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Denitza

Ден Nizza


Last Updated: 5/8/2009

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 24
Sign: Leo

City: Sofia
Country: BG
Signup Date: 7/30/2006

Blog Archive
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Thursday, September 25, 2008 

Current mood:  amused
Category: Life
Today I was asked what do I have against gay-parades. My answer:

1. A gay-parade IS NOT a synonim to A GAY/A LESBIAN. I have nothing against the latter. I like them and I have homosexual friends.

2. Gay-parades are something demonstrative. The idea is stupid in general. Why should someone force me to be a viewer of such a thing (or, following the same logic, force me to look for a different route of commuting so I don't make a viewer out of myself).

3. Let's have a HETERO-parade. Let's get 3000 hetero couples to walk one hour from point A to point B. Here, in Bulgaria, the effect wouldn't be that interesting. But in countries like the UK, or Holland, where the homosexual civil society is very active, there would be a huge embarrassing scandal... because the HETERO-parade would be "HOMOPHOBIC". A little demonstration:

The result of a hetero parade in New York. As a result of the result, this parade didn't take place.

4. So what should the conclusion be?

Gay-parade = an open-minded inclusive event supported by modern people

Hetero-parade = a close-minded homophobic fashistic event organized by people from the Middle Ages

The idea of this blog post is not to act interesting, it's not even about sexuality. Its goal is to try and find an answer to this question:

"Does the Minority have a lifelong immunity against everything, even its Majority-phobia?"

After this question the topic suddenly became endlessly large, didn't it?

2:37 PM 
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Sunday, September 07, 2008 

Current mood:  argumentative
Category: Life

This thought is genious - The death of one is a tragedy. The death of millions - simple statistics.

What is the difference between the old woman with the 2-year old girl, who sells flowers on blv. Vitosha every evening after 22h on one side, and the millions of homeless people in the coptores in Mexico on the other side?

The difference is that she is one (with the kid - 2), and the others - millions. People notice her, but only until they pass the two-three-meters parameter of contrast between the shiny stores of Vitosha blv. and the Reality of Sofia. After that they forget about her. Which is quite an enviable quality, because it saves them a lot of things.

Why did I mention the millions of homeless people in Mexico (or India, or wherever, doesn't matter there are a lot of those)? Because the latter are the statistic, and the old woman with the child - the tragedy. The bad news is - both are the tragedy.

We are the problem - when we see something massive, we say to ourselves - so what, I guess it's normal. When we see one of "those normal things", but isolated on an expensive European (or is it that much European) shopping street, we again turn to ourselves saying - well, it's not only here, there are people like this on a lot of places… we make it massive, so that we make it easier to forget.

Maybe it's time to substitute the word "normal" with the word "massive" or "majority", because for the majority of us, the "normal" is what the majority of people do/are/aren't.

In relation to this, the majority of people are normal, because

  • this is normal
  • they are more than the insane ones (in Bulgarian, we have a term for "insane" which literally translated is "spiritually ill". And I really like it, because it doesn't limit the imagination in medical borders)
  • they can lable people with "spiritually ill", or "poor/homeless" in the normal range of this notion (normal for the "normal people), etc.
2:54 AM 
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Thursday, May 08, 2008 

Category: News and Politics


Off track: If I wasn't that hungry I would have opened the sandwich and explore its contents.

To the point: Macedonia. The Democratic Union for Integration party threatens Macedonia with federalization. It is in the press, so technically it IS "news". Question - is that really new? No, it isn't.
"If the same mistake takes place again, as the mistake in 2006, when the voice of Albanians wasn't taken into account, then those same Albanians would have to look for another way to organize their choice politically. And, why not, opt for federalization?", announced Mr. Medzhditi two days ago to a Kosovar media. (reported by Focus Information Agency)

Heating up. It's unpleasant out of two reasons:

a) neighbouring Kosovo - the notion hyperlinks me to the concept of Great Albania, which concept for now is theoretical

b) the fact that around 30% of the population in Macedonia is Albanian. That is around 600 000 (if we, counting on Wikipedia statistics, assume Macedonia is inhabited by 2 060 000). 30% is a more powerful thing than it may seem at a glance. And it is capable to push a country off board, regardless how big or small the country is, but especially if it is a small country and exclusivelly if it is a Balkan one.

Off track: I've even heard that, when Kosovo declared its independence, the Albanians in Macedonia celebrated more than Kosovar Albanians (scetching some symptoms).

In any case, if politically engaged Albanian leaders dare to speak aggressivelly, I may say, about such delicate issues, that should ring someone's bell.
1:53 AM 
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Wednesday, February 13, 2008 

Current mood:  argumentative
Category: Religion and Philosophy
Another day, another discussion "Pro or Con religious studies in school". Well, with this title I am 100% AGAINST the idea. To be honest, I had a period in my life, when I just couldn't get WHY on earth did my parents decide I have to be an orthodox christian and I really felt morally robbed because of the fact they didn't give me a right to choose.

When I was 20 I decided that maybe, just maybe, being a protestant is much better. Post factum. I was baptised when I was 2. Since then I have been in a church 5 times, one of which being a god-mother, who almost ruined the ceremony because was on the verge to burst in laughter. Religion is something not applicable to most people's minds, and is misused by people who can't rely on themselves to beleive.

I am FOR studying religion in school IF:

- the subject is in the programme of school children aged 15+ (that's the 8th grade)

- the subject covers the IDEAS, not the CANONS, of the official religionS

- the title of the subject is "History of ReligionS"
7:25 AM 
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Saturday, February 09, 2008 

Current mood:  artistic
Category: Games
I've noticed that people love rules and hierarchical structures of all shapes and sizes.

For some they are a source of stability, for others - a tool to satisfy their ID complexes more or less, for third kind of people... well, the third group is actually used by the idea of hierarchy to serve the first two. There needs to be balance, right (((: You can't have it all. There is a medicine for that mental stagnation though. I'll explain it with a genious line, that I have no idea where/when I read:

"We don't think outside the box. What box?"

Life is an endless hierarchy. Yes, structure is something... existing and it needs to exsist. Everything is hierarchy: from the moment of our birth we are, untill the moment of our death, a developing system of complexes. To start it off with the complex of Edip, respectively - Electra. Love is hierarchy - "Do we go to the next level, honey?". Education is hierarchy - you can't graduate university without finishing school first (Unless you are a rich fat-neck fellow in Bulgaria that is). In one word - everything.

Let's go back to the genious line. We can log ourselves out of the Matrix whenever we want. "There is no spoon" - special greets to everyone who remember that moment of the movie.

There are whole arsenals of thinking methods and thinking techniques, which can be used to reframe the NOW. Most of those, of course, are designed in the context of Economy, or at least that was their starting point before they too reached their "next level". In short - if you learn how to not see any boxes or spoons, you will reach a state of something like eternal childhood. Call it childhood-on-demand if you will. The mind of a child is the most productive exactly because it is not overloaded with ideas, experiences, etc.

Now back to reality ;)

p.s. Complexes and hierarchies are not something negative. There is nothing totally negative in life.
7:06 AM 
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008 

Current mood:  ashamed
Category: Life
What exactly did we learn from communism.To start it with irony - it was like a porno movie with a story. The unadequate "actors", who get ****, the plot/story, and people who jack off while watching the show. Excuse my language, really (: But I can't seem to find a better comparison.

We are communal beings. So we all have lived, ever since we began to think, in a system of communism. Some proactive individual decided they can play with words and twisted the axiomatic sence of "communism" into what we connect it to now (historically).

I am a generation Y person, the first somewhat clean generation, who have only "heard" about that horrible grey reality of communism and The party. From all the results I have been subjected to, growing up in post-commie Bulgaria, from all the stories and tragedies, and false peace and happiness, it wasn't untill a 2-minute comment in a Chernobyl movie that I realized what communism was.

The night Chernobyl exploded, there was a regular test of the reactor scheduled. The pressure had to be lowered, but not too much. The main scientist - Deyatlov - a person with an impressive past and a nuclear fanatic, so to call him, wanted to completely switch the pressure off. He wanted to proove to himself mainly that He is the one controlling technology, not vice versa. Two of the other scientists were horrified of what could happen if that is conducted but only vaguely protested. After all what they feared was hypothetical and he was in charge.

How can the communist scientific world be wrong. Isn't Chernobyl the strongest and ultra modern nuclear plant in the world! To add up to the total lack of survival instinct, later on, it turned out that the constuction of the block was flawed - because the Party insisted on "finishing way before schedule, so we prove socialism is more effective than capitalism". This insisting resulted in snap-shot-purchasing of NON-fire proof materials for the ceiling, not good enough concrete and etc. The scientists didn't even know that on the tips of the borum rods (which are used to prevent explosion in each reactor) there is graphite (which actually triggered the blast!).

After this short introduction let me get to the comment that basically explained it all to me.

Chernobyl was the grand finalle of a sterilized system based on mistakes. It metaphorically marked the end of the socialism era. The person in charge of the plant wasn't a scientist. He was a close to the Party person who went through 2 year-course. At the night of the blast he was sleeping, because he knew the test would be successful and he would get his promotion and get out of Pripyat. Deyatlov, the one in charge in Chernobyl that night, wanted to impose himself on everybody because he was the best nuclear physycyst in the Soviet Union at the time. Born in the system, he has learned that things are as they are told. That is why he never even assumed he could make a mistake. The two other scientists knew he was the authority, being grown in a system where you do what you are told it is impossible to rebell, your sence of thinking is cut out. Yes, they were brilliant scientists, but that was paid by their survival instinct - they sacrificed it, or maybe were born without it. Chernobyl was a sum of construction mistakes that only waited for an organisational mistake. And how difficult could it have been to find an organisational mistake in that world? Maybe we all deserved that tragedy.
8:09 PM 
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Wednesday, January 02, 2008 

Current mood:  awake
Category: Religion and Philosophy
I was thinking yesterday about, actually about a lot of chaotic stuff, but I reached some conclusions.
Economics is a more sophisticated version of Psychology. Economics has a lot of Math in it and a lot of scary long and hyphaneted words. So does Psychology (about the scary words only).
Untill now I thought the connection is:

Math (the tool) - Economics (the operating system) - Psychology (the hard-disc)

I was wrong. Economics and Psychology have more or less a defined subject - respectively homo-economicus and homo-sapiens ;)
What about Math? It has trillions of applications, yes, but still! It's so powerful and dominating, it's everywhere... and the subject is what - everything? The truth is Mathematics is the hard-disc. Mathematics is the engine of everything from high-tech to philosophical industries. We still just don't know for sure how insanely powerful it is.
11:17 PM 
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Friday, November 02, 2007 

Current mood:  busy
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I beleive in mantras. I have this strange feeling that if a person puts a blasting start off amout of positive energy when they start something, this something will be given a positive karma.The first thing I did was to look around and get stuck infront of the book shelves. From the latter I chose a book called - "Wierd Ideas That Work: 11 1/2 Practices for Promoting, Managing, and Sustaining Innovation" . That book actually helped me create my starting athmosphere and look at the desireble velocity from a new angle.

Before the book my ideas were:
1) follow and try to learn from what I see as a corporate culture and behaviour
2) try to blend in
3) lable others' opinions as stronger because I am the new and they are experienced

After the book:
1) instead of blindly copy-pasting behaviour models, I highlighted following the general idea but establish my way of doing it
2) instead of blending in - teaming in
3) instead of prioritizing others' opinions as a tool for learning - having my own opinion, listening to others and choosing wheater to follow or to experiment

And the most important and difficult to manage aspect - conflicts.I somehow can't wait untill I get my first dose. Yes, i know, conflicts are something bad and un-teamplay-like. But after a few pages of the book I realised that conflicts are the strongest instrument for triggering creativity. Of course it depends on the conflict ;)

So… that's pretty much it.
12:37 PM 
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Wednesday, October 31, 2007 

Current mood:  artistic
Category: Life
we all have days when we feel dead. everybody has their own engines. i think i discovered mine - inspiration. inspiration leads to energy. energy gets you out of the dead-list.in this context - is there anything more inspiring than a blank sheet of paper?
11:26 AM 
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007 

Current mood:  calm
Category: Friends
it's been some time since i last posted anything on myspace.
to summarize kristina's bulletin (that i got inspired from) with 2 bullets:
- sick of childish behaviour (of the person she is writing about)
- turning indifferent (wize decision)

some while ago i got sick too - of a friend. she was one of those friends who was pr-ing our "friendship" as if it was real. technically it was real for about 3 yeras. but it ended. so maybe it never began. it ended because
- she was competing with my positivity and tried to turn it into a depression
- she was getting a psychological orgasm everytime we had a conversation about how horrible life is (well, everybody goes through such conversations from time to time)
- finally she decided that i hate her. and that was pleasurable for her because after all my attempts to tell myself she isn't addicted to feeling like the victum, i was wrong.
- she started to tell me how one of my best friends is evil and that happened some 3-4 hours before she dumped me in the middle of skopje (that's the capital of macedonia, 7hrs from sofia) and walked away somewhere deliberately speaking only in romanian (she is ro) to a friend of hers so i wouldn't mess in the communication.
i learned a lot from her mostly because she was always on the other extreme of opinions i had. judging from what she last told me i reach the concluison she never learned anything from me. i felt kind of hurt even though she deserves 0% of me.
the "friendship" is over however. let's suggest i took good final notes.

hope that would give you a clue if you one day bump into a "friend" like her
10:15 PM 
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