MySpace

The World According to Jared I probably love you

MySpace.com | rss | sign in
Jared Livingston

Jared Still


Last Updated: 10/8/2009

Send Message
Instant Message
Email to a Friend
Subscribe

Gender: Male
Status: Married
Age: 32
Sign: Gemini

City: Dallas
State: Texas
Country: US
Signup Date: 2/21/2005

Blog Archive
[Older      Newer]
 /  / 
Sunday, April 19, 2009 

First of all, I just want to acknowledge the fact that I don’t write that often anymore.  I don’t blog—although I have a million things I’d like to say—I don’t use the bulletin/notes on Myspace/Facebook like I once did, and even my Twitter usage has dropped-off pretty dramatically.  Two of my goals over the past three years have been to write a book about manhood and to build and grow a blog about leadership with focus on the worlds of business and sports.  Those frankly, just aren’t as much of a priority right now, nor is it practically feasible. 

So, I don’t write or blog all that often (read: ever), but I’m applying to three top-15 business schools, entering into Raytheon’s very selective Six Sigma Expert program, and we’re pursuing custody of Taylor & Brooke in Colorado…all while intentionally and lovingly leading/teaching/loving Emma, Laura & Caroline while Jill and I do a lot of great, deep intimate work on the foundation of our marriage and friendship.  So, writing, isn’t on the backburner…it’s back in the freezer.  My voice and time is just needed in so many other places right now!

All that being said, I just have to pour out about my adoration, amazement and insanely intimate love for my bride, Jill Still.   Sometime last year, after reading some of Sacred Marriage with Jill (a gift from Bruce and Amy Bechold), I wrote a blog about how God designed marriage for our holiness, not our happiness.  Of course, in God’s grace, it’s through that deep abiding pursuit of His will for our lives, that we lovingly experience true, deep & pure joy, as we find ourselves in rhythm with how He’s designed us. 

I feel so humbled, so incredibly blessed to be able to say, the year-and-a-half that I’ve spent with my soul mate have been an embodiment of this love and grace.  In a word, it has been amazing!

Right now, I wake up every morning to the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.  I spend each and every day talking through life with the best friend that I’ve ever had.  I spend each night with the most amazing wife, friend and mother, going through the trials, the challenges, the laughs, the journeys, the joys, the movies, the messes, the bills, the adventures, the confusions, the silliness, the setbacks, the lessons, the teachings and the goofiness of life.

God put the idea of ‘servant leadership’ on my heart long before I became a true believer, and before I really had to live out the idea of loving, humble, leadership.  I was a newly commissioned 2nd Lieutenant in the Air Force when I first realized that I could “lead from where I was at”, and the best way to do so was in service to my leadership—even though as an officer I might have legally outranked 85% of the military, it was incumbent upon me to humbly serve “where I was at”.  I now believe this is one the character foundations that God’s been growing in me for 10 years now, to best prepare me for this marriage and the challenge of being a daddy/step-dad/father-figure to five girls (and someday maybe more?!).

I know with everything in me, that all leadership, direction, vision, tone, and responsibility for this family rest on my shoulders.  I also know with everything in me, that I cannot handle marriage, work, family and household without the amazing compliment, balance and partnership of Jill.  I know I’m the leader and I know God’s set a clear direction & vision on my heart for our family.  I also know that if I allow my natural inclination and disposition to take-over and direct (as I would with men) overcome my appointment& responsibility to lovingly walk alongside my wife as we lead these girls, in empowerment, teaching, talking, then I am failing Jill, and each of the five girls. 

And it doesn’t always play out like that.  Jill, Emma, Laura and Caroline (as well as Taylor & Brooke when they’ve been with us) are the most accurate barometers of my leadership.  I know when I’m wrong, when I’m off.  I can feel the impact of my sin when I fall short of that ideal…and it’s this gauge that God has lovingly used for what I call my “sanctification on steroids”. 

Whew…let me tell you, there’s no emotional status check like living with three-to-five girls ages 7-11, and one beautiful, deeply complex, fragile and stunning beauty of a wife.  Again, I know when I’m not living out the ideal of servant leadership in my marriage and home.


But what’s brought Jill and I to this place where we’re living in a marriage that neither of us ever dreamed possible is not necessarily an ideal, a vision or a mission in our life…no, it’s the practical good ole hard, diligent work that we’ve put into the marriage.   “Grinding”, by the grace of God!

The first golf analogy for our marriage is the need to “grind”.  Tiger Woods talks about it all the time.  Those days, or those rounds where he doesn’t have his “A-game”, or his putter is failing him a bit, or he just can’t seem to hit fairways…what does he do? Does Tiger wrap his 5 iron around a tree and quit?  No.  He grinds.  He goes out there and literally approaches every single shot with the perspective and effort to make that shot excellent.  He grinds…often he grinds his way up the leader board and into victory, or at least into position to make a great move on the day that he does have his A-game.   How is this like marriage?  Well, simply, most of life is a grind.  If you don’t believe that, perhaps it’s time to put down the bong and stop playing “world of warcraft”.  Because life is a grind.  Marriage is a grind.  Everything in the world, from relationships, to work, to families, to temptation of every sort, and especially finances make marriage exceedingly difficult.  (I would say even more so, if you’re newly married with a blended family, custody pursuit and both recovering from past painful marriages!)   As I tell the girls all the time, “Life is hard.  Every year in school and in life will be harder than the last.  When you accept this, you will see it ceases to be as hard because we’re prepared for it to grow more difficult.”

Yes, Jill and I have been grinding big-time—and it’s produced incredible joy!  Another golf analogy that I love to use; If Tiger Woods is the greatest golfer in the world (which he is—he’s the greatest of all time), and has the most acute awareness of every aspect of his golf game, but still works with a swing coach, what should that tell us about our own lives, and our need for expert counsel?  I’m such a huge believer that everyone should routinely see a counselor.  I don’t care what the machismo, self-reliant, prideful stigma in our culture says, counseling and therapy is an amazing resource! 

Jill and I have been seeing a Christian, pastoral counselor every week.  I started going on my own, then Jill and I started going together.  Later, we broke apart and started seeing the same guy, but at different times.  We’ve come back together for couple counseling when we’ve needed to, but for the most part, we’ve worked with this amazing, Godly man in parallel.  We then spend Weds and Thurs evenings talking through whatever revelations were made, or whatever tools we’ve learned, or whatever insight we’ve gained.  Grinding.  The time has been so amazing to just enjoy a couple glasses of wine, decompress and spend some uninterrupted, intimate connection time.  It’s seriously deep foundation building moments that are forging lifelong intimacy, and bringing us to know each other’s hearts in ways we’ve never been known.  This is the intimate upside to ‘grinding’…this is when putting in hard work, helps make life less difficult.

Secondly, Jill and I have been going through Recovery Step-Studyat The Village for 13 weeks now.  It’s basically “discipleship on steroids” (as Matt Chandler calls it), unpacking every area of your life, your heart, your past, and rebuilding from the pain, resentments, fears and sins of life, and Biblically applying a Gospel-infused version of the classic 12-step recovery program.  Another tool that has been unbelievably powerful and healing for Jill and I, as well as incredibly revealing to us regarding the “why” behind things that we feel or think.  There’s seriously no reason anyone should not go through this type of study.  Some rounds we all need to grind. 

In addition to becoming covenant members at The Village, Jill and I have also studied a ton of sermons and the related Bible teachings over this time as well.  This is the intellectual part of the grind.  Listen to teachers—people that know more—and let God speak to our lives through it.  Grinding through podcasting & reading!

Lastly, from the moment I knew I was going to marry Jill (our first 5 hour phone conversation sometime in Oct of 07), I really felt like I was missing a piece of the counsel I needed in my life.  I have the most incredible group of brothers (IRON!) that I’ve gone through life with over the past three, five, ten and fifteen years.  Guys like my core, small group in LA (IRON!).  Guys from LA, and from my fraternity and from the military that I call my “male soul mates” (IRON!).  God’s also keeps bringing some really awesome friends into our lives here in Dallas...as well.  In addition to always having the loving, loyal counsel of my dear mom, dad and little brother Adam, I also have a few men that I count as my mentors.  But they’re not geographically in my life, and far too busy for me to really be under their counsel at a deep level.  I needed to go through marriage with other godly, older married men.  Veterans of the faith, of raising kids, of finding the professional/life balance, and of walking through the seasons of married life.  And Jill wanted the same for me, and for herself.  God finally brought those folks into our life through a home-group at church that is just filled with the most amazing men and women, who have the most amazing marriages!  There are a few elder-candidates for our church in the group, and we have the most junior marriage by at least 15 or 20 years! We are so, so thankful! What a blessing!

So, what does this all result in feeling like? This year has been nothing
short of feeling like our souls have been given a glimpse of Heaven!  I feel a love for Jill that is bigger and more rock-solid than all of the granite of the ..Rocky
Mountains...I have my breath taken away every single day by Jill’s beauty, and the beautiful grace that she extends to me.  Everything Jill does for me, and says to me gives me the freedom and encouragement to be the man that God designed me to be.  In spite of all of the love and grace that God pours into my life through my amazing wife, every day I fall short, and every day I’m selfishly absorbed…and when I repent and ask forgiveness, Jill just loves me more.  I am constantly poured into and encouraged by a wife that loves me beyond words, and beyond her own explanation.  And this woman is my best friend, my confidant; she is the sexiest, most beautiful and funniest girl I have ever known!  It is truly a remarkable place to be emotionally, as we have given each other the gifts of trust and trustworthiness, the gifts of hope and encouragement, and the gift of repentance and forgiveness.  It’s so, so solid!

We disagree, we pray/work through it and grow.  We get hurt, we pray/work through it and grow.  We (and by we, I mean “I”) get grumpy, irritable and tired, we (I) pray/work through it and we
grow.  We have stress about bills, lawyers, the future, we pray, pray, pray and work through it and grow.   We relapse into old fears, hurts or places of resentment, we pray/work through it and grow.  We have constant challenges and teaching opportunities with the girls, we teach, pray through it and grow.  This is what grinding looks like in our lives, and it is paying incredibly beautiful rewards to Jill and I through this season of our marriage!

Thank you Jill! I love you with all of me.

23:45 
1 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Thursday, October 02, 2008 
Check 'em out!

http://www.soldierwish.com

http://www.wishy.com

My fellow humans,

This project is very special to me, because I have gone through life in combat with young men & women that would spend 12, 15 months away from their young families...and miss birthdays, Christmas and anniversaries. Repeatedly.


Please follow the link and check out the site.
You won't actually be able to purchase gifts for soldiers until about mid-November, but you can start spreading the word and thinking about it!

We're about to announce a partnership with the NFL's Patriots and the Kraft Group so you might start seeing commercials on Sundays!! Tell everyone you know! God Bless


And if you're an investor, there's a section for you at Wishy. com.
But don't sleep on it, things are moving fast and Wishy is about to be the 'Next Big Thing'!

WWW. SOLDIERWISH. COM -- AMERICA GIVES BACK!

This Christmas, Wishy and Soldierwish. com believe that we can join in a little sacrifice and give back to some of our active duty troops serving us in Iraq and the Middle East.
Using our Wishy Platform, we are creating a program by which soldiers and members of their immediate families can create wish lists at www. soldierwish. com.
Any American can then visit their wish page, select an item, purchase the product through a couple quick clicks, and send a note of encouragement to the soldier or their family. It is all done through encrypted technology protecting both the soldier and buyer, but enabling both to reap the rewards of their sacrifice. So join us in spreading the word about what we are planning to do. Also look for the upcoming site scheduled to launch November 1st! We would love to have 10,000 friends on this group by launch.
Help us help them!
20:09 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Tuesday, August 05, 2008 
If you've missed any of my (sparse) writing, I suggest you go on over to: http://jaredstill.blogspot.com as well as following the mini-Jared's at http://twitter.com/jaredstill

Cool, foolios!

jls

So, I've had this huge desire to write and tell stories for the better part of 5 years now. And embarrassingly so, I've yet to act on it. Sure, it hasn't been one of my primary focuses in life--but that's part of what brings me the embarrassment--I haven't made it a primary focus.

There was a window when I returned from Iraq that it would have been most relevant to tell the story of Baghdad 2004. Of course, the story I wanted to--and intended to--tell, was one of the 'romance' of the whole battle. The epic adventure that it was for me and my own band of brothers. So, perhaps the window of relevance for that story isn't closed, but it's not what I feel I need to write about now.

I need to write about being a man. I feel the lack of real men is an epidemic in our culture.

I feel it it is at the root of so many parts of our culture that are in decay.

I feel it is at the root of crime and incarceration statistics in the black community (yes, I'm going to write about it even though the race-mongers in our country won't let you talk about race unless you're black and your name ends in ___arpton or ___ckson)

I feel the lack of real men in our culture is an epidemic that is damaging a generation of women

I feel encouraged by the men in MY LIFE that embody the ideal to me.

Over the years I've come to see some character traits that are generally accepted as "manly" as stupid, machismo and ignorant. Over the years, I've also seen some of the cultural pressures on men to be poisonous lies and feminist propaganda.

I've also come to believe that young men today have such a false sense of identity because in large part they grew up as the first generation in this country that was absolutely at the center of the universe in terms of how their parents approached parenting.

I also feel that we raise emotionally constipated men that are unfit for raising other boys, let alone raising and loving little girls.

Men should cry. They should cry for joy, they should cry out of anger if they share the heart of God. They should cry when the weight and magnitude of their parents or spouses or God's love HITS THEM for the first time. It's cool. It's necessary and empowering to have a good man-cry.

Men should instinctively react to protect, defend and fight for what is RIGHT. I feel women are far more gifted at caring for the hungry, homeless and orphaned; I want to DEFEND THEM.

Men should find their identity in the right place. In their creator God, and His purposes for their lives. If they don't they will chase woman after woman in search of that identity and validation. Or, once married, they will still chase women, either through the fantasy of porn (53% of men use porn, even more have at one point been addicted) or through emotional and physical affair. Men, seeking their identity in the wrong place will chase the next job, the next promotion, the face-time with the boss and winning the quarterly 'xyz' as if it that promotion, raise and VP title were the ones at home every night, just wanting to be loved, hugged, admired and spent time with.

A real man figures out how to make it all work, and has the perspective on life to know that "it all" working means taking some rest, enjoying a laid back dinner of drinks and a meal with great friends, Bible study alone in the morning, a nap on Saturday afternoon with the wife. A real man can find balance in life through perspective, before finding perspective on life through things being out of balance.

Guys, we've got to instinctively know how to love, live, fight, defend, make peace, teach, lead and follow. The book I'm going to write is my belief in a road-map and framework to do so.

I need all the encouragement and accountability possible. After all, I'm three years behind on my first book.
05:10 
1 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 

Category: Life
There's something that I've learned in the past 8 1/2 years of being a Daddy, and that is that the most special moments just manifest themselves in the most unexpected times.

Much like elsewhere in life, the opportunities to really love someone, make the day of a stranger, make your spouse or Mom or brother feel loved and valued, come in the little moments in life. They don't just sneak up on you, the just appear. And either you're dialed-in and aware enough to be "present" in those moments, or you're not. They don't just appear because you're in a great mood, filled with the Spirit and all of your bills are paid. No, sometime they just come when you're dead broke, exhausted, somewhat lost yourself, and not because you fit them into family time, a Daddy date, prayer time or anywhere else that you may necessarily have planned.

No, these times just appear. Gifts from God that hit you in the heart and stay in your soul all of your life.

My favorite, most amazing Daddy moment of all time was the spring of 2005 (my first in LA) and I took Taylor and Brooke to the Ocean on a weekday afternoon. I should have been at work, and I think they were missing a couple days of school. We played, chased, ran from waves, built stuff in the sand and did the pretty standard-issue Pacific Ocean stuff you do. Then, as the sun was just collapsing into the horizon, time stood still. Taylor and Brooke ended up wrapped in their towels, in my arms, and we all were just silent. I held them as close as I could and God gave us a glimpse into eternity as it felt like time stood still, as we just a bask in the glow of the descending sun, while were enveloped by the sound of the surf lapping the shore. My heart felt so alive. So at peace. So certain in love. With God. With His love for me. My love for Taylor and Brooke. Total peace and joy. Taylor, Brooke and I have tons of great memories from our times together in LA, but to me, as their Dad, that was the single most special.

Last night was another great Daddy moment, that just appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

The amazing thing about having three girls in the house at the "Crazy age" (between 7 and 18), is that those little moments manifest themselves so quickly and unexpectedly. It is truly such a challenge, but such a joy to be a step-Dad. And I just pray to be "present" enough to capture most of these little gifts from God. I really believe that's where being a father turns into being a Daddy.

Anyways, I was just so blown away that on a night when I came home absolutely emotionally and physically drained and fatigued, that in a matter of moments, the girls has totally transformed that. (Well, that and some great cooking by Jill Still). It started with sharing bruises, then scratches, then stories from their day, then some other craziness, followed by them bouncing off the walls like electrons around an unstable atom.

And then, wham, all of a sudden, Emma is piled in bed next to me with every year book she's ever had. Walking me through pictures of her childhood. Laura and Caroline are in the room too. Making their way to the bed as well because we needed to see if all five of us could comfortably hang out on a queen size bed (we can). There were a couple baths, washed hair, and then I got to brush some hair while is seemed like once again time stood still. A little, rather insignificant way to serve the little girls (brushing their hair), while Emma laid against me, just turned into one of "those moments" in which all felt so right in my heart and the world. So much love, peace and joy. So much Jesus in the presence of it all.

Life is definitely in these little moments, when we're least prepared. My prayer is seriously to be aware and obedient to these opportunities to love everyone around me (do the cats count?) in these moments.
01:26 
6 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Thursday, May 15, 2008 
So, as you might be aware if you follow me on twitter, I have a concussion. Yep, a concussion.

How you may ask? I am so glad you asked! Let me tell you!

In a brilliant move last night, I was traversing the Route Irish of our house; the pitch black alley of death between my bed and the toilet part of the bathroom. in the 15 feet before the I reach relief, I must daftly avoid the attacks of any number of snipers (random floor-borne hazards) and road-side bombs (doors ajar). So last night, the shower door--the insurgent of the bathroom--left itself open at such an angle that it hit me dead on in the eyebrow. There was no glancing-blow...I hit it dead-on, and my bell was rung. After evading further attack (and taking out my anger on both Mr shower door and Mr bathroom door), I sat down on the toilet (yes, I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit I sit down when I pee. I'm just too lazy to stand there, and secondly, I stopped peeing standing up once I started having to clean my own bathroom. Just never know where that stream is going to go, especially at night. And that's disgusting.)...I digress. I sat down on the toilet and started bleeding. A lot.

Today I was dizzy, completely nauseous and hurting pretty bad. I'll be fine, but it was not pleasant.

So, these are a random collection of thoughts in a concussion induced state.

- I love my parents. As each day in my maturation (drinking from the fire hose of real life) as a man, Dad, husband and step-dad comes & goes, I have a renewed appreciation and admiration for my wonderful Mom, my amazing Dad, and my loving Step-Mom. In short, they friendships are more precious than gold, and their characters more solid, righteous and inspiring than any hero that Hollywood could write into even the best of screenplays. I love My Mom, Dad and Step-Mom so very much.

- I also have a burning anger, disgust and disappointment in my Step-Dad. I don't feel good about having so much anger, but its the type of righteous anger that I believe we are supposed to feel towards evil, sin and destruction. I do need to move my heart to the New Testament part of this chapter and find grace and a peace that surpasses all understanding. I'm just not there though.

- My wife is my best friend, and our marriage is the absolute greatest gift and joy of my life. Not because its a party or always easy. Those of you who know me, know I am far too passionate, grumpy, irritable and emotional for any relationship to be smooth sailing. But also among you, you have told me my heart is as big as five states. And that with God's grace and Jill-just-being perfect-hearted-Jill, its amazing.

- I am really praying to know in what way God wants me to use my gifts, talents and passions to bring Him glory and advance the Kingdom. I know it's going to be a strategic position, with great opportunity. He's put in deeply in my heart. But what does that look like? What will be my life's work and ministry outside of the home?

- Lebron James is the biggest freak I have ever seen. And Brian McKiernan and Adam Coyne still owe me $100 each because I bet them back in 2003 that King James would have a better rookie year than anyone in the modern era other than Oscar Robertson. Pay up suckas. He's perhaps more of a freak emotionally than physically. I mean think about it. This 18 year old lived up to, and continues to surpass any and all expectations, under greater pressure and scrutiny than has ever been placed on any athlete. Ever. Amazing. I love Lebron.

- I love Brady Quinn too. A great friend of mine had lunch with the Browns front-office and BQ this week. And at 23, this kid really gets it. In a Christian perspective and understanding of his blessings, talents and opportunity. I really want to see him succeed.

- I am a jerk sometimes. Sometimes I just have nothing but irritation. Grumpiness. I act like the 7 year old Jared crawled inside the 30 year old Jared and started knifing the 30 year old and blaming it on everyone else around. In a way it just reminds me of how young I am. How fast it seems I had to grow up. How much more it seems I have to grow to be the man that God designed me to be.

- But you know what? I'm on God's path for my life right now, so that growth and maturation is called: SANCTIFICATION. So, I'm cool.

- Don't tase me bro!

- I have the need.....the need for speed........

- Ah ha....Jester's dead!

- And two of your snot-nose punks buzzed my tower at over 400 knots! I want some butts!

Love this video below...and I love you!

peace.

jls


03:41 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Wednesday, May 14, 2008 

Category: Life
So I haven't written much lately? So what? Neither has Shakespeare!

Inspired by my friend Jay McKenney, I submit for your digestion, the top 10 things I love right now (and maybe a few that didn't make the cut)

1. The daily sanctification of my crazy life as I desperately walk (picture the kid that jogs through the mall to keep up with power-walking Mom) with Christ.

Wow! So my best friend and soul mate, Jill has been Jill Still since 7 Dec. In April, I finally migrated completely to our beautiful home in Plano, TX. Every. Single. Day. since Dec 7th has been transformational in my maturation as a Christian, a man, and what it means to be a hubby/daddy/step-daddy, Christian man.

2. My wife.

I can not even put into words the powerful, planet moving, soul-burning, life-changing, Jesus-reflecting, amazing agape, love that I enjoy from, and feel for, my wife Jill. Her heart. Our trust. Our communication. Our commitment to fight fairly through deep, real, recovery-needed-because-we've-both-been-really-hurt-issues. I know more about becoming a more Holy man, because the demand is in my face every single day. Marriage demands my absolute best. My absolute most. My absolute humility. My absolute most grace. And guess what? I'm never that good. Never. That's what is so amazing when you find that you-are-not-enough, and the distance between you and your wife is easily overcome by the 'combat bridge' of Jesus, Scripture, and my wife's own heart, love and grace. It's also amazing to see the power of certainty of our commitment being that of a lifetime. It is like building a house on top of Pikes Peak's 14,115 feet of granite, and hoping that it survives high-tide from the Atlantic Ocean. Yeah, it's that powerful.

3. Football.

In May, you ask? Yes. The draft a couple weeks ago was an annual renewal of my deep desire to be operationally involved in football. The NFL Network starting "Hard Knocks", a deep look inside the training camp of the KC Chiefs got me burning with that desire to be a part some day.

I love the business, I love the sport, I love the stories, I love the game & enterprise completely. Sorry defense world. Someday I will be in football.

4. Being a Daddy and step-daddy. I will go into much further detail in future posts, but to tease the subject, I am so in love and so grateful for the toughest job I've ever under-taken.

5. Raytheon contracting.

I am being used in the right capacity (more frequently) on exciting programs. I'm consistently 10-20 years junior to everyone else in the room; and if I may say so myself, through God's great blessing, I continue to flourish in those settings. I love being good at something, and while not always exciting, having a role, impact and your peer's respect, is really cool.

6. The Broncos draft.

With the addition of DT Kentwan Balmer right before the draft for a conditional pick in 2009 (basically for free because he'll never play 65% of downs in the Broncos scheme that rotates their lineman on so many downs), I feel the Broncos addressed their remaining needs with exceptional scouting and finding great potential value(including taking OT Ryan Clady at the highest pick the Broncos have had in about a decade at 12th overall, and getting a great KR & potential slot WR at 42 in Royal from VT). I am really excited that they drafted two married fathers and a guy that was at Bible study when he got his draft call (read: maturity)

7. USC Football

USC had perhaps the best draft of anyone. Wow, Pete Carroll can recruit and coach. And wow, am I excited to see another undefeated Trojan season and BCS National Championship!

8. Plano and Frisco, TX

I love this area so far. Really excited to explore more with Jill and the girls over the summer.

9. Finding a Church home.

As in, we really need to find one. I do really feel led to The Village Church in Highland Village. They're part of the Act 29 network (as is Mars Hill Church in SEA. And the Mars Hill pastor Mark Driscoll has been extremely influential this year in my theological growth. Thank you God for podcasting. See 10). But we haven't decided and gotten connected yet. But I do know & trust that wherever that may be, that it is God that has taken us there and will use the community in the life of Jill, the girls and I.

10. Podcasting Sermons.

I've been so spiritually fed lately by sermons by a number of great, great pastors and Bible teachers. They all have different styles and are currently in different areas of instruction and emphasis in their teachings, but I am so blown away by God's word coming alive in my life through the teachings of:

Mark Driscoll, Mars Hill Church, SEA

Brady Boyd, New Life Church, Colorado Springs, CO (my Dad's Church)

Matt Chandler, The Village Church, Dallas, TX

Tommy Nelson, Denton Bible, Denton, TX
02:27 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Wednesday, December 05, 2007 

Category: Life
I had an Alex moment today

I had an Alex Moore moment today (and no Richard, I don't mean a "I lost my keys in my shoes, with my vanilla wafers", type of moment).

Maybe obvious to some of you, Alex Moore is one of my best friends ever, and a guy I've been blessed to be in small group with for more than two years.

About a year and a half ago, Alex was in one of my favorite places in the world—The Garden of the Gods—when he was coming past "balanced rock", he was overcome, feeling completely blinded by the sun as he came around the corner of the mass of red rock, precariously balanced over the path. Alex can tell you the rest of that story, but let's just say—that light was preceded by, and consumed by him hearing from God, as he continued in prayer through that walk.

To me, I know that time in Alex's life as the season in which he transitioned from a painful break-up, in the wrong relationship, that was too near marriage...to a season of complete love, freedom, truth and rebirth in Christ. A period that also preceded he and Amy being literally romanced by God through a safe, amazingly free and loving courtship, which led to their romance…which will culminate in marriage in April.

Today, at the Hyatt on the bay in San Diego, I left the F/A-18 "Hornet" International Logistics Conference on our afternoon break and walked to the bench on the shore to just soak-up the sun and take in the beauty and breeze. I've lived in Southern California for almost three years, including more than a year right at the beach in Santa Monica. And I'm telling you, today was special. It was peaceful, beautifully lit, the sky framed perfectly in every direction by seemingly cloud-height palms…and bright.

I was in my own world out there. Just praying over some things in life. Mostly total joy and praise for where I find myself now after such a tough, tough couple years. It was a great, peaceful, restful state….and then I was just hit—like Alex—with that light, and inability to really see. I had been sitting there for ten minutes, and then—wham—corresponding with this glowing feeling that God wants, really wants to bless me with the deepest desires of my heart, I almost comically couldn't see. My eyes were watering incessantly, seemingly blinded no matter where I looked.

I just kept wiping away. Enjoyed the warmth and peace of the sun and the moment.

It wasn't even before I got up off of the concrete San Diego Parks bench, that I laughed about just how similar the season in life and the moment must have been to Alex's, 18 months ago in Garden of the God's…

And just gave thanks for the beautiful freedom, love, truth and rebirth. It truly is a new season. I can see that
07:00 
7 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Monday, October 15, 2007 

Category: Sports
YOU. Stupid Denver Donkeys!

YOU SUCK! And Mikey Shanny...I am tired of your stupid face! just LEAVE!

(but I'm not quite deleting you)

I'm talking to YOU, you stupid Denver Broncos Alias!

(and I'm not quite dropping you from my top-friends...dropping you to the bottom so people know how MAD I AM AT YOU!)

Trust me Denver, this hurts me more than it hurts you.

We go back 30 years...30 freaking years!

And this is all you can give me?

I drove to the "whale's vagina", I mean, San Diego to see you SMACK THE PACK!

My parents left me home to see Craig Morton diarrhea all over the field and himself in New Orleans.

I cried against the Giants.

I cried for 3 quarters against Dougie and the Skins

I cut off my ear AND MAILED IT TO YOU after the Niner's

Then I cried, cried, and cried with joy against the Pack & Falcons.

AND THIS IS ALL YOU CAN GIVE ME?!

I HATE YOU DENVER!

Nice run defense F'ers!

The guys with the ball, running between the tackles, are RUNNING BACKS...NOT BOMB-VEST-STRAPPED PALESTINIAN TERRORISTS!

You CAN, and in fact MUST tackle them! Hit them! HIT SOMEBODY!

When the little man kicks the football to you, run forward, without falling down...and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, if you drop that f'ing ball again, YOU WILL see the afore-mentioned terrorists, bombing your stupid stadium....I mean COUNTRY CLUB AT MILE HIGH!

GROW. SOME. STONES!

League's leading rusher? AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Solid 2nd year QB? (who might just need to keep his clothes on at private golf courses & stop throwing INT's) AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

BEST WIDE RECEIVING CORPS ever in Denver? EVER?!? AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Simeon Rice?
Champ Bailey?
DJ Williams?
Dre Bly?

AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

Daniel Graham?
Coach Jim Bates?
Tim Crowder, Marcus Thomas & Jarvis Moss & crazy, little Dumerville?

AND YOU'RE 2-3?!

I HATE YOU RIGHT NOW, DENVER.

But I'll always love. Remember Whitney Houston? Before all the crank & abuse? Yeah, "Bodyguard" type of I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

Oh my gosh...just so emotional right now! Go...go away forever! Get out of my sight.

NO WAIT. I LOVEYOU! COME BACK!

We can make things like they used to be!

It's bad...but we can make it work.

YOU'RE NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH!

YOU NEVER LOVED ME!

you only love the way that I love you...

NO WAIT! I didn't mean that....I'm so sorry....

YES I DID! I HATE YOUR STUPID TEAM!

I

(tears. pulling out my own hair)

LOVE

(more tears, doing weird break-dancing type of conniption fit on the floor crying)

YOU

(arms wide-open, begging you, the real you to come back)

PLEASE

(heavy, deep, crushing, moaning, weeps of sorrow)

WIN BABY....

JUST FREAKING WIN. (choking on my own tear-filled vomit)

BABY!
20:52 
2 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Tuesday, August 28, 2007 

Current mood:awesome. yes, I’m feeling awesome
Category: Religion and Philosophy
ON THE FRONT LINES OF FAITH IN 2007

PART ONE. GOD VALUES THE JOURNEY

This year, and reaching back by extension to much of last year, has been the most difficult, challenging, fulfilling, testing, inspiring, heart-breaking and invigorating of my entire life. It has been one of the years where those further detached from me feel I've been through hell and am not "happy", being beat up by circumstances and trial. That's somewhat true (anyone that laughs as much as I do, does *not* have a happiness deficiency). However, it has also been one of those years that those closest to my life—my small group, Crissy, Deano, Pastor Keenan and few others as God brought us in & out of each other's lives and dialogue—have also seen incredible emotional highs, not in reaction to circumstances, but in celebration of God's strength, redeeming power, faithfulness and powerful grace. This has also been true.

So, where to begin? Let me turn to the lifeblood of the little understanding I'm granted within this hyper-curious intellect of mine: Scripture.

Matthew 6: 33-34

33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Mark 1: 11-13

11 And a voice came from heaven: "You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased." 12 At once the Spirit sent him out into the desert, 13 and he was in the desert forty days, being tempted by Satan. He was with the wild animals, and angels attended him.

These two scriptures I believe to be offer an incredible framework for understanding my recent walk with Christ, as well as providing a model for a bit of analysis, for the sake of continual growth. I will explain further in parts two and three.

But, for PART ONE, first we are going to consider 1 Samuel 16 through 2 Samuel 5

36 chapters in the Bible, covering twenty-some years. David was the youngest son of Jesse when called from the fields and anointed to be King of Israel by Samuel. (I don't know how young, but given that he was yet pretty small when he kicked Goliath's arse, I think we can presume he was no older than 10, 12 at the most.)

So, why are these chapters important?

Well, first of all, David is said to be a man after God's own heart. God clearly does bestow favor upon those that seek Him in the manner that we were created (in His image). David got it. We men should try to get David. We NEED to try to be like David

To me the chapters hold incredible importance because they detail the journey of into King for David. It cannot be over-emphasized; THE JOURNEY into Kingship. "David was 30 years old, he reigned for 40 years and he did so in the following locations. Yada, yada, yada."

Wow. And there in 2 Samuel 5: 4 you have the boldest declaration by our Lord of how deeply He values the process in life. The Journey! 36 chapters detailing a life of battles, trial, torment, victory, struggle, fleeing, lamentations and praises of David before ever becoming King. Then 2 Samuel closes with another 19 Chapters detailing the glory, fall, sorrow and praise of David as King, but the heavy-hitting truth to me was that so much weight was cast upon the journey into Kingship of a boy that had been anointed decades earlier!

(This is perfectly captured by New Life Church associate pastor Rob Brendle in "In the Meantime", available on Amazon Rob's Book Here)

Whoa. I don't know about you guys, but I was never pulled from the field and anointed with oils by Ronald Reagan, nor George Bush 41 for that matter; yet I have felt—I do feel—a calling, a purpose, a grandiose mission in life, which was due to unfold.

All of us men do.

It is authored there by the Holy Spirit and it stirs inside of us when we dare dream those things that a life of "the normalization of assimilation" has stripped away from our unique dreams, desires and callings that are scripted to be perfectly refined by our Lord, using our blessings and talents for His glory.

That's a long, run-on sentence way of acknowledging that we are not the sole authors of our dreams. And that our dreams and the intrinsic adventure and required belief-in-self are REPRESSED by the social constructs (the world) in which we conform to, when we're not "seeking first, the Kingdom of God".

Yet, even after reading Rob's book, I would still let impatience (inherently distrust of God's will in my life) take over as I just.could.not.sit.still.and.wait.

How God? How am I best to wait on your timing? I just feel so convicted and strangely, strengthened by this example of David's life.

I mean seriously, just how short-sighted and weak is it of me to feel so restless and lost in my own life's desert, when compared to what David went through?

"God, here I am! With all the food I can eat, so that I've actually gained weight. I'm living by the beach in Santa Monica…statistically-speaking I am among the wealthiest, healthiest and safest 1% of people to ever walk this earth…whoa-is-me, God….boo-hoo…I am Jared, and I am broke and a not-so-starving entrepreneur…and I hear I am, God, where are you??"

Yeah, ridiculous.

Now, there's no doubt that the amount of spiritual torment and emotional trial I have been through in this past year has been real. And it has been real hard. But I, like so many of us, need a freaking reality check sometimes, and for me, I found that in David.

Hurting. Lost. Failing with the company? In despair. Sinful. Tired. Exhausted. Broke (as if I had forgotten the level of impoverishment in India I saw in Feb). In debt (as if worrying about it all was doing any good anyways), and under attack."

Yeah, in reflection, I'm reminded of how relative life and relationships just really are. Whereas, my relative pain, struggle and turmoil was big-time to me, I will always count myself among the most blessed people on the planet.

But what I felt I was going through was my own Psalm 55. And it was new. Raw. Rough. I've been through a combat deployment and have been through divorce. And you know what, I would have traded being under fire throughout my tour in Iraq, traveling the roads in our "soft" SUV's for parts of this year, in a heartbeat. This year was that tough.

To me, war is the natural romantic, intrinsically male "battle to fight" that we all search for (well, at least those of us who have not been overly pussified by "sensitive Christian man" movement. You must first be a MAN after God's own heart, before attaining true sensitivity and righteousness. Trying to be a woman just makes you a pussy.) Sorry for the language and the divergence. Let's get back to David….

If David was a bit more Jared, we would have had Psalms that sounded more like:

"Really Lord? Freaking REALLY?? Do ye not the oil on the forehead, remembereth?"

"Lord I didn't tell you I wanted to be King of Israel, you pulled me out of the fields and said, 'Yep. He's the one. Bam! Oil. Head.' Rememberth ye, O Lord?"

"Lord, my God, savior of my soul, if your anointing leadeth one to live and hide in caves, chased to be killed like a wild dog, I would hate to fall out of your favor! Jeesh…."

"O Lord, just HOW busy are you up there that you seem to have lost track of YOUR OWN plan for my life?"

"Remembereth, ye O Lord?? Field. Oil. Head. Fighting big guys, slaying dirty Philistines….and now this?? I just pretended to be FREAKING PSYCHO to save my life! And oh yeah, still wandering around in ENEMY LAND!"

But thankfully, David was not so Jared-like, and its David's warrior-of-a-life, that Jared now completely looks to live into.

So, I look to the actual construct of the books of Samuel to a clue into God's desire for my own life; 36 chapters devoted to a 20-year process of becoming King, one verse about actually arriving at King, and then another 19 chapters about the process of being King.

This year has been the most purposeful in my life, as I have had each and every "strength" I counted my own, broken down completely and built back up by faith alone. No. Honestly. I used to think that some of the things I heard from Ted Haggard, Mark Brewer, Rob Brendle and others, were just too "Christianese" to resonate…that it was hyperbole of the faith and I couldn't quite grasp. Now I get it. Honestly my friends, if you want to truly know what it is like to be humbled—just ask. God will lovingly, but brutally and systematically break down every construct of strength that you have pridefully erected in reaction to the world's pressure on you. And it won't feel so great….but it will be the best process of your life. The model can be seen in our own physiology too; just think about what lifting weights is to your body—the process of tearing, literally tearing down muscle, to refine it and build it back up, strengthened and with rest, invigorated in serving its unique purpose on your body (such as the delts and tris for breaking my stupid phone.)

Cool. I get it. God values the journey!

…now Dear God, please strengthen me in actually LIVING INTO that truth for my own life. Patience in your perfect timing. Celebration and praise in the perfect refinement (no matter how hard core) you must exact in my life…and thank you God for letting me come to you, letting me walk with the mighty sword and hand of your Son Jesus...and for picking me and the sword up when I go through life falling all over myself. May I one day grow into the armor befitting of the righteous King David! Amen!
01:17 
2 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Tuesday, July 31, 2007 

Category: Blogging
(on myspace)

Join me at 30 is the new 20

my new blog.

peace & love

Jared
05:30 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, June 16, 2007 

Category: News and Politics
Ladies & Gentlemen,

I am a 30 year old (lifelong) active conservative, Republican voter and a contributor to the Republican party. I went through the bastion of liberal indoctrination in College and staunchly defended the GOP, Reagan's legacy, truth, free-markets and capitalism every single day. I am a long time subscriber and prescriber to National Review.

I have placed my life on the line in service of this Republic; I served as an Air Force Captain at the Coalition Provisional Authority in Baghdad Iraq, and was awarded the Bronze Star Medal for actions there in Iraq.

I had every intention on running for office in Southern California as a solid pro-life conservative and proud GOP'er. I am encouraged by active (former) GOP voters to run for office just about every-other week.

I am--I was actually--the face of the young GOP, the future of the party. This is a joke and a disgrace. I haven't gone anywhere, I have not capitulated on my values, I still have a spine....so I stand here rigidly proud of the values that make this country the most beautiful part of history and tell you that the GOP has abandoned me--and I am crushed.

I am now a risk-taking entrepreneur in Los Angeles, having not taking a paycheck in 15 months pursuing the real American dream. I want the best and brightest in migration to this fine country. I have lived in or traveled to 30 countries in my short life, including a mission trip to share the Gospel in Bihar, India this spring....so I know the beauty and diversity of the world's people and am the farthest thing from a reactionary isolationist.

In fact, it's the experience in Iraq, Kuwait, Jordan, Eastern Europe and India that alarms me most about this immigration coup. We do not want to continue to create an underclass of non-assimilated citizenry, as we are, and as has been done in those countries. It is disastrous recipe. The bogus legislation being forced through the amoeba-spined Congress is literally a national sovereignty disaster.

I can't remember ever being this angry with my elected officials. I feel so utterly betrayed. The GOP should no longer count on my vote nor my financial support because I can no longer count on the GOP to represent me.

I am well aware that many many other Republican voters also feel betrayed by the Republican Party in their underhanded backroom deals in attempts to pass this horrible Amnesty Bill.

They are not only ignoring the will of the people in their own base, but willing to sell out the nation's security, prosperity and sovereignty.

I have served to defend this nations security--I expect the same from those elected--and sworn under oath--to defend this nation!

Border security now.

I WANT THE RULE OF LAW ENFORCED NOW (as if somehow this concept is ok to demand of the Iraqi Parliament, but dismissed as "too hard" here at home).

Do not offer amnesty.

As earlier stated, I am an Internet start-up Co-Founder, and love high-tech immigration that will assist those with the American entrepreneurial drive in creating more, domestic jobs. You are what you demand of your people--you want talent, attract talent; If you want an underclass of toilet-cleaning welfare roll residents; grant amnesty.

Do not offer guest worker schemes that grant a permanent drain on our social service institutions.

I thought we were the party of ideas!?!? What has happened?? If those ideas are ever in lock step with Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton, then the GOP has left me--not vice versa.

Why would Republicans be in cohorts with Ted Kennedy to pass a bill that will ultimately result in the demise of the Republican party? Not to mention it will result in making the illegal immigration problem WORSE? It's beyond me.

I will be voting in 2008, but I plan on voting for a staunch anti-illegal immigration candidate. Which by the way, can be a pro-immigration. High-tech, high-talent, high-education immigration.

Please don't call me for donations anymore. I will be giving it to true conservatives in defense of our nation's sovereignty from this point forward.


Disgusted,

Jared L. Still

LATER EDITED TO ADD THE FOLLOWING:

we are all immigrants to this country....

....and true diversity should be celebrated in the honest, legal, orderly naturalization of its' people.

The key is ILLEGAL immigration kills resources for naturalized citizens. I am anti-illegal immigration...or calling it what it is, the Mexicanization of the border states in the US b/c Mexico is too lazy to fix its' own economic problems.

Which is "colder"? A country that turns its back on its' own people, or one that wants orderly, legal immigration so that the needs of all of its diverse people can be met?

I believe in the sovereignty of nations and the rule of law.

There's no Nation in the history of man that has given, per capita, more than the US. It is the light and land of opportunity. However, if you look at the economic toll that ILLEGAL immigration takes upon the lower socio-economic systems in this country, it is clearly unfair to US citizens--millions of which are of course, Mexican and South American in descent.
04:54 
13 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Thursday, June 07, 2007 

Category: Life
Ok....so I talk about this in small group. I hear it at Yosemite and Zion with our Church. Hear it in phone convos with dozens and dozens of friends--all the time.

It's that time in life. We are all GRINDING....and Los Angeles is amongst the toughest places in the world to grind at. No doubt about it. Tough place; especially when you're trying to do it the right way. So many of us are GTI. 'Going through it'. It's just to varying degrees.

Been a really long year already...but it's all preparatory, all in God's hands and all totally purposeful. just like boot-camp, combat survival training, hell week and actually being in combat in Iraq, divorce and having moved a dozen times in 20 years....it really has kinda sucked, but I have loved it too--and, most importantly, I wouldn't trade this time for anything!

so...that being said, I wanted to pass along these anecdotes because they're amazing.

Had to share because so many have been asking where everything's at, how's life, etc, etc...and like TJ was talking about Church last night, I've just been numb, tired of talking to just about everyone (except God, actually)...and just wanted to share with you all, because frankly it's faster/easier than writing a bunch of reply emails. :)

If I can avoid total freaking financial calamity in the next few weeks, I believe this is going to be a REALLY exciting summer...

Gotten a huge lift today in a number of different ways....

From last night's American Dream show of Donny Deutsch's "Big Idea" on CNBC (a MUST SEE!):

- John Paul Dejoria was homeless, living out of his car with his son TWICE in his life

- John Paul Dejoria was fired from 3 positions in the hair care industry before starting Paul Mitchell sytems

- JPD; "Business, success is a cinch by the inch, hard by the yard"

- JPD; "nobody can tell you what you can't do. people will want to project THEIR model of success, fear and comfort on you. Don't worry about it. Just keep pressing forward, with passion and conviction. It will happen"

Then I get this in an email:

"i knew very little
about wishy until he emailed me the demo page site when i got back to the
states; and i was blown away!!!! seriously, you guys have nailed it so far.
every single piece of email and business document that has come out of
wishy, has been with out failure 100% professional, persuasive, just
amazing. i pride myself on being able to spot early tides in music artists,
movie's, pop-culture, trends in differnet type demographics.. and the
overall idea and execution of wishy so far has nailed it!.. if i had money
to put where my mouth is, i'd put it all in wishy.. investor's are going to
loooove life in half a decade.."

Then a brother of mine (Pike) from NoCal called, and told me, "Man....you know I was initially skeptical about Wishy...but now, HOLY COW! You guys are nailing it...I'm telling everyone I know, 'Man, Jared's the smartest dude I know, and now I totally see where they're going. This is going to be Google-big! Get involved!' J, you guys are going to be great!"

Good Lord....this all just brought tears to my eyes.

caffeine for my soul....

PRAISE GOD. Going to be a 2nd half of this great year. Ready to start it now! It has begun in my heart....total rebirth in so many ways. Wow....when you ask for things from God, like to be used for His will, prepared, humbled, etc...WATCH OUT.

not sleeping much. totaly messed up. Could use some prayers there...

BOOOOOOOOO not sleeping, HOOORAAAYYY GOD!

;)

jls
00:51 
0 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Saturday, May 26, 2007 

Category: Writing and Poetry
He stands in triumph looking down across the vast and expansive valleys lit with dawn's first kiss

The iridescent illumination of undisturbed path along the ridge testifies to his trail-setting march

The journey burnt the lungs of his soul. Consuming the mind with its ambush of fire.

The pain of the ascent debilitating, exploited and concentrated. Inviting the probing tacticians lurking in wait, stalking The Way, seeking to consume his eternal light in hopeless abyss.

Doubting sentinels crushed amber ends of their smokes into the dirt on his grave. Organic. Buried alive, in heart only. Hope crucified. The sinister soil feeding parasitically off of the life of a dream dared to be dreamt.

The doubt assimilated with the soul, traveling in stealth, intravenously.

The siren beckons, coercing the battle to rise. Pursue.

The temptation moved slithering across the path seemingly almost in cadence with his march. As the sky darkened, the liar's voice sought to marginalize the journey, pleading for a settlement. An accord shy of the heart's summit.

Lies hammer the armor, storm after storm, causing the soul to stir with vengeful aggression

The woman seductively beckons his heart just to the edge of the path ahead

The sword had to drawn, unsheathed as insolence feeds a holy fire. It is a time to relish the brutal, unflinching cold execution. Put to death are wretched demons of opposition. Cold steel lumbered through contorted flesh.

And he kneels, laboring again over the blood enveloping the liar's ground. The soul of the warrior is in communion with the one who always will be. Sanctification. Kneeling prayer. Exaltation.

The sun races, plummeting westward, as he is ushered with a youthful vigor by the spirit of David, King of Israel, late afternoon rays lighting the path at his feet.

She emerges from his side along the ridge, having caressed his shoulder, and made light his soles. Her succulent kiss awakens.

The sword is emphatically plunged into the earth, as the sun sets behind the imposing range of great mountains--battle peaks and rumbling valleys--of the future that lie ahead.








Jared L. Still 26 May 2007
02:45 
6 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Wednesday, May 02, 2007 

Current mood:most excellent
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
I had to tell this story today to complete this application; basically "Where are you from, how did you get here and what are some challenges and strengths?"

I thought it was interesting to see in print, so I copied and pasted over here to this little blog.

peace

jls

I was born in Colorado Springs, CO to a public school teacher Mom and an Electrician father. Not unlike many younger kids, my major influences or "heroes" back then were outside of my modest, middle-class household. I looked to my cowboy Great-grandfather and Denver QB John Elway for inspiration. I learned from Luke Skywalker and "Maverick" from Top Gun that truly anything is possible if you are able to bounce back from adversity and overcome failure. Before his passing, my Great Grandpa (who once was beaten to near-death over water-rights on his land in Colorado, but was too stubborn to die) taught me to ride a horse, shoot a gun and drive a truck. After my parent's divorce, my Dad and I spent incredibly special, life-changing, times together riding dirt bikes throughout some of the most amazing (and difficult) trails in the Rocky Mountains. It is those experiences that I believe ingrained in me a strong, pervasive sense of a John Wayne type of entitlement to playing the cowboy hero in my life's own Western. Although it wasn't until later in life that I was able to articulate it, I believed then as kid, that there is no ride too long, winter too cold, battle too tough, to be overcome through being a rugged, all-American cowboy.

I was always pretty gifted academically and athletically, bringing home A-minus report cards (which of course, were never quite good enough!) and never lost a track-race until 5th grade at the City Track Meet. Wow, was that ever humbling to be introduced to kids of different ethnicities for starters, and kids that were my same age (allegedly) that were already shaving. There's still to this day, no word whether or not these kids were drinking from the same water source as Lebron James, Danny Almonte and Greg Oden. Probably not, but that was my first taste of complete athletic obliteration. I played highly competitive travel-soccer and raced bikes with far more success than on the sweltering Colorado afternoon where I proved that it was indeed possible to lose a 100meter race by 15 meters.

At age eleven we moved to the first of 30--yes 30--countries that I have been to around the world. We moved to Germany before the fall of the Berlin Wall and Iron Curtain. We traveled throughout Europe and were blessed with being in Germany at a truly historic time.

I spent my high school years back in the West, in Tucson, Arizona except for my junior year being back in Germany. I was accepted to the University of Michigan but ultimately, the chance to play NCAA football and not accumulate a home's worth of debt led me to choose Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, AZ for my undergrad work.

NAU became not so much the institution that sanctified my undergrad degree, but the place where I became the professional and leader that I am. Fall of my freshman year was the point at which my life completely changed. I took on far more than I thought it possible to handle--and I loved--and have been thriving under the pressure of high demands ever since. I was playing football for the Lumberjacks (a full-time job), I was a pledge in the Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity, I was enrolled in Air Force ROTC and of course was carrying a heavy academic workload.

A couple years later, I was no longer playing football--putting my dreams of following John Elway to championship glory to rest--but I was elected President of the 70 man Fraternity, Cadet Commander of 250 ROTC cadets in boot camp, recognized as "most likely to make General Officer" by the boot camp staff, and working 20-30 hours a week to make ends meet. After growing the Fraternity from 30 to 70 members and leading us back to our place as the "most outstanding" chapter on campus, I was asked by the regional management of the restaurant I worked for to become the youngest manager in the corporation.

As I was nearing graduation, I got cold feet about accepting a 10 year commitment in the US Air Force if I were to follow my childhood dreams of becoming the next "Maverick" as a pilot in the USAF. I extended an extra year at NAU and ultimately decided to go into the business side of the Air Force because it met my three criteria: 1. Intellectually challenging 2. Combat deployable 3. Leadership opportunities.

I have been extremely fortunate to have been entrusted with so much responsibility (as reflected in the resume), given so many great leadership opportunities, having been led by and asked to lead so many wonderful people. However, quite frankly, I am most fortunate to have had so much opportunity for professional setbacks and growth. In the myriad of these experiences is where I have become the leader, become the executive and become the subordinate that I am today. I have excelled greatly with hundreds-of-millions of dollars in combat and rebounded from failures there too. I have been entrusted to negotiate disagreements on behalf of Ambassadors and Generals, only after gaining their confidence by being able to say, "I don't know" and "I messed up".

By being able to say, "I don't know" and "I'll find out", I have been able to solve incredible problems and lead teams to the most complex results because I haven't allowed ego to get in the way of growth. It is through this leadership aptitude, and the intellectual capacity to always ask the right questions, that this Criminal Justice Major has been able to excel with complex legal structures, aircraft subcontract management, highly technical stealth composites, avionics, hardware and software Integrated Product Teams. I have the financial acumen to build cap-tables and raise VC money, as well as construct a portfolio of hedge instruments to manage risk.

With all of that being said, what drives me and fuels me is that I have a unquenchable thirst for seeing good people have a lot of success. I really want to be a part of great people doing great things. It is that altruistic desire that has helped me achieve so much to date, and will be the fuel and fire that I bring to my future organization and team.
22:24 
10 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 

Current mood:  bouncy
Category: Religion and Philosophy
what's up foolio's??

I know it's a long one, but a worthy story to read; please take a minute and read Psalm 55 (FYI: The psalms are in the Christian Bible Mr. "Bring it Real" & Mr Seney ;) )

here are my thoughts, just had to share w/ you all:

Psalm 55: talk about being under attack and wanting to flee! This is freaking DAVID! The King that won more battles than anyone! The general commanding troops to take more blood than anyone in the Bible...DAVID wanted to fly away like a bird. He was heartbroken because his friend had turned against him. He was feeling attacked everywhere. In the heart, in the city, and I think we can presume safely....on the battle field. Wow...ever felt that way in life??

Freaking DAVID himself--Fellas, ladies....never forget this. God LOVED David's heart, he loved the passion with which he sought after His heart. He is what scholars call "a man after God's own heart"....and he was honestly PANICKED and HEARTBROKEN in this Psalm.

Take comfort in that my bros, take comfort for if David is allowed to be there, if David--who was ALWAYS in God's palm, was allowed to go through this, and was so vehemently hunted and scorned....then, if was are in God's palm and after His heart...we will be too.

But the good news is, we will also have many victories and be sheltered by God in battle after battle after battle, when we seek His heart and will for our lives first!

awesome reminder! I freaking LOVE DAVID. learning so much from the Psalms....

peace!

jls
23:13 
5 Comments
(Add Comment) |
Translate