told my mother today that she was pretty sure I was going to get a boyfriend soon.

Well, she would say that.

The way she and my mother go on about me you'd think I was the key to the universe or something. Adjectives are used. Ones like "stunning" and "genius". it's a bit embarassing and largely false.
 
I'd never dare cross my grandmother but I tell my mother all the time that I'm not impressive, I'm not that amazing, I'm just not all that special. And she just sighs.

My grandmother is a self-proclaimed clairvoyant with a penchant for reading tarot cards and who has more jewelry than you've ever seen. Once, I told her I liked pearls. And now, in the mail once a month or so, pearls, pearls, pearls. Old pearls, new pearls, pink, black, white pearls. I've got a lot of pearls. Pearls I never wear because they're so old and fragile like her and I'm afraid they'll break.

She reads the cards in ways I can't even begin to comprehend. A little card flipping and some good old-fashioned clairvoyance that supposedly runs in families but which I've not seen a bit of in myself and my grandmother, who is possibly the only remaining family member who calls me by my first name still, tells my mother, "Zoe won't be alone for much longer."

Mom wants to know what she means. "I think a boy's going to come along and steal her heart away," replies my grandmother placidly.

"And why wouldn't he," says my mother, "she's so beautiful."
"And talented," agrees my grandmother.

I just sigh and leave the room, unable to hear any more of this madness.

Clusters of stars

look like evening gowns

that can't be worn;

Galaxies with their own music

that can't be heard.

Beautiful tragedies.

That's what they are.

Halos of light and color

with no angels to wear them;

Oceans of everything and nothing

that no one can swim in.

Beautiful tragedies

around our heads.

New worlds

that can't be touched;

New people

I'll never meet.

Beautiful tragedies,

teasing

taunting

leading me on

leaving

me

alone.

a poem, possibly?
Or a song?
I dunno.

It's also unfinished so don't be too cruel ;-). But honesty is appreciated...

I let out a sigh
as I glance at my hand:
The ring I never wear
for the dream I never had
is placed upon my finger
against my bright red nails
If you don't set your sights high
how do you know when you've failed?

There's nobody to talk to except
The voice that's in my head
I swear that I'm not crazy
though I listen to what he says
He's really just me anyway
So please pay him no mind
We only ever talk if I only have the time.

And everytime I turn around
I think you'll be right there
I don't know when it'll hit me
That really, you're nowhere
near me and it hurts sometimes
but I can't think what to say
Because when I bring two folks together
I wind up pushing them away.

I need to
break down
and be alone
cause I've been that way for so long it just feels like home.
Break down
please stay away
no, I take that back:
I wish you'd stay.

The universe is an amazing thing.

People think that the Earth is large...for God's sake, it's a ping-pong ball. A ping-pong ball floating about in the Atlantic ocean.

If you want large, try Jupiter.

Jupiter and I have a love affair. I don't quite know if it's mutual on his part but there it is. All I know is that when I saw that planet through the Kitt Peak Observatory Telescope, I was lost for words. I was amazed. I cried. 

I could see the storm! I could see Ganymede! Right before my eyes, in amazing detail!

And then, just as suddenly, it was a fleck of light again. As soon as I moved my head away, a bright fleck lingered, appearing to the naked eye to be only a few feet from the moon. Isn't that funny? 

Jupiter, come back. I want to see you again. I can't see you from my sea-level valley home. If you can't return then can some force of the universe or of nature or something take me to a mountain somewhere? A mountain that just happens to have a really really powerful telescope conveniently placed at the peak? I'd be grateful. 

Because then I could stare at Jupiter all night. Jupiter and Ganymede. My favorite celestial pair.

Of course, I'd rather experience it. I'd rather travel it. I'd rather zoom about the universe of my own free will, just...enjoying myself. Immersing myself in it.

But for now I'll just look.

Mmk so I went to the Nekro concert last night. It was fucking AWESOME, but here are the details (the interesting ones anyhow):

OK, so everything is pretty dull until around 7:30, when this woman with the FREAKIEST hair I have ever seen walks in. She has a long (seriously!) mohawk that is so big it actually droops over on one side. Holy. Effing. Crap. And it is PURPLE, and there is probably a hole in the ozone layer the size of Russia from her hairspray. I swear, you can see the individual strands of hair frozen helplessly in midair! 

So while I'm trying not to snicker myself silly over hair-girl, a band called The Heart Attacks comes on.

Heart Attack is definitely the first phrase which comes to mind.

The lead singer is like a blond, even-more-socially-unacceptable Mick Jagger. Seriously--lips and all.

I have never heard the term 'motherf***er' used so many times in a logical sentence.

Anyway, Nekromantix eventually comes on. They are fucking AWESOME and I love it. In this one part, Nekroman himself pours beer all over his coffin bass (pictured below) and then licks it off.

But unfortunately this freak with purple hair keeps getting her purple hair in my pictures!! So I have few good ones. But the ones without her hair in them are pretty damn good shots.
And I even got a couple of 15-second videos (shh! Don't tell. I wasn't supposed to). Most suck but the one of Horny In A Hearse is pretty good, and Nekrohigh isn't bad.

But here's a word to the wise: Never, under *any* circumstances, make eye contact with the guy pushing people into the mosh pit. It's just not smart.
Ow ow owwwww....

Anyway, in other news, our FUCKING CAR broke down...
I think it's the one spot on the driveway, the left side. Because every car we have ever parked there breaks down after a few days or so.
Jeep Wagoneer? Ran fine. Until we drove it home and parked it there. Then it flat out didn't start the next day.
The Hippie Volvo? Ran like a charm for two years almost...until we successfully got the Wagoneer out of the left side, parked the Volvo there and the next day it died.
And the Mercedes? We sold the Volvo, got it out of the left side, and then put the Mertz there.

And now it's dead.
See what I mean? Cursed!

Anyway, tell me in a blog comment if you want me to post my craptastic videos in My Videos.

Here are the few good pics.

The Fantabulous Coffin Bass

A great pic of Nekroman

See what I mean about the hair lady!?

IDK...some basic hippie instinct took over

and I am now

Mama Earth

and totally

hippie-fied!

Hooray.