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nunya

Nunya Bizness


Last Updated: 10/20/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: In a Relationship
Age: 26
Sign: Aries

City: Beverly Hills
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/21/2006

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December 27, 2008 - Saturday 

Current mood:  sad
..TR> ..TABLE>
11:06 AM 
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Ida P. Mills-Rushmore
MILLS-RUSHMORE, Mrs. Ida P.
Of Portage, MI

Died Saturday morning December 13, 2008. Ida was born June 3, 1910 in Kalamazoo, Michigan a daughter of Grover and Ida (Burnham) Meachum. She had been a lifelong Kalamazoo area resident and was employed with Jim Gilmore years ago. She was also a member of Centre Ave. Community Church of God. She was preceded in death by her parents; her first husband, Otis Mills; her second husband, Charles E. Rushmore; a son Bruce Mills; a great-great-granddaughter, Lauren Glerum; two brothers, Edward and Donald Meachum; and two sisters, Barbara Poulsen and Judith Grable. She is survived by a son, Bill (Patricia) Mills of Portage; 14 grandchildren; 20 great-grandchildren; 14 great-great-grandchildren; and a special friend (former daughter-in-law) Missy Mills of Portage. A memorial service will be held 11 o'clock Thursday at the Centre Ave. Community Church of God, 1917 E. Centre Ave. Friends may meet the family one hour prior to the service at the church. Private burial will take place in Mt. Ever-Rest Cemetery at a later date. Memorials may be directed to the Centre Ave. Community Church of God. Arrangements were made by the Langeland Family Funeral Homes, Portage Chapel, 411 E. Centre Ave. www.langelands.com. 343-1508.

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December 6, 2008 - Saturday 

..TR> ..TABLE>

10:21 PM 
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Hindi Lyrics Translation

Chura Liya Hai

Here is the song 'Chura Liya Hai' from movie 'Yaadon Ki Baraat'.
Movie : Yaadon Ki Baarat
Song : Chura Liya Hai Tumne

--FEMALE--
Chura liya hai tumne jo dil ko
You have already stolen my heart

Nazar nahin churaana sanam
Do not steal glances

Badalke meri tum zindagaani
Having changed my life

Kahin badal na jaana sanam
Do not change a bit, sweetheart

Oh, le liya dil, oh haai mera dil
Oh, you took my heart, oh my heart

Haai dil lekar mujhko na behlaana
Oh, taking my heart don't humor me

Chura liya hai tumne jo dil ko
You have already stolen my heart

Nazar nahin churaana sanam
Do not steal glances

Badalke meri tum zindagaani
Having changed my life

Kahin badal na jaana sanam
Do not change a bit, sweetheart


Bahaar banke aaoon kabhi tumhaari duniya mein
Becoming spring I will come sometime in your world

Guzar na jaaye yeh din kahin isi tamanna mein
- 2
May this day not pass in just this wish

Tum mere ho, ho tum mere ho
You are mine, you are mine

Aaj tum itna vaada karte jaana
Today go making this promise

Chura liya
You have stolen

Chura liya hai tumne jo dil ko
You have already stolen my heart

Nazar nahin churaana sanam
Do not steal glances

Badalke meri tum zindagaani
Having changed my life

Kahin badal na jaana sanam
Do not change a bit, sweetheart


--MALE--
Ho, sajaaoonga lutkar bhi tere badan ki daali ko
Oh, I will decorate your body's branch

Lahoo jigar ka doonga haseen labon ki laali ko
I will give my heart's blood to your lovely red lips

Sajaaoonga lutkar bhi tere badan ki daali ko
I will decorate your body's branch

Lahoo jigar ka doonga haseen labon ki laali ko
I will give my heart's blood to your lovely red lips

Hai vafa kya is jahaan ko
What faithfulness is, to this world

Ek din dikhla doonga main deewana
One day I will show them madly

Chura liya hai......
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November 28, 2008 - Friday 

Category: Life

Jameson Michael Bowers

The name Jameson Michael Bowers promotes optimism, inspiration, and enthusiasm. It feels cheerful, outgoing, and charming. This name represents self-expression and communication skills. Its upward energy is a sign of tremendous creativity and all artistic endeavors are empowered by its vibration. The name Jameson Michael Bowers attracts just about everyone. It carries great public relation and communication skills, and an innate ability to charm the most cynical folks.

However, it lacks focus and discipline, can be a "happy-go-lucky spendthrift", and can give the impression of flightiness and instability.

Jameson Michael Bowers's most positive characteristics: Upbeat, creative, capable communicator, inspiring, uplifting. Has sense of humor, draws creative and passionate people.

Jameson Michael Bowers's most negative characteristics: Scattered energy, difficulty in finishing projects, unreliable.

More about the name "Jameson Michael Bowers"

You just got the sample ... but there is MUCH MORE! Below are your Vowel and Base Vibration numbers, which are explained in the full-length Name Advisor Report. You can also analyze two additional names!

• Jameson Michael Bowers's Vowel Vibration number is 2.

This number increases or decreases the impact of the Dominant Impression.

• Jameson Michael Bowers's Base Vibration number is 1.

This number represents the overall tone, or rhythm, of the name. it too has a significant impact on the Dominant Impression.

9:44 AM 
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January 9, 2008 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  confident
Category: Writing and Poetry
..> ..>

"Books and friends should be few but good."

"A friend in need is a friend indeed."
- Latin Proverb

"A good friend is my nearest relation."

"A hedge between keeps friendship green."

"God defend me from my friends; from my enemies I can defend myself."

"Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes."

"Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice."
-Sent in by Angela Kendrick

"The best of friends must part."

"Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead."
- Chinese Proverb, (sent by Julio Fung)

"To have a friend, be a friend."
(sent by Julio Fung)

"The death of a friend is equivalent to the loss of a limb."
- German Proverb

"Life without a friend is like death without a witness."
- Spanish Proverb

"The best mirror is an old friend."

"May there always be work for your hands to do, may your purse always hold a coin or two. May the sun always shine on your windowpane, may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you, may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you."
- Irish Blessing

"A cheerful friend is like asunny day spreading brightness all around."
- John Lubcock ( English Astronomer )

"THERE ARE MANY TYPES OF SHIPS. THERE ARE WOODEN SHIPS ,PLASTIC SHIPS, AND METAL SHIPS. BUT THE BEST AND MOST IMPORTAINT TYPES OF SHIPS ARE FRIENDSHIPS."
- OLD IRISH QUOTE (SENT BY -ROBERT J. BADAR JR.)

"The only unsinkable ship is FRIENDSHIP."
-Sent in by Jeff Sczpanski

" A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away."
- Arabian Proverb

"It is better to be in chains with friends , than to be in a garden with strangers."
-Persian Proverb -Sent in by Shawn

4:32 PM 
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December 19, 2007 - Wednesday 

Current mood:  determined
Category: Life

  So I have been sitting in my living room all morning and thinking about ths past year. I have been thinking about the journey I have taken, the people that have come in and out of my life, and most importantly family.  

  This year I have lived in four states, I have kinda bounced from here to there trying to figure out what I want in my life as well as which relationships are meaningful and which are toxic. There is one thing I now know though which took me many years to figure out...there are only a few people you can trust. It's insane to think about everything that has happened from living on base in Fort Campbell thinking "is this it? this is how life is suppose to be?" to sitting where I am now never feeling as loved as I am. I never knew until I got where I am now what it really feels like to have such deep feelings for someone, to be fully in love...to know I would give my life for him.

  There have been a few suprises such as people who were family friends coming out of the woodwork...a woman I looked at like a sister, totally respected and was a role model has totally lost herself and is nearing rock bottom. It kinda scares me to look at her and see how out of hand things have gotten, but what's even scarier is that she doesn't see what she has lost, the relationships that she damaged beyond repair and even worse all the qualities we once loved have disappeared. What I have learned from this is how to be a better friend, sister, lover, daughter, and someday mother...but even more than all that, how to trust and love myself.

   I spent the day with my neice Kloee yesterday and I noticed that after all the crap this four year old child has been through she keeps going and doesn't let anything bother her. Everyday is a new and better day to a child. Why do adults not think that way? Why do we all hold grudges for silly reasons. Life is too short to harbor ill feelings. What made me smile though is that after losing the woman who was like a mother for the second time this year she can still smile when she says her name and just remember the old times...the birthday parties, the shopping, having sunday breakfast out as a big family...even the sleep overs and getting her hair braided. Seeing all this has opened my eyes and makes me strive to be more like Kloee. Children are so innocent and they don't know how beautiful that is.

  This year I have also had many medical problems and am learnng that this is the only body I have and I better learn to respect it. As it's said your body is a temple. I cannot keep putting poisons into my body and then wonder why  I feel like crap a day a week or month later. I am trying to wean out all the junk food, snacks, liquor and so on. Even better yet I am excited about getting the rest of my weight off and being healthy, not only physically but mentally as well.

    I have seen that I have strayed from God, I get stressed over the holidays because I cannot buy all the gifts I want and I can't afford the sweater I feel like I will die without. Then this morning my mom said to me "You are lost, Christmas is not about giving or receiving...It's about being with family, if it weren't for Jesus you would not be here!" After that I felt kind of guilty and it all fell into place, it is just as important that I'm spiritually healthy just as I am physically and mentally.

  So my new years resolution...lol...I know we all make these and don't keep them but I am determined!!! My goal is to be as physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy as possible. This includes all the relationships I earlier mentioned and just getting past all the crap that has hindered me, my performance, and most importantly me being the best I can be.

Here is my Cheers to you!

God bless...

6:02 PM 
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December 14, 2007 - Friday 

Category: Writing and Poetry
A Different Christmas Poem


The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.


Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.

My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.

The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear.
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.

My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.

A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.

"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"

For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right, I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."

"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."

My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.

Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.

I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..

Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall."
"So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."

"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."

Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.

For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."

6:31 PM 
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December 10, 2007 - Monday 

Current mood:  breezy
Category: Quiz/Survey

84 New Questions You've Probably Never Been Asked.

1. First thing you wash in the shower?
I get my whole body wet then I wash my hair first.

2. What is your favorite hoodie?
Grey PCHS one.

3. Do you like coffee?
Yeah but not all the time,

4. What did you do two nights ago?
Went to Gio's bday party...sorry about the drunk drama!

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?
Pretty happy, pretty sad, you know how girls are

6. What's the last letter of the person that likes you's name?
S

7. Do you say aim or a-i-m?
I didn't know there was a difference...neither I guess...

8. Tell me about the last dream you remember having.
I was stealing shiney dimes and my teeth rotted out! Ahhh!

9. Could you eat your favorite food everyday for a month and not get tired of it?
Pizza and Crystal Light? yeah ...or spaghetti! Mmmmm!

10. What are you craving?
No comment!

11.Do you floss?
Yup

12. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?
Chinese veggies from the mall! Good stuff!

13. When is the next time you will kiss someone?
I dunno...tonight I hope.

14. Do you get bored with relationships quickly?
It depends on the relationship.

15. Would you dance with me to the taco song?
Sure...how does it go?

16. Have you ever counted to 1,000?
um, no...I don't have that much time on my hands! Besides I would prolly get lost and have to start over, that's the story of my life!

17. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?
Lick it :)

18. Do you use smileys?
Too often!

19. How many bedrooms are in your house?
3...after some work.

20. Have you ever met a celebrity?
Ummm, I dunno...

21. Do you like cottage cheese?
Yes with blueberries or pineapple in it...strawberries too!

22. Whats the last song you had in your head?
Stay by Sugarland.

23. How many countries have you visited?
USA & India

24. Are your parents strict?
Yes Sir!

25. Would you go sky diving?
No way Jose!

26. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush?
Is he paying?

27. What color is your bedroom door?
Wood.

28. Is there anything sparkly in the room you're in?
My candles I have lit.

29. Name one thing you absolutely can not stand.
Clothes strew across my house! STEVEN! :) Love you...

30. Do you rent movies often?
Yeah.

31. Who sits in front of you in your math class?
Sarah Hess did...then Mauri Seelye...ummm, I am having a brain fart!

32. What have you done in your past that you regret?
No comment.

33. Has anyone close to you ever passed away?
I have answered this question before!

34. Can you count backwards from 74?
Yeah, will I? no

36. Brown or white eggs?
I don't care...FRESH!

37. Like rap music?
If I'm drunk or getting ready to go out to the club.

38. Ever taken a train?
Yes, first in India...which was terrible. Then from KY to MI...which wasn't so bad.

39. Experienced the twin towers falling in New York?
Oh Lord...Bless their souls!

40. Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head?
*sigh* yeah...

41. What day of the week is it?
Monday...blah...

42. What was your Lunch today?
Chicken boobs!

43. What is your best friend doing tomorrow?
I dunno...He is at MSU and she is ignoring me...

44. Are you a vegetarian?
No

45. Ever have cream puffs?
Mmmmhmmm, they are like a party on my tongue!

46. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect?
I love that movie! It was kinda hard to follow though.

47. So, how about them Yankees?
I don't give two shits and a fuck about baseball! Lets talk about Hockey!

48. When is the last time you laughed?
At Kenny today.

49. Honestly, how many people have you had "STRONG" feelings for?
A few...does that matter now? Nope!

50. What is your bus number for school?
72...Mrs.Metzalaars or however you spell that and Mrs.Iverson were my drivers :) They were sweet old ladies!

51. Is your hair curly?
Just call me "Poodle."

52. Last time you cried?
Yesterday.

53. Ever walked into a wall?
Yes and I have also ridden a bike into a parked car...as well as driven into one! DEE-DEE-DEE!

54. Do you still have feelings for an ex?
No romantic feelings.

55. Have you ever bought anything from Pac Sun?
Nope.

56. Are you currently wearing socks?
No, flip flop slippers :)

57. Favorite time of the year?
Spring & Fall.

58. Who was your best kisser?
Hmm wouldnt you like to know...I won't tell...cuz you can't have him!

59. Are you a generally happy person?
I guess, but I am kinda dark and twisty too...lol!

60. Have you kissed someone this week?
Oh yeah you yesterday baby!!!

61. The next person you'll hold hands with… Will it mean anything?
Yeah it does everytime.

62. Do you sleep with the TV on?
When I am alone...otherwise, nope!

63. Who was the last person that texted you, and what did it say?
I dunno...

64. Do you think you're old?
I will be closer to 30 than 20 on April 13th! Ahhhhhhhh! :(

65. Are u afraid of the dark?
Sometimes in all honesty.

66. Do you like your life right now?
Most of the time.

67. When's the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
I usually take a bath and then a shower.

68. Do you knock on wood?
Hehehe...yupper.

69? Do you have good vision?
I am more blind than my 98 year old Granny!

70. Can you hula hoop?
Hex Yeszaa!

71. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
Yes.

72. Do you have a job?
Yes.

73. Are you friends with your last ex?
Yes, all of them.

74. What brands are you wearing?
Abercrombie & AE...sweats and a long sleeve tee. I'm hot! I know!

75. When was the last time you kissed someone?
Well Nanners has been in Germany for a while...so  couple years now I think! Damn baby I miss you! Lol...Even though you are cheating on me I will forgive you...See question 71.

76. Have u ever crawled through a window?
I tried to on Friday night! But I slept in the car instead! Thanks Steve!

77. Can you handle the truth?
Yes but sometimes it really SUCKS!

78. What was the most recent thing you bought?
Shampoo & Conditioner.

79. How often do you talk on the phone?
Often. Thank God for the WiFi..hotspot at home...unlimited minutes!

80. Are you in a complicated relationship?
Yeah...

81. Last time you went swimming in a pool?
This past summer.

82. Have you ever tripped someone?
LMAO, I'm mean better watch it bitches!

83. Are you sarcastic?
More often then not.

84. Have you ever slapped someone?
Hell yeah, I slap Steve everynight  after I tie him up! Lol..kidding.

6:54 PM 
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December 9, 2007 - Sunday 

Current mood:  hungry
Category: Music
I've been sittin' here stairin' at the clock on the wall
And I've been layin' here prayin'
Prayin' she won't call
It's just another call from home and you'll get it and be gone and I'll be cryin'

And I'll be beggin' you baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waitin'
My Heart on my sleeve
Oh for the next time we'll be here seems like a million years and I think I'm dyin'

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of bein' lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep tellin' me baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like bein' used and I'm tired of waitin'

It's too much pain to have to bare
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of bein' lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer but my will is gettin' stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you

So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of bein' lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way

Baby why don't you stay

9:29 PM 
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December 7, 2007 - Friday 

Current mood:  hungry
Category: Quiz/Survey

2007 IS COMING TO AN END

1. Have you had any relationships this year?
Yes,2...

2. Have you had your birthday yet?
Yepper, In April.

3. Cried yet?
Jesus...are you kidding? I am a cry baby!

4. Been on a diet?
Mmmmhmmm...

5. Pulled an all nighter?
Yes

6. Drank Starbucks?
Yup

7. Went Camping?
No :(

8. Bought something(s)?
Ummmmm yes...

9. Met someone special?
Yesssiiiiirrrrrrrrr Bob!

10. Been out of state?
To KY,TN,PA,AR,IL, & MO....besides MI anyway.

12. What are you thinking about?
Going out for Gio's bday!

___________________________________________
1.) Hugged someone?
Yes...a hug a day keeps the assholes away!

2.) Slept in someone elses bed?
Of course.

3.) Got a job?
Yup.

4.) Loaned out money?
Mmmmhmmm...

5.) Gotten in a car accident?
No, not that I know of.

6.) Gone over your mobile phone bill?
I do weekly...

7.) Been called a slut?
Yup, I am sure by far more people that I care to know about!

8.) Done something you regret?
Yes :(

LAST :
_________________________________________________________
Last Person you hugged?
Steven

Last Person to call you?
Once again, Steven, my Cowboy Plumber!

When was the last time you felt stupid?
It's a normal feeling for me.

Who did you last yell at?
The doggies.

What did you do today?
Cleaned, laundry, hung curtains all over the house, showered, make-uped, and ate.

TEN FACTS :
___________________________________________________________
01. Name?
Ashley Elizabeth (Mills) Mishra
a.k.a. Ash, Ashmash, Ash Hole, Trashy Ashy,  Sugar Lips, Muffin...etc., etc...

02. Natural hair color?
Blondish Brown

03. Initials?
AEMM

04. Hair style?
Long, with whispy bangs.

5. Eye color?
Ummm, I dunno like, blue, greenish yellow...with brown spots.

06. Height:
5'2

07. Pets:
2 dogs

08. Mood?
Excited :)

09. Where would you rather be?
Somewhere warm...

10. What was the last thing you drank?
Water.

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE:

01. Have you ever been in love: Yes!

02. Do you believe in love? Ummm, yeah...

03. Why did your LAST relationship fail?

04. Have you ever been heartbroken: Yes...

05. Have you ever broken someone's heart?Yes...

06. Have you ever fallen for your best friend?Yupper...

07. Have you ever liked someone but never told them? Nope.

08. Are you afraid of commitment? No.

10. Have you had more than 5 different serious relationships in your life?No.

4 EMOTIONS
___________________________________________________________
01. Are you missing someone right now?
Yes, I miss many people.

02. Are you happy?
Yupper, I am excited for Gio's Bday!

03. Are you eating anything?
No but I am hungry!

04. Do you like someone right now? 
Mmmmhmmmm......

http://www.myspacesurveyfun.com">MySpace

 

9:37 PM 
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November 30, 2007 - Friday 

Current mood:  busy
Category: Life
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:

(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss' car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.

4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.

5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable. (again moaning is a sound woman make during whoopi not acceptable quit your bitchin)

7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is
strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.

8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.

10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend. (and if you really do this you may never ever get ass again lol)

11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless
model and only when it's free.

12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.

13: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

15: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.

16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.

17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.

18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.

20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.

21: Phrases that may NOT be uttered to another man while lifting weights:
(a) Yeah, Baby, Push it!
(b) C'mon, give me one more! Harder!
(c) Another set and we can hit the showers!

22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing: i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other
situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.

23: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.

24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal, drunken monkey sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.

25: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.

26: Thou shalt not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.

27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox. End of story.

28: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next."

7:08 PM 
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