets ready to bash some hippie skulls if anyone gets out of line.  Our goal, to direct target these spun out folks with Moving Matter Daisy Theater aftershow handbills.  Have you ever handed out flyers to the masses of people?  It's comprable to a bum standing out in front of a train station as people are exiting.  People look at you and walk by, most of them are cool and take a flyer out of pitty.  It's a neat skill to get over the fear of dealing with the masses and having the balls to hand out literature.  After a while you get more courage and start saying things like "Tonight only, aftershow, free acid and group orgy"....  They are walking by pretty fast anyway, and it doesn't really matter what you say.  I once told a guy there was gonna be free ass-sex if he showed up.  he wasn't impressed.  Anyway, we handed out a shit load of flyers, and it worked, it yielded great results for the show.

I'm on my second Jumbo $4 beer, I see the $2 jello shot sign.  Starting to feel a nice buzz.  Impossible to find a place to piss, it's just like NOLA.

Beale Street.  What else could you ask for.  You can drink on the street, as much as you want.  This opens up a whole new set of rules, when you allow the commoners to stroll the land with beverage in hand.  Just like New Orleans, most of the same rules.  However isn't as global as NOLA.  Memphis is more local feeling, maybe even a little more reflective of the people in the area.  In NOLA you can run into anyone from all over the country on any given day, in Memphis however, it has a more local feeling to it.  At least thats how I felt.

Boo-Bot Sighting:  "We've all been like that at one point" states Dboz.  In my mind I'm saying fuck that, I don'think I've ever been that spun in public, that guy is literally foaming at the mouth.  He had green bile coming out of his mouth, his eyes rolled in the back of his head.  I put the hand bills away in my pocket to witness this creepy Boo-bot hit the floor as if he was palming the earth in search of jesus.  It was like something out of a movie, this guy was in the middle of a tornado grabbing looking for something to hang onto before he gets sucked into the black hole.  See link to video....  Enough said.

Theme song of the trip: Frankie Smith, Double Dutch Bus.  Beverage of choice:  Scotch, Ozarka and Wendy's Rootbeer frosty. Runner Up Song: Stevie Wonder "As".  We sat in the North Memphis Martin Luther King city building parking lot prior to the gig and chilled out.  We espacked rib farts into the exhausted fabrics of our over priced tour vehicle while waiting to head over to the Daisy. 

Rib Dinner:  Best Reeeeibs!  All I can say is ITIS!  And if you don't watch Chapelle show, or remember, there is a helluva a skit about an over the counter Rib product that Chapelle uses to get sleep.  ITIS is kinda like after thanksgiving when you get that post turkey coma, same fucking thing except ITIS usually entails a little bit of mudd butt.  In fact after that meal while waiting downtown to load into the Daisy, my innards weren't doing so well and I had to run and pay $3 for an Italian Ice so I could use these jerks bathroom.  As I sat on the puke covered toilet seat and farted rib gas, I ate an italian ice.  Anyway, most of us ordered the ribs at Rendezvous.  Dboz got the pork chop because Elboz dissed the dry rub.  keepin it in the family.  Anyway, these ribs was the shit.  Rendezvous, Memphis TN.  These ribs came like 3 best in the United States.  This place is in an alley, and they pump the smoke through the alley, it's truly a special place.  I smelled the ribs a few blocks away and I started to salivate and masturbate at the same time.  Well worth the wait, smoky bliss of spices and a true taste of memphis.

Red Blobster:  Of course, it's MM style to dine out of our means.  "Hey guys, let's spend 1/2 days pay on some Red Lobster, we can stop for 2 hours and then we can get home REALLY late and miss work tommorow".  So here we go.  And of course, I am in no situation to be affordin no fucking red blobster. 
So of course, I want a Lobsterita!  Have ya had one?  It's a gigantic 7-11 slurpee, but not as sugarey...  its got lemonade, some tequila and strawberry slushee in it.  And it's fucking big, like really big.  Suburbanite milf DUI beverage of choice.  So anyway, we was sitting next to this lady and her husband, and kid.  Kid made a fuckin mess, crab cakes and shit all over the floor.  Bernie offers to pay for my beverage ($8 Lobsterita) if I eat 4 crusty shrimp off the floor underneath the high chair.  SOLD!  I didn't even second guess myself, I just went down there with extreme prejudice to put these in my mouth and collect the bennies of gettin a free LOBSTERITA!  And I grabbed them, everyone looked, and I ate them... no problem right?  Then the lady next to us goes "OHHHHHHHH GROSS, That little kid was sucking on those shrimp before they hit the floor"....  I slammed the fucking Lobsterita with hopes the tequila would kill all those little germies.  In the end I got crab legs and a nice buzz for around $23...  good deal I guess.  I will let you know if I get barfie sick O

The Show:  Daisy Theater.  Big ass venue.  Fucking TESLA played before us.  Aftershow.  This place is open until 6am!  And they serve booze until 6am?  Could this really be?  Yes it is.  We were worried, Tesla was so busy hangin out with the WT groopies they didn't pay much notice to us.  We promoted the shit out of this show last night, after our worries of Tesla messing up our times to play, we finally accepted it and got set up about an hour late.  This was a score for the matter.  We rocked it.  There was over 300 kids in there, held strong, 300-400 boo bots partying until 5am.  It was spectacular  having all these kids bouncing around and digging the tunes.  to be up on a stage like that is simply spectacular and helps the mind to forget all of those bullshit gigs that you've had in the past where you played at a Pizza Hut on a weeknight to some angry folks.  Props to Boombox of Atlanta and Electric Mudd, super cool cats that let us do our thing, they gave us mad props and we all got to snort crank together until the wee hours of the morning.

the BACONATOR:  840 Calories with Extra Mayo.  So we are in Hope Arkansas, home of Bill the BJ Clinton.  We stop for gas, it turns into WENDYS time.  New ITEM:  The Baconator.  3 patties, a pigload of bacon and per Bernies request extra mayo.  This burger looked like Ron Jeremy had his way with it before it was served to me, yeah shitloads of mayo bro.  So anyway, no problem.  and Bernie was so thrilled to watch me eat this, he vowed that he would buy me a BACONATOR whenever I want for eternity.  No probem, I can dig that but I think my tits got larger with every bite.  They should call it the MOOBINATOR.

Another thing about Wendy's.  They don't give out nutrition facts.  Subway has it for you to take with, because you can actually look and learn.  Wendy's Corporate had a meeting and decided that it should be posted on the wall BEFORE you order (when you are hungry, caloric intake and fat grams aren't as important).  so you order and deal later.  Anyway, big deal, just be careful, fucking fries can range from 300-450 calories.  If u get a  BACONATOR, COKE and FRIES, you are looking at over 1,000 calories and farts that smell like grandmas diapers.  Wanna really save yourself?  Get a side salad and go buy an apple at the gas station!!