Introduction:

Hi. My name is Phil.  You don't know me, and realistically speaking, you don't need to. All you need to know is that for 14 days I served as ... your gateway to the Ugli Stick AFE tour through the South Pacific.   Over the next few blogs I'll do my best to be a transparent gateway, at that.  You'll know what it was like to perform at Pearl Harbor on the fourth of july, you'll also learn which band member got sexually groped by a stripper from Guam.  It was just one of those kinds of trips.

Day 1 - Travel to Lihue, HA.

This story starts at the airport.  Much of this story takes place in airports.  Hours upon hours upon hours of airports. 20,000 miles in the air, 15 different take offs and landings. So much so  that, after a while, it began to feel like we were in that Tom Hanks movie that no one really saw, rendering the effectiveness of this reference somewhat debatable.

We arrive at the Mobile airport at around 5am.  This seems absurdly early for a noon flight, but we have something like 29 pieces of luggage to check.   So, in sequence, we rise, followed shortly thereafter by the sun.  By the time the luggage has been checked, it is 6am, so we have a few hours to kill.   I suggest sleep at the same time everyone else suggests "The Crackerbarrel."


 

 

To me, the name "Cracker Barrel" should be considered incredibly racist but somehow it isn't.  I feel like if I opened a restaurant called The Darkie Barn people would say something.  Nothing good, but that's neither here nor there.

At any rate. The establishment lacks any real slogan that I'm aware of, but I present one for their consideration: "If you like buyin' random shit and eating breakfast, come to the Cracker Barrel."  They have adopted the theme-park style of capitalism, where you take something that stands alone (breakfast. A roller coaster) and then .... capitalize on it. "While you're here, maybe you'd like to buy..."   The dialogue goes like this:

PATRON: I would like some eggs. and ham.
CB: Sure.
PATRON: Thanks, this is where our interaction should end.
CB: Yes, but...would you like salt and pepper shakers that look like cows?
PATRON: Why would I want that?
CB:   How about a cookie jar? It says "I'm sweet on the inside."
PATRON: ....
CB:  We've got American flag shirts too.  You know you want one.

If you are having a hard time connecting the desire for food and the desire for stuff that belongs on your grandma's shelf, don't feel bad, you're not supposed to.   Somehow it works.  Eric, oddly enough, was in the market for an American Flag shirt, so he bought one.




While he was trying it on("Dressing rooms? No."), I overheard the tail end of a conversation that Dale was having with an employee.  Based on Dale's expression, I knew Dale didn't want any part of that conversation.  They were talking about snipers.

This guy was talking about being a sniper in a way that pretty much confirmed that he had never been a sniper.  It involved going to the mall, and "feeling people's eyes on me."   To punctuate this story, he said "This is why I carry these." and wolverined two switchblades from his pockets, in either hand.   Apparently the Cracker Barrel in Mobile is a hot-bed for violence that can only be dispatched with two (2!) blades.  Then he said he had three jobs, one for each of his kids.  He suggested that if we didn't want to have 3 jobs, we shouldn't have kids.  I wanted to say "I don't know about having all those kids, I couldn't stand feeling their eyes on me." I didn't.   I felt for those three kids, and their Dad who was never home, and wouldn't take them back to school shopping without camo, and when he was home -- knives.  Dale simply one word-answered him until we escaped to our table.

 
Breakfast was nondescript, One Shot / Two Blades came by and said something about our iPhones. "That's the most hated phone in the world right now."  It was a statement that was so wrong that it didn't bear addressing, so we didn't.

     ---

After eating (fleeing) we went to Bobby's house to sleep.  Bobby (like everyone in the band) defies classification, as he is a walking jumble of interests and abilities, and he looks like he is trying to decide whether to crush you ("I just feel safe around him" -  Eric's brother's wife), but is actually super nice, and gets excited about things like taking pictures of sunsets..  Dale retreats to the bathroom, and emerges with a new outlook on life, matrimony, employment, and the perks thereof.  He says as much:

"I gotta get me a good looking woman and a job so I can get some good butt-paper.  You have the best butt-paper I've ever used."

DALE (The Professor) -

On stage his physical presence is best described as statuesque.  Motionless.  This is not a bad thing, or a good thing. It's just what is.  Off stage, however, Dale is the most verbally active person in the band.  His sense of humor is a. great and b. always on.   But, more curious, is his unparalleled ability (and willingness)  to hold forth, knowledgeably about any number of subjects.   From political uprisings to making rope out of venison Dale will hold an impromptu 45 minute lecture that is both knowledgeable and well delivered. 

After a too short nap we return to the airport.  My exhaustion is unfortunate because it is the start of what is destined to be two weeks of sleeplessness.  The plane we're supposed to depart on has been delayed.  Our luggage made it, as a result, our -four- connecting flights all have to be rescheduled, and there's some question as to whether or not we're going to make it at all.   Kathy, the manager, is distraught.  The rest of the guys are nonplussed.   Tours of this type are like living organisms, evolving and changing.   If you're flying into a war zone, or across six or seven time zones, things change.

The band spends the time laughing, joking, just basically being four guys that have known each other for a decade or so.











While we wait, the local news crew shows up.  They interview the band and something unexpected happens:  The sarcastic, joking, and mostly hysterical band becomes very conservative, and ...polite.  Again, not necessarily a bad thing, but the people who give the interview are not the people that are about to board the plane, and I realize that this happens to everyone who stands in front of a camera, or gets interviewed.  They conduct themselves like other people who they've seen being interviewed.  It is the learned interview-ee personality.

Finally, we're cleared to board, and we do. 

---

Mobile,AL  -> Dallas, TX -> Los Angeles, CA -> Honolulu, HI -> Lihue, HI

That's the way that our route was supposed to look.  When we arrive in Los Angeles we discover that Kathy and Eric are now booked on a different flight on a different airline.  It's not a big deal as the gate attendant assures us that they'll only be a few minutes behind.  The same gate attendant was probably fast asleep in her bed while Eric and Kathy end up sleeping on the sidewalk outside the Honolulu, HI airport, but that all happens later.  What happens first is the five of us, Dale, Quentin, Tim, Bobby and myself, just barely make our flight to Honolulu.






The Honolulu airport is unrepentantly Honolulu.  Half of the airport is open air, so while you walk from gate to gate you are exposed to the elements.  The architecture effectively says "IT IS ALWAYS NICE HERE." (or "SUCK IT, DULUTH.") 

Our flight from Honolulu to Lihue was obstructed by some cockup that required me calling one agency, and putting them on the phone with the gate agent, who then got frustrated and slammed my cell-phone down, before finally resolving things. Aloha.   

After a brief, uneventful flight we landed in Lihue.  The details get skinny here just due to sheer fatigue.  We'd watched the sunrise in Mobile, and set in Honolulu.  The time zone differential was six hours, and we were tired enough to make that minor calculation arduous. "Six? So if it's 7pm that must mean it's...plus one, plus two is nine, wait, but midnight...screw it."    We made our way to the baggage claim expecting the worst.  We'd checked 29 pieces of luggage in Mobile.  It was at this point the guys told me the story about their previous tour in something-stan.  I wasn't there, but maybe someone else will fill in the gaps.  It involves M16s.

The people of lihue were not as interested, and as such there was no artillery-based dispersiond.  The equipment was neatly piled over in the corner, so we loaded it up into the van, and as far away from home as I'd ever been, we went to Wal-Mart.  I was jazzed, and interacted with everyone accordingly, thinking that theyw ould share in my excitement, but they were as thrilled as every person you've ever met working at a wal-mart. 

Afterwards, we stopped at a pancake house, and met "The coolest waitress ever." She was getting married, although she didn't believe in monogamy (please, no "double stack" jokes), and that this just sort of happened. She moved to Hawaii to study some holistic thing which I barely understood but it involved theta waves, conversation, and using the latter to change the former to fix...nearly everything.

"I don't think you can talk someone out of a genetic predisposition." - Dale




After the meal we went home, and I saw one of the most beautiful moon..rises? I'd ever seen. And for your viewing pleasure, here it is:

The Pacific tour for Armed Forces Entertainment is going GREAT! On July 2nd (just hours after Eric's flight finally arrived....that's a whole other story!) we played to about 3,000 people at PMRF Barking Sands on Kauai. It was a fun "Stars and Stripes" celebration with a big fireworks show! Early on July 3rd we headed to the airport and caught a flight to Honolulu to get ready for the 4th of July shows at Hickam AFB and Pearl Harbor. Let me stop here and say that the folks at these bases couldn't be any nicer!! Sarah, Darlene, Shelley, Angela, Lara, Helen and Ashley have been taking awesome care of us...not to mention taking us everywhere including a luau on July 3rd. NOTE: a pig cooked in the ground tastes pretty darn good! Okay, back to the 4th of July. The first show was at Hickam AFB at 1:00 pm. This was, without a doubt, the most picturesque view we've ever had from a stage!! Clear, teal water for as far as the eye could see and Diamond Head standing tall in the distance. Wow! Oh...got to meet two VIPs from the base....Colonel Giovanni Tuck and Deputy Frank Faire. It was an honor to perform and we really enjoyed playing for the troops and their families. Minutes after that show ended, we hopped in a van and headed to Pearl Harbor for an even bigger show at 5:00 pm! Thousands of people gathered on the lawn and enjoyed the awesome weather and Ugli Stick music. There were also tons of food booths and kids' activities....everyone was having a great time! After the show, we gave out CDs and autographed pictures for new fans of all ages.  Of course, the fireworks finale over Pearl Harbor was the highlight of the evening! However, for some, the band's cover of Black Sabbath's "War Pigs" was definitely a close second!

Without a doubt, this was a day we'll never forget.

Stay tuned.... more adventures on the way as we head to the Marshall Islands tomorrow at 4:30 am!

If you're ready for some good TV and a whole bunch of new music by The Ugli Stick, tune into the new season of Drag Race High starting tomorrow, Wednesday, February 18, at 9:30 pm EST on Speed Channel! Can't wait? Then check out new tunes now at www.myspace.com/theuglistick including the show's theme song, "Put It On The Wood"!

It may be winter but The Ugli Stick's gonna stay warm this January as they head to Cali for The NAMM Show in Anaheim! The band was again chosen from hundreds and hundreds of applicants to be one of the few featured acts at the upcoming show, January 15 - 18, 2009 (www.thenammshow.com). What's NAMM and why is this such a big deal? NAMM, which stands for the National Association of Music Merchants, is the global organization for all things music. This tradeshow draws 80,000+ people ready to check out miles of aisles of the the newest, hottest gear, network with other music products professionals and, of course, experience great, new music! Which is just what The Ugli Stick is planning to deliver at their TWO performances! And talk about a star-studded event, too! From rock gods to country legends and all points in between, the stars add to the spectacle as they pose for pictures and talk shop with show attendees. It's a HUGE event and so much fun! Wonder if any surprise guests will join Ugli on stage again? We'll keep ya posted!

 

 

I am going to do everything I can to not embarrass any parties involved, but I have got to speak on this.

By the way, these are my feelings on the subject, only mine. Not Dale's, Eric's or Q's or Kathy's, just mine.

We played a function recently. I wont say what. I wont say where.

I will say that it is the kind of function that we normally do not play. But we occasionally make exceptions........

We got there, soundchecked. Talked to some of the people putting on the event, who were all very nice.

We get the same questions we sometimes get when we play private functions....

"What songs do you play?"
"Do you play this song?"
"Why wont you play this song?"
"You must do this song...it goes like this." (bad singing of the song we don't play, ensues)

We go on to play the event. And we have a good time and the crowd seems to have a good time.

Right?........wrong.

We get an official complaint that we, "misrepresented who we were".

From a person who wasn't even there. They heard from someone at the show and decided to lodge a complaint

This person said:

"They didnt play any hip hop............
and The crowd didnt dance when they played......"

It was a 4 hour gig. If you think we do a four hour gig and not play hip-hop, well thats kinda crazy.
And they were right, no one danced....for the first 15 minutes. They stayed up for the rest of the event. All night.

Matter of fact, we got the biggest responses when we played Sublime, 311 and Rage Against the Machine, all non-hip-hop tunes.

So the point of all this is the following:

1. If you are going to book a band, especially us, do your homework ahead of time and find out what type of music we play.

Our manager is more than helpful when it comes to sending a list of the cover songs and originals we perform. We have been around a while now and more often than not, someone can tell you what we do. We may not be for everybody, but we appeal to a broad range of fan.

2. If you are gonna lodge a complaint against us....actually be at the show you are ticked off about and get your facts straight.


Btw. We had a great time at the event and even played some of our original material there and it was very well received.

So thats it. I just needed to vent my spleen about that. We pride ourselves in putting on a good show and one thing I think we do very well is we know how to represent ourselves well. When we first heard about this complaint it made us laugh and I figured i could get a funny blog out of it.

Cheers.


Your Boy,


Timothy

The world's largest ketchup bottle? Retro diners? This band has logged a lot of miles but never on Route 66....until now! Thanks to the wonderful folks at NAPA Auto Parts and High Five Entertainment, we'll soon be featured on the "NAPA Channel" for a segment about life on the road in a touring rock band! From Chicago to St. Louis and all points in between, they're filming us in all our glory. The good....the bad....the UGLI! And it's definitely gonna get Ugli when we take the stage at great venues like House of Blues and The Way Out Club. No, you won't find the NAPA Channel on your TV. But, if you're shopping in one of the 6,000 NAPA Auto Parts stores across the country, you just might catch our segment on an in-store TV! Visit www.napaonline.com (click "NAPA Channel" in the toolbar at top) to see segments on Bucky Covington and Luke Bryan. We're filming May 11 - 15.

Camp As Siliyah , Qatar

We arrived by a 25 minute ride by truck to Camp As Saliyah, it was slightly north of Al Udeid. We passed about 8 very heavily armed checkpoints to get inside the base. Once inside, we went straight to the venue where we would be performing. It was a warehouse and inside the warehouse was several separate restaurants, bars and a bowling alley. And thats all before you get to the stage. Which had to be one of the biggest stages we had played up to that date. At the back of the stage was the largest American Flag I have ever seen. It was the backdrop for one of our new promo pics that you see now. The stage was surrounded by video games, flat screen tv’s, in the back there was a library and a theater to watch the latest movies and a USO station to make calls home. We were brought to the base by Capt. Ken Marshall and were introduced to Master Sgt. Brenda McClain and Sgt DJ. We called her DJ the whole time. Mstr. Sgt. McClain and Sgt. DJ took very good care of us while we were there. We were introduced to the point man in charge. Major Willets. he informed us we would be going to meet the Commander of the Base and doing photos with him. WE loaded in and were whisked away to meet the Base Commander. There we were honored to sign his book of celebrities, like pro wrestlers, Diamond Dallas Page and Greg " The Hammer" Valentine. I was honored, for sho!
We were briefed about how the land of Qatar is rich in natural gas deposits and that all native Qatarese get paid for use of their land by the US Government. And that the base is also another Rest and Relaxation base.

We did photos with the Base Commander and went back to the venue to do soundcheck. After that we were shown to our rooms. Inside these huge warehouses are railroad cars renovated into little dorm room apartments. We got to stay in those. And through the luck of the draw, I got my own room. It was really nice. It had a tv and vcr/dvd player ( and none of those things worked) but I appreciated it just the same. I found out that there was a laundry service in each warehouse, I thought that I would cry i was so happy.

We performed twice at the venue. Both shows were packed with soldiers on leave. We got a great response at both shows with the signings of cd’s and photo opportunities. It was great.

The last day we were performing there. Major Willets took us sightseeing to a local town called Doha. The Mstr. Sgt had told the Major about my glasses problem and said we would look into helping me. We stopped at a huge mall outside Doha. I noticed that Major Willets had Oakley brand wearing glasses and I remarked how nice they were and he told me that he was glad I thought so, because he was taking me to the same place he bought the Oakley glasses. We walked into Qatar Optics and the salesmen were wearing Armani suits. It was a friggin boutique!. The major explained to the salesmen that I was performing for the troops at the base and I needed glasses ASAP!.
I saw some Oakley frames and asked how much they were. The salesman asked if that was what I wanted. I replied yes. And before I knew what had happed they told me they would be ready at 8pm. The problem was, I played at 8pm. The Major said someone from the base will come pick them up at 8pm and take them to the base for me. I was moved almost to tears. I had been blind now for 8 days and I was so excited about being able to see again, I was speechless.

I thanked the Major profusely for his help in the negotiations for the glasses. They were normally 400 US dollars and I got them for about 160. We then got back in the car and went on a sightseeing tour through Doha. It looked like downtown Dallas or Atlanta, It was very westernized. We went to some gold souqs and some of us bought very nice pearls and gold for presents and we got to haggle a bit. It was fun. Then we went to an amazing restaurant where we ate local Middle Eastern food. We ate till we almost exploded. We got back to the show just in time. And at the first set break, Master Sgt. McClain brought me my new glasses! I was so happy! I could see again.

We rocked out the show and broke down everything for the nex t trip. I called my wife and told her how awesome it was to see again. I went back to my dorm room and did laundry all night. i even washed clothes I just wore just that day because I didn’t know if I was going to get to do laundry again at the rate things were going.

The next day we loaded out and hung out with the Master Sgt and Sgt DJ and met Tony , he worked at the rec center with Mstr. Sgt. McClain. He looked just like James Brown. And he was without a doubt a GREAT ping pong player. I mean he must have beat 3 people in twenty minutes, playfully trash talking the whole time.

We said goodbye to Major Willets, MSgt. McClain and Sgt DJ. and prepared to get ready to go to Al Dafra in the UAE>

Camp As Siliyah , Qatar

We arrived by a 25 minute ride by truck to Camp As Saliyah, it was slightly north of Al Udeid. We passed about 8 very heavily armed checkpoints to get inside the base. Once inside, we went straight to the venue where we would be performing. It was a warehouse and inside the warehouse was several separate restaurants, bars and a bowling alley. And thats all before you get to the stage. Which had to be one of the biggest stages we had played up to that date. At the back of the stage was the largest American Flag I have ever seen. It was the backdrop for one of our new promo pics that you see now. The stage was surrounded by video games, flat screen tv’s, in the back there was a library and a theater to watch the latest movies and a USO station to make calls home. We were brought to the base by Capt. Ken Marshall and were introduced to Master Sgt. Brenda McClain and Sgt DJ. We called her DJ the whole time. Mstr. Sgt. McClain and Sgt. DJ took very good care of us while we were there. We were introduced to the point man in charge. Major Willets. he informed us we would be going to meet the Commander of the Base and doing photos with him. WE loaded in and were whisked away to meet the Base Commander. There we were honored to sign his book of celebrities, like pro wrestlers, Diamond Dallas Page and Greg " The Hammer" Valentine. I was honored, for sho!
We were briefed about how the land of Qatar is rich in natural gas deposits and that all native Qatarese get paid for use of their land by the US Government. And that the base is also another Rest and Relaxation base.

We did photos with the Base Commander and went back to the venue to do soundcheck. After that we were shown to our rooms. Inside these huge warehouses are railroad cars renovated into little dorm room apartments. We got to stay in those. And through the luck of the draw, I got my own room. It was really nice. It had a tv and vcr/dvd player ( and none of those things worked) but I appreciated it just the same. I found out that there was a laundry service in each warehouse, I thought that I would cry i was so happy.

We performed twice at the venue. Both shows were packed with soldiers on leave. We got a great response at both shows with the signings of cd’s and photo opportunities. It was great.

The last day we were performing there. Major Willets took us sightseeing to a local town called Doha. The Mstr. Sgt had told the Major about my glasses problem and said we would look into helping me. We stopped at a huge mall outside Doha. I noticed that Major Willets had Oakley brand wearing glasses and I remarked how nice they were and he told me that he was glad I thought so, because he was taking me to the same place he bought the Oakley glasses. We walked into Qatar Optics and the salesmen were wearing Armani suits. It was a friggin boutique!. The major explained to the salesmen that I was performing for the troops at the base and I needed glasses ASAP!.
I saw some Oakley frames and asked how much they were. The salesman asked if that was what I wanted. I replied yes. And before I knew what had happed they told me they would be ready at 8pm. The problem was, I played at 8pm. The Major said someone from the base will come pick them up at 8pm and take them to the base for me. I was moved almost to tears. I had been blind now for 8 days and I was so excited about being able to see again, I was speechless.

I thanked the Major profusely for his help in the negotiations for the glasses. They were normally 400 US dollars and I got them for about 160. We then got back in the car and went on a sightseeing tour through Doha. It looked like downtown Dallas or Atlanta, It was very westernized. We went to some gold souqs and some of us bought very nice pearls and gold for presents and we got to haggle a bit. It was fun. Then we went to an amazing restaurant where we ate local Middle Eastern food. We ate till we almost exploded. We got back to the show just in time. And at the first set break, Master Sgt. McClain brought me my new glasses! I was so happy! I could see again.

We rocked out the show and broke down everything for the nex t trip. I called my wife and told her how awesome it was to see again. I went back to my dorm room and did laundry all night. i even washed clothes I just wore just that day because I didn’t know if I was going to get to do laundry again at the rate things were going.

The next day we loaded out and hung out with the Master Sgt and Sgt DJ and met Tony , he worked at the rec center with Mstr. Sgt. McClain. He looked just like James Brown. And he was without a doubt a GREAT ping pong player. I mean he must have beat 3 people in twenty minutes, playfully trash talking the whole time.

We said goodbye to Major Willets, MSgt. McClain and Sgt DJ. and prepared to get ready to go to Al Dafra in the UAE>

Bagram, Afghanistan

So back we go to Bagram. Back to the lovely confines of our VIP bunkbeds. Actually, the travel and nonstop running and gunning is finally catching up to us and we decide our first night back we are going to pass the f* out!
I must have slept from 8pm to 6am the next day and that is extremely unusual for me. We get up and do the general running around we have gotten used to and we check out the venue that we will be playing at, they call it "The Clamshell".

For me the whole experience has now hit a lull for me because of not having my glasses. I really cant see well without them. And now my only solace is calling my new wife at home and whining to her about not being able to see and her response is always the same, completely positive. "Try to enjoy this experience, babes" We load into the clamshell and get our soundcheck and go eat with our two handlers at Bagram, Sgt Stovall and Sgt. Allen. They have spent more time with us then any people thus far and have really started to open up and goof with us and crack jokes.

We do our performance at the Clamshell that night and play for the smallest crowd at any base we were performing at. That being said they were so loud and crazy that we played the longest sets of the tour. Don’t forget this is Afghanistan, NO ALCOHOL AT ALL!

We got some big love from our two Sgts. and signed cds and talked to soldiers and I got to meet a couple who have seen us in Auburn at clubs and parties. It was really great to see some Alabama folks. Of course, I couldnt actually see them....(ha-ha). We had another great time and immediately broke our stuff down andgot ready to head back out tomorrow.

The next day we awoke to the clearest and most beautiful day of the trip. We went and had breakfast and went to the flight area. And then we saw it. The mountains had not been clearer or more beautiful. This natural defense of Bagram’s just made me appreciate the brilliance of our military that much more. Ain’t nobody getting through these mountains without being seen from any angle!

We said our heartfelt goodbyes to Sgt. Stovall and Sgt. Allen and they had been so good to us. We told them to look us up when they got home and to stay in touch. We gave out cds to any servicemen or women who wanted one and took pictures. It was awesome.

We boarded our C-130 and prepared for our trip to Qatar!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Al Udeid, Qatar

We got to Qatar at sundown and it was breathtaking to see the desert at sundown. Here in Qatar, you actually got to see the rolling hills of sand stretching its arms as far back as you could see. It was incredible. We get off the plane after our 5 hour flight and start the process of going through customs.

We sit down with about 30 other servicemen in the terminal and a soldier with a clipboard gets us to start filling out paperwork and begins his prepared speech...

"Welcome to Qatar, we are happy to have you here and we need you to understand that you will have to go through Qatarese customs to get on the base. So let me make this clear......
1. If you have alcohol of any kind, you will be arrested.
2. If you have drugs of any kind, you will be arrested.
3. If you have pornography of any kind, you will be arrested, that includes bikini pictures and we will go through your computers and your phones to check and see if you have any on them. If you have any on your computer, we have hard drives to wipe them off."

I swear to you he was looking straight at us when he gave us that speech. Well, we were safe. I think dale got rid of a photography magazine with a girl in a swimsuit on the cover, but otherwise, we were in the clear.

We got to see the pickiness of the Qatarese first hand. Making soldiers take everything out and show it to them during customs checks. After an hour or so, we got our gear and luggage through and we meet our point guy, John Kelly. He reminded me of Michael Clarke Duncan from the Green Mile. He was SWOLL!!
He asked us what kind of music we were like and we told him and he started talking to us about bands he liked . It was nice. He really put us at ease after we thought we were going to prison for anything!

He took us to dinner and then showed us to our tent. Then showed us around the base. We all went to a px to buy some stuff and it was there that Dale and I figured something out. It may not happen everywhere, but we did not need to have travellers checks at all. We couldnt get anyone to take these anywhere. So we vowed to take them to the nearest finance office at the base and exchange them. We were taken to our tent. More bunkbeds. Kick ass. Once again, we passed out. I got up at 3 am to call Caitlin at home and looked around the base. It was easily the biggest base we had been on to date. I walked by the outdoor venue called" The Bra" because ironically , it did look like a huge bra on tent stilts. I t could hold 800 people easy. Our little PA was going to be stretched to the limit.

I found the rec center, the media center and the library. This was another rest and relaxation base so there were a lot of ways that servicemen and women could pass the time. And all of these were open 24hours a day. A far cry from what Afghanistan was like. The rec center had pool and ping pong tables, a movie theater, a area for people to play xbox 360 and ps3. So I stayed there a lot. Just to take my mind off of my missing glasses and missing home and my wife and pups.

Next day, we were up and officially, it was warm. No need for jackets right now. We went and had breakfast and took a full tour of the base and got over to The Bra and loaded in our stuff. We couldnt make noise for several hours so we just got our instruments set up and waited for sound check. It was there we met Miss Serria, she would be another handler. Did I mention she was beautiful, totally. She worked at the rec center and had a great sense of humor. She made sure we were taken care of. Sound check time rolls around and "BAM" the power goes out. I ask one of the service guys if that has ever happened and he said "No, I have been here two years and the power has never gone out". Three hours later, the power comes back on and we do a really quick sound check and I go to the rec center to relax and wait for the show.

We come out swinging for the fences and rock out for two hours! There must have been 600 service people there and we got to meet them and shake their hands and hug them, and sign cds and take pics with them. It was such a good time. And unlike during the day, it was cool and chilly at night. So I had a blast, I dont think the rest of the band liked it as much as me.

We pack up and get ready for our road trip to the next base, which is only 20 minutes away by truck. We got up the next day , ate and perpared to go. We stopped by the rec center and the music they were playing on the PA system in the rec center was the Ugli Stick! Pretty sweet. We said our goodbyes to everybody at the rec center and prepared to go through Qatarese customs. This had been the 3rd or 4 th time going through so the Qatarese had gotten used to us by now. One time previous, we didn’t have the right paperwork so we sat in line at the baggage x-ray machine for an hour and a half. This time Dale and Eric were playing them songs on the guitar. We took photos with them! And we breezed through customs. I guess music IS the universal language.
Much Love to everybody at Al Udeid. John Kelly, Serria, Rog, and K.B., we love you.

Our next adventure is at Camp As Silayah....stay tuned.

Chapter 3 - Bagram, Afghanistan
We land in Bagram, Afghnistan. Its cold, rainy, and foggy. Its apparent this is way more serious environment than we realize. The first thing we notice is that everybody is armed. I mean everybody. When we land we get taken to the Bagram terminal check in and there are at least 200 soldiers in there from all over the world, and they are all very heavily armed. We meet our handlers at Bagram, Sgt. Allen and Sgt. Stovall. They take us to the other side of the base and show us to our room.They call it the VIP quarters. Its a shack filled with bunkbeds. The bottom of the top bunk that I slept under had "Bo Bice - 08’" written on it. Nice huh? Its like summer camp, except all the kids are heavily armed.
Its muddy and dreary. At night, there’s no light at all. If you have to go to the bathroom, you do so in complete darkness. Its like a tomb. The only phones we get to use are in the Sgts. office and they are very accommodating. We learn that Sgt. Stovall will be coming with us to the rest of our Afghanistan tour. Bagram is only a stop off, we head to Jalalabad next. No show in Bagram for a few days.

Chapter 4 - Jalalabad, Afghanistan
We head out to Jalalabad on a puddle jumper. We head out with Sgt Stovall and flak jackets and helmets. We land the plane like it was a roller coaster. It was great. Our contact in JBad was Sgt. Johnson. If you have seen the movie ALIENS, he is a dead ringer for Sgt. Apone in the film. In look and attitude. We arrive at the base, it is like springtime weather here. And check into our tent, and stow our gear. Sgt. Johnson takes us on a tour. We get to see a Taliban Jail, an Afghani Military Base, and just beyond the horizon a mountain range and beyond that Pakistan. Sgt Johnson tells us that this is the "Forgotten War". That men and women die every day in Afghanistan and because of the conflicts going on in Iraq, that it gets no coverage. We see outside the fences to the base, young Afghani children who throw rocks at the helicopters that make runs every day to engage the enemy in the mountains.

We also hear that the Taliban hates to fight in the cold.
Dale and I found that a bit strange. Dedication to a cause to the death, .....unless its cold.
We meet a helicopter pilot, Mr. McLaughlin, he was the spitting image of Maverick in Top Gun. Cocky and arrogant and totally assured of his abilities and those of his comrades. "Taking off is optional, landing is mandatory" "You may not see us in the air at night, but we definitely see you".
It was a pleasure to watch him show us the in’s and out’s of his helicopter. It kind of made you very patriotic and safe. Knowing that a guy this confident in what he can do is up there protecting you. We got to see the conditions of the camp were much like the conditions at Bagram. Except its sunny and not muddy. We checked in and loaded our gear into the mess hall. We prepared for our show later that night. Get a sound check and eat dinner. Before the show a couple of guys who dressed like frat guys approached Eric and asked him if after the show we wanted to go hang out with them. Of course we said yes. we are up for hanging out always. They turned out to be Special Forces. Sgt. Johnson calls them "Secret Squirrel" because their missions are just that,.. "secret". Eric said he was gonna rap about them in his freestyle that night and one of them said, "Don’t do that." Very seriously. I’ll leave it at that.

We play at 8 p.m. that night and play well. During our show the crowd was much more subdued, because of the fact that there is no alcohol allowed on the base in Jbad. There was one guy though that danced like he was at a rave, in full army fatigues. Very entertaining.
One thing that we have noticed, the handlers at each base spend time with us and are genuinely nice, but they are much nicer when they find out that we are an actually good band. I guess thats because sometimes they have to work with people they dont enjoy, but they are all very professional. But they definitely open up to us before we leave their areas. I think its a healthy distance which is understandable in these tense times. They deal with combat every day.
The show goes very well, with a great cd signing and meet and greet. We pack up our gear and prepare to leave for Solerno, tomorrow. We sleep in our tent, being informed that its a big deal for us to get pillows and blankets because "those are luxuries around here".
We wake up the next day and get ready for Showtime (taking off). I go to the shower. Come back and put my glasses on and.........MY GLASSES BREAK! I don’t have a back up pair. So I ask the Sgts if they have an optical place to fix eyewear on base. And he laughs and says no. I get it together and accept I will be blind for the duration of the tour. Get ready to leave. We go to the prep flight area. And wait. And wait. And wait.
Seven hours later.......we are informed by Sgt. Stovall that our show in Solerno, Afghanistan has been cancelled because of the horrible weather in Bagram. Sgt. Johnson tells us that we may stay and play in the mess hall the next night if thats the case.
So we get up and get our stuff back and we can’t get back into our old tent. So they have to put us into a new tent. its a schoolhouse tent that is not being used at the time. And the Sgt. thought it would be great if we slept on the army issued cots. No problem. We are not prima donnas and we needed no preferential treatment. Later that night we load back into the mess hall and perform. Another great show. I find that not having my glasses isn’t the worst thing in the world. But at night, when it gets dark, finding things without a flashlight gets difficult. I get to know Sgt. Johnson better. I chat with him about his time at the base. He has been in the service a long time and is a lifer. He has been a fantastic host and has been a great inspiration. He is the benchmark of the soldier who has seen and done everything. Tomorrow we go back to Bagram. No show. Travel day. We get up early again and wait. This is a procedure the armed forces call "Hurry Up and Wait". We wait another several hours. We finally board our plane back to Bagram.

Chapter 5 to come!