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Sunday, November 30, 2008
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I've had issues for a long time, i dont know where they came from or why i have them. i dont remember ever being stabbed in the back or screwed over, maybe i supressed it so i dont have to think about it again. I'm a loner who's turned everyone who ever tried to get close to me away, every chance i've had to get close to someone i blew off. It's probably just anxiety, maybe not. All i know is that i've had more than enough opportunities to get close to people, but did. Maybe its fear, maybe not. Trust is something i dont think i will ever be able to give anytime soon, so i guess until then i'll walk alone.
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Thursday, July 24, 2008
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Current mood:  numb
Hey people, (pretty sure no one reads this anyway but oh well i dont give a shit i'm going to say shit anyway.) I'm bored out of my fucking mind! maybe its 'cause i dont do anythign about it but oh well, i've been spending a majority of my time being my anit-social self, dont know how it started but i just changed one summer and felt awkward around other people, maybe i always was anti-social, maybe not. Been working at the BX for a few months and have been spending the majority of my time there. As the days go by i become more jaded, numb. There are times i wonder if its just a faze or that i brought it upon myself, probably the second one...well that's all for now
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Wednesday, January 30, 2008
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Current mood:  bored
So yeah, i've got alot of shit on my hands now. Taking classes i might be too stupid to take, or maybe i'm just lazy. Probably the second one. On saturday i finally got my driver's licence XD. After have the permit for nearly two fuckin years. The DMV is one of satin's many ways of screwing you up the ass and my ass is still hurting. I'm not into sticking anything up my ass if you're thinking that i meant said that because i like it. I dont swing that way, for all i know the one that's reading this is probably into that kind of stuff. though that's none of my buisness. Kinda off topic, always do that. So yeah Senoritis it starting to affect me. Oh well its about time i relaxed for one fuckin second. That's all for now.
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007
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Current mood:  depressed
ugh... im just been so depressed lately, sometimes i wonder if ne one gives a damn, but i just try to forget about it thinkin that its nothin...but it always comes bak and hurts more than the first time. im sick of feelin this shit...i've gotta let it all go n move on like i should have...maybe commin bak was a mistake...maybe its carma ive been a real ass my entire life so i guess it just decided to bite me rite on the ass. guess i deserve it. o well i guess ill just return to wat i usually do block out wat im feelin n put my body through enough pain to block it out. (if ur readin this i dont mean hurt myself in a suicidal way im depressed not suicidal)ugh my life sucks!
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Thursday, August 09, 2007
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Current mood:  mellow
its my last day in vegas n i havent done crap today ugh... i mite rent a movie i donno so ya im headin bak to o'fallon...funny 3 months ago i was sayin goodbye now im commin bak
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Saturday, July 14, 2007
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Current mood: depressed
WTF is goin on wit my life? im just in a low point at this part of my pathetic life. ive been in vegas for about 2 months now and i can feel my sanity sliping... i guess we're all insane in more ways than one...ne ways im goin nite ppl
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Saturday, June 02, 2007
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i left o'fallon like 2 days ago n now im in vegas n mite not come bak 4 next year. ugh... i dont give a shit
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Sunday, July 02, 2006
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so ya im leavin on friday the 7th:( i cant beleive this. illinois is gonna be gay  i beter not get fuckin' shot!
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