the time is coming and with each passing day I grow more and more anxious, good and bad.
scared, amazed, about the act of bringing a child into this world out of my own body. Terrified and excited to be in that moment when I first hold him after exhausting myself to bringing him to us. the future is set but still so many paths to go on. will I...no, will we just know how to raise him? We wont be perfect, parents never ever are, thats what makes their children the strongest. what kind of life will we carry on with him running around in it?

who will he be?

a new beginning
a new chapter in my life has opened. a little earlier, a little unexpected , never to be regretted.

unknown territory to me, I'm not alone though. I have my love, I have my friends and my family. I know they will be there for me, I know I have support.
It will be hard
I'll do my best and so will he.
I am scared but I have courage.
I will.



This new chapter has a name

It is called Motherhood.

my eyes are opening
i'm waking up

waking up from a dream world of hypocrites lies insincerity games and immaturity.

people i thought i knew, i am seeing through, under and into
i see the truth

your colors are showing.

and i dont like them.

thoughts go around and around in my head. ideas, opinions, beliefs. all day all there. but then something happens, conversations try to start and i choke. i want to but i forget it all, i forget myself, and fear reactions of what i manage to express.

help me.
i dont know how to cry for help when i'm scared to speak.

i am searching. for a muse. for a love. for a connection. have i found it? i think i may have. but i cant be for sure. we are scared and we are lost. i cant find my way out of my head and i cant find my way into my own life. i'm trying to find a way. a way to find what i want what i need who i love why i love what i'm doing where i'm going....i'm searching in this thing called life. i'm searching for it all and the nothing. i'm searching for answers and more questions to answer. i'm searching for the unknown i'm searching to know. i'm searching. i'm scared. but i'll keep on and i'll find a way to find, one day.

what is the meaning of life?
why do we exist? what is the purpose of our existance? are we just here or is there a something greater? do we create and destroy as we do for a ultimate reason? what do our actions now truely mean to the future? is there a overall purpose to what we do?...or do we simply exist?

why does it seem, with each passing generation we seem to lose intellegence? we seem to lose common sense and lose touch with the earth we are killing...we seem to lose touch with what is real and therfor unreality has almost become our reality.
i fear so much of what the future holds...
i fear for my children...

words are weird and can be difficult to decipher....
you can say one thing and mean something completely different.
or say something and not mean it at all
or say something and have the meaning not be fully clear....

words can tell you something about someone without them even meaning to or possibly even realizing the words are there.

sometimes words are there and you simply choose ignorant bliss over the obvious truth.

or, sometimes words seem obvious about something but dont mean anything at all

i dont know.
sometimes that means i do but choose not to

does this make any sense to anyone but myself?

who are you, really?
I am Carlie Rose Morris.
a daughter, a sister, a friend, a girlfriend, a woman.
I am who you are and i am who I was raised to be.
I am who I think I am at the time.
I am putty to be molded by society.
I am nobody to some, the world to others.

what are your dreams and hopes?
to travel the country, meet people, see things, do things
i hope to make some sort of difference.
i hope to be happy as often as possible.
i hope for love
i hope to be loved.

what is your irreality/shangri-la/utopia?
a world where drugs dont kill.
a world full of glitter and wings
a world where creatures live in harmony. (incase you didnt notice, we are creatures as well. yet we kill everything in our paths.)
a world of true freedom.
a world of common sense.

true friendships last.

don't judge your friends by the number of comments or messages they send you on myspace.
don't judge friends by how often you talk to them.

are you going to stop being friends with someone cause they stop talking to you?
because they stopped hanging out?

maybe think about what is going on with that person.
maybe they didn't stop talking to just you, but to everyone.
maybe they stopped hanging out with many people
maybe they are sinking into themselves and no one is pulling them out.

open your eyes.
and you will see,
your true friends are there
sometimes silently crying out.

are you there for them?

wingless one
dreams of the sky
surrounded by glitter
suffocated by pollen
wingless one
will you ever fly?

tick tock
tick tock
time goes by
to slow, to fast
i'm dyeing
i'm crying
save me

baby, your love is so sweet
please lay a kiss upon my lips
take my breath away
and breath into me your bliss

flowers glitter lust sex
pixie, pixie with no wings
will she ever fly away?

giants devour me
my blood spills
roses bloom from her eyes
and now we shall all die

cosmetic covered scars
scars boil, bubble, burst and burn
fake roses tainted with blood
adorn your soft skin
who will be next?

jewel encrusted dead girl
naked, snow white with red lips
in the gutter
gutter girl

gutter woman
blood on her breasts
eyes glazed with death
run away gutter child

mysterious creature
skin blue, hair green
breasts exposed and glistening
creature of lust
dance for me
my sweet little nympho
dance.

save me from my self
make me better
bless me with your pleasure



the holes are growing
soon to be a massive abyss
this feeling will soon be to much to bear
what do I do from here?

sedated by the blood
your beauty corrupt and plastic
glitter and roses mask your deformities
cosmetic covered scars everywhere
and your eyes glimmer with death

this is my twisted world.
where paper is always torn and crumbled.
where hearts bleed salty, painful tears and
eyes cry metallic, bitter, blood.
where dust is always in the air.
and the beauty of snow is never seen.
where shadows bloom.
where glass covers the streets,
caked in blood and grime
where dreams are long forgotten and
nightmares are all that is known.
welcome to my twisted world.

written 04-present.
about different people. i write what i see. i havent written much in a while but i really like this collection so far so i'm putting it up for more people to see.


there's a girl i know
she takes on everyone's problems
she needs to get away
life is a riddle to her
and she cant seem to solve it
she looks to hard for love
and doesn't let it just happen


there's a girl i know
she's in love, so she thinks
but her love is suffocating
she wants out
she wants experimentation
she doesnt want to hurt anyone

there's a girl i know
she's loved but blind
she's afraid of her emotions
and she goes for the wrong people
her heart is cracked
but she thinks its broken

theres a girl i know
all she wants is to be herself
everyone around her says no
shes been hurt
she guards her heart the best she can
but its hard when all she wants are friends


Theres a girl I know...
she dances in the rain
in sex she seeks love and a connection
she spends her nights drinking
she cant sleep without crying
she is filled with longing
and she is confused.



there's a girl I know
she needs guidance
she needs some one to love her
shes lost
everyone thinks shes dead
but shes not
shes dyeing, but not dead
everyone has given up
says its useless
but its not
she needs to see
she needs some one to tell her

There is a girl I know...
she sings
she is forever haunted
by a love she let go long ago
she is a virgin
but is not innocent
she is filled with teenage confusion
and longs to know what she wants.

Theres a girl i know
she is a woman
she is a mother
she cries and we dont know why
she hurts, from what we may never know
we try and fail
we dont know what to do.