The suppossed "fortunes" in Chinese fortune cookies tend to be rather bland at best. It has been discovered that a way to make them far more interesting is to add two simple words at the end of the fortune to spruce them up a bit; those two words being "...in bed".  This blog is intended for my amusement and possible the amusement of anyone else sucker enough to check this out. If anyone actually subscribes to this, I will be somewhat flattered and a touch bit disturbed.

The following are a collection of actual fortunes I have gotten from the cookies that came with various Chinese meals, modified with the words "...in bed". Obviously some may be better than others. I'll update when time, and cookies, are available.

November 2006----

"All of your hard work will soon be paid off...in bed."

"The harder the fall, the higher the bounce...in bed."

"Don't be surprised by the emergence of undiscovered talents...in bed."

December 2006----

"Do not be overly judgemental of your loved one's intentions or actions...in bed."

"You have the ability to adopt to diverse situations...in bed."

"The most important relationship in your life is with yourself...in bed."

"The really great man is the man who makes everyone feel great...in bed."

January 2007----

"There is a true and sincere friendship between you both...in bed."

"Don't pursue happiness - create it...in bed."

"Take calculated risks. That is quite different from being rash...in bed."

"Redecorating will be in your plans...in bed." (Alright that one sucked more than usual.)

February 2007----

"Your (sp) possess exceptional commanding and leadership ability...in bed."

"Engage in group activities that further transformation...in bed."

"You will learn something new every day...in bed."

"Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such...in bed."

March 2007----

"You will have a fine capacity for the enjoyment of life...in bed.."

"A feeling is an idea with roots...in bed."

"A bargain is not a bargain unless you can use the product...in bed."

April 2007----

"If the table moves, move with it." (This is fine as is without the '"in bed" added. *snicker*)

"Desire, like the atom, is explosive with creative force...in bed."

May 2007----

"You will always have good luck in your personal affairs...in bed."

"Good things are being said about you...in bed."

July 2007----

"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence...in bed."

"People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did it...in bed."

October 2007----

"It may be well to consult others before taking unusual actions...in bed."

November 2007----

"Happiness isn't an outside job, it's an inside job...in bed"

December 2007----

"All the world may not love a lover but they will be watching him...in bed"

January 2008----

" 'Should have' is a favorite phrase for those looking for excuses...in bed."