bulletins:
1) i don't know, but do you really think everyone on your friends list wants to take every stinkin' survey you can find on the internet? knock it off. i do not want to take a survey from a guy asking me if i want to kiss him or how much i love him. if you are sending out such a survey simply trolling for babes, tell me early on not to read it. and no, i do not want to kiss you.
2) so you have some new pictures to share. post a bulletin and tell everyone. we will then choose to view and comment at our convenience. no one wants or needs three more bulletin reminders that you need affirmation about your damn pictures and your depression over their lack of comments.
3) you post a bulletin about some event that is going to happen. cool. how about once the event is over, you remove your now 'old news notice'? having to wade through your antiquated announcements is like seeing last week's yard sale signs still left up on the pole. please remove your outdated bulletins.
4) in general, once you have cleverly fabricated your insightful bulletin, read it. then determine in your mind if your type written prose is something you would find enthralling to read, had someone else posted it. if not, don't post it.

comments:
1) i love your comments, as long as they are comments. it cracks me up when i read comments that are nothing more then one sided chat dialog. comments like "yes i did" and "thanks, you too" and "your welcome" are not comments, they are fragments of conversation best left to instant or text messaging. what's even funnier is how you share these riveting chat fragments, left lingering forever more in your comment section. "wow, i have 4793 comments!" sure you do, but you only have 19 that are really worth reading. the rest are a mind numbing chore to scan through.
2) cute kitty cat and puppy comments with glittery ornamentation may be deleted upon first glance. while i appreciate the time you took to post your darling little pretty, i have epilepsy and may slip into seizure if i glace upon your submission for more than 3 seconds. ok, i'm lying, i just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
3) i generally sift through comments on occasion and blow out a few, so don't take it personally if i delete one of yours. if i didn't like you, i'd delete you along with your comment.
4) friends that send those moronic spam comments announcing "Click here to buy your friends, get bought, and find out how much you're worth!" are not your friends. delete them immediately! do not send that idiotic bullshit to anyone. let your shitty 'app' spam my page and you are gone.

your page:
1) i'm sure the music you ambush me with is the hottest sound around. you love it and wish to share it with me right away. i could go on and on about how wrong you are, but hey, to each our own. i like playing the game, "how fast can i turn off this dreck?".
2) you have put much time on your page. you tweaked it to perfection and loaded it with so much stuff to share with us, your loyal friends. problem is, it's overloaded with so much moving, blinking, and glittery confection, it's a convoluted mess that takes too long to load. the background color is so similar to your text, it has to be highlighted in order to read it.
3) your position on someone's friends list should not be the sole reason for you to commit suicide. relax. it's not worth getting bent out of shape because you fall a bit further back on your friend's friends list than 'hot skanky ho'. maybe 'hot skanky ho' has better pictures then you do and your friend needs faster access to them. just be satisfied you are on the list in the first place.
4) every one of your picture captions says something like," i'm such a dork",  "this one is terrible" or "god i look fat" or "i am sooooo ugly." first of all, if the pictures are really that ugly, don't post them. secondly, if you're clearly gorgeous and caption all your pictures as "fat" and "ugly", it's a blatant cry for compliments. knock it off and grow some confidence.
5) why don't you have any pictures posted? it's not 1998. if you don't have a digital camera, webcam, photo scanner, or cameraphone, you probably have a friend who does. take and post some damn pictures.
6) eVeRyThInG iN yOuR pRoFiLe Is TyPeD lIkE tHiS. its like a damn code, stop it,  it's not 1992.
7) if your profile is filled with words like, lyke, hawt, gawd, playah, gurl, boi, and sexxi, i suggest cracking open a dictionary, boi.

ads:
do people really click and "play" those "free" advertisement games on myspace? seriously, do you really think you're going to get a free Wii just for playing a game an infant could win? who are these people that keep these things going by participating? i suppose in order for myspace to be and remain free, there must be several thousand mindless click junkies willing to part with sizable sums in order to get their "free" whatever.

videos:
has anyone found a worthy myspace video yet? you've tried several dozen and have yet to see one that was worth the time it took to watch it? don't worry, there are no myspace videos worth watching. if you do happen to find one, let me know, as i am done looking for one.

in general:
it would serve you well to perhaps run any and all text you post through a spell check. then study each correction, as lernin' is fun! proofread your submission for grammatical errors, such as, but not limited to:
1) lack of punctuation. throw in a comma every now and then. people need to catch a breath while reading your run-on sentences. periods make a fitting conclusion to almost every sentence you make. try a few and see.
2) you meant "you're", right? "you're" is the abbreviation for 'you are'. you typed "your", which is an attributive adjective showing possession, as in, "use your brain". phrases like "your so pretty" and "your coming to my bitchin' party, right?" make no sense. please make a note of these often used and confused homonyms so you can use them correctly next time.
3) join me in my crusade to end text messaging abbreviations. things like: LOL and ROFLMAO. let's face it, it's rare that you are really laughing out loud. i'm willing to bet a large sum that you have never actually laughed your ass off. it's never happened to anyone anywhere at anytime. keep the art of using whole words alive and active in your addled brain. also, stop using smilies! they creep me the hell out.
4) you do not have 1963 friends. you have maybe 20. the rest are casual acquaintances, every band you ever heard of, random hot babes/guys, and a horde of strangers you somehow managed to trick into "thanks for the add". your popularity status amongst the masses is in no way attributed to how many "friends" you can collect.