MySpace


MySpace.com | rss | sign in
Deanna



Last Updated: 12/23/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 41
Sign: Scorpio

City: ATLANTA
State: Georgia
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/18/2006

Blog Archive
[Older      Newer]
 /  / 
Wednesday, December 02, 2009 

Current mood:  calm
It's raining again in Atlanta. My office window looks out into the atrium of CNN Center. Even though I can't really see outside, the glass roof lets the gloom in on days like this. The gray days always lead me towards daydreams. But somehow I've never been inspired to conjure up really good daydreams looking out the window on another office tower.

From my desk I can see a desk across the way where someone has haphazardly thrown a single string of red and green Christmas lights on a ficus. I see a conference room where every single man in the meeting is wearing a light blue shirt. I see an entire floor of servers and racks blinking lazily at me. I see a whole floor gutted and busy with construction workers. But none of that stuff seems to catch my fancy.

At Oxford, my office window in Pierce Hall looked out over a huge old oak tree - an actual window to the outdoors! My office was decorated more like a dorm room than a place of business. The walls were covered with posters: Star Trek, Ozzy, Mike Piazza. And I had tons of little light up geegaws like Lava Lamps and waterfalls and color-changing bubble fountains. I'd sit in my office with the overhead lights off listening to trip-hop music on Spinner and enjoying the changing colors of all my lights while I coded websites or worked on pictures in Photoshop. On rainy days it was almost like being in an aquarium.

One particularly fanciful rainy day, I lazily stared out my window at the tree. Squirrels were still playing in the tree despite the downpour. I began to imagine that they were underwater squirrels with a king squirrel who lived in the great underwater tree palace and wore a tiny little pink crown. The other squirrels would swim around the tree gathering undersea acorns for their ruler and then proudly climb up the palace to present the gifts to him. It was such a peaceful and happy kingdom, sort of like the ones you'd see in those comic book ads for Sea Monkeys!

I know it sounds silly, but those little underwater squirrels brought me great joy for those few minutes.

On rainy days like today, I look out over the atrium and wish for a window on the world. And I remember my squirrels and wish one or two would go gliding past the 7th floor.
Currently listening:
Big Calm
By Morcheeba
Release date: 1998-03-17
2:57 PM 
1 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Friday, May 29, 2009 

Current mood:  chill
I grew up in the church - Midway United Methodist Church, to be exact. Sunday mornings were kind of a pain because I had to get up early and put on a dress. There was Sunday School at 10:00 and then the church service at 11:00. I had to sit quietly in that uncomfortable, scratchy dress and try to stay out of trouble. (I usually failed in a major way.)

But on summer Sunday nights, church was different then. I didn't have to dress up and there was no sermon. Summer Sunday nights were mostly for singing. In the morning we'd have sung several hymns out of the big red hardback book that was the official United Methodist hymnal. But Sunday nights were for the gray, paperback "Upper Room Hymnal." It was chock full of old classics like "The Old Rugged Cross" and "Leaning on the Everlasting Arms." We'd call out a hymn request and everyone would join together and sing along in four part harmony. (People knew how to read music back then.) I'd give a million dollars to stand there again with my daddy singing "The Lilly of the Valley."
 
He's the lilly of the valley/My bright and morning star/He's the fairest of ten thousand to my soul.
     HALLELUJAH! (My dad would add in the bass line that you could feel in your feet.)

After church was over all the kids would rush outside to play tag in front of the church under the huge old oak tree; and the grown men would watch from the front steps as they smoked and talked about baseball or their jobs. They were those summer nights of childhood where it seemed like it was perpetual dusk, the heat somehow pushing away the darkness. We'd play freeze tag or television tag. The tree was always safe base.

*TAG* "Welcome Back Kotter!" Whew! Safe for this time!
 
Eventually, as families headed home, there weren't enough of us left to play tag. So we'd catch lightning bugs in our cupped hands and peek between our fingers to marvel at their fireworks. No matter how many times I caught fireflies, I was amazed and entranced every time by this tiny little thing that could light up like magic.

When it was time to leave, if I was really lucky, and begged hard enough, (and hadn't gotten in TOO much trouble that morning at church), my parents might take me to Jack's for supper. Even as a 10-year-old I was aware that Jack's was crap, even for fast food. But Jack's had something that Dairy Queen, or McDonald's or Sambo's didn't have - a giant, spiraling slide that towered 10-feet in the air. My church friends and I would choke down our burgers and fries and then scream out the front door to face that terrifying slide. Were there other things to play on there in front of Jack's? I don't even remember. I just knew that when I was on the top of that slide, everybody driving past down Highway 92 was looking at me and thinking, "Wow. Look at that girl at the top of that slide. I wish I could be like her."
Currently listening:
Children of Possibility
By One Self
Release date: 2005-09-20
3:17 PM 
6 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Thursday, April 30, 2009 

Current mood:  curious

The topic of "Larry King Live" tonight is Michelle Obama and whether she's changing the rules for women around the world. I was immediately struck when I heard this ad. It's almost amusing to me that people look at Michelle Obama and think that she's groundbreaking in some way. Yes, she's the first black First Lady; and I think she kicks much ass! But she's not redefining what it means to be a woman in the United States in this day and age.


How sad that people haven't been looking at women closely enough to see the millions of Michelle Obamas that surround them every day in this country: women who are smart, women who are physically strong, women who are taking care of their business.

Hell, my Granny Pearl was born at the turn of the century and she embodied all those characteristics!

I'm really interested why it seems so amazing to people to see those things in Michelle Obama.

6:18 PM 
4 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Tuesday, April 28, 2009 

Current mood:  happy
Sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I really need to get back at it. I've been making some changes in my life that seem to be making me much happier. But for me, happiness doesn't seem very conducive to writing. But I'm going to start paying more attention and finding stories to tell here again. I miss it.
Currently watching:
Quantum Leap - The Complete Fourth Season
Release date: 2006-03-28
8:38 PM 
4 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, February 14, 2009 

Current mood:  amused
Living in the city is sometimes like "Forest Gump;" like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get.

A couple of weeks ago we had gone to celebrate a friend's birthday at the Atlanta Brewing Company. They have a brewery tour and tasting on Friday nights where, for a small fee, you get a pint glass, tickets for pours of their different brands, and a tour of their facilities. After that we went to Tacqueria del Sol for some cheap, delicious tacos and margaritas.

We were feeling pretty happy after all the festivities. Gaines had told a friend of ours something that I had assumed he would keep in confidence. It was nothing earthshaking, but I still felt like I had to give him a hard time about it. As we pulled into the parking deck of our condo, we were following a gorgeous white Jaguar. As we circled the levels of the deck looking for a space, I continued to rag Gaines for his indiscretion.

We finally found a place to park and walked into the building to find the statuesque, impeccably dressed woman who had exited the Jaguar waiting for the elevator with us. I thought to myself, "This will help me keep up the pressure on Gaines. This will be funny. I'll bring my fellow female to my side in this argument."

We got on the elevator. She pressed 7. We pressed 20. I said to her, "So, as a woman, you understand how important it is for your man to keep your secrets in confidence."

There was a moment of silence as the doors slid open on the seventh floor. She paused in her immacuate, floor-length white coat; turned to us in the open door, and said in a voice like James Earl Jones', "Well, you just never can tell can you?"

She stepped out and we simply froze. The doors shut. The elevator went up. And then we laughed for 30 minutes.

You just never can tell.


Currently reading:
War Dragons (Star Trek: The Captain's Table, Book 1)
By L. A. Graf
11:25 PM 
3 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, February 14, 2009 

Current mood:  content

I've always had mixed feelings about Valentine's Day. When I was a kid, my parents would always give me chocolates; and that's always good. But then you always had to contend with giving valentines to everyone in your class. That was tedious and laborious. You have to think over the messages on each card very carefully lest you give a card that's too suggestive to a boy you don't really like. (I Choo-choo-choose you!) Or even worse, accidentally give a card with romantic wishes to another girl and have people think you're a - *gasp* - LESBIAN! There was just no way to win!

I got one of the worst beatings of my life in the first grade because of an ill-conceived Valentine's message. I was friends with a girl in my Brownie troop who was a year older than me. (I guess we did valentines for the Brownie troop too.) Anyway, her name was Lyn Paille. Now my middle name is Lynn. And I have a long history of getting myself in trouble when I'm just trying to be funny. On Lyn's valentine I wrote, "To Lyn. Who spells her name funny."

That doesn't seem like a punishable offense to me, but the beatings ensued.

As you get older, you begin to realize the romantic implications of the holiday. You get to middle school and high school, and the dreaded carnation sales begin. All the other girls were getting red carnations from all their male admirers, and I was getting a single pink carnation from my basketball coaches with romantic wishes attached like, "You need to run more." Oh the humanity.

After I got married, my ex-husband and I exchanged the obligatory Valentine's gifts; but it's just never been a holiday that's knocked my socks off. When I met Gaines, he made it very clear as Valentine's approached, a couple of months into our relationship, that he didn't do Valentine's Day. I was hurt and thought that he just didn't care enough about me to do Valentine's Day. We compromised and went for a Valentine's dinner that first year at The Vortex. And I realized that was fine.

Since then, I've come to appreciate our low key, uncelebrated Valentine's Day. I buy and send cards to my mom and my Aunt Jo, and that's the extent of it. Now I'm not one of those hard core Valentine's bashers. If you want to do it, get on with your bad self. But today really made me question a lot of folks' intentions toward the whole holiday.

Now as you well know, Valentine's Day is tomorrow, Saturday. But I saw a bunch of people headed home from work with flowers and balloons that had been sent to them at the office today, Friday. Are there people who just want to prove to others that somebody cares about them and require their boyfriends and husbands send their gifts to the office so everyone else can see them? Now that's just sad.

And then that made me wonder how many people there are out there who send themselves things at the office on Valentine's Day just so they won't feel left out. You KNOW there are people who do it!

My wish for all of you is that you find the things about yourself you can celebrate and love tomorrow! And know that I choo-choo-choose each and every one of you.



Currently listening:
A Heap of Broken Images
By Blue Sky Black Death
Release date: 2006-05-23
12:16 AM 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, January 10, 2009 

Current mood:  peaceful
Most evenings we have a trumpeter who stands on the corner of Peachtree and Ponce under our balcony playing tunes and hoping for some bucks from the passers-by on their way to a leisurely dinner, or a show at the Fox.
 
Just now I was sitting outside taking in the cold, rainy evening and heard the anxious sounds of bagpipes. I looked and looked, but couldn't see him. Finally, here he came, complete with kilt, southbound on the east sidewalk of Peachtree. And behind him were black-clad, umbrella toting folks in the darkness paying tribute to who knows who. They crossed over to the west side of the street at Ponce, continuing, I hope, to one of the bars there.
 
In the rainy darkness his pipes still play on.

I assume it's a wake. The celebration of someone I don't know who has passed on. What a way to go. Peace on you, whoever you are.
11:43 PM 
1 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Sunday, January 04, 2009 

Current mood:  enlightened
5:16 AM 
2 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, January 03, 2009 

Current mood:  thankful

We had a fantastic and blessed New Year's Day! I went to sleep on New Year's Eve praying for God to show me the way in 2009. I've felt so restless and friendless recently. I guess my prayers were answered and my eyes opened.

Gaines cooked the traditional cornbread, black-eyed peas and (flaming hot habanero) collard greens. (I cooked a box of macaroni and cheese. I'm gourmet like that!) Our friends Boo and Jeff came over about 2:00 and brought cookies and wine and beer along. Not long after, our friend Al came up from his 4th floor condo bearing baklava!

Al left after a couple of hours and soon after, our friend Claudia, who hosts us and others in the building for fabulous wine and cheese gatherings every couple of weeks, came and hung out for a while. After she left, our friends Keith and Barb came over with their twin toddlers, Noah and Jacob. They brought wine and chocolate cake. (And Chicken McNuggets and little boy toys!)

Boo and Jeff left a little later and Barb and Keith and the boys stayed until about 9:00.

It was just great to have such a relaxed and fun time hanging out, talking and watching football with such a diverse group of very good friends.

Only Gaines could bring together a conservative couple from Suwanee, a gay filmmaker, a fascinating, vibrant single woman, and a young suburban couple with twins. I felt surrounded by love and good food and wine all day long. (And Georgia won!)

My goal in 2009 is to spend more time counting my blessings and being thankful for all the good I have in my life, instead of contemplating all the things out of my control that make me unhappy. This was, indeed, a great start, and a great lesson.

5:29 AM 
2 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Thursday, January 01, 2009 

Current mood:  thankful

Happy New Year blog friends! I feel like I've been pretty morose here this year. But all in all it wasn't a terrible year. I've used this blog to put together some of my confused thoughts in some kind of cogent fashion. I appreciate all of you who've read, and commented and stayed strong with me. I hope you've gotten a little entertainment from what I've had to say here. You, and this, have truly helped me to maintain my sanity this year.

Here's all my very best to you and those you love for a beautiful and prosperous 2009.

I love you all!

Currently reading:
Home: A Novel
By Marilynne Robinson
Release date: 2008-09-02
10:54 AM 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate