Well, it's been a very, very long time since I've written a blog. Usually if I update my myspace it's because I have a new song out or some new video. Today, I have no such news to report.

Life has been very busy. I've been working overtime at work while being one course shy of full-time at college. Finals are coming up, changes are happening at work, my lovely wife is pregnant with our 5th child and sick all the time, and I'm typically exhausted.

I'm not complaining, mind you! I'm loving life and looking forward to the holidays. I'm also trying out for a traveling road show which, if accepted, I'll be doing a world tour starting in May. I'm excited about the possibilities of that happening, but I'm realistic enough to know there's a huge chance I won't make the cut. I'll definitely keep you updated when I know more about the results of that.

My first song is now on iTunes. It's the Spurs 2008 Playoffs Theme Song, and while the Spurs didn't fare so well last year, I still think the song was pretty good. If you're either a die-hard Spurs fan, or a die-hard J@W fan, go purchase it. It's only $.99 after all, and I could really use the scratch. Just type "James at War" in your iTunes browser and you'll find me. Hey, review me while you're at it, will ya? More songs, and soon an album to come.

I'm hoping things will slow down for me once finals are over and I'll be able to focus on some new music and videos. One potentially bad bit of news is: YouTube (from what I hear) is no longer allowing the monotonization of parodies without written consent from the producers of the song being parodied. As I'm not in "the biz" and have no connections, it could be very difficult for me to gain such permissions. This may mean no more videos. Bad news, right? So I'll keep you posted on that as well.

That's about it for now. Happy Holidays!

James

For the next 13 days I'll be away and unable to respond to anyone here on myspace or youtube.  I'll be playing gigs in New York City, Boston, And Washington DC.  My first mini tour.  Cool, huh?

If you run into me on the streets out there, be sure and say hi.

Oh, and I'm just kidding about the gigs...or am I???

My newest parody of Mercy Me’s So Long Self

Well if I come across as having let myself go, It’s just because I have

I’m sick and tired of all this exercise and tofu, I’m through with that

And it seems to me that if I cheat once on this diet, I gain three hundred pounds

So forget it, I’ll eat until I’m wider than the planet is big around

So long, health, I’ve traded in my celery for caramel

And now I’m going to eat and lay around and grow a lovely pair of manly boobs

So long, health, I might die young but in the meantime I’ll eat well

Fried cheese, stir fry, and apple pie

Oh, So long, health

Instead of water it is gravy I’ve been drinking, It’s my beverage of choice

To eat what I desire’s no longer wishful thinking, So I rejoice

And even though I haven’t seen my toes in some time, Who needs to anyway

The only important things is that my hands still reach up to feed my face

 

So long, health, I hate to go but Cinnabon’s calling my name

Now I’m so large when I’m backed up I have to get my enemas at jiffy lube

So long, health, It’s not my fault, it’s all those evil restaurant chains

Arby’s, Wendy’s, and Mickey D’s

Oh, so long

I feel so fat (Just look at what I’ve ate)

I’ve no self control (when I go to a buffet)

Oh what the heck (It’s all paid for so)

I’ll load my plate, my seventh plate

So long, health, Mobility is over rated anyway

I bought a crane on ebay, I’ll just use that in case I ever have to move

I’ll use my welfare checks to hire myself a chef and live-in maid

I’ll lay in this bed ’till I die

Oh, So long, health

Pass me a thigh

Oh, So long, health

Some spicy Thai

Oh, So long, health

Pancakes piled high

Oh, So long, health

Meatballs on rye

Oh, So long, health

Some cherry pie

Oh, So long, health

Just one more fry

Oh, So long, health

After seeing a recently featured video on YouTube entitled "Sweet Celine", I lamented to my wife on how I wish I could write beautiful songs for my children.  I would love each of my kids to have a song of their own from their Dad that lets them know that they are special to me.  However, at this point in time, I simply don't have the knack for it.  Sigh.

 So I decided if I can't change what I'm good at, I might as well use the talent I have to give them something special.  Thus, MacDonald Reborn was written as a children's parody of "Into the Night" by Santana featuring Chad Kroeger.  I dedicate this song to my kids, Joseph, Kyrra, Jaidn, and Arya.  Of course almost all of us sang "Old MacDonald Had A Farm" when we were kids, and my children are no exception.  So I rethought the story and added a bit of whimsy to it;  and in keeping with the tradition of old nursery rhymes being kind of creepy (Rock-a-bye Baby, anyone?), MacDonald dies at the end of the song.  However, his spirit lives on through his animals that celebrate his life every night, and the townsfolk say they can hear them for miles around through the night air.

This one's for my kids.  It a kids song.  They love it, and if you have children in your life, I hope you'll share it with them.  And hey, if you're anything like my wife…you'll love it, too!

Lyrics:

1st Verse
He was down a farm, he was on up in years
And the hair on his head had moved into his ears
He lived all on his alone, with nobody in sight
And he'd talk to his animals every night
Now this farmer was crazy or so I've been told
His name was McDonald, and they say he was old
And he sang…

(Chorus)
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
To the animals that lived on his farm
He sang them…
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
And the cows moo'd all through the night
(E-I-O)
(E-I-O)
And the cows moo'd all through the night

2nd Verse
Now his story was spread like the legends of old
Cause nobody could party like Old McDonald
He would jump in the pig pen and roll in the muck
Then he'd dance with the chickens and waltz with the ducks
Then he'd run with the dogs and chase after the hens
And he drank from the troff 'till he wet his depends
And he sang…

(Chorus)
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
To the animals that lived on his farm
He sang them…
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
And the sheep baa'd all through the night
(E-I-O)
(E-I-O)
And the sheep baa'd all through the night
(E-I-O)
(E-I-O)
And the sheep baa'd all through the night

3^rd Verse
He heard quacks over here and some some barks over there
And the noise never stopped but this farmer don't care
He just ran through the fields wih the goats and the sheep  
'Till one day he just never woke up from his sleep
And the animals carried his body with care
Took him out to the barn and he's still buried there
And they sang…

(Chorus)
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
If you visit there you can sometimes hear
him singing…
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
And the ducks quack all though the night
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
(E-I-O)
(E-I-O)
And the pigs oink all through the night
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
(E-I-O)
(E-I-O)
And the sheep baa all through the night
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
E-I-E-I-E-I-O
Singin, E-I-E-I-E-I-O
And the cows moo'd all through the night

Hey guys, here is my newest parody, a spoof of "The Way I Are" by Timbaland.  Accompanying me is the incredibly talented Sheena Melwani, an up and coming singer who has more talent in her little pinky than I do in my whole body.  Be sure and check out her myspace page (www.myspace.com/sheenamelwani) and her youtube page as well (http://www.youtube.com/SheenaMelwani). If you haven't already, be sure and check out my youtube page as well, Sheena and I would both really appreciate it if you subscribed to us over there!  Mine is http://www.youtube.com/JamesatWar.

 So, you may have to be a bit of a English nerd to find this funny, but I am one and so are many of my friends.  I hope this will be the theme songs of English teachers everywhere!  (Be sure and show it to your teachers, kids!)

Lyrics:

I aint got no reason
I aint got no motive to articulate
My consonants and vowels
I see no good reason to enunciate
(talk to me girl)

Oh Baby, it's alright you've got no eloquence
As long as it rhymes it don't have to make sense
Just throw out all those grammatical elements
There ain't no need to say it right

Chorus
It's the latest trend, go and tell your friends
We can all begin to use some bad grammar
All the latest songs like to say it wrong
We be singin wit some bad grammar
Take the last letter off a' end a' words
Now you talking with some bad grammar
I ain' pullin tricks wit my linguistics
I'm jus' talkin' talkin', talkin'

Verse 2
I don't use no syntax
I aint got no idea what a singular verb is
I'm worser at superlatives
And I don't ever use no double negatives

Talk to me girl

Bridge 2
Oh, baby, it's alright c'mon now don't be scurred
It's all the latest craze to mispronounce some words
Like instead of that right there, we would say that right thurr
And we won't even spell it right

Chorus
It's the latest trend, go and tell your friends
We can all begin to use some bad grammar
All the latest songs like to say it wrong
We be singin wit some bad grammar
Take the last letter off a' end a' words
Now you talking with some bad grammar
I ain' pullin tricks wit my linguistics
I'm jus' talkin' talkin', talkin'

Baby girl, When I took my English class, you know I barely passed
Listen baby girl, got no proper verbal skills but I be wearin grills
So listen baby girl, I ain gotta talk the talk to make my record pop
So that's why baby girl, when I'm talkin, it seems impaired, seems impaired yeah.

Yo my grammar ain' no prodigy
My strongest suit isn't morphology
It's hard for people to be understandin me
Never changed my verbal habits since when I was three

So, Listen baby girl, before you make another sound, make sure that you're on par
Cause listen baby girl, We talking wit some bad grammar, bad grammar

Chorus
It's the latest trend, go and tell your friends
We can all begin to use some bad grammar
All the latest songs like to say it wrong
We be singin wit some bad grammar
Take the last letter off a' end a' words
Now you talking with some bad grammar
I ain' pullin tricks wit my linguistics
I'm jus' talkin' talkin', talkin'

I was so lonely on my own
Than you came in my life asking to be my wife
I didn't answer when you proposed
Instead I started to cry
And now you're asking me why

Since you asked me to share
I think that it's only fair
That I tell you how I'm feeling right now
--> -->

When you're here
The blood vessels in my head start to pound
When you're here
It's kinda hard to keep my dinner down
When you're here
The clothes you choose to wear that are too tight for your huge behind
Make me wish I were blind

Can't stand you

I've never been so nauseous before
I keep a baggie in case I happen to see your face
And the stench you left is stuck in my couch
In case you didn't know
Perfume won't cover B.O.

When you walk away
The whole house begins to shake
Do you see how much you disgust me now?

When you're here
I fantasize I'm in another place
When you're here
Like hurtling towards the sun in outer space
And When you're here
The thought of being stuck for life with you here as my bride
Bring thoughts of suicide

Can't stand you

Not sure I can recover
Seeing you uncovered
Made me disturbed
I would rather hook up with an angry shark
Walk though Compton with a white hood in the dark
Before I'd marry you I'd go hunting with Dick Cheney, yeah

When you're here
Women I would rather date appear
And When you're here
Like Janet Reno, Rosie or Britney Spears
And when you're here
The image that I see when you dress in your lingerie
Make me want to turn gay

Can't stand you...........

I'll leave it to you to decide how much of this actually happened. :)

Lyrics-

As life goes on I'm finding that I still sluff off most of my responsibilities

And I realize that I can be easily distracted from what's going on around me

So I wanted to…uh…(cough)  hold on a minute

just a second…
What did you want again?  Oh right…I was singing a song…
--> -->
I'm sorry for the way that I've behaved
Over the last twenty seven days
I'm sorry for the times you asked and pled
But I never heard a word you said

When you were telling me to take out the trash
And you were warning me we were low on cash
I'm sorry that I acted like a slob
I'm sorry I got fired from my job

--> -->I'm sorry that the house hasn't been cleaned
The kids fought and I didn't interveen
I'm sorry that I haven't made our bed
I didn't feed the dog and now he's dead

Because I'm on the couch like everyday
Livin off of Mountain Dew and Frito Lays
I'm sorry for the weight that I've started to gain
I'm sorry that my man boobs are causing you pain

And yes I know that your folks came over
And I never said hello
And I missed our toddlers first steps
And your birthday yes I know

And I suppose the very worst it all
Was when I missed the birth of our new baby
But I had a very good reason babe
See I was playin Halo 3

I was playin Halo 3
I was playin Halo 3
Hanging out with Master Chief
Edition Legendary

Yeah, I was playin Halo 3
See, I was playin Halo 3
Just hanging out with Master Chief
While I was playin Halo 3

I'm sorry that I missed the toilet, dear
Cause I was tryin play by lookin in the mirror
I know that it must have seemed so cruel
When I didn't pick our son up from school

I'm sorry that the car got repossed
I bought the flat screen instead of making payments
I'm sorry that all I could see was my game
When you came down in your new lingerea

And I know your threatening to leave me
You found a man you're going to wed
And I'm sorry ya'll will never get married
Cause now he plays Halo with me instead

I know it's really hard on you
And it's got you feelin blue
It must be just like Deja Vu
From when I was playing Halo 2

I was playing Halo 2
I was Playing Halo 2
It almost split up me and you
When I was playing Halo 2
--> -->
But now I'm playing Halo 3
On my Xbox 360
Just hanging out with my online peeps
While we're playing Halo 3
--> -->

I start recording on my new album tonight.  I don't know how long it will before the album is complete and ready for purchase, but I will keep you posted!  Also, a new website is in the works!  So stay tuned!

If you would be so kind, go to the following site and watch popstar, then vote for it! (Don't forget to subscribe or befriend or whatever it is they do on that site)  If I can make some people notice me on this site, maybe I can go somewhere with this whole parody artist thing.  I appreciate any help you can give.  Thanks!

http://www.famesource.com/JamesatWar