The induction:
Anyhoo, Friday, July 30th, at 8:30am, I went to John Muir hospital to be induced into labor. The induction started pretty quickly after arriving via a 3rd I.V. attempt. the 1st 2 I.V.'s they put in hit valves and had to be reinserted until lucky number 3 hit home. They hooked up 2 monitors to my tummy: 1 for the baby's heartbeat and the other was set up to show my contractions. Seems the contractions were there but I wasn't feeling a single one of them.
The boredom:
While waiting for the whole process to follow through to the end, my mother, father,
Kelly and my cousin Amber came by to keep me company. Just like and father, Kelly initiated himself into fatherhood by playing with the adjustable bed functions, asking the nurses for room service, having wheelchair races with my dad (it scares me how alike they are sometimes...) and egged my dad on for flirting with my nurse (and it was pretty obvious too, I'm suprised he didn't just come out and ask for her damn number). Later on the "guests" kept themselve entertained by crosswords, word finds and taking pictures of me at my most miserable looking.
Breaking the water a.k.a. all hail the epideral:
1pm rolled around and it was time for them to decide to break my water. I was still only dilated to 2-3cm at this point and once they broke my water I jumped up to 4-5 in under 1 hour. That is when the contractions started to make me feel sick. The pain from each one made me wince and cramp up and my back felt like it was on fire. I went through the past 9 months telling myself that I would go all natural and tough it out with out painkillers.... boy did I mislead myself. I got the epideral within 2 hours of having my water break and that was a new sort of pain all on it's own. I had to sit up, with my contractions only 1 minute apart, bending over a table top with Kelly comforting my from the front and the nurse comforting me from the side. The anesthesiologist (sp?) was a pretty cool guy and he explained the process to me before doing anything. The numbing agent hurt more than anything else. then I felt a tingly feeling spread down my back. The epideral was in and I was feeling a-ok.
The rest of the labor went by in a blur. I was practically sleeping by the time my baby was ready to come along. The epideral took all of my contraction pain away almost instantantly. The only indication to me that I was even having a huge contraction was that I would have shortness of breath for the breifest moment and look over at the monitor to see that I was have a contraction that was shooting right off the chart.
9.8lbs, 21.5":
At 9:45pm it was time. I was fully dilated and efaced and ready to push. Kelly held one leg and my mother held the other. At this time the epideral was loosing some of it's potency and I was feeling my contractions again. At the start of each contraction I had to take a nice deep breath, let it out, then another one to start the pushing process. As I inhaled the 2nd breath my legs were pushed up to my chest and I had to push as hard as I could... kind of like trying to push while taking a crap. Each push was counted to 10 seconds and for each contraction I had to push 3-4 times. At the end of an hour, 10:41pm, , his head was about halfway out and my Dr. said, "one more really hard push". I pushed, she grabbed him and pulled him out all at once, and I screamed in utter pain mixed with relief.
The ties that bind:
I recieved a 3rd degree tear. My vag, uterus and rectum all tore from this 9.8lb munchkin. It took my Dr. an hour and 15 minutes to finish with my stitches. I could feel everything. The epidera;l had lost it's effect and they started to inject locals... 8-10 shots later and I could still feel the stitches. I don't know what wonder drug they used but they put it into my I.V. I was so loopy from it... within minutes. I could still feel the pressure of the stitches but I just didn't care. Other than repeatedly saying that everything she was doing sucked, I was spouting nonsence that I couldn't even comprehend. I think I remember trying to explian to my mother something about how great it was that I didn't say any swear words to Kelly during labor or something retarded like that... who knows.
More bad news:
I couldn't get up. I couldn't so much as turn onto my side without pain. I was the most miserable that I have ever been in my entire life. When Devlin cried I had to rely on Kelly, my mother, nurses... whomever was there to go to him. The nurses were coaching me to nove to the edge of the bed and sit up. Then to stand up. They would try to get me to walk but as soon as I lifted myself up I got lightheaded and sick to my stomach. I would ask them if, on average, it took this long for pregnant women to move post partum and they would say no and tell me that everyone else is a little bit more active. That made me feel like shit as well. I thought that maybe I was just being a pathetic loser; a pussy from the whole ordeal since I wasn't "up to speed" in regards to the recovery process. Then I found out that I am anemic and I had lost a lot of blood during delivery. I don't know what my blood count was at then. All I really knew was that they were keeping me an extra night. They were pumping me full of fluids and iron. It wasn't untill I was being discharged that my Dr. told me that, at one point, they had concidered giving me a blood transfussion if I didn't improve. I did end up bringing my blood count to a stable level, but it was still low. I was discharged at 7.2.
Post partum depression:
Since I am one of the women of this world that are "blessed" with inverted nipples, I can't breast feed. Which really blows 'cause that is something that I really wanted to do. Here I was, hardly able to move from the stitches as well as becoming seriously backed up and constipated from the iron pills. I felt like a failure as a woman and mother because I couldn't take care of my baby. I couldn't go to the cries, change the diaper or even feed my child. I was frustrating everyone around me 'cause I was needing them to do what I should have been doing. All I could do was cry.
The 1st b.m. a.k.a. b;oodbath in paradise:
Tuesday night... the night every woman dreads post partum. I had hobbled to the bathroom to take a shower. The water felt soooo good. I dried off and asked my mother to help me do "the nasty". No, not what you are all thinking of. Something much wierder. I asked her to give me a suppository. That's motherly love right there.
Anyhoo, after that was administered I went lay down. I had yet to get my 1st bowel movement and the constipation was making me ill. I couldn't push it 'cause I could risk tearing my stitches like my mother did after she had me. My stomach had started bloating up and the pressure from the build up was painfull. I started to go to bed but I couldn't. I felt sick. My tummy spasmed and I recieved this gut wrenching pain. Kelly could tell just by looking at me that something was wrong. All the color I had regained over the weekend left me and he needed to help me to the bathroom. I got to the bathroom sink and I lost control. The pressure pressed on and blood started to pour down my legs. I screamed in pain and forced myself to sit on the toilet. My stomach spasmed again and everything came out at once. My mother woke and came to the bathroom at the sounds of myscreaming. The floor was covered in blood as well as the toilet and inside te toilet was a red pool with my b.m. sitting along with it. It was so compacted and backed up that it sat in the toilet rather than floating and there were more than one piece. The longest, I would honestly estimate, was about 6" in length and about 1.5" in diameter. This is no exageration. My mother helped to cover me up and wipe me down. I lied down shaking and ill, popped a viccoden (sp?) and passed out.
A home nurse came by the next day to assess me. I, luckily, hadn't torn my stitches. There was no real explanation for the amount I bled out from the ordeal. The stitches were tight and close togrether and held up really well. That was such a relief to me. I think, after that, I felt more confident about my healing process.
Conclusion:
Now, I have so much I have to do/catch up on. It's still going to be a while before I am fully active again. Also, I am still having a few difficulties with sitting and being on my feet for long periods of time. I absolutely adore my little monkey... even if I haven't had a desent nights sleep since his arrival.
I will get back to the swing of thing soon enough ;-)
Here are a few pics from the weekend.
I especially like the one taken of Devlin lieing on my chest looking at me for the 1st time while my Dr. is stitching me up. Don't worry, you can't see the stitches part. It was taken from behind my bed. ;-P
There are a lot more pics to come so prepare for more baby piccies in future entries.
**Edited** I know there are a lot of spelling and punctuation errors in this entry. I was typing it with one hand while holding a sleeping Devlin in the other. That, and I really don't want to have to proof read this sucka ;-P