School, Life, Demons and Uncertainties..:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
By David Agius 13th June, 2007
A few nights ago after I finished work in the city, I ran into someone from school.
School........
You know that place where you spend a quarter of your life learning, studying and getting prepared for the big thing called 'life', wasting yours and your teachers time, eating your lunch in class, dreaming, having girlfriends/boyfriends,2 or 3 at a time, having way to much fun when you shouldn't be......most of all, making so many friends and realizing that you will only stay in contact with a handful and have 2 as best friends for life. Maybe I'm lucky, maybe that doesn't happen to everyone.
I hated school as much as I loved it. People thought I was popular, I didn't. I felt excluded.
I loved my close friends, I hated finding out that the meaning of CLOSE FRIENDS meant something completely different to others.
I loved the friendships, I hated the utter bitchiness. Hated people being false and fake. They treated you with such respect and kindness, but behind your back, it was a different story. If I didn't like someone, I didn't give any bull dust, I just didn't associate with them.
I loved the freedom; I hated the constraints and pressure put on you by others because I didn't have a high self esteem.
I loved having teachers who still put in the time and effort for me, even though I didn't try as hard as I should have. I appreciated the academic teachers, who knew I really wasn't that interested in Science, Biology or English, but encouraged me none the less to pursue my dreams and tried to teach me about discipline and about not being complacent.
I hated the politics and attitudes of some the teachers and hierarchy staff. Qualifications are a must! Maybe this attitude rubbed off on some students.
I loved the encouragement from peers and teachers alike. I hated the teachers and students who wrote you of and hindered your talents and progression at school because of jealousy or some other pitiful reason which I still fail to comprehend.
I loved being able to communicate with people. I hated knowing that students and some teachers thought that I would lie about important issues regardless that they have concrete facts and evidence to support there case.
I loved getting to know people and opening up, I hated not being able to do this because there was fear of people disrespecting your trust.
I loved lunchtime…. I would go to school just for that……..
I loved my two best mates; one of them wasn't even enrolled at the school but attended more than others who were.
I loved getting in trouble and taking the blame for something that I didn't do. I hated knowing that if teachers found out who the real culprit was that they would be expelled only because a close friend on the representative council thought It was their duty to dob on a best mate.
I loved having fun, hanging out, making music, being creative and knowing that we could become whatever we want to become with knowledge, imagination and hard work.
I loved having my brother at school a few grades under me, I hated knowing that he would have to go on and experience all this for himself and I wouldn't be there to protect him.
Lastly, I hate knowing that I completely screwed up in my Yr10 School Certificate and went so poorly in my H.S.C. Maybe it has something to do with a life changing issue that happened at the time. It is a real joke.
I love knowing that I will never have to worry about that because I'll never have to rely on my H.S.C certificate and resume trying and finding a normal day job. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that at all. If that's your cup of tea, then I wish you all the best and good luck to you. Maybe I might get a 'REAL JOB' one day to see what it's like. Everyone needs to earn a living and make money in order to follow there dreams. Maybe I'm just lucky, maybe I've worked hard as well. I'm a talented musician, I'll only get better and I'm comfortable with the good money I work hard for.
School should be for learning, growing, having fun and making of it what you will.
After paying my principal lots of money, I finally graduated. I started to really hate school and anything associated with it, but before long, I got over it and moved on to the next challenge in life .I have no hard feelings, no gripes. My worries will surface later on in this epic novel which will retail for $29.95 in a few months at all good book stores. Don't worry; I'll change all the surnames.
So like I was saying……………………
This person I ran into, wouldn't call them a 'Friend' but someone I made small talk with only coz they did the same.
I hadn't seen this person since say... 2001.It's now mid 2007 if I'm correct.
Like people you randomly run into at first, It was the usual patter of 'OMG,I haven't seen you in ages'........and 'OMG, what have you been up to?' ........ And 'OMG, you so haven't changed, NO WAIT ,,,,, you've like changed heaps..........'OMG, do you still keep in touch with anyone from school.....'OMG, guess who I saw the other day'….. 'OMG I've seen you on TV, I never watched The Footy Show till you we're on there you know '….. You get the point…… General crap……
They act like there interested but really couldn't care less as they're eyes wonder from yours, to their watch and onto passing motorists then back onto you and then realize you have a tattoo on your arm and they swear it wasn't there 2 minutes ago.
By the end of the 5 minute conversation I was in absolute amazement, but a straight face I kept the whole way through.
7 years after leaving the two faced backstabbing and drama queens and kings of high school, you think people would grow up, mature, but unfortunately some individuals don't. It still happens.
So this self proclaimed called 'socialite' went on filling me in on what I have been up to the past 7 years. She told ME…what I've been doing. I've heard it all before. Smashing good fun.
Where do I start……….
1. Im still in love with a Girlfriend from Yr8 who I knocked up
2. I've been having sexual encounters with people I shouldn't……
3. I lied about my back accident which happened at school.
4. Im a junkie, I was seen shooting up a number of times
5. Im not a musician anymore, I clean car windows at intersections.
6. Im an alcohol who's life went down the drain several years ago
7. Married, two kids and on the dole.
8. I am the reason for other people's personal failures in life. ( It's nice to be thought of , thank you, but why do I get the blame??? )
9. Im a Hill Song devotee. I don't even believe in Jebus!
10. I diddnt lisen in englis clas and I stil dont now how to spel veri goods.
Yes my children, It is all true, black and white, I'm one big rebel…………..keeping all that in mind, I seem to have a fantastic life, family, close friends career, Fiancée, puppy dog and a very young daughter. Most importantly, I have my feet on the ground. How do I pull it off??? Good question aguado!!!
Not only did she impress me with all this solid information but started to give me names of people that have been passing around the great news .I've heard it all before.
All these stories…..
It doesn't hurt me,
It doesn't anger me,
I'm not a bitter person,
I actually think nothing of it.
And No, don't even try to turn this around and make it look contradictive as if I'm having a bitch or having a go at anyone. No, I'm just spelling it out in black and white terms for the stupid people. I'm sorry and I castrate myself before you and beg for your forgiveness.
The purpose of this little exercise is not getting on my high horse, It's nothing to do with me, but to let people know that there are unhappy people in this world who cannot let go of things, will lie and deceive, put others down in order for themselves to feel good because of there own insecurities and issues. Boredom and a lack of motivation has something to do with it as well. They cannot be happy for others, they don't know how too unfortunately. Yes, I'm guilty of it, but when I was 17. I seemed to grow out of it.
The only feeling I have towards this is a feeling of sadness and empathy knowing that there are a lot of people out there in the world that will continue to be like this forever and try and pass this terrible habit on to other people.
This is how fights, feuds, arguments and wars start.
For the sake of other people, not for me, but for friends, family and my little 11 year old brother who is still naive to this weary but wonderful world….they should not have to deal with this shit.
For FUCK SAKE, wake up. Please try and have a happy outlook on life, be positive, applaud other people's achievements, congratulate someone instead of instigating something. Look up at someone instead of pulling them down.
It doesn't cost you anything to smile. Be grateful for what we've been given, whoever is responsible, God, Allah, Buddha, the Universe……
Yes we all have extremely difficult times in our lives, eventually we get through it. Get up and tackle the next detour on the journey of life. Anyone with a negative frame of mind out there, I know it's hard, I've been there, and I still go there…SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!
Our lives are too short to be concerned about petty crap and minor details of other people's lives. The sad thing is I know one day you'll be reading about me in a magazine or paper and slip back to old habits.
Who knows when your times up. Who knows what's around the corner????? I do, Noisy fucking ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />Parramatta Rd. It shits me to tears; I don't get much sleep, im sure neither does the rest of the suburb, but Im still smiling with a Winfield Gold in one hand and my beautiful woman's hand in the other.
I know all this may seem too difficult to comprehend to some people but give it a go. It might save your life.