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January 13, 2009 - Tuesday
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I fuckin swear that I carebut all I can do is stand and stareMy heart's just to weakI can't even speakyou ask me to cryand a tear rolls down my cheek
And so...I suck another cigerette in to my lungs just prayin for that day to comewhen this cigerrete will make me numb
I can't even find the time of dayto say the things I need to sayso I can make you see that I carethen I wont seem so empty and bare
And so...I suck another cigerette in to my lungs just prayin for that day to comewhen this cigerrete will make me numb
How I wish you could seeso deep into memaybe then you could seewhat I'm trying to be, but you can't, so I'll spend another day trying to find the things I need to say
And so...I suck another cigerette in to my lungs just prayin for that day to comewhen this cigerrete will make me numb
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January 5, 2009 - Monday
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Surely the greatest pain of the heart a man could have, must be the knowledge that no matter how hard he tries or how much he begs, he can never have the only thing in the world that he really desires...
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July 10, 2008 - Thursday
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Current mood:  melancholy
I punch the wall until my hands bleed, I don't understand this feeling inside of me. It burnsand rots untill the feeling's all gone. I just wanna run, and get away from the pain that consumes everyday. Look and see this obsurd mask that I use to hide the dark that risides inside this gaping hole.
I have one last breath to save myself from falling to bottem of this well. I have feeling that I will fail...
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July 2, 2008 - Wednesday
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"Frgt/10" (feat. Alchemist, Chali 2na) From the top to the bottom Bottom to top I stop At the core I've forgotten In the middle of my thoughts Taken far from my safety The picture's there The memory won't escape me We're stuck in a place so dark You can hardly see The manner of matter that splits with the words I breathe And as the rain drips acidic questions around me I block out the sight and the powers that be And duck away into the darkness Times up I wind up in a rusted world with eyes shut so tight that it blurs into the world of pretend And the eyes ease open And it's dark again From the top to the bottom Bottom to top I stop At the core I've forgotten In the middle of my thoughts Taken far from my safety The picture's there The memory won't escape me But why should I care? In the memory you'll find me Eyes burning up The darkness holding me tightly Until the sun rises up Listen to the sound Dizzy from the ups and downs I'm nauseated by the polluted rot that's all around Watching the wheels of cars that pass I look past to the last of the light and the long shadows it casts A window grows and captures the eye And cries out a yellow light as it passes me by And a young shadowy figure sits in front of a box Inside a building of rock with antennas on top, now Nothing can stop in this land of the pain The sane lose not knowing they were part of the game And while the insides change The box stays the same and the figure inside could bear anybody's name The memories I keep are from a time like then I put on my paper so I could come back to them Someday I'm hoping to close my eyes and pretend That this crumpled up paper can be perfect again Yo, from the top to the bottom Bottom to top I stop At the core I've forgotten In the middle of my thoughts Taken far from my safety The picture's there The memory won't escape me I'm here at this podium talking The ceremonial offerings dedicated to urban dysfunctional offspring What's happening? City governments are eternally napping Trapped in greedy covenants Causing urban collapse And bullets that scar souls with dark holes Get more than your car stole, some parts be blacker than charcoal, for real This society's deprivation depends not on our differences but the separation within No preparation is made Limited aid, minimum wage Living in a tenement cage where rent isn't paid Tragedy within a parade The darkness overspreads like a permanent plague I'm the forgotten In the memory you'll find me Eyes burning up The darkness holding me tightly
Until the sun rises up
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June 26, 2008 - Thursday
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Current mood:  lonely
Life kinda sucks right? I don't even know who I am anymore. I thought I was good person, but I have proven myself wrong. Who am I tell you what is right and wrong, the truth is none of know what is on the other side, no one, not one person can tell me that at the end of this life if there is a heaven or hell. I've made so many mistakes in this past month alone, how can you say that I deserve a reward when I die? I don't even know who I am anymore! All I want is love, all I want is someone to love me, as much as I love them... I feel so weak, my self control is nothing when I am faced with a decision that might involve someone showing some sort of love to me, whether it's real or not.
I'm NOT who I want to be, and I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do. I'm so lost and I feel so alone. Is anyone this desperate, does anyone feel the same I do? If so you then speak up so I won't feel so alone. I just want someone to understand.
Do I not deserve my only desire? Will I be alone for the rest of my life, even the most evil of people have still found what I want so badly! I just don't get it am I meant to feel this way for the rest of my life? Just let me know at least then I can be prepared for it...
Whatever, I guess it doesn't really matter.
-Mobius
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June 26, 2008 - Thursday
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Like a single grain of sand moving with the tide No one knows I'm here wouldn't matter if I died Out of control lost on my way searching and dying more each day Bridge Trying as hard as I can Won't someone hold out their hand I feel so strange in this land But if you ask me I'm fine Chorus I can't go on I've always had to be by myself I'm so alone I just need somebody's help (X2) Time is running out tired of not having rest Can't go on like this forever maybe death is best Tell me what it's all about, you love me, well that I really doubt Told me a story of a man with scars in His feet and hands Can take me away from this land But can He really save me
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June 24, 2008 - Tuesday
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DaveScot
We often hear from Darwinists that "the theory of evolution is as well tested as the theory of gravity". Strangely though, we never hear physicists saying that the theory of gravity is as well tested as the theory of evolution.
Anyhow, I was just reading yet another Darwinian Narrative on the genetic similarities and differences between man and chimp but how we don't really know which differences are the important ones. In point of fact, we don't really know if the DNA differences are even significant. The only thing we really know is that a chimp is a chimp because its mother was a chimp. Beyond that, it's nothing but guesswork.
Then I thought about how this compares to the theory of gravity. We know enough about gravity so that we routinely spend billions of dollars launching interplanetary unmanned exploratory spacecraft that, with exquisite precision predicted long before the craft is launched, it moves about the solar system, arriving at known points within meters and seconds years after it is launched and after having traveled circuitous routes for billions of miles. Contrast that with how well we can predict what it takes to turn a chimp into a human. That, my friends, is a true example of how well the theory of evolution has been tested. It hasn't been tested at all. It's nothing but WAGs and hand waving. Gravity, on the other hand, is indeed well tested. And that's why you'll never hear a physicist saying the theory of gravity is as well tested as the theory of evolution.
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June 24, 2008 - Tuesday
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Current mood:  catalyzed
Trapped behind my state of mind, I took your words and now I'm blind. And everything you've given just kills me. Your words swarm me through my soul like locusts. Eating away at any glimpse of focus. Their eyes flaming red like pain. Filling the void once righteous and bloodstained. But words can't kill the light inside me that tears me from the hate that binds me. I feel it crawling up my spine. But i'll cut it off before it reaches the bloodline. You'll never fade me out, you'll never turn me off. You'll never reach the end, you'll never hear enough. You're half-grasp can't exterminate my stand. You can't rule with a broken upper hand. A fragment of what's been left behind. Trapped behind my state of mind, I took your words and now I'm blind. And everything you've given just kills me. Your face brings out the hate that rots me. The face of everyday that haunts me. I can't pull away my blank stare. A thousand times should prove I don't care. But hands can't steal the light that makes me. Or bring me to the fate that breaks me I feel it crawling up my spine. But i'll cut it off before it reaches the bloodline. You'll never fade me out, you'll never turn me off. You'll never reach the end, you'll never hear enough. You're the half-grasp can't exterminate my stand. You can't rule with a broken upper hand. A fragment of what's been left behind. Trapped behind my state of mind, I took your words and now I'm blind. And everything you've given just kills me.
-Demon Hunter
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June 22, 2008 - Sunday
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June 22, 2008 - Sunday
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Current mood:  numb
I want to start this blog off by apologizing for my carelessness. It was stupid of me to have done what I did and I take responsibility for my transgression. I also ask that you also forgive the other who was involved.
I knew what was happening and I couldn't make myself do anything about it.
I cannot drink nor will I smoke anymore. If I can't control myself then I am no better than a fool.
Some must numb themselves so they can be strong for the one's who really need them to be. I'm sorry, I won't let my emotions get in the way anymore. I will cut myself open to bleed out this infection so it cannot hold me down anymore.
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