MySpace


MySpace.com | rss | sign in
Bubba Muski



Last Updated: 9/14/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Status: Single
City: Chicago
State: Illinois
Country: US
Signup Date: 7/28/2006

Blog Archive
[Older      Newer]
 /  / 
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities
Hey Folks,

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but Santa's weight is way out of control!  In order to help Santa healthy and so he can fit down those chimneys this year, Mrs. Clause has asked me to forward the following message to you:

"Dear Good Little Boys and Girls,

Please help keep my husband healthy this year!  Rather than leaving him milk and cookies, please leave him a few items of canned foods with a note requesting that he drops them off at the homeless shelter in your neighborhood.  Mr. Clause will honor your request.  If every boy and girl leave just one can, we will help keep Santa fit and trim for centuries and feed hundreds of homeless and less fortunate people all around the world.  This would be a blessing for countless people!

Thanks for your consideration,
Mrs. Clause."
11:34 PM 
2 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Monday, July 21, 2008 

Category: Religion and Philosophy

Whomever said: "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water" was probably volunteering for Planned Parenthood.

Whomever said: "The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach" never met my ex girlfriend.  She prefers stabbing you through the lungs.
 
Whomever said: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" was more than likely smuggling it across the boarder.
 
Whomever said: "Hunger is the best sauce"  probably never went hungry.
 
Whomever said: "What goes around, comes around" spends too much time watching NASCAR.

Whomever said: "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush" never had to pay a prostitute for that act.
 
Whomever said: "We'll cross that bridge when we come to it" never lived in Minnesota.
 
Whomever said: "Beauty is only skin deep" hasn't volunteered for the burn ward!
 
Whomever said: "The pen is mightier than the sword" never had to sign his name with bloody, dismembered stumps.
11:09 PM 
8 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Monday, July 21, 2008 

Current mood:  thoughtful
Category: Romance and Relationships
Finally, inarguable proof that men are less mature than women!  After pondering this question for comedic purposes, I've finally come across several psychological reasons for a male's lack of maturity. 
 
1. False Expectations:
When the male child is born, women find him irresistibly attractive. The male child is loved, cared for, cleaned, clothed and fed on demand.  The newborn male quickly learns to expect to everything taken care of for him. And best of all, if the male child cries long enough, he will obtain a face full of cleavage and then given a nice restful nap. However, once the fragile male brain reaches the age of "potty training" these luxuries are completely stripped from him.
 
2. Developmental Play:
Young female children tend to play with dolls, kitchen sets, stuffed animals, easy bake ovens and tea sets giving them a glimpse of what's to be expected of them later on in life.  However, their male counterparts play with aliens, lazar guns, super heroes and star cruisers giving them a false impression of their future expectations.  Thus, by the time a woman is in her early 20's, she's completely ready to start a family. Her mate, however, is still worried about the impending intergalactic space invasion.
 
3. Instinctual Behavior:
The adolescent female desires the need to feel protected. The male adolescent brain feels the need to be the protector.  However, the modern male adolescent no longer encounters the same threats that his ancestors once did. Thus, in order to feel like an adequate provider...  The adolescent male brain must seek out threats to be thwarted.  The male's brain often finds these threats in the form of video game monsters, magic the gathering cards and the for mentioned impending intergalactic space invasion
10:17 PM 
7 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Sunday, April 27, 2008 

Current mood:  animated
In honor of how ridicules the taxes are here in Chicago... During the entire month of May, you can get into The Under Pressure Improv Showcase absolutely FREE!! Plus, recieve and additional 20% off on your favorite alcoholic beverage! (must be 21 or over with valid ID to obtain alcohol)

Any or all of the following dates can be FREE:
May 2nd, May 9th, May 16th, May 23rd and May 30th. (Fridays)
Pressure Comedy Cafe
6318 North Clark Street
8:00 pm (seats) 8:30pm (showtime)
Free Parking in Pressure's Lot and plenty of free street parking.

No stupid coupons, codes, purchases or silly dances required. Just mention this bulletin and you're in. You can feel special by comping in your friends too... Bring 'em with and they're FREE too. Note: For best seating, arrive around 8:00pm.

FREE COMEDY!
FREE PARKING!
20% OFF ALCOHOL (Must be 21 or over with a valid ID to obtain alcohol)
ONLY AT THE UNDER PRESSURE IMPROV SHOWCASE, FRIDAYS IN MAY!

The Under Pressure Improv Showcase is Chicago's longest continuously running all-ages, independent, improvisational comedy showcase! Hosted by Bubba Muski, Chicago's most popular MySpace and Facebook Comedian.
10:37 PM 
4 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Sunday, March 23, 2008 

Current mood:  confused
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Here’s an interesting observation.  Over the past few years, the amount of personal items that one carries with them has increased by a huge amount.  Women have gone from small, fashionable purses that hold only a few essentials to what is know as a hobo bag stuffed to the hilts.  The men are no better.  Once, the simple wallet held everything that a man needed to get about town.  Now, the average businessman requires an attache and occasionally a backpack as well.  And both businessmen and women alike are rolling items around in containers which were once only used as airplane luggage!  

And, what are we caring around with us?  Our laptops, PDAs, Palm Pilots, Cell Phones, GPS, Blackberries, iPods, MP3 Players, Blue Tooth Technology, Mini Television Sets, Lazar Pointers, PSPs, WiFis, Nanos, Minis, Micros and a Vente Mocha Frappuccino. But, alas...weren’t these all modern conveniences that were supposed to streamline our lives and make things easier? Why are we lugging all this crap around with us?
Currently listening:
Technologic
By Daft Punk
Release date: 26 July, 2005
6:00 AM 
11 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Monday, March 10, 2008 

Current mood:  aroused
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
For some unexplained reason, the clocks in my car and on my VCR and microwave are registering the correct time again.  They'd been off by an hour for the past six months.  I think it's black magic!

Ah, the life of a comedian!
10:34 PM 
12 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Sunday, March 09, 2008 

Category: Life
A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections. - However, a slingshot and a perfect pebble can go a long way in acquiring that diamond.

If you don't want anyone to know, don't do it. - Or, dispose of the whitenesses.  Which ever is easiest.

A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a man perfected without trials. - A man who rubs or polishes his gem in public is likely to go to trial.

If heaven made it, earth can find some use for it. - Oh great! Yet another excuse for douche bags to abuse angelic women.

He who strikes the first blow admits he's lost the argument. - Of course, that depends on weather or not they've survived.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. - But if you're allergic to seafood, you're screwed!

Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet. - Has this hypothesis been properly tested?

A filthy mouth will not utter decent language. - What kind of asshole made up this fucking bullshit?

Your fingers can't be of the same length. - Especially when that jerk driving the Audi cuts you off in traffic.

A bit of fragrance clings to the hand that gives flowers. - Wash after you wipe.

Play a harp before a cow. - No kidding! Cow plus harp equals show closer!

Donkey's lips do not fit onto a horse's mouth. - Unless you're partying across the boarder.

Fight a wolf with a flex stalk. - I can't begin to tell you how many time my flex stalk has come in handy against random wolf attacks
9:08 AM 
7 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, March 08, 2008 

Category: Life
Don't throw the baby out with the bath water.
The police will discover the evidence.

Necessity is the mother of invention.
Necessity is also the mother of D'Andre, Tashanda and Monique.

The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
Unless, of course, you're stabbing him.

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.
And it's of better quality on the other side of the tracks.

Hunger is the best sauce.
Then we should try feeding the homeless with hunger.

What goes around, comes around.
Remember that, NASCAR fans!

Might makes right.
Bush for 4 more years.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
However, prostitutes might charge extra.

The longest journey begins with a single step.
Unless you're pushed off the cliff.

If the shoe fits, wear it.
Especially if it belonged to a leper who no longer has use for it.

A rolling stone gathers no moss.
Only visits on Christmas with a present for your brother and never pays child support.

All that glitters is not gold
Sometimes it's purple and named Lance!

A penny saved is a penny earned.
Freshmen, start saving for college!

He who hesitates is lost.
Thanks for the kool-aid, Jim!

the best laid plans of mice and men oft go awry.
And neither has a serious overpopulation problem!

We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Unless that bridge is in Minnesota.

where there's smoke, there's fire.
Or, my grandfather.

God helps those who help themselves.
Just ask the Perishes of New Orleans.

Beauty is only skin deep.
Burn victims have absolutely no personality!
10:39 PM 
7 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, February 16, 2008 

Current mood:  ashamed
Category: News and Politics
Is it just my opinion, or are far less people being abducted by large eyed space creatures?  Just a decade ago, it seemed like every other day someone was being abducted and probed.  But, since September 11, 2001...  You hardly ever hear about alien abductions.  One would think that abductions by space creatures would be considered a huge breach in American homeland security! In my humble opinion, the lack of alien abductions only proves that the conspiracy theorists in this country are all nut jobs!  They've gone from being abducted by space aliens to believing that September 11, 2001 was created by our own government!  Am I right, or am I right?
10:26 PM 
16 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Tuesday, December 25, 2007 

Current mood:  bitchy
Category: Food and Restaurants
My neighborhood Starbuck's Coffee has a huge sign in the window that says: "We're Open on Christmas Day!"  I think they should change that sign to say: "We hate our employees and we'll do anything for a dollar!"  

Come on Starbuck's, really?  Weather or not your employees believe in Christmas, don't they at least deserve the day off?  I highly doubt that you gave your people days off for Hanukkah or Kwanzaa!  No matter what your employees celebrate, shouldn't they get at least one day?  It's not like coffee is the most complicated drink on the planet.  As much as you believe that you're providing a valuable service to your customers...  Really, you're not!   I can make a cheaper, faster, fresher, cup of coffee right in my own home!  And if there are those who can't...  Than  they deserve to have their coffee taken away for one day!!  

Hey Starbuck's, let's not pretend like this has anything to do with your customers or providing a service or any other bull!  You're open to make money selling lattes to fools who can't make them by themselves. The only drink that contains more than 100mg of caffeine is coffee!  (that's an absolute fact)  And, anyone who can't make their own coffee at least one day a year deserves to go without!  Give your employees the day off!  GOSH!
Currently listening:
Starbucks Hi-Fidelity Holiday
By Various Artists
2:24 AM 
6 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate