This past month has been a whirlwind.  Not only because of all of the wonderful New York shows that I have been involved in, but a flying trip to Paris last week.  The truly visionary Steven Chaiken phoned me a couple Fridays ago and asked if I might be interested in shooting an editorial for V magazine.  As if that wasn't enough to make me drop everything on the schedule - sorry Connecticut! - he continued on to ask if it wasn't too much trouble to fly to Paris and have Karl Lagerfeld shoot me on the staircase at the Chanel Atelier.  I was beginning to think that considering the sad state of fashion models in this day and age and recent comments by Lagerfeld that fashion is only for thin people that they might mean an actual shooting with a gun.  Thankfully they were all very sincere about this amazing opportunity and there were no "Carrie" moments as I feared.  In fact, after the shoot, the man himself said to me "you know, we could change fashion".  Holding back tears of joy, I told him that I thought that was a brilliant idea.
So take that Kate Moss!  Miss "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"!  Wouldn't it be a wonderful world if all the models were striving to look more like ME!  Well, why not?  My fantasy came true.  Look out for the upcoming issue of V mag where you will see me in Dolce & Gabana, Chanel, Comme des Garcons, Chantel Thomas, and of course Lagerfeld! 
Until then, I'll see you here:

Sundays in December
Vandam
@Greenhouse
150 Varick St.
Doors at 10 open bar till 11pm
Special guest show at 1am
Sunday nov. 29th is our 1 year anniversary!
I'm a host every Sunday night here and it is truly a fun party.  Dance your ass off with DJ Johnnie Dynell and be schooled on what real fashion is all about with Kenny Kenny and my nightlife hero Suzanne Bartsch.

Tuesdays in November
I'm teaching ballet!  Come and discover the technique that tones and shapes and makes you graceful.  It's New York's first adult beginner class in a supportive and hip atmosphere.
ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
Ballet for burlesque and beyond!
Tues. nights from 6:30 - 8
440 Lafayette
$20 single $15 a class w/ 4 class card
Admission is prepay only through the School of Burlesque here:

http://www.schoolofburlesque.com/burlesqueballet.html

Tues. Dec. 1st
Opening night of Bon Bon
New Yorks newest dance party brought to you by night life experts Kenny Kenny and Suzanne Bartsch
Starring- Amanda Le Pore
Johanna Constantine
DJ Cat NYC
Comp Cocktails 11 - midnight
539 W. 21st St. between 10th and 11th ave.
Dinner reservations at 9pm



Wed. & Thurs Dec. 2 & 3

Pinchbottom Burlesque presents

FILTHY LUCRE: A Burlesque Christmas Carol

at WalkerSpace - 46 Walker St., (bet. Chruch & B'Way), TriBeCa

December 2-13, 2009 - 9 performances!

Tickets: $20

For advance purchase and nightly schedule, visit http://www.pinchbottom.com/shows/filthylucre/

Marley was nude, to begin with ...

Charles Dickens' immortal classic finally drops its knickers and gets down to business!

starring Nasty Canasta as Ebenezer Scrooge

Jonny Porkpie as Jacob Marley

with Anita Cookie & Scott Rayow as Bob & Mrs. Cratchitt

Tigger! as Tiny Tim

and Bastard Keith and Naughtia Nice

plus special guest stars every night!

Friday Dec. 4th
Phil Spector Killer Christmas
Joe's Pub
425 Lafayette St.
11:30pm

Sat. Dec. 5th
Floating Kabarette
Galapagos art space
16 Main St. DUMBO brooklyn
10:30  free


Tues. Dec. 15th
Lee Chappell presents:
Cafe Penache
@ HQ
552 West 38th @ 11th Ave
10pm Show featuring Dirty Martini, Brigette Everett, Amber Martini, Lady Rizo and a live band


Wed. Dec. 16th
Slipper Room
with the Redhook Ramblers
10pm show $5

Thurs. Dec. 17th
Hot Babes in Toyland
Players Theater Loft
115 McDougal St.
8pm $20
http://www.theatermania.com

Friday December 18th
Basil Twist Christmas show
Time and Place TBA
but don't miss the mastermind behind all the major puppetry shows in the last century teamed up with burlesque stars!

Dec. 19th

SAT. DEC. 19, 8 & 10:30PM

A MURRAY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

Abrons Arts Center, 466 Grand St. (at Pitt), NYC

Do you hear what I hear? New York nightlife icon and downtown comedian MURRAY HILL is bringing A MURRAY LITTLE CHRISTMAS, his legendary ribald Yuletide extravaganza to the Abrons complete with a cast of misfits, a sleigh full of cheesy holiday songs, dazzling production numbers, ice-melting burlesque, and Murray’s special blend of comedy and heartfelt hi-jinks. There’s no better way to deck your halls and butter your rum than with this holiday slice of downtown showbiz! Guest stars announced soon.


DISCOUNT CODE: SNOWBIZ ($5 off!)

 Monday December 21
Suzanne Bartsch and David Barton present
The Annual Toy Drive
David Barton Gym
Astor Place
9 - 12 midnight
Bring a new unwrapped toy for admission

Dec. 31

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 31 - 10:30 PM

Murray Hill’s New Year’s Eve Extravaganza!

GALAPAGOS, 16 Main St, DUMBO, Brooklyn

New York’s nightlife superstar and beloved comedian MR. MURRAY HILL rings in the New Year with a laugh-tastic, boozy, bodacious variety show with New York’s finest, wildest, and wackiest performers. Mr. Showbiz plays the comic ringleader to this circus of burlesque bombshells, flying trapeze artists, ballsy and bawdy singers, and acts that, quite frankly, leave you guessing! At midnight, champagne will descend from the ceiling and Murray will make a rare appearance as the Baby New Year. After the “show,” the party kicks in to high gear with DJ Mel Huckabee playing classic dance hits. Freestyle dancing and “mixing” will be encouraged. Dress to impress. Make Galapagos your one-stop-non-stop fun destination! HAVE A MURRAY NEW YEAR, BABY!!!

Pricing: Every ticket includes show and after-party
$100.00 VIP - front pod seats, open bar pre-show & intermission, champagne toast
$ 75.00 VIP - back pod seats, open bar pre-show & intermission, champagne toast
$ 45.00 General Admission - seats, champagne toast
$ 25.00 Standing Room Only - champagne toast


DISCOUNT CODES: MHVIP ($10 off VIP tix) MHADV ($5 off Gen Adm tix)

Get busy...it's my birthday!!  November is my birthday month which means I'll be out and about in New York City and eating a hell of alot of cake.  Please enjoy a slice with me and if anyone out there knows the guys from Ace of Cakes, please let them know that I'm in love with them!  Not just because they have good cakes, but they are hot and fun and from one of my favorite cities in the world - Baltimore!  Don't take that compliment lightly, Baltimore, I've been to Barcelona and Paris!
I think if I had to have a cake made by them it would be a cake of me dancing a cooch dance on a fictional midway show in Cowtown, NJ with the Cowtown Cowboy statue pulling off my panel skirt.  Just saying.  What would you get?

Sundays in November
Vandam
@Greenhouse
150 Varick St.
Doors at 10 open bar till 11pm
Special guest show at 1am
November 1st - Day of the Dead theme.  Come see my Boo!doo creation Herman the Headpeice.
I'm a host every Sunday night here and it is truly a fun party.  Dance your ass off with DJ Johnnie Dynell and be schooled on what real fashion is all about with Kenny Kenny and my nightlife hero Suzanne Bartsch.

Tuesdays in November
I'm teaching ballet!  Come and discover the technique that tones and shapes and makes you graceful.  It's New York's first adult beginner class in a supportive and hip atmosphere.
ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
Ballet for burlesque and beyond!
Tues. nights from 6:30 - 8
440 Lafayette
$20 single $15 a class w/ 4 class card
Admission is prepay only through the School of Burlesque here:

http://www.schoolofburlesque.com/burlesqueballet.html

November 4
Burlesque with live band the Red Hook Ramblers
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St.@Stanton
10pm show $5

November 11
Foreign Affairs
Night Hotel
132 W. 45th st.
Daniel Istengart and Lee Chappel along with Lady Rizo and other fantastic cabaret artists perform in an intimate setting in NY's theater district.  Mingle with downtown glitterati and tourists!

November 14
Filthy Gorgeous Burlesque
Two Boots Bridgeport
281 Fairfield Ave., Bridgeport CT
10pm show $20 advance txs $15
Thirstygirlproductions.com



November 20
Hot Box
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. @ Stanton
shows on the hour starting at 11 I'm in the 1am and 2am shows
$5

November 21
MY BIRTHDAY!
Pinchbottom Burlesque celebrates the release of Jonny Porkpie's new murder mystery The Corpse wore Pasties
45 Bleecker
8pm

and then later...
The Clue Show
Galapagos Art Space
16 Main St. DUMBO Brooklyn
I'm Mrs. Green
10:30 Free!

November 28th
Pinchbottom Burlesque celebrates the release of Jonny Porkpie's new murder mystery The Corpse wore Pasties
45 Bleecker
8pm

and then later...

BadAss Burlesque
Arlene's Grocery
95 Stanton St.
12am $15

AAAAAAND then even later.....

Mr. Choades Upstairs Downstairs
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St.
shows on the hour starting at 10 
Come see me in the 1 & 2am shows
$5

DECEMBER 6th
Don't Miss the
THE MODE MERR HOLIDAY SPECTACULAR featuring DIRTY DOLLS LINGERIE

Just flew back from Montreal's first Burlesque festival and boy are my arms tired!  It was a lovely time performing with Amber Ray, Michelle L'Amour, Kalani Kokonuts, Roxi D'lite and the Montreal's own Scarlett James.  I was fortunate to be on a 3 Miss Exotic World winner panel awarding the top three performance of Saturday night
Miss Bon Bon Bombay with here Novita inspired skeleton half and half dance
Sasha Darling with a stunning sultry purple striptease
and Exciting Japanese cupie doll Cherry Typhoon burning up the stage
It was my pleasure to watch all the performers that night!

Here's my oct. schedule so far

Oct. 3
New York Burlesque festival
BB Kings 42nd St.
www.newyorkburlesquefestival.com
for Tickets and information


Oct 4- 11-18 -25
Vandam
@Greenhouse
150 Varick St.


Andrea Barbiroli photo

Oct. 9
The Object Screening
Come see this amazing short film that I shot this summer.
Slipper room
167 Orchard St.




Oct. 13
Have you always wanted to learn to dance, but never had the advantage of training in your youth? 
I'm starting a new ballet class for absolute beginners through the NY school of burlesque!!
inquire about this weekly class here:
ABSOLUTE BEGINNERS
Ballet for burlesque and beyond!
Tues. nights from 6:30 to 8 Starting Oct. 13th
440 Lafayette
$20 single $15 a class w/ 4 class card
Admission is prepay only through the School of Burlesque here:

http://www.schoolofburlesque.com/burlesqueballet.html



Learn to dance like a pro!  Starting Oct. 13th!!!

Oct. 14th
Skits and Tits
Offbeat comedy sketches and burlesque with crazy comedienne Diane O'Debra
Bowery poetry Club
Bowery & Bleecker
10pm $10

Oct. 17th
Floating Kabarette
Galapagos Art Space
16 Main St, DUMBO Brooklyn
FREE 10pm

Oct. 20
Screening of Lola Rock n Rolla's Night of the Living Gay
Film Anthology Archives
32 2nd Ave.
I'll be in attendance, come support totally independant film
8pm

Oct. 24
Coney Island USA Spooktacular
Coney Isl. Sideshow
1208 Surf Ave
Costume Party!
8 to midnight $25

Oct.28
Shaken and Stirred
Delancy
168 Delancey St.
10pm



Oct. 31
Halloween night at Slipper Room
Fabulous Goulie show
Starring the queen of halloween Julie Atlas Muz and many others!
167 Orchard at Stanton St.
Shows at 11 - 2 on the hour $5

I'm so very happy to have had a little sit down with my favorite celebrity pundit, Michael Musto, recently and the result is this feature in the Village Voice online magazine. Check it out!!

Dirty Martini Comes Clean!

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/dailymusto/archives/2009/08/dirty_martini_c.php

See ya around this summer!!
Dirty

I'm back from a fantastic trip to Glasgow, Scotland where theater is king and Rhymes with Purple's Lucille Burn & Rufus T Fahrenheit showed me the town and made sure the town saw alot of me too!  I was lucky enough to perform with UK burly stars Missy Malone and Leyla Rose in their show at the ABC theater.  The show was top notch and full of seasoned London performers and  new talent of the Scotch variety.  I so enjoyed mingling in the crowd and hearing the rhythm of the Scottish ladies speech.  I also got the chance to be a special guest of Dr. Sketchy's Glasgow with the fantastic Creative Martyrs and all of the talented sketchers sketching.  Look for my up and coming podcast with the Decadent Gent on Tassel Time http://www.myspace.com/tasseltime in which I have a quick chat about burlesque and New York and the Children of the Corn who tried to keep it from happening!   When I boarded the plane for home I knew that I would miss the accents, daring evening fashions :) and outspoken welcome from the people of Glasgow!! 

Here's where you can find me now that I'm home for the summer!!

July 19
Vandam!
Don't miss my performance at 1am.  I'm a host every Sunday night here and it is truly a fun and interesting evening.  Dance your ass off with DJ Johnnie Dynell and be schooled on what real fashion is all about with Kenny Kenny and my nightlife hero Suzanne Bartsch
Greenhouse
150 Varick corner of Vandam
Doors at 10 Comp Cocktails 10- 11


Vandam with Ladyfag, Desimonster, Eduardo Milton

Sundays in July and August
Hosting Vandam
Come see me shake it and keep me company!



July 23rd
Sealboy and the Blondes
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. corner of Stanton St., NYC
10pm $5
Sealboy and the Blondes is a wild romp starring the World's top burlesque talent in a no holds barred show brought to you by Whitney Biennial artist Julie Atlas Muz and featuring UK television star Mat Fraser.  With performers Dirty Martini, Bambi the Mermaid, and Little Brooklyn tearing up the stage,  it's not to be missed.  A one night only, late night special performance will feature the full dismantling of a piano while the stunningly talented Lady J plays it to death.

July 24th
Come see me at the Ice Palace in Fire Island with Daniel Nardicio and one million nude gays!!
Ice Palace
Cherry Grove
Fire Island


Backstage at Slipper Room one glorious night

August 1st
Mr. Choades Upstairs Downstairs
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. corner of Stanton
Doors at 8 $5
I will be appearing in the 12 and 1:30 sets



August 7th
World Famous *Bob* and Dirty Martini present
Hip Hip Hooray a tribute to everything GAY!
Coney Island Sideshow
1208 Surf Avenue
Coney Island Brooklyn
10pm $15



August 13th
Pirate Love Show
Burlesque at the Beach
Coney Island Sideshow
1208 Surf Ave
Coney Island Brooklyn
10pm $15

August 15th
Mr. Choades Upstairs Downstairs
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. corner of Stanton
Doors at 8 Shows at 10:30, 12 and 1:30am $5



August 21st
Starlight Burlesque
Toronto
A Tribute to Classic Burlesque
@ Bloor Cinema
Starring DIRTY MARTINI (NYC) Miss Exotic World 2004!!!
and the lovely COCO FRAMBOISE
Doors 9:30 Show 10pm sharp
Tickets $20 advance (Sunnyside Tattoos or starlight.eventbrite.com)
$25 at the door

Private afterparty at The Green Room included in ticket price!

--------------------------
August 22nd
Workshop in Toronto
Learn classic strip tease from one of today's best performers. Miss Exotic World 2004 and Best Body in Burlesque! Miss Martini will teach you her unique approach to this art form. Bump & Grind, Tease & Choreography. Bring some comfortable clothes, and don't forget to bring long gloves, stockings, high heels, and boas if you have them.

At the Mad for Dance Studio
263 Adelaide Street West
Basement (@ John st, near the Chapters)

From: 1pm -2:30pm
Price: $30

To register or more information, email Karen at kareng13@hotmail.com


August 31st
Top Shelf Burlesque
World Famous *Bob* presents the show for pros!!
Starring

I spent the months of April and May filming a movie entitled Tournee with Mathieu Amalric and the Cabaret New Burlesque, but regretably, all of my shows in France are now over.  The shows in Nantes were like a homecoming dance.  Spending 3 months there I met so many wonderful people and was able to reconnect with them like I never left!  I will be here in La Rochelle and the Ile de Oleron and Paris through the month of May filming more casual scenes in the film "La Tournee".  We were performing in an incredible theater in Rochefort a few days ago called Theatre Coupe D'Or, a complete replica of Marie Antoinette's theater in Versailles all in blue velvet and gold built in 1766.
Check out the virtual tour here
http://www.theatre-coupedor.com/index.php?id_site=1&id_page=14

It's been a total pleasure working with the Cabaret New Burlesque and the crew and support staff involved in this project.  Everyone has been outgoing, talented, helpful and extremely sexy!  Look for the film soon.

As for my return in June, I'm excited to say that I will once again perform at Miss Exotic World in Las Vegas on Friday night with the original legends of burlesque that have inspired my performances.  Here's the Down and Dirty!




June 4-7th
Miss Exotic World Pageant
"Titans of Tease" Burlesque Reunion Showcase
Time: 8p-11p (7p door)
Location: Orleans Showroom
Weekend Pass/Ticket Required
Las Vegas, Nevada
For all the latest details ck out
www.burlesquehall.com

June 13
Slipper Room NYC
167 Orchard St.
Corner of Stanton
10:30, 12, 1:30 shows

June 14
The Mode Merr Fashion Show Spectacular!
Enjoy an afternoon of live music, burlesque, hot rods & the unveiling of the newest Mode Merr collection!


+ A FULL BOUTIQUE OFFERING THE LATEST MODE MERR LOOKS AND OTHER FUN SHOPPING ITEMS!
www.modemerr.com
Sunday, June14th
3PM @ The Bell House

April and May will be very special months for me as I will be starring with the Cabaret New Burlesque (Kitten on the Keys, Mimi LeMeaux, Julie Atlas Muz, Roky Roulette and our newest member the stunning Evie Lovell) in France while we film "La Tournee" directed by and starring Mathieu Amalric, our sexy French actor/angel!  Mathieu took a shine to the Cabaret while we were in Nantes for the summer 2 years ago and got the notion to base his latest film on our European touring antics.  The film will be fictional (?!) but we will play ourselves and you will be in the dressing room and train with us as we tour western France.  The party goes with us everywhere we tour.  BELIVE ME!
Come out and see me before I take off and if you are in Finland, I'll be there for a weekend too! 

April 1
April Fools - NYC Fisherman's Famous Burlesque Orchestra @ Slipper Room 10pm $5

April 11
Fan Dance Master Class

With Dirty Martini

April 11 2009 5-7 pm $40

440 Lafayette, Greenwich Village, NYC

To register:



Please note, some of our classes sell out literally in a matter of
hours. If you are registering with a friend, please register both of
you at the same time to make sure that both of you get in. Space and
props are strictly limited for most classes.





<

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1ssq2rXEf8


In this class you will benefit from her award-winning fan dance
expertise. Fan dancing is presented differently by every teacher, so
this class will benefit you whether or not you have taken classes
before.
You will learn techniques of stage craft and stage presence,
so this class is incredibly valuable whether or not fan dancing is of
particular interest to you, and no matter how in experienced or
experienced you are. Anyone who cares about the quality of his or her
performance can improve from taking this class.



Bring both low and high heeled shoes, yoga pants leggings or shorts,
and tops you can move in. Do not wear anything that limits your arm or
leg movements in any way.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ7hc5iWkQg


April 11th After Class!!
See the fans in full color - Dirty Martini performs the fan dance and another classic burlesque number at
The Slipper Room, 167 Orchard St. NYC 12 midnight and 1:30, $5



April 18 - ?? France

April 24 - 26 - Finland

Although I will be in Paris and parts unknown in France in both March and April, I'm not quite sure which shows will be open to the public and where.  I'll keep you all posted as things grow and change.


March 15, 22, 29 - NYC Host @ Vandam - Doors @ 10 Free

March 19 -
Bunny Love presents:
 Nude!
Usher in the Spring with an all Nude band
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. @ Corner of Stanton


NYC
10pm $5

March 21 -
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. @ Corner of Stanton


NYC  12 & 1:30 $5

March 23 - Bingo @ Bowery Poetry Club 8pm $2 cards



Thursday March 26

Dirty Martini Presents:

The GLoBes Invitational Championship of the World

Who will be the 1st Miss GLoBes "Gorgeous Lady of Burlesque"?



STARRING:



The Ringer from Chi-town

MISS EXOTIC WORLD 2005

MICHELLE L'AMOUR



Hosted by the Howard Cosell of Burlesque

MR. MURRAY HILL



Fightin' Mad

MISS EXOTIC WORLD 2004

Miss Dirty Martini



The very disciplined indeed

MISS SCHOOL OF BURLESQUE

Miss Jo "Boobs" Weldon



Crazy like a fox

MISS EXOTIC WORLD 2006

Julie Atlas Muz



Wirey and Wild

MISS PINCHBOTTOM

Nasty Canasta



THURSDAY THURSDAY THURSDAY!

Watch as one lucky burlesque queen will stomp the competition and walk
away with a bona-fied trophy and bragging rights.   The challenge is on
and the implement of choice will be the holy grail of burlesque
props.... Ostrich feather fans!  That's right, you heard it here first
sports fans 3 Miss Exotic World winners and an all star cast.  Everyone
will be armed with nothing but fans and nudity!  



COME SEE IT LIVE

Thurs. March 26th 10pm

Slipper Room

167 Orchard St. @ Corner of Stanton

NYC

Doors @ 8pm  Show @10pm

THREE MISS EXOTIC WORLD WINNERS and Only $10



March 27 - NYC Slipper Room 10:30 & 12 $5

February, people!  My least favorite month.  Your rent stays the same but the month is 2 - 3 days longer.  Who came up with that?  AND it's colder than any person should really deal with.   Thanks to my trip to Key West, though I'm in a sunny frame of mind and looking forward to all the fun dates below.  Check out the video from Marky Pierson of Key West Burlesque of me and the gang snorkeling for the very first time.  It was a little scary but we even got the 1st mate to take his clothes off!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sV1W2_VA9TY

I was thrilled and had such a good time there with Marky and TaTa DuJour.  I even rode a bike for the first time since high school thanks to Miss Astrid - she made me do it!   I'm also looking forward to March and my upcoming trip to Paris.  Although I don't think my performances there will be public, I am excited to enjoy the city once again, see my Cabaret New Burlesque family, live among the gorgeous french people and eat some bread and cheese.

Sat. Feb. 7
Mr. Choad's Upstairs Downstairs
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. @ Stanton
Doors @ 8  I'm on @ Midnight and 1:30
$5



I'm hosting NY's premiere party for gorgeous freaks!
Vandam @ Greenhouse
150 VARICK ST @ VANDAM
DJ: JOHNNY DYNELL
EVERGREENS: DIRTY MARTINI, AJOSHUA & CHUCK ATTIX DOWNSTAIRS: DESI MONSTER & LADYFAG
DOOR: CYNTHIA
COMP DOOR opens @ 10pm
COMP COCKTAILS 10 - 11:30

Wed. Feb 11th
Skits and Tits!
Hosted by Diane O'Debra
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery @ Bleecker
Show @ 10pm
$10

Fri. Feb. 13th
The Hotbox
Slipper Room
167 Orchard St. @ Stanton
Doors @8 Show @ 10:30
$5



Sat. Feb. 14th
Dirty Dolls Lingerie
Valentines Day Fashion Show
Pat Field Boutique
302 Bowery @ Houston
Open Vodka Bar
5:30pm
Starring:
World Famous *Bob*
Jo "Boobs" Weldon
Dirty Martini
Clams Casino

Fri. & Sat. Feb. 27 & 28th
Folly - Vaudeville for the new depression
A benefit for Gods Love We Deliver and Tweed Theater
Abrons Art Center
466 Grand St.
for info and txs
http://www.tweedtheater.org/folly/

In March I'll be in Paris!