Like You
I know it was inevitable, but it's unbearable to deal with. My cat Cheetah was in horrible condition when I got home from work today and it made me cry. I knew what I had to do. I didn't want her to suffer any longer. My baby is no longer with us in this world....my baby; my best friend; my honey buns; my Cheetah babes!


Stay low....soft, dark and dreamless
Far beneath from my nightmares and loneliness
I hate me....for breathing without you
I don't want to feel anymore for you
Grieving for you....I'm not grieving for you
Nothing real love can't undo
And though I may have lost my way
All paths lead straight to you

I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you

Halo....blinding wall between us
Melt away and leave us alone again
Humming....haunting somewhere out there
I believe our love can see us through in death

I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you

You're not alone
No matter what they told you, you're not alone
I'll be right beside you forever more

I long to be like you sis
Lie cold in the ground like you did
There's room inside for two
And I'm grieving for you

And as we lay in silent bliss
I know you'll remember me

I long to be like you
Lie cold in the ground like you
There's room inside for two
And I'm not grieving for you
I'm coming for you

"Like You" Evanescence

Tech got her tongue pierced.

 

'Nuff said ^v^

Lookie! I'm back from the vacation! *does a happy dance* Thankfully, I wasn't forced into too much religious BS, but that's cuz I played "nie" around everyone, particularly my mother. I'm sure we are all aware it's never good to go into a church of such devote followers and make it obvious that, "Hey I don't practice what you preach!" I believe in the higher power folks; end of story. Excuse me if I don't have my nose in the bible every second of everyday; I got it the first five times I read it. But the people that met for the congregation were very nice and we talked about anything but religion. There was no one even close to my age that weren't married and/or had children. Good grief there were a lot of young women with kids already! 

I don't think I ever noticed how beautiful the area around Durango was. It's rather large like Montrose, but it's not even close to trying to be a "big city" like Montrose. The atmosphere of the community feels more like a larger Gunnison. 'Course that wouldn't be much of a surprise since it's a college town like Gunni. Ft. Lewis sits up on a mountain overlooking the town and the campus is aboutt he size and feel as Western. I'm glad I chose the school I did, not just cuz of the school, but for the people I met and the friends I've kept in my life. *huggles for all those* However, there's alot more opportunity in Durango; hell I've never seen so many job openings all around!. So needless to say, it's become a new possibility to check out in the future. Plus I like the idea of living in a town surrounded by mountains and art galleries, not to mention good pubs. <.<

I have alot of sketches from the trip. I got a bit farther on my novel as well. The accomodations for where we all stayed was wonderfull. We stayed at the Needles townhouse community. A three bedroom, three bath with a garage, fireplace, two small balconies, fully furnished kitchen and living room/bedrooms and a great view in the backyard. I promise you I have pictures and I will be posting them very soon. We also visited historic downtown, Mesa Verde, and even rode the Durango&Silverton Narrow Gauge railroad tour. Good stuff!

On another note, my mind wandered alot over the trip. As I mentioned, it wandered over my novel and I got more ideas and pieces fixed up a bit, but not without a jump start from the original source behind my novel's idea. As much as I thought of Michael and miss him more and more everyday and I look forward to when I can save enough money to go visit him in Missouri, Deane has been talking to me again of his own choosing and I thought of him alot over my trip.  Now of course I have no problem with this since he is my friend, but I do feel things are differnent after how things went for us a few months ago. I dunno what really goes on in his mind and I really feel it's so much harder for me to trust him anyways, but he's definitely someone in my life that won't ever go away and I've pretty much accepted that. For those of you confused now, I'm sorry, but this is the mind of I, Tech. I make no sense ^ ^; What I do know is I'm still happy, I'm able to work and make money for myself, I'm in,  though long distance, a very healthy relationship, my family still loves me and I still have all my friends close to me, even if we are more spread out now. Life is still very much good. ^_^

Step 1. Put your playlist on random.
Step 2. Post a line from the first 25 songs that play.
Step 3. Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly

1. "Sometimes in our life; We get to where we wonder if the long road that we're on is headin' in the same direction."
2."I only looked but I never touched; Cause in my heart was a picture of us."
3. "If you can reach me, you can feel my burning flame."
4. "I'm the man and your the man and he's the man as well so you can point that fuckin' finger up your ass!"
5. "Buddy you're a young man, hard man fightin in the street gonna take on the world someday"
6. "She said in a sexy lazy low key 'can I make it right?'"
7. "I spent last night in the arms of a girl in Louisiana"
8. "Men grow cold as girls grow old; and we all lose our charms in the end"
9. "If I'd rather wear your t-shirt than a sexy negligee it's alright; it's alright"
10. "Friday night and the moon is high; I'm wide awake just watching you sleep"
11. "Selfishly hated, no wonder you're jaded, you can't play the victim this time!"
12. "Watch your mouth oh oh oh becasue your speech is slurred and I bet you just might swallow your tongue"
13."Don't want cha for the weekend, don't want cha for a night, I'm only interested if I can have you for life"
14. "Alo, Salut, sunt eu un haiduc"
15. "I wrote the gospel on giving up; You look pretty sinking"
16. "Sometimes I wish I could turn back time; impossible as it may seem"
17. "Could you please help me understand why you've given in to all these selfish dark desires?"
18. "Halo, blinding wall between us; Melt away and leave us alone again"
19. "I can make Beyonce or Shakira dance for you!"
20. "Next to her cheap silicon I look minimal; That's why in front of your eyes i'm invisible"
21. "Constant over-stimulation numbs me but I would not want you any other way"
22. "Now it's so clear to me, I'm part of history, You're leaving me in sorrow"
23. "Jump with them all and move it; Jump back and forth and feel like you were there yourself"
24. "The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap; We'll all stay skinny cuz we just won't eat"
25. "If I give you me, this is how it's got to be; first of all I won't take you cheatin on me"

This one is a recent favorite of mine just cuz it's so simple in its lyrics, but the music is very powerful. I've always said this group has had some really great tunes.

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight

Singing Amen I'm alive!
Singing Amen I'm alive!

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died
And I'm singing

Amen I, I'm alive!
Amen I, I'm alive!

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We'll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I'm alive!
Singing Amen I'm alive!

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We'd see the day when nobody died

We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day, we'd see the day
When nobody died
We'd see the day when nobody died!
"If Everyone Cared" -Nickelback-

This one is prolly the most important to me. When I first heard it last year, it made me cry not just cuz of the lyrics and music, but cuz I feel anyone could hear it and feel like the one that has loved them for so long is actually singing it. That's how I felt when I heard it on an old profile a friend had made. A very good friend I've known for 6 years that I pray everyday we never have another fight like last time or we suddenly can't stand eachother. 

This time, this place
Misused, mistakes
Too long, too late
Who was I to make you wait?
Just one chance, just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know
You know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know
You know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore

So far away
Been far away for far too long
So far away
Been far away for far too long
But you know, you know, you know!

I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I forgive you
For being away for far too long
So keep breathing
'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe and hold on to me
And never let me go!
"Far Away" -Nickelback-

Things aren't looking so hot for me these days. I swear I think someone is out to get me or something. This morning my left knee buckled under me and I hit the floor. I just laid there for I dunno how long trying to let the pain subside enough so I could move. I started crying so hard not just cuz it hurt, but cuz I was mad that it happened. I'm very gimp and can barely walk at all and of course work has no sympathy for it. I'm in a knee brace until I see the doc again in three weeks and I have to wear it all the time, except in the shower. I dunno how I'm gonna be able to get to classes on time, but I guess I manage somehow. I have cried so much even now and I wanted to cry at work and just quit cuz I'm tired of being treated like shit by people like Kaja. And Adam is no where near me since he's having to be in California taking care of the martial arts school since his old instructor Tom can't due to a blood clot that will kill him in the next few months. I've been ok up to this point. Crystal and Buddy are in a raid over WoW and I tried talking to Em for a while but she said she had to go cuz Corwin is in town. Why couldn't I go over and visit? I almost asked to, but I'm surprised no one offered if I wanted to hang out. Sarah is going off to Telluride this weekend and what do I have to do? Work 11-8 both Saturday and Sunday and I prolly will get yelled at during both those days for some reason or another. I could be finishing a small project that's due on Monday right now, but I don't feel too great physically and emotionally. I can't go anywhere or do anything right now cuz it would take too long to get there and everyone is busy. I just feel really lousy ...I feel so ...lonely...and I know I shouldn't but I do. I don't wanna sit here in my room crying my eyes out and being bummed out cuz I'm gimp and there's no one around to talk to. I miss Adam A LOT but he's so busy and I don't wanna interfere with what he's having to do to get established. It's sad and pathetic, but I feel so abandoned when that's not the case really and I should know that. But it still doesn't help that it's just how I feel. Fuck this day and this weekend already...I'm gonna try for bed.

Just an update for everyone. It's been over 24 hours since my surgery and so far I'm doing pertty good. I have gotten nauseous to the point of throwing up, but only once. I've been tired a lot but I'm getting my energy back little by little. Hey I had enough energy to sit here and write down a quick update. So yeah, I'm gonna go lay back down for a bit. Jya ne!